The Greatest Movie Quotes (4644 hits)
Category: Movies & TVRating: 1.16 on 152 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by fudgepacknuts (View user info) at 2005-06-22 14:44:19 EDT
For those who might have missed it last night, the American Film Institute, in honor of its 100 year anniversary, gave its collective opinion of the 100 greatest movie quotes of all time. Here's a link for those interested in what the AFI thought was memorable: http://www.afi.com/tvevents/100years/quotes.aspx#list
#5 "Here's looking at you, kid." - Casablanca
#4 "Toto, I've got a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore" - The Wizard of Oz
#3 "You don't understand. I could've had class. I could've been a contender. I could've been somebody instead of a bum, which is what I am." - On the Waterfront
#2 "I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse" - The Godfather
#1 "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." - Gone with the Wind
In my opinion, they didn't even come close. Well, maybe they did, god knows I'm not savvy on movies pre-1970. But hey, opinions are like assholes, right? Everybody's got them. So, now I'll open a floodgate or two on what people here think are the greatest / most memorable / funniest / whatever movie quotes of all time.
Here are some of my personal favorites (and I'd also like to thank www.imdb.com for helping me out with some of these).
"Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diago, which of course in German means a whale's vagina." - Anchorman, 2004
"How about if I wait six weeks to call. I could tell her I found her number while I was cleaning out my wallet, I can't remember where we met. I'll ask her what she looks like and then I'll ask her if we fucked. How about that? Would that be the money?" - Swingers, 1996
Elsa: [Kisses Indy] Zat's how Austrians say goodbye.
Vogel: Und zis is how ve zay goodbye in Germany, Dr. Jones.
[Punches Indy]
Indiana Jones: I liked the Austrian way better.
Henry Jones: So did I.
- Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, 1989
"Now as a question of etiquette as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch?" - Fight Club, 1999
O'Hagan: I swear to God I'm going to pistol whip the next guy who says, "Shenanigans."
Mac: Hey Farva what's the name of that restaurant you like with all the goofy stuff on the wall and the mozzarella sticks?
Farva: You mean Shenanigans?
Rabbit, Mac: OOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
- Super Troopers, 2001
"Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you'd have a diamond." - Ferris Bueller's Day Off, 1986
"You ever dance with the Devil by the pale moon light?" - Batman, 1989
Jimmie: Did you see a sign out in front of my house that said Dead Nigger Storage?
Jules: No. I didn't.
Jimmie: You know WHY you didn't see that sign?
Jules: Why?
Jimmie: 'Cause it ain't there, 'cause storing dead niggers ain't my fucking business, that's why!
- Pulp Fiction, 1994
"Now go home and get your fuckin' shine box" - Goodfellas, 1990
"What we were after now was the old surprise visit. That was a real kick and good for laughs and lashings of the old ultraviolence." - A Clockwork Orange, 1971
User Reviews
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2005-10-25 18:29:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You had your brother's car back here by 8:00 on Sunday night, and this morning.......it was gone! D-day takes care of the wreck, your brother's insurance company buys your brother A NEW CAR.
Flounder: Well you think it will work?
Hey! Gotta work better than telling the truth.
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DeNiro: If you didn't know you were being set up you're too stupid to keep this job, if you did know you were in on it. Either way, YOU"RE OUT!
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Gaggi: Nicky, this new kid, he's making a lot of money for us, so a good eye on him, okay?
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Pesci: Without me, everyone in this town would take a piece of your JEW ass!
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Pesci: You make me pop your fucking eye out of your head to protect that piece of shit? Frankie, do him a a fucking favor.
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DeNiro: I got little hands....no matter how hard I train, no matter who I fight, I ain't never gonna be able to fight Joe Louis.
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DeNiro: BRING IT OVER HERE!
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Pesci: You gotta do it right. I mean, ya gotta have the hole already dug. Otherwise, you're talking about a half hour, forty-five minutes of digging. And who knows who's gonna come around during then? Before you know it, you got a few more holes to dig, I mean you could be there all fuckin' night.
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Pesci: They FUCK YOU at the drive thru.
Submitted by DrSeussman (user info) at 2005-10-25 18:27:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"So he finishes his set and he's walking off right?" "Trying to stiff me, so I says to the Lama I say hey, you know, how about a little something, you know for the effort". You know what he says to me? "I can't give you any money but on your deathbed you will receive total conciousness". "So I got that going for me."
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2005-10-25 18:22:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I can't believe I haven't seen this one yet. This is a favorite of mine due to my profession.
"I DEAL WITH THE GODDAMN CUSTOMERS SO THE ENGINEERS DON'T HAVE TO! I HAVE PEOPLE SKILLS! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?"
Submitted by DrSeussman (user info) at 2005-10-25 18:20:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't forget "This is my boomstick", and "You see Mitch I used to be you. Lately I've been missing me so I asked Hathaway if I could room with me again and he said yes. DUCK!"
Submitted by punkerrjess (user info) at 2005-10-25 18:08:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Warriors! Come out and play!"
"We are no longer the knights who say 'Ni!' We are now the knights who say 'ecky ecky ecky ecky pa-kang nee womp'."
"Don't use your boyfriend voice with me."
"I ... I could just burn this whole place down."
"Where are you going?"
"I'm going to pick a fight."
"Well, we didn't get all dressed up for nothing."
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-10-25 17:47:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
dear god, dont get me started on 'back to school'
"great teacher...he really seems to care...about what i have no idea"
"I feel like i just gave birth......to an accountant"
"you can do anything you want. remember, YOU'RE A MELLON!"
Submitted by OnEdge (user info) at 2005-10-25 17:40:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"They're gonna need some more FBI guys"
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2005-10-25 17:24:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"Flunk me??????!!!"
"Flunk YOU!!!!!"
----Back to School, Rodney Dangerfield
Submitted by cocaine (user info) at 2005-10-25 17:09:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No it doesn't
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-10-25 16:47:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sorry....this needs to be back on the most recent reviewed list....shlongy, if you;re out there, how about some more caddyshack quotes.
"Have you ever heard of the emancipation proclamation?
"I don't listen to hip-hop!"
Submitted by fried-green-potatoes (user info) at 2005-07-14 22:37:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sid: "It's just a rough patch. Things will get better when we're in America."
Nancy: "We're IN America!"
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-07-11 14:55:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i forgot this great exchange:
Holden: If the buzz is any indicator, that movie's gonna make some huge bank.
Jay: What buzz?
Holden: The Internet buzz.
Jay: What the fuck is the Internet?
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2005-06-27 14:07:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-06-27 13:50:42 (#)
Ranking: 0
holy crap, potatoman........are you serious? big shots? what a fucking call. while you're at it, want to quote high spirits, walk like a man, and soul man for me? those are all about in the same league.
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Glad I could be of service. I haven't even thought og High Spirits since... well... ever.
Here's another great quote for you and movie to guess (I've left the names in, so it maight be too easy):
Brian Kelly: Can I ask you something personal?
Tina Trac: Sure...
Brian Kelly: Where's the bathroom?
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-06-27 13:50:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
holy crap, potatoman........are you serious? big shots? what a fucking call. while you're at it, want to quote high spirits, walk like a man, and soul man for me? those are all about in the same league.
wow. big shots. never would have thought to quote such a....hmmmm......amazingly god-awful yet insanely enticing movie.
i'm in shock. big shots?
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2005-06-27 13:15:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A quote no one will get:
"I walk on water, eat bullets, and shit ise cream."
Submitted by MisterDevious (user info) at 2005-06-27 08:45:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
NIGEL: These go to 11. --Spinal Tap
DAVID: It's such a fine line between stupid an'...
DEREK: ...and clever.
Elwood: It's a 106 miles to Chicago. We got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses.
Jake: Hit it! --The Blues Brothers
OFFICIAL: Stop! Stop, will you?! Stop that! Stop it! Now, look! No one is to stone anyone until I blow this whistle! Do you understand?! Even, and I want to make this absolutely clear, even if they do say 'Jehovah'.
CROWD: Ooooooh!...[CROWD stones OFFICIAL] --Monty Python's "Life of Brian"
NORMAN: We all go a little mad sometimes. --Psycho
Submitted by Banga3386 (user info) at 2005-06-27 05:32:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm fuking impressed that it only took 11 reviews and jgreening mentioned the great They Live. I'm more happy with the fact that someone other than myself pointed it out.
Squeak "Little Bitch" Scolari: "Goddammit! I swear if you guys rip on me 13 or 14 more times... I'm outta here!"
Doug Reemer: Listen to me little bitch! You either go out there and make that shot or I'm gonna shove your head so far up your fuckin' ass, you'll have to wear yourself as a hat!
Bob Costas to Al Michaels: "You're excited? Feel these nipples!"
Baseketball
Single greatest line I've ever heard.
Banga
Submitted by FatTony (user info) at 2005-06-27 01:46:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Uh, yeah. Mmmmm, faster. harder. Fuck me. oooooo. Ooooo. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Any porno
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2005-06-26 23:50:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
There's a few other ones I can't remember right now. Maybe later.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2005-06-26 23:43:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
Submitted by 2x4fun (user info) at 2005-06-26 23:12:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
TOGA!!
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-06-26 20:23:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of ASSE. I know from experience, dude....if you know what I mean.
No you don't.
Well...not me personally. But a guy I know...him and her GOT. IT. ON! WHHOOOO WEEEEEE hehehehe
No they didn't.
Nooooo, no they didn't. But you could imagine what it would be like if they did, huh? eh? ehh?...... Everybody on? Good. Grand. Wonderful. NO YELLING ON THE BUS!
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-06-26 16:17:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ITS TEH R0B0COP!!@! LOLZ - Robocop
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2005-06-26 15:58:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Randal: Heh. Look I scared that monkey so bad it's shaking.
Dante: Ugh. It's not shaking, it's mastubating.
Randal: Yeah, out of fear.
Leanardo: My goodness something must have scared that monkey.
-Clerks Animated
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2005-06-24 22:35:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia. I wanted to meet interesting and stimulating people of an ancient culture and ... kill them.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2005-06-24 22:08:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-06-22 16:32:39 (#)
Ranking: 0
"Great Spirit, Maker of All Life. A warrior goes to you swift and straight as an arrow shot into the sun. Welcome him and let him take his place at the council fire of my people. He is Uncas, my son. Tell them to be patient and ask death for speed; for they are all there but one - I, Chingachgook"
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The Last of Mohicans
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-06-24 21:44:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
fuck it, lets go bowling.
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2005-06-24 21:12:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"Keep your friends close... but keep your enemies closer." - from one of the Godfather movies I think.
Submitted by SkinnyKenny (user info) at 2005-06-24 17:43:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dante: So how many?
Veronica: What?
D: How many dicks have you sucked?
(counting on fingers)
V: Something like 36.
D: 36!?! Does that include me?
V: Um, 37.
D: THIRTY SEVEN! (to customer) My girlfriend sucked thirty seven dicks.
Customer: In a row?
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2005-06-24 14:53:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-06-24 14:34:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fudge - I have found that there are some users close. Me, Val, Rizzo, Totally_Useless, Professional Peon (she is in Conshohocken Pa but has relatives in Cinnaminson.) That is all I know.
Dude you're not far away, I mean I am in Manhatten once a week at least for work. We just got done doing some work in the D&D building on 3rd, the architects and designers building.
I'm thinking Ubercon Northeast US is gotta happen sometime.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-06-24 14:27:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2005-06-24 11:54:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
" Colonel Walter E. Kurtz: I watched a snail crawl along the edge of a straight razor. That's my dream. That's my nightmare. Crawling, slithering, along the edge of a straight... razor... and surviving. "
All of Brando's lines are improved at the end of Apocolypse Now. He didn't come prepared to shoot the film and acted like he could give a fuck about being there. Then they start rolling and he just spouts off all this crazy shit. They cut it all together in the studio and Kurt becomes a legend.
There's a great documentary called Hearts Of Darkness that, I think, Copolla's daughter or wife shot during filming. If you're a fan of this film it's an absolute must see. It's extremely candid and you'll definetly look at Brando's performance in a different light after you see it.
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Not only that but, Sheen's scene in the hotel room where he gets drunk and does the karate stuff and breaks the mirror all real action. The story goes, i believe, he was drunk in his hotel room where they were shooting and just turned on the camera. The producer thought it all so surreal that he used it.
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2005-06-24 13:51:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm disappointed that I have to put these up, as they have YET to be listed:
"I know it's pretty baby, but I didn't take it out for air." - Big Tim, 'Requiem for a Dream'
"Purple in the morning, blue in the afternoon, and orange in the evening. Just like that, one, two, three, four." - Sara Goldfarb, 'Requiem for a Dream'
Enid: I was wearing that dress when I lost my virginity.
some lady: Why do I care?
Enid: Well, why do you want it? I mean, it would look stupid on you anyway.
some lady: God. Fuck you.
- 'Ghost World'
"First of all, Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village, but the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario, it just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants. That's what's so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. What's the point of living if you don't have a dick?" - Donnie, 'Donnie Darko'
"That damn airline better not fuck us on the shingle match. " - Eddie, 'Donnie Darko'
"I'll tell you what he said. He asked me to forcibly insert the Life Line exercise card into my anus." - Kitty Farmer, 'Donnie Darko'
"Hi. How are you? My name's Elliot, and I'm with the Cub Scouts of America. We're... we're selling uncut cocaine to get to the jamboree." - Elliot, 'True Romance'
Clifford Worley: You're Sicilian, huh?
Coccotti: Yeah, Sicilian.
Clifford Worley: Ya know, I read a lot. Especially about things... about history. I find that shit fascinating. Here's a fact I don't know whether you know or not. Sicilians were spawned by niggers.
Coccotti: Come again?
Clifford Worley: It's a fact. Yeah. You see, uh, Sicilians have, uh, black blood pumpin' through their hearts. Hey, no, if eh, if eh, if you don't believe me, uh, you can look it up. Hundreds and hundreds of years ago, uh, you see, uh, the Moors conquered Sicily. And the Moors are niggers.
- 'True Romance'
Murphy: All right. Get your stupid fuckin' rope.
Connor: I'll get my stupid rope. I'll get it. There's a rope right there.
- 'Boondock Saints'
"So you're telling me it was one guy with six guns, and he was a senior frigging citizen?" - Paul Smecker, 'Boondock Saints'
FUCK.. 'The Boondock Saints'.. The ENTIRE movie
"Brave Sir Robin ran away, bravely ran away away. When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled. Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about, and valiantly, he chickened out. Bravely taking to his feet, he beat a very brave retreat. A brave retreat by brave Sir Robin." - Minstrel, 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail'
"I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries." - French soldier, 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail'
'Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail'.. The ENTIRE movie
I realize that there are a lot of quotes here, but I didn't want them left out. I'm sure I'll return with more. I f-ing love quotes... movies, in general, that is.
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-06-24 13:11:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-06-24 07:03:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2005-06-23 23:45:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
where in south jersey? im in delran
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seriously? I am in Cinnaminson.
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good to see some jersey folk around here. i'm born and raised in west orange....quite north from cinnaminson and delran, but it's just a turnpike ride away.
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2005-06-24 12:39:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Lucid: improvised, do you mean?
Hearts of Darkness is an awesome documentary...just as good as Apocalypse Now itself. And it takes its name from Joseph Conrad's book "Heart of Darkness" which Apocalypse Now is very loosely based on.
http://www.gradesaver.com/ClassicNotes/Titles/heartofdarkness/shortsumm.html
Submitted by Rainer (user info) at 2005-06-24 12:16:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
NOT ENOUGH TEAM AMERICA OR MONTY PYTHON
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2005-06-24 11:54:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
" Colonel Walter E. Kurtz: I watched a snail crawl along the edge of a straight razor. That's my dream. That's my nightmare. Crawling, slithering, along the edge of a straight... razor... and surviving. "
All of Brando's lines are improved at the end of Apocolypse Now. He didn't come prepared to shoot the film and acted like he could give a fuck about being there. Then they start rolling and he just spouts off all this crazy shit. They cut it all together in the studio and Kurt becomes a legend.
There's a great documentary called Hearts Of Darkness that, I think, Copolla's daughter or wife shot during filming. If you're a fan of this film it's an absolute must see. It's extremely candid and you'll definetly look at Brando's performance in a different light after you see it.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-06-24 07:03:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2005-06-23 23:45:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
where in south jersey? im in delran
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seriously? I am in Cinnaminson.
Submitted by DJ_Schuby (user info) at 2005-06-24 05:21:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
John: What a nutritious lunch. Did your mom marry Mr.Rogers?
Brian: No, actually Mr.Johnson.
-The Breakfast Club
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2005-06-24 04:35:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Colonel Walter E. Kurtz: I watched a snail crawl along the edge of a straight razor. That's my dream. That's my nightmare. Crawling, slithering, along the edge of a straight... razor... and surviving.
Kurtz: I've seen horrors... horrors that you've seen. But you have no right to call me a murderer. You have a right to kill me. You have a right to do that... but you have no right to judge me. It's impossible for words to describe what is necessary to those who do not know what horror means. Horror. Horror has a face... and you must make a friend of horror. Horror and moral terror are your friends. If they are not then they are enemies to be feared. They are truly enemies. I remember when I was with Special Forces. Seems a thousand centuries ago. We went into a camp to inoculate the children. We left the camp after we had inoculated the children for Polio, and this old man came running after us and he was crying. He couldn't see. We went back there and they had come and hacked off every inoculated arm. There they were in a pile. A pile of little arms. And I remember... I... I... I cried. I wept like some grandmother. I wanted to tear my teeth out. I didn't know what I wanted to do. And I want to remember it. I never want to forget it. I never want to forget. And then I realized... like I was shot... like I was shot with a diamond... a diamond bullet right through my forehead. And I thought: My God... the genius of that. The genius. The will to do that. Perfect, genuine, complete, crystalline, pure. And then I realized they were stronger than we. Because they could stand that these were not monsters. These were men... trained cadres. These men who fought with their hearts, who had families, who had children, who were filled with love... but they had the strength... the strength... to do that. If I had ten divisions of those men our troubles here would be over very quickly. You have to have men who are moral... and at the same time who are able to utilize their primordial instincts to kill without feeling... without passion... without judgment... without judgment. Because it's judgment that defeats us.
-Apocalypse Now
Submitted by Squijee (user info) at 2005-06-24 04:19:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Do I have an original thought in my head? My bald head. Maybe if I were happier my hair wouldn't be falling out. Life is short. I need to make the most of it. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I'm a walking cliché. I really need to go to the doctor and have my leg checked. There's something wrong. A bump. The dentist called again. I'm way overdue. If I stop putting things off I would be happier. All I do is sit on my fat ass. If my ass wasn't fat I would be happier. I wouldn't have to wear these shirts with the tails out all the time. Like that's fooling anyone. Fat ass. I should start jogging again. Five miles a day. Really do it this time. Maybe rock climbing. I need to turn my life around. What do I need to do? I need to fall in love. I need to have a girlfriend. I need to read more and prove myself. What if I learned Russian or something, or took up an instrument. I could speak Chinese. I'd be the screenwriter who speaks Chinese and plays the oboe. That would be cool. I should get my hair cut short. Stop trying to fool myself and everyone else into thinking I have a full head of hair. How pathetic is that. Just be real. Confident. Isn't that what women are attracted to? Men don't have to be attractive. But that's not true. Especially these days. Almost as much pressure on men as there is on women these days. Why should I be made to feel I have to apologize for my existence? Maybe it's my brain chemistry. Maybe that's what's wrong with me. Bad chemistry. All my problems and anxiety can be reduced to a chemical imbalance or some kind of misfiring synapses. I need to get help for that. But I'll still be ugly though. Nothing's going to change that." - Charlie Kaufman, Adaptation
Commissioner Gordon: It could be any one of them... But which one? Which ones?
Batman: Pretty *fishy* what happened to me on that ladder...
Commissioner Gordon: You mean where there's a fish there could be a penguin?
Robin: But wait! It happened at sea... Sea. C for Catwoman!
Batman: Yet, an exploding shark *was* pulling my leg...
Commissioner Gordon: The Joker!
Chief O'Hara: All adds up to a sinister riddle... Riddle-R. Riddler!
Commissioner Gordon: A thought strikes me... So dreadful I scarcely dare give it utterance...
Batman: The four of them... Their forces combined...
Robin: Holy nightmare!
- Batman: The Movie
"Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?" - Rob Gordon, High Fidelity
Royal Tenenbaum: I've always been considered an asshole for about as long as I can remember. That's just my style. But I'd really feel blue if I didn't think you were going to forgive me.
Henry Sherman: I don't think you're an asshole, Royal. I just think you're kind of a son of a bitch.
Royal Tenenbaum: Well, I really appreciate that.
- The Royal Tenenbaums
Herman Blume: What's the secret, Max?
Max Fischer: The secret?
Herman Blume: Yeah, you seem to have it pretty figured out.
Max Fischer: The secret, I don't know... I guess you've just gotta find something you love to do and then... do it for the rest of your life. For me, it's going to Rushmore.
- Rushmore
"I have just narrowly avoided having a buggering, and have come in here with the express intention of wishing one upon you." - I, Withnail and I
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2005-06-24 01:32:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Naga... naga... not gonna work here anymore.
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2005-06-23 23:45:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-06-22 15:54:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
fudge - thanks, I dig movies and me and my buddies we quote them all the time.
"I'm not gonna drain you completely. You're gonna turn for me. You'll be my slave. You'll live for me. You'll eat bugs because I order it. Why? Because I don't think you're worthy of human blood. You'll feed on the blood of stray dogs. You'll be my foot stool. And at my command, you'll lick the dog shit from my boot heel. Since you'll be my dog, your new name will be "Spot". Welcome to slavery."
That one is probably easy.
I'm in South Jersey, trying to get together with Totally_Useless you should come with.
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where in south jersey? im in delran
Submitted by A-Daamage (user info) at 2005-06-23 22:56:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Chillax (user info) at 2005-06-22 16:01:50 (#)
Ranking: 1
*get's fried by electric chair*
"Is that all you got...pansies..."
*fried*
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Sin City. Marv. That movie fuckin rocked.
How about this one:
"Teacher says real beauty is on the inside." "Oh, well that's just something ugly people say."
Submitted by A-Daamage (user info) at 2005-06-23 22:41:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Missed the greatest movie quote of all time:
"So, Lonestar, now you see that evil will always triumph, because good is dumb." - Dark Helmet, Spaceballs
Then there's this gem from American Psycho:
"I'm sorry, it's just... you're not terribly important to me." - Patrick Batemen to his extremely soon-to-be ex-girlfriend
And finally from the Prophecy:
"It's a big universe, Jerry. Some of it is talking monkey work; monkeys... like you." - Gabriel
"Do you know how you got that dent in your top lip? Way back, before you were born, I told you a secret. Then, I put my finger there, and I said, 'shhh'." - Gabriel
"I can lay you out and fill your mouth with your mother's feces... or we can talk." - Lucifer
"I love you, I love you more than Jesus..." - Lucifer (blood dripping from his mouth)
"Little Tommy Dagget; how I loved listening to your prayers at night, and then you'd jump into bed, so afraid that I was under there... and I was!" - Lucifer
Submitted by Amusingly_shaped_semen_stain (user info) at 2005-06-23 22:11:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
'get busy living, ot get busy dying'
-the shawshank redemption
'Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Cry, and you cry alone'
-oldboy
Submitted by Nancypants (user info) at 2005-06-23 20:51:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-06-23 20:39:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
YAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWN
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-06-23 17:55:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"I had to kill Bob Morton because he made a mistake. Now it's time to erase that mistake."
"PUT...THAT COFFEE...DOWN."
"They BUILD jails coz of me!"
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2005-06-23 17:41:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"I'm champaigne" - Jon Lovitz, Happiness(1998)
Submitted by Papercuts (user info) at 2005-06-23 15:51:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fudgepacker = Wannabe Film Connesiurieuor
I think I spelled that right.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2005-06-23 15:25:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
who cares?
moo
Submitted by Garrik (user info) at 2005-06-23 14:33:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"Get busy living or get busy dyin'"
Submitted by DarthAwesome (user info) at 2005-06-23 13:31:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"I love the smell of napalm in the morning... Ya know, that gasoline smell... It smells like... victory."
Mmmmmm, Apocalypse Now
Submitted by yabbo (user info) at 2005-06-23 12:28:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How can we have movie quotes without any Rodney Dangerfield
"Oh, this is the worst-looking hat I ever saw. What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh? Oh, it looks good on you though. "
"Oh, this your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey baby, you must've been something before electricity."
"You're a lot of woman, you know that? Yeah, wanna make 14 dollars the hard way?"
"I dedicate this building... to me"
"What's a hot tub without bubbles? Hey bubbles get in here"
"Teacher: How would you characterize "The Great Gatsby"? Rodney: "GREAT!"
"I am here to spread Joy, tell when you find her."
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-06-23 12:19:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hartment?
hartman.
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-06-23 12:17:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Gunnery Sergeant Hartment might be the greatest and most quotable character ever:
"Then quit, you slimy fucking walrus-looking piece of shit. Get the fuck off of my obstacle. Get the fuck down off of my obstacle. Now. Move it. I'm going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world. I will motivate you, Private Pyle, if it short-dicks every cannibal on the Congo."
"Hell, I like you, you can come over to my house and fuck my sister........You little scumbag! I got your name, I got your ass! You will not laugh, you will not cry, you will learn by the numbers, I will teach you! Now get up off your face! Pvt. Joker you better unfuck yourself before I unscrew your head and shit down your neck!"
"Oh that's right, Private Pyle, don't make any fucking effort to get to the top of the fucking obstacle. If God would have wanted you up there he would have miracled your ass up there by now, wouldn't he?"
"I'll bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddam common courtesy to give him a reach-around."
"Private Pyle I'm gonna give you three seconds; exactly three-fucking-seconds to wipe that stupid looking grin off your face or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull-fuck you!"
"You had best square your ass away and start shitting me Tiffany cufflinks or I will definitely fuck you up."
"You will give your rifle a girl's name because this is the only pussy you people are going to get. Your days of finger-banging ol' Mary J. Rottencrotch through her pertty pink panties are over!"
"Holy dog shit. Texas? Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy. And you don't look much like a steer to me so that kinda narrows it down. Do you suck dicks?"
"You're so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece."
"I don't like the name Lawrence, only faggots and sailors are called Lawrence. From now on you're Gomer Pyle."
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Are you allowed to eat jelly doughnuts, Private Pyle?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, no, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: And why not, Private Pyle?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, because I'm too heavy, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Because you are a disgusting fat body, Private Pyle!
simply awesome
Submitted by transformer (user info) at 2005-06-23 12:16:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
All those quotes and movies you seem to enjoy are shit. That's why they didn't make the list. Because they are just shit.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-06-23 12:11:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Any of you homos touch my stuff? I'll kill ya.
Any of you homos touch me? I'll kill ya."
-Stripes
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2005-06-23 11:58:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-06-23 11:38:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
wookie - Apocolypse Now is one of the most quotable movies ever.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Without a doubt.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-06-23 11:38:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fudge - we watch Christmas Vacation every year as a ritual.
wookie - Apocolypse Now is one of the most quotable movies ever.
"Well hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things: Jack and shit... and Jack just left town."
this one is easy someone else already quoted the movie.
Submitted by Obi-wan (user info) at 2005-06-23 11:04:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2005-06-23 10:02:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by bigbabylons (user info) at 2005-06-23 04:59:13 (#)
Ranking: 0
If you hold back anything, I'll kill ya. If you bend the truth or I think your bending the truth, I'll kill ya. If you forget anything I'll kill ya. In fact, you're gonna have to work very hard to stay alive, Nick. Now do you understand everything I've said? Because if you don't, I'll kill ya.
Pussy, pussy, pussy! All pussy must go. At the Titty Twister we're slashing pussy in half! This is a pussy blow out! Make us an offer on our vast selection of pussy! We got white pussy, black pussy, Spanish pussy, yellow pussy, hot pussy, cold pussy, wet pussy, tight pussy, big pussy, bloody pussy, fat pussy, hairy pussy, smelly pussy, velvet pussy, silk pussy, Naugahyde pussy, snappin' pussy, horse pussy, dog pussy, chicken pussy, fake pussy! If we don't have it, you don't want it!
Turkish: Fuck me, hold tight. What's that?
Tommy: It's me belt, Turkish.
Turkish: No, Tommy. There's a gun in your trousers. What's a gun doing in your trousers?
Tommy: It's for protection.
Turkish: Protection from what? "Zee Germans"?
To name but a few
-------------------------
Tarentino(sp?) is the fucking man, those are 3 funny fucking movies.
Lock Stock
From Dusk Till Dawn
Snatch
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tarentino had nothing to do with Lock Stock and Snatch
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-06-23 10:42:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I love this gem:
Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2005-06-23 10:02:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by bigbabylons (user info) at 2005-06-23 04:59:13 (#)
Ranking: 0
If you hold back anything, I'll kill ya. If you bend the truth or I think your bending the truth, I'll kill ya. If you forget anything I'll kill ya. In fact, you're gonna have to work very hard to stay alive, Nick. Now do you understand everything I've said? Because if you don't, I'll kill ya.
Pussy, pussy, pussy! All pussy must go. At the Titty Twister we're slashing pussy in half! This is a pussy blow out! Make us an offer on our vast selection of pussy! We got white pussy, black pussy, Spanish pussy, yellow pussy, hot pussy, cold pussy, wet pussy, tight pussy, big pussy, bloody pussy, fat pussy, hairy pussy, smelly pussy, velvet pussy, silk pussy, Naugahyde pussy, snappin' pussy, horse pussy, dog pussy, chicken pussy, fake pussy! If we don't have it, you don't want it!
Turkish: Fuck me, hold tight. What's that?
Tommy: It's me belt, Turkish.
Turkish: No, Tommy. There's a gun in your trousers. What's a gun doing in your trousers?
Tommy: It's for protection.
Turkish: Protection from what? "Zee Germans"?
To name but a few
-------------------------
Tarentino(sp?) is the fucking man, those are 3 funny fucking movies.
Lock Stock
From Dusk Till Dawn
Snatch
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2005-06-23 09:52:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
English, motherfucker! Do you speak it?! - Pulp Fiction
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2005-06-23 09:46:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"'Never get out of the boat.' Absolutely goddamn right. Unless you were going all the way. Kurtz got off the boat. He split from the whole fucking program."
Submitted by GroundHogSlayer (user info) at 2005-06-23 09:28:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"...are you kidding? They'll never go for it. Then again, they might. Little red devils, they love toys. May i try one?"
"Stay on the bomb run boys. I'm gonna get those bomb doors open if it hair-lips everyone on Bear Creek."
"I'm shocked. Shocked to find gambling going on in here."
-Your roulette winnings sir.
"Oh thank you."
----
name the movies
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2005-06-23 09:21:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."
Shit film - Billy Madison - 1995
Submitted by RkaDk2 (user info) at 2005-06-23 08:10:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"Good, bad, I'm the guy with gun." Ash, Army of Darkness
Submitted by missflibble (user info) at 2005-06-23 07:22:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"hows that for a slice of fried gold?" shaun of the dead
"Ed: Any zombies out there?
Shaun: Don't say that!
Ed: What?
Shaun: That!
Ed: What?
Shaun: The "zed" word. Don't say it!
Ed: Why not?
Shaun: Because it's ridiculous!
Ed: Well... are they any?
Shaun: [looking out the door mail slot, sees an empty street] I don't see any. Maybe it's not as bad as all that.
Shaun: [turns his head, sees a pack of zombies] Oh, no, wait, there they are. " shaun of the dead
"Shaun: [about Ed] He's not my boyfriend!
Ed: [handing beer to Shaun] It might be a bit warm, the cooler was off.
Shaun: Thanks babe. " shaun of the dead
anybody seeing a trend here???
Submitted by midas_child (user info) at 2005-06-23 05:59:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Cage: "I'll try my best"
Connery: "Your best!? Losers always moan about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen!"
Cage: "Carla was the prom queen."
Submitted by missflibble (user info) at 2005-06-23 05:45:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
'd'ya like dags?' brad pitt as a pikie in snatch.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-06-23 05:12:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Bit me directly in the buttocks, sir."
Forrest Gump
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2005-06-23 05:07:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"The greatest trick the devil ever played was convincing the world that he didn't exist"
-The Usual Suspects
Submitted by XFile (user info) at 2005-06-23 05:03:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Wrrraaguuuaaaaarghwaaaaaaaaaaruargh!"
- Random Anime quote.
Submitted by bigbabylons (user info) at 2005-06-23 04:59:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you hold back anything, I'll kill ya. If you bend the truth or I think your bending the truth, I'll kill ya. If you forget anything I'll kill ya. In fact, you're gonna have to work very hard to stay alive, Nick. Now do you understand everything I've said? Because if you don't, I'll kill ya.
Pussy, pussy, pussy! All pussy must go. At the Titty Twister we're slashing pussy in half! This is a pussy blow out! Make us an offer on our vast selection of pussy! We got white pussy, black pussy, Spanish pussy, yellow pussy, hot pussy, cold pussy, wet pussy, tight pussy, big pussy, bloody pussy, fat pussy, hairy pussy, smelly pussy, velvet pussy, silk pussy, Naugahyde pussy, snappin' pussy, horse pussy, dog pussy, chicken pussy, fake pussy! If we don't have it, you don't want it!
Turkish: Fuck me, hold tight. What's that?
Tommy: It's me belt, Turkish.
Turkish: No, Tommy. There's a gun in your trousers. What's a gun doing in your trousers?
Tommy: It's for protection.
Turkish: Protection from what? "Zee Germans"?
To name but a few
Submitted by Chillax (user info) at 2005-06-23 04:56:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2005-06-22 23:32:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
"I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast!"
'you eat peices of shit for breakfast?'
"... No."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That line kicks ass.
Also;
*bang*
Slightly irritated tone - "Aw man...I just shot Marv in the face.."
Submitted by fried-green-potatoes (user info) at 2005-06-23 01:03:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"Who needs reasons when you've got heroin?"
======
My personal fave. Name it.
----
Mark Renton in "Trainspotting"
Submitted by BongZilla (user info) at 2005-06-23 00:04:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
bitch, get off my kool-aid.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/9219
-BongZilla
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2005-06-22 23:32:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast!"
'you eat peices of shit for breakfast?'
"... No."
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2005-06-22 23:14:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fairly obvious but still good:
"Go ahead, make my day." -Clint Eastwood
"You talking to me?" - Robert de Niro
"May the Force be with you." (Star Wars)
Older but equally good:
"I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore!" - Peter Finch in Network
"I'm walking here! I'm walking here!" Dustin Hoffman in Midnight Cowboy
"Stella! HEY STELLA!" Marlon Brando in "A Streetcar Named Desire" 1951
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2005-06-22 22:27:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television. Choose washing machines, cars, compact disk players and electric teller accounts. Choose good health, low cholestrol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a stunt double. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suit on higher purchase fucking fabrics. Choose D.Y.I. and wonder where you are on Sunday morning. Choose sitting on a couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows stuffing fucking junk food in your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable hole, nothing more then an embarassement to the selfish, fucked-up brats that you've spawned to replace yourselves. Choose your future. Choose life."
"But why would I want to do a think like that?"
"I chose not to choose life. I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons."
"Who needs reasons when you've got heroin?"
======
My personal fave. Name it.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-06-22 22:26:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jimmie: Did you see a sign out in front of my house that said Dead Nigger Storage?
Jules: No. I didn't.
Jimmie: You know WHY you didn't see that sign?
Jules: Why?
Jimmie: 'Cause it ain't there, 'cause storing dead niggers ain't my fucking business, that's why!
- Pulp Fiction, 1994
=====
Good lines, but this one was terrible acting, from Tanrintino. Especially the part where he fails to talk about his coffee.
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2005-06-22 22:03:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"It takes a lot of sand to be a turtledove." -Gangs of New York, 2004
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-06-22 21:59:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"Fuckum in the butt till it burns"......no movie, just: (user info)
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2005-06-22 21:54:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fudge,
My tribute to Super Troopers:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/17036
nice post
Submitted by XII (user info) at 2005-06-22 20:48:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
'Full Metal Jacket entire script' Full Metal Jacket, 1987
Submitted by SiskelandFatboy (user info) at 2005-06-22 20:32:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-06-22 15:16:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
You're going to need a bigger boat.
-------------
I seem to always have that song in my head for days after watching Jaws.
"You go in the cage? Cage goes in the water? You go in the water? Shark's in the water, our shark?
"Fairwell and adieu to you fair spanish ladies,
Fairwell and adieu dear ladies of Spain.
For we've received orders, were to sail back to Boston,
And so nevermore shall we see you again."
Submitted by XFile (user info) at 2005-06-22 20:22:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That is, AFI's list.
Submitted by XFile (user info) at 2005-06-22 20:22:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That list sucked, most of it was ripped from the Simpsons!
Submitted by Technoboy (user info) at 2005-06-22 19:20:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Brick Top - "Go and put the kettle on"
Turkish - "Do you take sugar?"
Brick Top - "No thank you Turkish, I'm sweet enough"
Avi - "Give me a name"
Sol - "Boris"
Bullet Tooth Tony - "Boris the Blade?"
Sol - "Yeah"
Tony - "As in Boris the Bullet Dodger?"
[Sol Nods]
Avi - "Why do they call him the Bullet Dodger?"
Tony - "Because he dodges bullets Avi"
Tommy -"Are you saying I can't shoot?"
Turkish - "Oh, no Tommy. I wasn't saying you can't shoot. I know you can't shoot. What I was saying is that 6 pound piece of shit stuck in your trousers would do more damage if yoou fed it to him"
Submitted by fried-green-potatoes (user info) at 2005-06-22 18:53:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Forget it, Jake...it's Chinatown.
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2005-06-22 16:53:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"The question you gotta ask yourself is, do I feel lucky. Well, do ya, PUNK!!??"--Dirty Harry
"One day a REAL rain will come and wash all the trash off the street." Travis Bickle-Taxi Driver
Submitted by Vix (user info) at 2005-06-22 16:48:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-06-22 16:40:22 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-06-22 16:26:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
"We gotta win that fight. I'm gonna get EVEN with those little Socias! Let's do it for Johnny, man. We're gonna do for Johnny! "
-------
dude..... the outsiders might have the greatest ensemble cast ever. you had patrick swayze, rob lowe, tom cruise, matt dillon, ralph macchio, emilio 'i haven't done a decent movie since the mighty ducks and that was kind of crap so i'm just up shits creek without a paddle' estevez .....and, of course, C. Thomas howell.
awesome movie.
---------
"Look at thier pants, what are they waiting for a flood?"
ahaha, the Outsiders kicks ass!!!
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-06-22 16:40:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-06-22 16:26:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
"We gotta win that fight. I'm gonna get EVEN with those little Socias! Let's do it for Johnny, man. We're gonna do for Johnny! "
-------
dude..... the outsiders might have the greatest ensemble cast ever. you had patrick swayze, rob lowe, tom cruise, matt dillon, ralph macchio, emilio 'i haven't done a decent movie since the mighty ducks and that was kind of crap so i'm just up shits creek without a paddle' estevez .....and, of course, C. Thomas howell.
awesome movie.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-06-22 16:32:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Great Spirit, Maker of All Life. A warrior goes to you swift and straight as an arrow shot into the sun. Welcome him and let him take his place at the council fire of my people. He is Uncas, my son. Tell them to be patient and ask death for speed; for they are all there but one - I, Chingachgook"
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2005-06-22 16:32:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
[while holding a razor to Jackie Boy's face]
Dwight: I'm Shellie's new boyfriend and I'm out of my mind. If you so much as talk to her or even think her name, I'll cut you in ways that'll make you useless to a woman.
Jack Rafferty: You're making a big mistake, man. A *big* mistake.
Dwight: You made a big mistake yourself ... you didn't flush.
[Dwight shoves Jackie Boy's head into a toilet filled with urine]
Marv: I love hitmen. No matter what you do to them, you don't feel bad.
[a grenade lands at his feet]
Dwight: And everything seemed to be going so well.
Cardinal Roark: Will that bring you satisfaction, my son? Killing a helpless, old fart?
Marv: Killing? No. No satisfaction. Everything up until the killing, will be a gas.
Marv: [at his own execution] Would you hurry it up? I haven't got all night.
Dwight: She doesn't quite chop his head off. She makes a Pez dispenser out of him.
Stuka: [after getting shot with an arrow] Hey ... Will ya look at that? It's right through me. Guys, look. It's cut a hole right through me.
Schutz: There's something wrapped around it. Some kind of note.
Manute: Give it to me.
Stuka: Guys, this is starting to really hurt. Just look at it. It's poked a hole right through me. Guys?
Manute: [reading the note] McCarthy, you fool.
Stuka: Guys, don't you think maybe somebody oughta call a doctor for me or something? This isn't the kind of thing you just ignore, guys.
Manute: Out back. Everyone. Bring the women.
Stuka: Guys?
Cop: There's no sign of him!
Marv: Here's a sign!
[hits cop in groin with hatchet]
Dwight: It's your apartment. But be careful, Shellie, this clown's got big, mean drunk-on and he's got four friends out there in the hall, breathing hard and just as drunk as he is.
Jack Rafferty: Hey, I could swear I heard somebody in there with you, just now. You got somebody with you, baby? You be honest with me. You owe me that much.
Shellie: Somebody? Jackie Boy, it's a regular African love-fest in here. I got me all five starters and half the bench of the Basin City Blues keeping me company. You feel like taking them on?
Jack Rafferty: You're teasing me, baby. I'm no racist.
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2005-06-22 16:30:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ps- you got this quote wrong:
---
Elsa: [Kisses Indy] Zat's how Austrians say goodbye.
Vogel: Und zis is how ve zay goodbye in Germany, Dr. Jones.
[Punches Indy]
Indiana Jones: I liked the Austrian way better.
Henry Jones: So did I.
- Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, 1989
---
It was actually:
---
Elsa: [Kisses Indy] Zat's how Austrians say goodbye.
Vogel: Und zis is how ve zay goodbye in Germany, Dr. Jones.
[Punches Indy]
Indiana Jones: I liked the Austrian way better.
Henry Jones: Sho did I.
- Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, 1989
---
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2005-06-22 16:29:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pretty nice. Not what I would have chosen, but then there are millions of great lines. How about this beaut!
---
"You're so beautiful"
"It's because I'm in love"
"No" <laughs> "It's because I'm in love with you"
---
GEORGE LUCAS CANNOT WRITE LOVE LINES FOR SHIT
He should written it more like this:
---
"You're so beautiful"
"It's bec-"
"Fucking bitch, shut up and suck my dick! Ooh yeah, ooh yeah, like that, like that, you dirty ho"
"Gasp! Master Anakin!"
"C3PO! I didn't know you'd be here so early!"
"Master Anakin, I thought I was your only ejaculate-recepticle!"
"It's cum bucket, you rusty cunt! Now shove your fist up my ass while I bone Padme!"
---
Now *that* I would have voted for (despite not being able to watch it).
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2005-06-22 16:28:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Vix (user info) at 2005-06-22 16:24:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
Dean Murdoch: As it stands Plan B is to just keep on Given'r.
Farrel Mitchener: Giving it to her?
Dean Murdoch: No given'r
Farrel Mitchener: Can you maybe explain given'r? What exactly does that mean?
Dean Murdoch: Give'r. You just go out and you give'r. You keep on working hard.
Farrel Mitchener: Is that a plan?
Dean Murdoch: Yeah that's a plan right there.
Turn up the good, turn down the suck!
-----------------------
FUCKIN' GIVER
FUBAR BABY
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-06-22 16:26:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ha ha Boogie Nights was just on the other day!
"We gotta win that fight. I'm gonna get EVEN with those little Socias! Let's do it for Johnny, man. We're gonna do for Johnny! "
that is probably too easy with the names and all.
morontain - you go the From dusk til dawn one Santanico Pandemonia
Submitted by Vix (user info) at 2005-06-22 16:24:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dean Murdoch: As it stands Plan B is to just keep on Given'r.
Farrel Mitchener: Giving it to her?
Dean Murdoch: No given'r
Farrel Mitchener: Can you maybe explain given'r? What exactly does that mean?
Dean Murdoch: Give'r. You just go out and you give'r. You keep on working hard.
Farrel Mitchener: Is that a plan?
Dean Murdoch: Yeah that's a plan right there.
Turn up the good, turn down the suck!
Submitted by morontian (user info) at 2005-06-22 16:05:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"From Dusk Till Dawn" but I have no clue to the "jerking-off" quote.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-06-22 16:05:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"COCK GOBBLING THUNDER CUNT!"
-the guy who played van wilder, in Blade Trinity
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-06-22 16:04:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good shit.
never can have enough anchorman quotes.
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-06-22 16:03:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-06-22 16:01:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
"Time sure flies when you're young and jerking off"
---------
basketball diaries. yet another awesome flick.
how about this: "I'm the ultimate Latin Lover. There ain't no Latin Lover like me."
Submitted by Chillax (user info) at 2005-06-22 16:01:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
*get's fried by electric chair*
"Is that all you got...pansies..."
*fried*
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-06-22 16:01:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Time sure flies when you're young and jerking off"
Come on you'll get this one.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-06-22 15:58:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
" Your not going anywhere ya thick lump, ya stay till the jobs done"
Say it in Pikey accent.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2005-06-22 15:58:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Say hello to most heated.
Submitted by yabbo (user info) at 2005-06-22 15:56:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by LiquidPaper (user info) at 2005-06-22 15:26:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
"Suck my balls"
name that movie
South Park the movie
Cartman to Mr Garrison
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-06-22 15:54:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fudge - thanks, I dig movies and me and my buddies we quote them all the time.
"I'm not gonna drain you completely. You're gonna turn for me. You'll be my slave. You'll live for me. You'll eat bugs because I order it. Why? Because I don't think you're worthy of human blood. You'll feed on the blood of stray dogs. You'll be my foot stool. And at my command, you'll lick the dog shit from my boot heel. Since you'll be my dog, your new name will be "Spot". Welcome to slavery."
That one is probably easy.
I'm in South Jersey, trying to get together with Totally_Useless you should come with.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-06-22 15:53:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fenster: I don't know anything about no fuckin' truck.
Cop: Oh, yeah? Well, your friend McManus told us a different story altogether.
Fenster: Oh, is that the one about the hooker with the dysentery?
God do I love Fenster.
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2005-06-22 15:52:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You want a Rolls-Royce, you don't come here, no no. You go to England, or wherever the fuck they make it. If you want champagne, you go see the French. If you need money, you find a Jew. But, if you want dirt, or scum buried under a rock somewhere, or some secret nobody wants anybody to know about, there's only one place to go: right here, Hell's Kitchen. It is the lost and found of shit. They lose it and we find it. Forget about it, man.
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-06-22 15:48:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
badassmofo.....you're good with the quotes, man. we'd probably get along well.
and you were quoting "Princess Bride"
Wallace Shawn is a pimp.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-06-22 15:46:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Peter Gibbons: What would you do if you had a million dollars?
Lawrence: I'll tell you what I'd do, man, two chicks at the same time, man.
Peter Gibbons: That's it? If you had a million dollars, you'd do two chicks at the same time?
Lawrence: Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I had a million dollars I could hook that up, cause chicks dig a dude with money.
Peter Gibbons: Well, not all chicks.
Lawrence: Well the kind of chicks that'd double up on a dude like me do.
Peter Gibbons: Good point.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-06-22 15:43:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Am I going MAD, or did the word "think" escape your lips? You were not hired for your brains, you hippopotamic land mass. "
+2 for the correct guess.
Submitted by Vix (user info) at 2005-06-22 15:43:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is the greatest one from office space
Samir: No one in this country can ever pronounce my name right. It's not that hard: Samir Na-gheen-an-a-jar. Nagheenanajar.
Michael Bolton: Yeah, well at least your name isn't Michael Bolton.
Samir: You know there's nothing wrong with that name.
Michael Bolton: There was nothing wrong with it... until I was about 12 years old and that no-talent ass clown became famous and started winning Grammys.
Samir: Hmm... well why don't you just go by Mike instead of Michael?
Michael Bolton: No way. Why should I change? He's the one who sucks
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-06-22 15:40:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Coach: Hear me good, you pissant! Because I'm only going to tell you one more time.
Lucas: Don't you call me that! Don't you call me a pissant you dumb fucking jock!
Coach: What'd you say?
Lucas: You heard me, pencil-brain! I mean, who are we kidding here, who is the pissant? The second-rate coach of a third rate team or me?
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2005-06-22 15:39:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND" Tony Montana, Scarface
"Listen kid, I'm not gonna bullshit you, all right? I don't give a good fuck what you know, or don't know, but I'm gonna torture you anyway, regardless. Not to get information. It's amusing, to me, to torture a cop. You can say anything you want cause I've heard it all before. All you can do is pray for a quick death, which you ain't gonna get." Mr. Blonde, Resevoir Dogs
Submitted by corporate_drone0723 (user info) at 2005-06-22 15:37:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dirka dirka Mohamad Ali jihad.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-06-22 15:35:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jimmie: Did you see a sign out in front of my house that said Dead Nigger Storage?
Jules: No. I didn't.
Jimmie: You know WHY you didn't see that sign?
Jules: Why?
Jimmie: 'Cause it ain't there, 'cause storing dead niggers ain't my fucking business, that's why!
- Pulp Fiction, 1994
Jules: They don't call it a Quarter-Pounder with Cheese?
Vincent: Nahh, man, they got the metric system, they wouldn't know what the fuck a quarter-pounder is. They call it...a, a Royale with cheese.
Jules: a Royale with Cheese!
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-06-22 15:33:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Man I love movie quotes
"I reserve the right, as a consumer" Falling Down
"The choice between doing ten years and taking out some stupid motherfucker, ain't no choice at all. But I ain't no madman. " Resevior Dogs, Mr.White
"If I say its safe to surf this beach Captain, then its safe to surf this beach. I mean I'm not afraid to surf this place, I'll surf this whole fucking place! / Charlie don't surf" Apocolypose Now
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-06-22 15:30:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BobLobla: Boondock Saints
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-06-22 15:30:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bob...too easy....Boondock Saints. One of my all-time favorites
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2005-06-22 15:27:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by LiquidPaper (user info) at 2005-06-22 15:26:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
"Suck my balls"
name that movie
--------------
Debbie Does Dallas??
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-06-22 15:27:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by LiquidPaper (user info) at 2005-06-22 15:26:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
"Suck my balls"
name that movie
---
The end of the 'uncle fucker' song in South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-06-22 15:25:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
Shame on you for forgetting Goodfellas!
----
Lucy, darling, bubby.....look again. Goodfellas is there.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-06-22 15:27:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shame on me for not being able to read!
At first, I was like, "That quote isn't from 'The Godfather.'"
Now when I look back, I realize I was just being an illiterate moron.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2005-06-22 15:26:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses. -- Dan Aykroyd (The Blues Brothers)
Lois: How would you like it if I made your life a living hell?
Ace: Well, Lois, I'm not quite ready for a relationship right now, but maybe I'll give you a call sometime. Your number still 911? -- Jim Carey(sp?) Ace Ventura Pet Detective
Your father and I used him three times in twenty years, only when things got totally fucked. Whenever we needed one of our own bumped off, we called this guy in. He had a thing for clipping wiseguys, but only one rule: No women, no kids. Believe me, kid, you don't want this guy unless you are one hundred percent sure you need him. He's a fucking monster.
Plus 2's to whoever can tell me what the last quote is from.
Submitted by LiquidPaper (user info) at 2005-06-22 15:26:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Suck my balls"
name that movie
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-06-22 15:25:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shame on you for forgetting Goodfellas!
(Henry) Just... ya know, you're, you're funny.
(Tommy) What do ya mean, funny? Let me understand this cause, I don't know maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh... I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
(Henry) Just...you know how to tell the story, what?
(Tommy) No, no, I don't know... you said it. How do I know? You said I'm funny. How the fuck am I funny, what the fuck is so funny about me? Tell me, tell me what's funny!
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-06-22 15:21:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by alragusa (user info) at 2005-06-22 15:11:57 (#)
Ranking: 1
I literally shit myself.
--------
ew, man.
and also, re: lack of other quotes (more godfather, full metal jacket, etc), this was just a smattering of my favorites. If I was so inclined, I could compile an entire book of quotes. But I have neither the patience nor the time for that.
Jefe: We have stuffed many pinatas for your birthday celebration!
El Guapo: How many pinatas?
Jefe: Many pinatas, many!
El Guapo: Jefe, would you say I have a plethora of pinatas?
Jefe: Yes, El Guapo. You have a plethora.
El Guapo: Jefe, what is a plethora?
- Three Amigos, 1986
Submitted by Deidra (user info) at 2005-06-22 15:21:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You included so many of my favorites!
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-06-22 15:20:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
** Forget about it is like if you agree with someone, you know, like Raquel Welch is one great piece of ass, forget about it. But then, if you disagree, like A Lincoln is better than a Cadillac? Forget about it! you know? But then, it's also like if something's the greatest thing in the world, like mingia those peppers, forget about it. But it's also like saying Go to hell! too. Like, you know, like "Hey Paulie, you got a one inch pecker?" and Paulie says "Forget about it!" Sometimes it just means forget about it. **
Did anyone else happen to notice how some of the people on that show did not exactly how to say this, age well?
It kind of made me want to watch some of the old classics though.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-06-22 15:20:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Some of my favorites...
Dazed and Confused - Obanion: "Slater you fuckin hippie gimme drugs man!" Slater: "Get some from your mother, man!" Obanion: "Yeah, we just bagged YOUR mother!" Slater: "OK, fuck you, dickhead."
Jerry Maguire - the "late great" Dickie Fox: "To be honest with you, in life, I've failed as much as I've succeeded. But I love my wife. I love my life. And I wish you my kind of success."
Super Troopers: Foster: "Your black magic only works on the rookie, Thorn." Thorn: "That's BROWN magic."
Submitted by yabbo (user info) at 2005-06-22 15:19:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-06-22 14:46:03 (#)
Ranking: 1
no full metal jacket?
==============
"Hell I like you, you can over and fuck my sister"
Always makes me laugh
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-06-22 15:19:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
these aren't the droids you're looking for.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-06-22 15:16:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're going to need a bigger boat.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-06-22 15:15:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
There were about a hundred better quotes from fight club.
"I haven't been fucked like that since grade school" and "I want to have your abortion"-Both by Marla
Several rants could make it in there, but my favorite was the whole "you are not your job..."
Submitted by alragusa (user info) at 2005-06-22 15:11:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I literally shit myself.
Greatest EVER!!!
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-06-22 14:56:03 (#)
Ranking: 1
not enough godfather
"leave the gun, take the canoli."
Submitted by morontian (user info) at 2005-06-22 15:11:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yipee-ki-yay motherfucker. Poetry.
And about the bubble gum line, I've heard that in a few movies. That was originally Carpenter's, right?
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-06-22 15:03:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shenanigans is one of the best ever...
But HOW CAN THEY FORGET THIS???
"I'm here to kick some ass and chew bubblegum. And I'm all out of bubblegum."
Hell yes.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-06-22 15:01:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"why do we fall?"
"so we can learn to pick ourselves back up again".
-batman begins (excellent movie)
Submitted by Morlock (user info) at 2005-06-22 14:58:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Well my nuts are halfway up my ass but other than that I'm perfect!"
-Anthony Michael Hall in Wierd Science-
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-06-22 14:56:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
not enough godfather
"leave the gun, take the canoli."
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-06-22 14:51:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude: "This will not stand, this aggression will not stand, Man!"
-Big Lebowski
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-06-22 14:50:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
O'Hagan: I swear to God I'm going to pistol whip the next guy who says, "Shenanigans."
Mac: Hey Farva what's the name of that restaurant you like with all the goofy stuff on the wall and the mozzarella sticks?
Farva: You mean Shenanigans?
Rabbit, Mac: OOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
- Super Troopers, 2001
That has my vote.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-06-22 14:49:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-06-22 14:48:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for Super Troopers quotes!
Submitted by Foonbo (user info) at 2005-06-22 14:47:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Agreed. So many bad lists are made these days.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-22 14:47:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
hahah @ Ferris Bueller's day off.
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-06-22 14:46:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
no full metal jacket?