More decisions I don't want to make: Waking up is hard to do (1776 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.11 on 67 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Ashlee (View user info) at 2005-06-22 16:56:52 EDT
Judge not, lest ye be judged first.
Awhile back, I ran into someone I've known for a long time. He was clearly strung out; he'd lost a good 40 pounds, he was sweating, his eyes seemed to be sinking into his skull. As I watched him look around nervously, I wondered to myself how someone let themselves get that way. I didn't understand how a drug could totally take over someone's life, change the way they act, think, look without them noticing or caring.
That was three years ago. Now it looks like I'm the one with a problem.
I'm not sure how or where or when or why it started. I remember my first hit, my first line, my first drink. It was exciting, dangerous, and new at the time, and now, it's a way of life and the time between then and now is a total blur. I can see flashes, like a strange movie in my mind. I see waking up in a bed that isn't mine... I see me standing outside my house frantically searching for the keys that were in my hand the entire time... I see trips to Club 95, the local hotspot for all things illegal... I see waking up with a bloody nose... I see rails on the bar of a resteraunt I used to work in. I see stumbling into my house at 3 a.m. and then talking to my mom, doing all I can to put forth the impression that I'm sober. I see me saying and doing things, then wondering why on earth I would do so. I hear myself say that it's just a game... I'm not addicted. I can stop whenever I want. I see me distancing myself from people who might keep me from these things and getting closer to the ones who encourage it, the ones who provide it. I see me doing one more bump, one more guy, one more shot, all in hopes that this will be the one that keeps me from thinking about everything. I see me shaking for no reason. I see me spacing out in the middle of doing something. And it's getting worse.
It took a lot of outside influence to make me do it, but I sat down today and actually thought about what's happening to me. I forced myself to confront all the problems I wouldn't admit to, and why I'm doing them, and the only answer I could come up with was because it's easier. Throwing myself into drugs and guys and partying has become a lot easier for me than dealing with my life head-on. Smoking a blunt chases away thoughts of my impending divorce, random sex makes me forget about how totally I've managed to fuck up my life. Being under the influence of something mind-altering isn't as bad as admitting that I'm lonely and scared. On the rare occasions when I'm sober, I don't want to be. I find myself behaving in a way that's just totally crazy, because I'm afraid that if I slow down, the things I'm running from are going to catch up with me. I'm terrified that everything is just going to come crashing down on top of me.
I want my life back. I want to be able to wake up and think clearly, to make intelligent decisions, to feel like I'm in control of my life again. I want something other than that little baggie full of white powder or the dimebag hidden in my closet to be important to me again. I want to not have to drag myself into my room at 6 a.m. because I don't want my mom to find me passed out in the living room floor. I want to just stop, and I wish to God it were that easy. I know I can't do it alone. I made an appointment to see a therapist next week, and there has been talk of me checking into rehab. I'm scared. But I think I'm more scared of where I'll end up if I keep on the way I have been.
User Reviews
Submitted by Phate (user info) at 2005-06-24 03:30:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You can want for anything.
You are the only person that can save yourself from yourself. People can help you if you stumble but you are the only one that can do it.
If you can't do it and turn out to be a junkie, my suggestion is: http://www.ubersite.com/m/69011#1406003
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-06-23 15:27:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dude, you shared a hotel room, it's not her fault you didn't take the chance to enjoy her....
And she sat on Crystle's lap. I have pictorial proof!
Submitted by Viciousriffs (user info) at 2005-06-23 15:18:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ashlee.
I have had the feeling, ever since I found out that you read my post, that you were going to do something that demonstrated a desire to reform and change your life, because you don't want the people on this website to see you as anything but positive and right, making good decisions. You absolutely must stop the charade, right now, if this is the case. I predicted that it would take less than 24 hours for you to have a post up about changing your lifestyle, and it happened. You were the shining example of self-contradiction this past weekend, that isn't a behaviorism that disappears in three days.
That said, I hope you have a more serious attitude to this approach than a group of us believes you to. I have already told you that it is going to take proof for us, but if you actually pull yourself out of this lifestyle that you are in and make helpful adjustments, I will be happy for/proud of you, and I will make sure you know about it.
As for the rehab idea? Desipte what many have said, rehab is a crutch. You may learn from it, and it may assist you, but ultimately, those who go to rehab usually go back. The problem is dependence- you have to be able to prove that you can kick this on your own, and since it has been basically established that you don't have a physical addiction, you need to deal with these problems inside your own mind instead of finding someone to do that for you. Despite the attacks, Filthy was right, if misunderstood by most.
You have not done anything to give me reason to turn my back on you for good, for what that's worth. All three of us want to enjoy you, Ash, but we want you without the drug habit, and the obsessive behavior. You can be better than what you displayed to us, and I think some part of you might even want that.
Let's see which side wins here. The ball's in your court.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-06-23 13:40:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Mistakes like putting 2 N's in planet... those are the mistakes I "normally" make.
I also put "e" before "i" sometimes.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-06-23 13:38:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck off Cookie.
Yes, after two years of anti-depressants, I took it upon myself to come off of them. I also (duh) decided to get drunk. I flipped out.
ONE NIGHT I flipped out. I made a mistake. Everyone involved in that incident is OVER it, except for you, apparently.
Unfortunatly for you, your mistake isn't just one night... it's your whole fucking life.
If you are so jaded and unsympathetic to realize that EVERY SINGLE PERSON ON THIS PLANNET does something incredibly stupid once in a while, you're going to live a bitter and disappointing life.
... oh wait.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-06-23 10:26:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/69135
I wrote this just for you
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-06-23 10:12:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Cookie's little girl fights and bitch contests are fucking pathetic.
Refer to this please: http://www.ubersite.com/m/66204#1325466
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-06-23 09:43:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"I'm saying that because someone who is unstable should avoid unstable situations. "
Oh, the irony of those words coming from Corinne, of all people.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-06-23 08:26:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Yeah, Adam, because having a rep for being a stupid, selfish teenager is like 1000 times worse than having a rep for being a fucking drug addict. Think before you speak, will you?
========================
If your 20 and been married I'd hardly classify you as a teen. This is another copout, trying to blame your behavior on your age.
I did think before I speak.
I've had more experience than I ever care to have on the subject.
Submitted by Didier (user info) at 2005-06-23 08:20:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I know hardcore drug addicts. They are less stupid than you seem to be. Some lead a very normal life, outside of drugs. No drug is responsible for your lack intelligence.
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2005-06-23 08:07:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Drugs wouldn't make you do the things you've done unless you were to an extent that way inclined in the first place. Well, not unless you've got a habit that's so bad that you'd sleep with strangers whilst you had no clue what you were doing due to being out of your head on drugs. I doubt that was the case. Maybe the drugs just gave you the courage to act the way you really are whilst around people that see you in a different light online. Think about it. If you don't like the reaction you've got from people do something about it.
Don't say you want your life back... go and get it.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-06-23 07:18:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Come suck my dick in Atlanta this weekend!
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-06-23 07:09:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
but I think rehab is somewhat of a copout
-----
Yeah, rehab is for quitters (heh he heh, I love that joke). Just remember matey mate that blow is probably not your problem, your emotional baggage is your problem. Almost everything else is purely symptomatic of whatever it is that makes you feel upset, angry, worthless, etc...
You know what the problems are (it's your mind after all), although fixing them will be harder. My advice would be to chill out for 12 months, fall into a deep and dark depression. Once you get through thatm you'll be fine.
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-06-23 04:37:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Right - everyone shut up.
This a mountain out of a mole hill situation, ok so you been on the whizz for a few years, fuck it. If you don't want to do it anymore than stop. Coke is not chemically addictive - only mentally, if you feel 'hooked' then thats because you want to do it, so enjoy the ride, don't fuss, don't hassle people online for sympathy just sit down and make the concious decision to stop drinking-snorting/smoking whatever.
Get a grip on your life, and stop whinging about it. You know deep down that the only person who's going to stop it all is you so don't bother Uber over it.
Some of you Americans are ace. I love some of ya but your whole culture needs to grow up. This isn't the Drama you are making it out to be,
El Fabit O
Submitted by Rasta (user info) at 2005-06-23 03:35:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Cool. Give me a call. I have smoke and I deliver!
Don't listen to schlongy, I'm closer.
You're 20. You have plenty more years to party away.
If you do want to get out of the drug scene, get off this negative board and go out and make new friends. Cool mature ones from the south who missed ubercon.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-23 01:16:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lisa, shut the fuck up you drama slore.
Submitted by Harmless (user info) at 2005-06-23 01:04:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-06-22 21:10:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, most of you guys are total assholes. Granted I don't know what Ashlee has done, but here's someone who (seemingly) wants to climb out of the pit she made for herself and you guys are just being jackasses. Let's take two possible scenarios and apply some logic, kids.
1. Ashlee is lying and trying to save her 'reputation' -- positive, encouraging sentiments have no effect. Negative, discouraging sentiments have no effect, except to give you a feeling of "i sure told her."
2. Ashlee is sincere and wants to change her life -- positive, encouraging sentiments give her confidence and strength to walk on higher ground. Negative, discouraging comments only foster the negativity within her, making it less likely she'll grow into anything other than the person you all seem to despise.
You all bitch and complain about how people are assholes (and you have a point), but when one of those assholes tries to better themselves, you bitch and complain even more. Way to maintain the status quo.
---------------
That's some clear thinking right there. It's like Bacon's or Anselm's or whoever's theory that believing in a god is good because if you believe and are wrong, it doesn't matter and if you believe and are right, you're golden.
So... she likes the drugs eh?
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2005-06-23 00:20:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Now, you're welcome to come to michigan this weekend, but to be perfectly honest, it sounds like it'd be better if you didn't. I'm not saying that because I don't want you to come- I'm saying that because someone who is unstable should avoid unstable situations."
Well, hell. Looks like I'm out. Have a great time, assholes!
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2005-06-22 23:20:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, Adam, because having a rep for being a stupid, selfish teenager is like 1000 times worse than having a rep for being a fucking drug addict. Think before you speak, will you?
I appreciate the supportive comments. They were a lot more helpful than Michelle's pearls of wisdom: "Do the drugs, don't let the drugs do you." I love the girl, but I'm told she's one of those that has to go. This is gonna be tough.
I don't want anyone to think that I'm trying to pin my actions on this thing. While I may not have been thinking clearly, that, too, was my fault. Nobody forced me into this, guys. Every high, every drink, every fuck may not have been my idea, but they were all my choice. I am where I am right now because of me.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-06-22 23:02:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
LadyPlural- The +1 was for me. I loved my comment!
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-06-22 22:45:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Good luck with that.
Growing up is hard to do, especially when you're not really a grown up.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-06-22 22:28:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Wow. I didn't think I'd see Shlongy +1 someone on a post where it could be argued that they just whined (and no, I don't think that Ashlee is just whining- it just seems like it could be read that way if one so desired). Even if the +1 came accompanied by a crude proposition.
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-06-22 22:23:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Haha, Shlongy, you're a doll.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-06-22 21:37:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Before you sober up and straighten out, can we get together just one time for a night of countless lines of blow and some wild , radical sex, including some anal and a facial?
The dope is on me. As long as my jism is on you.
Think about it.
Submitted by Kale (user info) at 2005-06-22 21:35:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Self-Control
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-06-22 21:35:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Rehab will be good. Don't listen to that shithead below. Make sure though that you go to a treatment facility that can treat you holistically (body, mind, spirit), as well as handle the medical disorders associated with the DTs.
Make sure you also continue with your treatment. You will most likely backslide a couple of times, but thats normal.
Good luck.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-06-22 21:29:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Well, I guess your ubercon orlando experience may have opened your eyes. That's probably a hard thing to deal with, too. There was a somewhat similar situation at the Ubercon AC, I do believe... someones problems with drugs caught up with them.
Ashlee, you wont ever get better until you realize that you are NOT A VICTIM.
You are a product of the choices you have made in your life.
It'll feel good once you really truly understand that. When you realize that YOU got yourself here and that you actually have the power to get yourself out, you will feel strong.
***
Now, you're welcome to come to michigan this weekend, but to be perfectly honest, it sounds like it'd be better if you didn't. I'm not saying that because I don't want you to come- I'm saying that because someone who is unstable should avoid unstable situations.
If you are truly committed to GETTING BETTER, you have to make some hard decisions in life. Don't keep waiting for next month, next year, etc... DO IT NOW. Make your life better now.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-06-22 21:10:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, most of you guys are total assholes. Granted I don't know what Ashlee has done, but here's someone who (seemingly) wants to climb out of the pit she made for herself and you guys are just being jackasses. Let's take two possible scenarios and apply some logic, kids.
1. Ashlee is lying and trying to save her 'reputation' -- positive, encouraging sentiments have no effect. Negative, discouraging sentiments have no effect, except to give you a feeling of "i sure told her."
2. Ashlee is sincere and wants to change her life -- positive, encouraging sentiments give her confidence and strength to walk on higher ground. Negative, discouraging comments only foster the negativity within her, making it less likely she'll grow into anything other than the person you all seem to despise.
You all bitch and complain about how people are assholes (and you have a point), but when one of those assholes tries to better themselves, you bitch and complain even more. Way to maintain the status quo.
Submitted by Olas (user info) at 2005-06-22 20:39:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh come on, this is better than most of the shit posted here today. +2 to even out.
And ashlee, if this is all true, aren't you like...19? You're good, you've got plenty of time.
Don't worry, in no way can you say at this time in your life that you've fucked up your whole
life. No matter how bad it's gotten, you have time to fix it.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-06-22 19:56:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
dont' do drugs
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-06-22 19:43:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Good luck with all that.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-22 19:32:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-06-22 17:42:50 (#)
Ranking: 0
Possibly a contraversial viewpoint here, but I think rehab is somewhat of a copout. If you recognise you have a problem and genuinely want to solve it, you just have to get on and do it. It'll be a fucking nightmare for a while, but you come out the other end.
I fail to see how a couple of days sitting round in a circle and crying is a replacement for consistent effort to change on your part. Having knocked my crack habit on the head quite a few years ago now, allow me to offer this: get away. Get away from the people, places and things that characterise your situation at the moment. Cut ties. Change your location. Start afresh.
It can be done, Ash. Good luck dude.
---
detox and learning psychological tools to help you with issues are a copout?
no.
Going to rehab and not actually wanting help is a copout.
just because you are miss little my life was so bad but I overcame doesn't mean that other people can just say no.
Submitted by doctorj24 (user info) at 2005-06-22 19:03:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Good luck to ya.
Submitted by strider (user info) at 2005-06-22 18:51:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I've really disliked you in the past for your endless annoying whining in replies. I really don't think you've written anything that's worth reading either (not that mine are much better).
There's no telling how genuine this is. Maybe you are just trying to save your Ubertation? (love that word Adam), there's no telling. All is I can say now is my dislike for you has turned to pity. You obviously need some help I pray that you can find it and stick with it. I second the recommendation to get away from the common situations to help you break your habit. Take a couple of weeks off and visit a relative or something.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-06-22 18:50:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Loren? Just for the record, although I've posted much crap, I've never posted random insults. Except at alters, who don't count.
I'm just going to believe that Ashlee is telling the truth about this, and as such, yes. Go get help,and +2 for realizing you have a problem.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-06-22 18:48:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Actually, scratch the "don't be too condescendent" part. I'm in no way fit to say that to anyone!
Just don't call everybody teenagers.
Good night!
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-06-22 18:43:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2005-06-22 18:17:13 (#)
Ranking: 0
"Hope you die" is funny?
====
With the emoticon, it had a certain "cachet"...whatever...the point is, Uber has gotten predictable so random -2's like that are actually welcomed.
And Shitfuck has written awesome stuff, you just don't like each others. You shouldn't be too condescendent and call everybody who doesn't fit you "teenagers". It makes you look older, not in a very good way.
Time to go work out!
Submitted by Kamargo (user info) at 2005-06-22 18:42:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Damnit girl, it's all in your mind, you must have self control, at least keep your binges to the weekends, you know you are addicted when you can't control yourself and you MUST finish the C baggie... when you are in that situation, it's time to stop and meditate, perhaps even stay away from alcohol for a month or two, it works wonderfully to put things in perspective once again...
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2005-06-22 18:34:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm with apollo... a few lines? pshht... a fucking dime bag in your closet? pshht... come back when you've got a qp in the safe underneath your bed and a false door in your closet that hides the plant.
until then, who gives a shit, you aren't that bad off.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2005-06-22 18:28:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What happened while I was gone?
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2005-06-22 18:17:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Hope you die" is funny?
Caul, there's nothing original about spewing random insults all over the place. Just about every new teenager on this site has started out the same way. Shitfuck, chipolatte, it's a never-ending chain of bullshit...
But my patience with these little mentally challenged jackasses is wearing thin. I'd prefer they were banned immediately. I'm tired of waiting it out until they finally get tired of it.
(I don't dig brown nosing either, trust me. Case in point - Urbane's camwhoring posts - I can't believe something like that got so many +2s).
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-06-22 18:16:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-06-22 17:54:09 (#)
Ranking: -2
It's soooo obvious that this is a last ditch effort to save her Ubertation (like that I just made it up) She was shown to be a irresponsible, slutty, shmoozozing, good for nothing bitch. Even in the post about the Michigan trip Urban mentions how Ashlee has been IMing her or something all day trying to convince her she'll be good, but now Urbane sees it as a manipulation.
I've known people like this all my life. Some of them at one time good friends, but drugs change people, and they change forever. I wouldn't piss on em to put out if they were on fire.
I've heard all the sympathetic talks about wanting to change.
It's all bullshit, you should be ashamed of yourself for lying again. If change and help is what you wanted you wouldn't be here, trying to make an excuse for yourself.
-----------
He's right, you know.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-06-22 18:02:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Loren - he'll be banned anyway. His insults with emoticons http://www.ubersite.com/m/69091#1402185 just make me laugh. Call me immature, I think it changes from the usual brown-nosing we witness here.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2005-06-22 17:57:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-06-22 17:31:01 (#)
Ranking: -1
ProgramGeek is pretty funny, even if -2 everything, including my post.
------------------
Caul, for the love of all that is good in the land of Uber, please don't egg on the stupid teenagers.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-06-22 17:54:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
It's soooo obvious that this is a last ditch effort to save her Ubertation (like that I just made it up) She was shown to be a irresponsible, slutty, shmoozozing, good for nothing bitch. Even in the post about the Michigan trip Urban mentions how Ashlee has been IMing her or something all day trying to convince her she'll be good, but now Urbane sees it as a manipulation.
I've known people like this all my life. Some of them at one time good friends, but drugs change people, and they change forever. I wouldn't piss on em to put out if they were on fire.
I've heard all the sympathetic talks about wanting to change.
It's all bullshit, you should be ashamed of yourself for lying again. If change and help is what you wanted you wouldn't be here, trying to make an excuse for yourself.
You disgust me, and I don't even know you
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-06-22 17:42:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Possibly a contraversial viewpoint here, but I think rehab is somewhat of a copout. If you recognise you have a problem and genuinely want to solve it, you just have to get on and do it. It'll be a fucking nightmare for a while, but you come out the other end.
I fail to see how a couple of days sitting round in a circle and crying is a replacement for consistent effort to change on your part. Having knocked my crack habit on the head quite a few years ago now, allow me to offer this: get away. Get away from the people, places and things that characterise your situation at the moment. Cut ties. Change your location. Start afresh.
It can be done, Ash. Good luck dude.
Submitted by Girlwithaclue (user info) at 2005-06-22 17:32:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is exactly what I was thinking.....
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
It seems like putting yourself in unproductive situations (see Ubercons) is not what you need in your life. But who the fuck am I to judge.
Seek help, you haven't reached your bottom yet, from the sounds of it
>>>>>>>>>>>>
Reaching the bottom differs depending on the person. I think that the first thing you need to do (speaking from experience) is find out who you are. Start by doing some writing, not posting but writing for your eyes only. A good place to start is with your life history. Find the spot where you made the choice and then figure out how to fix it. Telling people you are going to quit comes off as just what it is..words, nothing more.
Once you know where you went wrong you can start putting the pieces together and quit doing what masks the pain. Then...quit, but don't tell anyone.
Just do it!!
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-06-22 17:31:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
ProgramGeek is pretty funny, even if -2 everything, including my post.
Loren is awfully nice to Ashlee. If she was a guy she'd probably say "Shut the fuck up! I hate whinning men! Blah blah blah!"
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2005-06-22 17:28:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ProgramGeek (user info) at 2005-06-22 17:06:36 (#)
Ranking: -2
Btw sorry for being such an ass in the last post... But please don't give this lady sympathy... Give her fucking -2's. Destroy her. >:D
----------
Who is this asshole? God I hate when school lets out for summer recess - all the pimple-faced, friendless children of generation prozac sit at home with nothing to do but lash out at strangers and/or masturbate on the Internet. It's incredibly sad. (And very obvious, ProgramGeek).
Ashlee, if you are getting as bad as you claim, most definitely go to rehab for a few days.
Then distance yourself from everyone and everything connected with drugs. And for the love of God, make sure you protect yourself if you're going to be fucking around with multiple partners!
STAY HOME. And take care of yourself. It's not as hard to recover and start over when you haven't been involved in it all for a very long a time period.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-06-22 17:27:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
fucking hell, a yank has a couple of lines and all of a sudden its rehab.
jesus your governemtn has a lot to answer for.
it has you all shiteing it over going on a bender.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2005-06-22 17:25:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So am I.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-06-22 17:24:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I'm disapointed in you
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2005-06-22 17:12:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2005-06-22 17:05:55 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-06-22 17:03:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
I kind of hope this is true, but I'm afraid this is more rationalization. 2 days ago, you insisted you had no problem. I can't believe inspiration has struck in the last 48 hours.
-------------------------------------------
Dude. I don't know any of you people. And I probably never will. But even I can see through this bullshit. It's about as transparent as it can get. Especially since the truly contrite don't start out with "Judge not..."
The judge not line was a reference to the fact that I thought someone else was stupid for becoming addicted to drugs and then I turned around and did it myself.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-06-22 17:11:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It seems like putting yourself in unproductive situations (see Ubercons) is not what you need in your life. But who the fuck am I to judge.
Seek help, you haven't reached your bottom yet, from the sounds of it
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-06-22 17:10:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks for re-stating my point, wookie.
Just because I hold out one shred of hope doesn't mean I BELIEVE it.
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2005-06-22 17:09:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
147 grain hollow point
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-22 17:08:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Good Luck with the uberdrama.
Submitted by Natsukau (user info) at 2005-06-22 17:08:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Why don't you just kill yourself before you have the three kids and waste my taxes.
Submitted by Deidra (user info) at 2005-06-22 17:07:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't believe anything I read here.. However. If this is true, you can beat this. You just have to really want it and work your ass off.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-06-22 17:07:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Agreed. And when we had serious conversations, you seemed there, and then half an hour later you were doing the opposite of what you said.
Ashlee, I do hope the best for you. Seriously, rehad is not a bad idea. Neither is college. Stay the hell away from the drugs and don't let yourself live in the fanstasy of "I'm not addicted, I can stop any time"
I seriously hope this is real and not just an attempt to salvage your reputation or something like that. Uber respects those who own up to thier faults and corrects them. Realize that, and that none of us are out to get you.
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Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-06-22 17:03:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
I kind of hope this is true, but I'm afraid this is more rationalization. 2 days ago, you insisted you had no problem. I can't believe inspiration has struck in the last 48 hours.
Submitted by ProgramGeek (user info) at 2005-06-22 17:06:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Btw sorry for being such an ass in the last post... But please don't give this lady sympathy... Give her fucking -2's. Destroy her. >:D
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2005-06-22 17:05:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-06-22 17:03:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
I kind of hope this is true, but I'm afraid this is more rationalization. 2 days ago, you insisted you had no problem. I can't believe inspiration has struck in the last 48 hours.
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Dude. I don't know any of you people. And I probably never will. But even I can see through this bullshit. It's about as transparent as it can get. Especially since the truly contrite don't start out with "Judge not..."
Submitted by ProgramGeek (user info) at 2005-06-22 17:05:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No, the inspiration is this lady deserves to die. She's a bad person. I am all that is pure and true here.
http://www.lemonparty.org will describe alot of my feelings to you quite well. Bitch.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2005-06-22 17:04:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Beleive it or don't. You're part of the reason.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-06-22 17:03:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I kind of hope this is true, but I'm afraid this is more rationalization. 2 days ago, you insisted you had no problem. I can't believe inspiration has struck in the last 48 hours.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-06-22 16:59:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
tweekers suck
Submitted by ProgramGeek (user info) at 2005-06-22 16:57:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
first review. you suck at writing btw.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/69084