Love Vs. Infatuation (828 hits)
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Submitted by programgeek (View user info) at 2005-06-22 17:47:57 EDT
A rough draft of an article for my site on Love, Lust and Infatuation. It also delves into some biological reasoning, so if your not into that, your not going to be into this.
If there is one thing that's confusing in life -- it's our emotions. Emotions can often lead to the pitfalls of the most heroic characters. What causes some of the emotions in our life has been a thing that has been theorized for ages, one of the most complex (and hard to explain) human emotions is love.
Love -- What is love to you? Many people come to tell me they are in love and it's the real thing. Perhaps it is love, but what kind? Robert Sternburg helps try to give us an explanation to the types of love with the Triangular theory of love. When it comes down to it, what is love?
Often in love relationships we find a couple who both seem very romantically involved. They look into each others eyes and beleive that the person infront of them is the most beautiful person in the world. Which, to them, at the time, may be true.
Our Feelings
Is "following our hearts" merely doing what chemicals make us do? Science can give an answer to feeling an attraction at first site with pheromones?
Science can really make the world around us seem very different. It explains what some people still beleive comes from some sort of magical force. Have you ever wondered how you "heart" seemed to limit yourself to a certain kind of person? How many of us have heard the term "shallow heart?" Perhaps this is an expression of us trying to find a more physically fit mate? (.. What a coincidence, I'm fat).. Okay, let's add what humans have in a relationship that other lifeforms don't -- Social standing and Money. Ouch, damn.
A crush is a short-lived and unrequited love, infatuation, or Limerence, prevalent among teenagers. A crush also refers to the object of this infatuation. When reading most of the MySpaces and LiveJournals and Xangas nowadays -- I hear alot about love amongst teenagers -- That can help put it into perspective for alot of us. I am PISSED I didn't know that earlier.
But in the end of it all -- What are we? We are humans, we reproduce sexually, and therefore it's completely tangible that we should not feel bad that most of us still inherit many primitive traits which "lower" life forms may have. The biological way to put it:
No seed gets passed on = No baby
No baby = Missing link
And when you have alot of missing links, things are damn sure to fail.
So remember next your engaging in sexual intercourse to have a child - that you are helping us, unless ofcourse your like many parents nowadays, who let there children grow up to be complete jackasses. Also - to future moms, don't smoke/drink/get high while you are pregnant. That doesn't just make you a jackass -- it makes you a murderer, how about I come up to you and start screwing up your DNA to make your life hell, not to mention the fact it ruins the chance for the humanity to healthily and kindly progress into the future, because some damn woman seems to care a bit too much about other things. - <3 tony
Limerance (Extra Section)
What about love when the person doesn't love back? Personally, As a person who formally suffered from many problems with infatuation, It could possible consider that my entire diagnosis of bipolar is based upon infatuation. All my life I have been an introvert who kept himself far from woman -- so my question to any psychologist would be -- What would cause my Limerence? Could it be lifestyle, or because I already have a bipolar diagnosis?
``Limerence has certain basic components:
* ``intrusive thinking about the object of your passionate desire (the limerent object or `LO'), who is a possible sexual partner
* ``acute longing for reciprocation
* ``dependency of mood on LO's actions or, more accurately, your interpretation of LO's actions with respect to the probability of reciprocation
* ``inability to react limerently to more than one person at a time (exceptions occur when limerence is at low ebb -- early on or in the last fading)
* ``some fleeting and transient relief from unrequited limerent passion through vivid imagination of action by LO that means reciprocation
* ``fear of rejection and sometimes incapacitating but always unsettling shyness in LO's presence, especially in the beginning and whenever uncertainty strikes
* ``intensification through adversity (at least, up to a point)
* ``acute sensitivity to any act or thought or condition that can be interpreted favorably, and extraordinary ability to devise or invent ``reasonable'' explanations for why the neutrality that the disinterested observer might see is in fact a sign of hidden passion in the LO
* ``an aching of the `heart' (a region in the center front of the chest) when uncertainty is strong
* ``buoyancy (a feeling of walking on air) when reciprocation seems evident
* ``a general intensity of feeling that leaves other concerns in the background
* ``a remarkable ability to emphasize what is truly admirable in LO and to avoid dwelling on the negative, even to respond with a compassion for the negative and render it, emotionally if not perceptually, into another positive attribute.''
Why the hell isn't limerence described as a medical disorder in the DSM? Why in gods name did I have to go through all that talking with "professionals" just to find the answer by googling it myself? Psychologists nowadays don't know everything -- apparently most go by the books, even more go by "less" than the books. I swear.. this world.. This damn cruel world.
User Reviews
Submitted by dohnuts (user info) at 2005-06-22 18:29:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Everything you've wanted to know about Tony Narlock aka ProgramGeek
http://tony.programgeeks.net/?page_id=10
AhHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa Overweigh? "I'm single and kinda want to meet somebody." In highschool still? Bipolar? Gee, who would have guessed.
You fucking loser.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-06-22 18:05:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Have you been stealing some of Ashlee's drugs? Come on man, fess up, right now....no one is watching. Speaking of no one watching...
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-06-22 17:52:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
jesus, no one has ever done this before. what's the next post going to be...the ingredients of your rogaine?
Submitted by ProgramGeek (user info) at 2005-06-22 17:50:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have no clue what he's talking about? I think my account may have been hacked. Please ignore his angry posts.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-06-22 17:49:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This piece of shit is less evil than the first one but it's still a piece of shit.
And spamming my account with -2's is just gonna get you banned. Once you're account is banned, your ratings won't matter and my posts will go back to where they were.
Basically you're as impotent here as you are on your dates assuming you ever get one.
Here's a handy link so you can come back after you're banned and see what I'm talking about.
http://www.ubersite.com/u/snark