SPT -Aussie Poem (1030 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.7 on 63 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Sphagnum (View user info) at 2005-06-23 08:17:54 EDT
AUSSIE LOVE POEM
OF COURSE I LOVE YA DARLING
YOU'RE A BLOODY TOP NOTCH BIRD
AND WHEN I SAY YOUR GORGEOUS
I MEAN EVERY SINGLE WORD
SO YA BUM IS ON THE BIG SIDE
I DON'T MIND A BIT OF FLAB
IT MEANS THAT WHEN I'M READY
THERES SOMETHING THERE TO GRAB
SO YOUR BELLY ISN'T FLAT NO MORE
I TELL YA , I DON'T CARE
SO LONG AS WHEN I CUDDLE YA
I CAN GET MY ARMS ROUND THERE
NO SHEILA WHO IS YOUR AGE
HAS NICE ROUND PERKY BREASTS
THEY JUST GAVE INTO GRAVITY
BUT I KNOW YOU DID YOUR BEST
I'M TELLIN YA THE TRUTH NOW
I NEVER TELL YA LIES
I THINK ITS VERY SEXY
THAT YOU'VE GOT DIMPLES ON YA THIGHS
I SWEAR ON ME NANNA'S GRAVE NOW
THE MOMENT THAT WE MET
I THOUGHT U WAS A S GOOD AS I
WAS EVER GONNA GET
NO MATTER WOT YA LOOK LIKE
I'LL ALWAYS LOVE YA DEAR
NOW SHUTUP WHILE THE FOOTYS ON
AND GET ME ANOTHER BEER!
First Google image search for "Aussie"
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-02-09 11:40:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-27 10:24:59 (#)
Ranking: -2
Make your New Years' Resoultion to never post again!
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-07-09 17:25:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-07-08 22:37:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was better, interesting to learn how they boss their women in Aus.
Submitted by cumguzzler (user info) at 2005-06-26 12:20:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ROLE MODEL ALERT!!
------------------
Holy shit. I thought I had seen the best, but THIS...this...MASTERPIECE, surely puts you at the top of the UBER elite. I bow down to you honey (literally, if you'd like).
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-23 17:51:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Circe? Awesome!
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-06-23 17:41:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
At least we finally won!
Transformer is Circe.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-23 16:00:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cricket is boring to watch but probbly a bit like rounders to play. which is ok. theres nothjing wrong with being austraian sphag- why aren't you inbed.
*may have had a few glasses of wine sine last rating*
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-06-23 15:59:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's Actually Friday here....
You should get over your hate for Aussies.
We aren't ALL convicts you know?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-06-23 15:56:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-06-23 13:24:26 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-23 13:23:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
That's beautiful sphagnum!
------
Aren't you British? You hate me, Surely!
_____
well, you know how _I_ feel about all you antipodean fuckers...but here's a +2 for SPTing on the right DAY!
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-06-23 15:44:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You SHOULD care about Cricket C1ndy!
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-06-23 14:47:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
At least I made ONE book.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-06-23 14:39:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like you, D, you're all right in my book. Hahahaha
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-06-23 14:35:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-06-23 14:23:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
Check your e-mail again, dear.
----
Your turn!
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-06-23 14:26:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
MM:- I forgot to add to the E-mail that you should keep away form Danger... He is from Queensland and they are all bad eggs up there...
Kidding, Anyone from Australia can guarantee you a good time... Imagine hanging out with some of these other fuckwits from here??
I know, It would suck all kinds of maggot balls.
(Refuses to name names!)
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-06-23 14:23:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Check your e-mail again, dear.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-06-23 14:23:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The Aussies do love their sport (It's the only thing we are good at.)
I am currently watching the One day game between Australia and England.
I thought you would be into giving me a hard time about the fact that the Pohms beat us?
My mistake, you obviously aren't interested in Cricket.
*Apologises*
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-23 14:17:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't care about cricket sphag- I also don't think cricket is a good spectator sport. obviously it's good when we win, but we are very used to losing at most sports. I was in Australia when the olympics were going on last yesr- the Auzzies are mad for it aren't they?
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-06-23 14:13:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
BTW, MANIC: Don't run away with Danger.. Unless you like to molest little boys.
P.S, I'm smiling. I haven't stopped smiling for hours.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-06-23 14:11:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sphagnum is having a good time.
Cindy, I assumed you would hate me because the Aussies are about to "SLAUGHTER" you in the Cricket.
Manic, I'm confused, Didn't I reply to your E=mail?
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-23 14:09:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-06-23 13:24:26 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-23 13:23:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
That's beautiful sphagnum!
------
Aren't you British? You hate me, Surely!
---
The British don't hate Australians. We pretend we hate the French, but love the culture and food and cheap wine, try to hate the Americans (but secretly we know we are better), and are massively racist about Germans mainly relating to "two world wars and one world cup"
It's not actually beautiful though- nothing written in all capitals is beautiful- I was being Ironic!
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-06-23 14:04:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry you're having such a shitty night. I WAS hoping that my first e-mail would give you some amusement. Especially that last paragraph. Oh well, I guess I'll have to run away with some other Aussie. Do you think I'd fit in with Danger's pack of Uber women?
Come on man, let's see a little grin, that was funny.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2005-06-23 13:52:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-06-23 13:50:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/69126#1404449
Apologies Bob, You know how cheap I am. I can't afford to advertise on the Über board.
----------------
There are no apologies needed my friend, I was simply returing the favour, no harm no foul.
Keep on keeping on.
Submitted by Haggard (user info) at 2005-06-23 13:37:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2005-06-23 13:25:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Disgraceful Linkwhore
http://www.ubersite.com/m/69165 (link NSFW maybe)
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-06-23 13:24:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-23 13:23:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
That's beautiful sphagnum!
------
Aren't you British? You hate me, Surely!
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-23 13:23:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's beautiful sphagnum!
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-06-23 13:17:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-06-23 13:17:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
AUSSIES!!!!!!
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-06-23 13:17:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
THE
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-06-23 13:17:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
GO
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-06-23 13:17:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
time
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-06-23 13:17:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
this
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-06-23 13:17:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
fucked
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-06-23 13:17:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
are
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-06-23 13:16:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Pohms
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-06-23 13:16:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-06-23 13:16:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
PS
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-06-23 13:13:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Check your E-mail MM.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-06-23 13:11:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BPE!
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-06-23 11:17:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
That is all....
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-06-23 11:16:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
When I said "Wankers", I meant obnoxious, untalented, pathetic, insignificant Retards.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-06-23 11:15:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
When I said "Right", I meant "Write".
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-06-23 11:14:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I am Watching Aus v Eng in ODI.
I didn't right this (Hence the SPT) was sent from a mate in an E-mail.
This is not Crappy (merdique) unless you are too retarded to understand "Advanced" English.
Don't remember claiming that it was my work. (You probably assumed it was since it was of such high quality.)
If you didn't like it, FUCK OFF and read something else.
All you wankers who think ratings mean something to me, leave your -2's behind so that I can discuss them with my therapist.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-06-23 10:47:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i need her sex
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-06-23 10:06:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Love it, and I don't give a damn where it came from. I've never seen it.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-06-23 09:30:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is an email 'cut & paste' - received it the other day...
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-06-23 09:11:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
merdique
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-06-23 09:10:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Art - real art
El Fabit O
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-06-23 08:55:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
magnificent
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-06-23 08:55:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
rings true
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-06-23 08:48:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Can\t reply, Busy at moment.
Submitted by Awko (user info) at 2005-06-23 08:43:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by transformer (user info) at 2005-06-23 08:38:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Of course this is copied.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-06-23 08:37:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
mother of god... lesbians!!!
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-06-23 08:34:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-06-23 08:30:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm using that next febuary.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-23 08:28:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
LOVE IT!
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-06-23 08:25:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pretty damn funny.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-06-23 08:22:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If you wrote this, this doesn't deserve an SPT title.
Submitted by swamp_donkey (user info) at 2005-06-23 08:22:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Boobies!
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-06-23 08:21:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*tear*
Aussie Aussie Aussie!
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2005-06-23 08:20:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SPT.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-23 08:19:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Upon meeting an Australian woman for the first time, she confided in me that she thought assholes (like your body part) were just adorable.
We got along just fine.