SPT: Random Thoughts (977 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.73 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by spedmonkey <spedmonkey.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-06-23 09:57:34 EDT
You know what's funny? Rice rockets. Despite every mod they make to the damn car, one simple fact remains: my bottle of soda still has more liters than their engine.
I got really lonely driving to work today, so I hugged the road.
If you have a dog that kills a cat every day and brings it back to you, is it safe to say your bitch gives you pussy every day?
The answer is seven. Always.
I love how everyone's talking about this one little Utah kid who got lost in the woods. Honestly, what's the big deal? He's probably a Mormon anyhow. Maybe he was looking for some wives or something.
If I ever have a band, remind me to name it something kickass like "The Flying Buttmonkeys" or "Ninjas On Parade". No one would even care about your music. They'd just be like, "Wow, what a kickass name. They probably kick ass." Then they'd buy the music, not listen to it, and we'd all be happy.
A friend of mine said the other day that his beer was just like sex. Well, I don't know about him, but my sex usually isn't brown, liquidy, and carbonated.
I think one day we should just all not wear pants. Why? I don't know. I was going somewhere with this, but I have no idea where that was. And naturally, being a guy, I'm not going to ask for directions.
The Michael Jackson edition of "Little Boy Blue"
Little boy blue
Let me blow your horn
Your mother's not home,
We'll make child porn.
Oh where is the boy
That tends to my jock?
I've got to find him
Then go for a walk.
What? What did you think the last line would be? Perv.
Do you think a mass murderer has to kill twice as many people in Canada as in the US for the same amount of notoriety, because of the exchange rate? And does a Japanese guy then have to kill 100 times as many as an American?
If I were married to the Kool-Aid guy, I think him saying "Oh yeah!" over and over in bed would get a little bit boring. Maybe that's just me, though.
I bet the Goatse guy would make a good golf caddy.
McDonald's slogan is still "I'm loving it", right? Since Burger King is always trying to one-up them, can we reasonably expect a campaign from BK along the lines of "I'm fantasizing about it" or "I'm touching myself over it" soon?
I really just want to walk into a bulimia clinic sometime and shout "Wow, you guys all make me want to puke!"
Sort of along those lines, I saw this shirt once on some pro-choice website saying "I Had and Abortion". I really wanted to buy one and put on the back "...For Dinner!"
OK, that's enough. Here, like usual, a random picture courtesy of http://www.boneyourmother.com (NSFW):
User Reviews
Submitted by minimumdino (user info) at 2006-01-11 14:02:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
uber for me! uber for you!
Submitted by minimumdino (user info) at 2006-01-10 18:43:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
rice rice baby
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-12-29 16:58:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
How did this come up again? Time for a nice big "WTF?".
Submitted by a_palindrome (user info) at 2005-12-26 20:41:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Why? I don't know. I was going somewhere with this, but I have no idea where that was. And naturally, being a guy, I'm not going to ask for directions."
So true. Every guy I know never thinks about asking someone for directions. It's a shame.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-07-27 01:06:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Eternal_Dragon (user info) at 2005-07-27 00:47:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-23 12:33:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for the picture alone!
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2005-06-23 12:19:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-06-23 12:17:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by icepigs (user info) at 2005-06-23 10:58:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
"If I were married to the Kool-Aid guy, I think him saying "Oh yeah!" over and over in bed would get a little bit boring. Maybe that's just me, though."
That line alone gets you a +2
Submitted by sg11588 (user info) at 2005-06-23 11:43:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W
Submitted by sg11588 (user info) at 2005-06-23 11:43:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"If I were married to the Kool-Aid guy, I think him saying "Oh yeah!" over and over in bed would get a little bit boring. Maybe that's just me, though."
I almost pissed myself at this.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-06-23 11:18:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I freaking love that photo....reminds me of my Jack.
Submitted by icepigs (user info) at 2005-06-23 10:58:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"If I were married to the Kool-Aid guy, I think him saying "Oh yeah!" over and over in bed would get a little bit boring. Maybe that's just me, though."
That line alone gets you a +2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-06-23 10:38:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Re: the kid in Utah - The only reason it took authorities so long to find that little queer is because he was purposefully hiding from them. Numerous people passed directly by him when he was lost on the trail, but every time someone came near, he left the trail and hid in a bush. He told the police he did this because he was afraid someone would "steal" him.
With logic like that, I wouldn't be surprised if that kid wins the Republican nomination for the 2048 Presidential race.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-06-23 10:37:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"The answer is seven. Always."
my algebra teacher (back in high school) was explaining a word problem to the class one day. i didn't understand how he got the answer and questioned his line of solving. he realized he screwed up, but was too arrogant to admit it.
"Just multiply by seven."
"Where did you get the seven from?"
...
"Uh. You just always multiply by seven."
dumbass
Submitted by missflibble (user info) at 2005-06-23 10:26:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
'McDonald's slogan is still "I'm loving it", right? Since Burger King is always trying to one-up them, can we reasonably expect a campaign from BK along the lines of "I'm fantasizing about it" or "I'm touching myself over it" soon? '
WHERE DO YOU THINK WHOPPER SAUCE COMES FROM?
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-23 10:24:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
shamone?
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-06-23 10:21:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-06-23 10:06:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was SOOOOO fucking awesome