Dave Chappelle: Comedian and Health Hazard (711 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.69 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Ducky (View user info) at 2005-06-24 08:08:15 EDT
For those of you who are living under a rock, Dave Chappelle, aka Rick James bitch, is one of the funniest comedians on the air today. The other day though, his wacky antics proved to be too much for a friend of mine to handle.
Ring.... Ring.
'Hello?'
'Hey, what are you doing?'
'Sweet fuck all...you?'
'I'm coming over and we're watching Chappelle's Show, k?'
'Sure'.
I have to tell you. I've never met anyone who idolizes good ole Dave more than my friend here. He loves him, in that platonic, non-ghey-menz kind of way of course (although I'm pretty sure that he'd jump at the chance to clean his pool, pick up shit off his lawn, or bear his child if it were humanly possible). So we're sitting in my living room, which is unfinished and has nothing but a concrete floor at the moment, on the most uncomfortable soul sucking futon couch in the existence of futon couches.
This couch will wait patiently until you fall asleep on it and then, like a polyester venus flytrap, will snap shut on you. If you are standing on it and hanging a picture on the wall behind it, one of the prongs will snap and you will be projected several feet backwards and land directly on your tailbone. If you try to get up off of it, whichever end you are on will spontaneously drop, catching your foot, and spraining your ankle.
So we're watching Dave on the T.V., when all of a sudden he says something particularly funny. My friend is drinking a bottle of pop. And laughing.
He starts to choke.
I ask him if he's okay. No answer. He's choking harder. Slowly he stands up, hunched over and gagging.
Then he starts to puke. I don't mean a dry heave or a trickle down his chin either. I mean the largest, spraying geyser of the foulest smelling vomit I have ever seen. As a finale, his eyes roll back and he passes out. Face first, he slams into the puke covered concrete. Rolling him over, he comes to, and quickly leaves.
I love Dave Chappelle.
User Reviews
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2005-06-25 22:43:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HE CAN'T TAKE THE FAME! That's why he's black.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-06-24 15:05:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahahha
hahaha
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2005-06-24 10:31:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Nator (user info) at 2005-06-24 08:50:35 (#)
Ranking: -1
Too bad Chapelle's only gimmick is saying 'nigger' every few seconds. In fact, I'd say 98% of his show consists of him standing in front of a mic and saying 'nigger'.
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This guy is a fucking moron, Dave is fucking funny.
I'M RICH BEAAACH *honk honk*
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2005-06-24 10:04:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-06-24 08:50:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
pancakes?
Why don't you purify yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka?
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-06-24 10:02:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was pretty good.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-06-24 10:01:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Puke = auto +2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-24 09:55:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Nator (user info) at 2005-06-24 08:50:35 (#)
Ranking: -1
Too bad Chapelle's only gimmick is saying 'nigger' every few seconds. In fact, I'd say 98% of his show consists of him standing in front of a mic and saying 'nigger'.
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we talking about the same dude?
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-06-24 09:48:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahah!
Submitted by Nator (user info) at 2005-06-24 08:50:35 (#)
Ranking: -1
Too bad Chapelle's only gimmick is saying 'nigger' every few seconds. In fact, I'd say 98% of his show consists of him standing in front of a mic and saying 'nigger'.
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You're an idiot.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-06-24 09:25:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HA!
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-06-24 08:50:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
pancakes?
Submitted by Nator (user info) at 2005-06-24 08:50:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Too bad Chapelle's only gimmick is saying 'nigger' every few seconds. In fact, I'd say 98% of his show consists of him standing in front of a mic and saying 'nigger'.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2005-06-24 08:48:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
absolute truth MJ.
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2005-06-24 08:38:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2005-06-24 08:34:40 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2005-06-24 08:28:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
Stuff in your house seems to attack you often.
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It's a conspiracy.
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Could have been worse. Concrete floor is better place for vomit to be deposited than a Persian rug or any furniture in general.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2005-06-24 08:34:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2005-06-24 08:28:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
Stuff in your house seems to attack you often.
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It's a conspiracy.
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2005-06-24 08:32:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and he whooped your monkey-ass at some street hoops?
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-24 08:31:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wrote a poem.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-06-24 08:29:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Wow, that sure is unfortunate.
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2005-06-24 08:28:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Stuff in your house seems to attack you often.