Reverse Psychology (826 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.92 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by lodikcom (View user info) at 2005-06-24 11:40:30 EDT
Look away.
You're not going to want to see this.
It's Brian.
The vagrant you never look in the eyes.
His head looks like something you found at the bottom of your bathtub. Brian's hair, it's stuck together in clumps. Bits of gum, road tar and chewing tobacco clings to the greasy clumps. It's been so long since he washed his hair, it's beginning to stick and know together. By now he's sporting dreadlocks. The bits of string, paper and trash; they make it so his hair looks like a bird's nest that's fallen to the gutter.
His face, the skin, it's dry and brittle. This is where you say it looks like a riverbed during a drought. The smoke in his life, it made jerky of his hide. The lines in his face; they look like a roadmap. Freeways basking in the sun twist and turn around puss-filled mountains.
The zits on his face are so huge, so abundant; you stare looking for patterns.
You don't want to look, but he's some sort of visual reverse psychology. Train wreck, car crash, you get the idea.
Like clouds, or inkblots, everyone sees a different picture. To you, his zits look like Africa. The pattern of white heads above his right eye; you say they're the Great Pyramids of Brian. While you're staring, he breaks one zit on his nose and creamy puss drips down to hang from his nostril.
Look away.
These zits;
They're one more reason Brian doesn't get your attention.
His teeth.
Don't even read about his teeth.
The few he still has in his mouth, they look like baked beans. When he smokes, Brian likes to hold the filter in the gap where one of his two front teeth used to be.
Brian's bag, it jingles when he moves. Half-full mason jars clink into one another. Each jar rings at a different tone, so when he moves it sounds like an orchestra is warming up. You wonder, if he had a home, would he still keep his urine in jars?
If I ever told you what he did with his shit, you'd never carry spare change again.
These are things you'll never listen to.
Look away.
Brian; He's not a drunk like you think. He doesn't drink at all. He only writes, "Why LIe? I JUST WaNT BeeR!" on his sign because you think it's funny. You give him more money when you think he's funny.
He's not a drunk.
You still won't look him in the eyes.
Speaking of eyes, Brian's used to be beautiful. When he was a teenager the girls loved his baby blues. Nowadays there's not even white left in his eyes. They've turned more of a yellow from the poor nutrition. The lines in his eyes, they're red; just like you'd expect. His irises; today they look more grey against the yellow. They're not even blue anymore.
But you'll never know this.
You'd have to look him in the eyes.
You have to spend the time to learn about him.
That little pocket on the outside of his bag.
You know, see the copper zipper on the side of the duffel bag?
Yeah.
There.
That's where he keeps a shammy cloth. He got it out of a repair shop's garbage. Back then, it was covered in oil, but he washed it off in the sewer. Now he uses that rag to clean up his messes. I say it like that because you know what I mean.
Messes.
Sperm.
By now, that shammy cloth, it's as hard as a rock. When he rubs it against his shaft to wipe clean, it leaves a rash.
These are the things you'll never know about Brian.
You never look in his eyes.
You'll never spend time learning about him.
Or would you?
User Reviews
Submitted by sir_cowman (user info) at 2006-04-15 12:09:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Its good. I enjoyed myself. The only part I didn't like was about how Brian used to be beautiful. It felt... forced? Or maybe a little false.
Submitted by evesapple (user info) at 2006-04-15 11:46:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-06-24 11:57:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
This is good but did you have to post it so close to lunchtime?
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-04-15 00:10:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-04-14 23:49:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you are an interesting human being.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-14 21:25:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This should have had a billion or so reviews. . .
Submitted by pantsarestupid (user info) at 2005-06-24 15:20:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2005-06-24 14:59:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2YF
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-06-24 13:38:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-06-24 13:20:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great descriptive post. Very interesting format.
"It's in your face, but you can't grab it." - Faith No More
Submitted by taurusfh (user info) at 2005-06-24 12:16:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Interesting method
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-24 12:04:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cool!
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-06-24 12:02:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Poor, poor homeless people.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-24 11:57:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck you.
This is the most offensive hate post I have ever read about myself.
I'm going to go cry in my urine jar now.
<becauseitsaboutme>
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-06-24 11:57:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is good but did you have to post it so close to lunchtime?