When I Cum Now Wish That It Too Swift ? Or Why Fellows Am Calm In Bed Be (734 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Hairy Coo <hairy_coo1.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-06-24 11:57:28 EDT
Excuse the plagiarism, but this cracked me up.
______________________________________________
As soon as a conversation with Jesus and our friends and the house of shaven device had and an interesting subject came on. (And yes, I encompassed intentional the name of an uberuser guru in an on that tries growth popularity) in every case, asked someone, "Why its fellows so that silence in bed". And meanwhile this through is no, means where for all fellows, here is my answer.
Guy its calm in bed because we too busy think be. You heard myself just. The thinking. Deep thoughts. You see, appear feels see the to general the job of the fellow, (at least in my experience) the girl to make just as good as possible and sweet, sweet orgasms. The girl is at the others side general satisfied set only back to lay and to see what I offer must. Again I cannot speak is for someone else, this only in my personal experience.
Not only I want to think during sex, am I multitasking. My neuro-nettobewerker of a brain hits harden hits hard algoritme just fast as my penis pussycat.
Only what goes through my head during sex? As the moon, this is a border that till yet closed only through man traveled becomes. Only here is a small estimate, of which further in my head during sex go:
It is not become long for my thoughts a silence, panikeert.
BRAIN: "Curse, she only move". BRAIN: "Did I do something right or did I hurt her"
<soft moaning starts> BRAIN: "She makes sounds!" BRAIN: "Pain sounds or pleasure sounds"? BRAIN: "the Letbal attempt leading the level a small on"
<increased moaning"
BRAIN: "More noises, I pretty sure that's pleasure now"
BRAIN: "Oh yeah, she's starting to flush, I like that"
BRAIN: "Lets try changing the angle a bit"
.............................
BRAIN: "Nope, didn't like that"
<Moans quieting>
BRAIN: ", what Curse did I for?"
BRAIN: "Screw it, letballen try a different position" WOMAN: "OUCH"! Was
BRAIN: "Yeah....that a clear pain> the
WOMAN: "What you do?"
BRAIN: "Mayday! Mayday!"
BRAIN: "Take the Speed Off!" Accepted
BRAIN: "the Open blows" the
BRAIN: "Landing equipment" the
BRAIN: "voornaamste thrusters the
BRAIN Discharge" Make: "check Systems"
ME: "YOU allright"?
WOMAN: "Uh....yeah" the
BRAIN: "No system damage"
ME: "Allright, letballen try this again"
—Five minutes later on. ...computer well many takes over—
BRAIN: "Allright, back on away"
<Moans increasing in volume and frequency>
BRAIN: "the Target in view, hold position fast"
<Full body blush commencing>
BRAIN: "C'mon.......C'mon"
<Back arching>
BRAIN: "Hold him. .....Hold it. ...." The COMPUTER: tHE WARNING! WARNING! The COMPUTER: YOU ARE MISTAKEN FORGOT FORGOT--SELF tHE BRAIN: "the Oh moped" the COMPUTER: tHE SYSTEM OVERLOADS tHE THREATENING BRAIN: "the Oh moped, not yet!"
<Moaning above 80 decibals>
BRAIN: "Only a small longer" the COMPUTER: tHE DANGER WRAP INTEGRITY COMPUTER: tHE system overloading that the BRAIN BEGINS: "TO SCREW! I will not make him"
BRAIN: "the Pull from and go for handbook want to prepare" the COMPUTER: system overloading __________ t
he BRAIN: "the Pull out, pull from" the COMPUTER: tHE car pilots TOOK tHE BRAIN ON: "NO! UNENGAGE! UNENGAGE!" The COMPUTER: CLOSED tHE TARGET. ...TARGET CLOSED
BRAIN: "When I cum now will, him am too swift?"
BRAIN: "When I cum now, will it too shortly be?"
BRAIN: "When I cum now, will it too shortly be?"
The COMPUTER: <Target heart rate reached> The COMPUTER: <Breathing nominal> BRAIN: "Must....hold....on" the COMPUTER: <FEMALE ORGASM COMMENCING>
BRAIN: "can't.....hold the"
the COMPUTER:
<FEMALE ORGASM COMMENCING> BRAIN: "Be from of my control, are in the hands of God now" the COMPUTER: "tHE VOORNAAMSTE CHATTER: EJACULATING"
<keeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrr SPLAT!> The COMPUTER: "tHE AUTOMATIC SYSTEM CONNECTED OUT: BEGINNING"
<THUD> Are
WOMAN: "the Honig, you okay?"
ME: Yes. ....My head hurts. ..."
WOMAN: "Sad" <blush>
ME: No, the other head" the
WOMAN: "What"?
ME: Nothing"
ME: Did at you cum"
WOMAN: "What, you have not observed"
ME: Actual, I was kinda that also is busy on to notice"
WOMAN: "YOU Are so strange"
ME:
YOU would have to try zijnd the pilot next time" the W
OMAN: "Walking me, must I trouble From"
Find you ever that pre-orgasm expression on a fellows face funny? Ever wonder what he" Its pain is not feels Its not pleasure The deep, hard, boiling thought.
User Reviews
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2005-06-24 16:44:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I don't get the point of doing all this. It's just stupid. Lay off the drugs.
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2005-06-24 16:24:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
translated into retard?
Submitted by Vulva (user info) at 2005-06-24 13:31:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 <------------ Only one given by me on a friday...EVER!!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-06-24 13:09:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
what, did you translate this into Afrikaans then back to English?
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2005-06-24 12:53:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I bet this wont get 300k hits
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2005-06-24 12:48:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Electro (user info) at 2005-06-24 12:17:43 (#) Position: -2
Including YOU will screw. This post became ordered. The image became ordered. And you may, look the shitty.
Including YOU will screw.
The die.
Signed
Mcdoodle
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2005-06-24 12:46:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Im going to start a new language called double translation. Its going to be the biggest craze.
________
Im state a new language double translation mentioned to begin. Its state round the largest craze to be.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-06-24 12:39:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2005-06-24 12:17:43 (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck You. This post was ripped off. The picture was ripped off.
And you may it look shitty.
Fuck You.
Die.
Signed,
McDoodle. """
Autard.
Submitted by pantsarestupid (user info) at 2005-06-24 12:32:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You make my head hurt.
Submitted by mush (user info) at 2005-06-24 12:23:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I am thoroughly mind-fucked right now. I have no idea what is going on.
Help?
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2005-06-24 12:17:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck You. This post was ripped off. The picture was ripped off.
And you may it look shitty.
Fuck You.
Die.
Signed,
McDoodle.
Submitted by taurusfh (user info) at 2005-06-24 12:04:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Ummmm yeah
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-24 12:02:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A little background would have been nice