After the Breakup-Day 1 (879 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 0.95 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Insomniac (View user info) at 2005-06-24 13:34:02 EDT
Day 1
I'm not too sure that it's sunken in yet. I don't know if I fully realize the implications and ramifications of the situation we both find ourselves in. We've taken breaks before, but this one seems like for good. You want to see other people, while saying all along that you love me and want to see with me, and even have sex with me, but I don't think I can deal with that. I think you saw the hurt in my eyes when you got that phone call from Brandon asking you out on a date, and you accepted-at my house, right in front of me. I thought I could be strong, and wait this storm out, but when the shit hit the fan, I found myself lacking in courage. Or rather, I found myself overcome by emotion. Jealousy, sadness, and hurt, all covering up an underlying feeling of rage. I still don't know, and probably never will, who my rage was directed at. Was I angry at the woman at work who set you up with her son, knowing (perhaps-you said she did) that there was someone out there who cared so deeply for you? Or perhaps I was angry at the man himself, for daring to call and ask out the woman that I love and wanted to bear my children. But no, I think ultimately my anger was directed at you, for telling me you loved me and that you didn't want to hurt me, but blatantly doing this directly in front of me, so I could hear you, in my house, knowing that it would tear me apart inside. I do not know if I will be able to suppress my anger forever. I do not know if it will fade, or grow stronger. I do not know what the next stage of emotions will bring, but I do know this: a part of me is dying inside, a part of me has been betrayed, and I don't know if I will recover this part of me, because this part of me was yours and yours alone.
I understand why you need your space. I find it hard to accept, but part of me believes you when you say it has nothing to do with me. (The oldest line in the book, by the way, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt). After all, you were married when I met you, to the first man you ever shared an intimate moment with. To the first man you ever loved, and the first man you ever made love to. The only man you ever made love to. I was your second. And I know that you look at me, and think that I have all this experience, and the only reason I'm so sure about us is because I know what else is out there, and you need to be on your own because you do not. Well, I can tell you with 100% certainty and honesty that I would feel the same about you if you were the only person I had ever been with. I have loved you from the first moment we touched, from the first day we spent together, and even through the hard times, of which there were many, my love for you has never faded. I found myself in a position that everyone said was untenable, that it was foolish, and wrong, but I couldn't help myself. Love truly is blind, and I knew that if I could make the world right for you, then I could make it right with God. I knew that I would be forgiven for both of our great transgressions, if only I could show you the life and happiness that you so deserved. But you weren't happy with that. You grew curious about the world around you, and as soon as another man showed you some favor, albeit a drunken, horny sort of favor, you grew restless, and started looking elsewhere for others to do the same, even though you had it at home all along.
But I digress. This is the first day of many, and as such, could be seen as the hardest, or the easiest. I do not know where this will take either of us. What was once so certain has now become a mystery. Only a week ago I could close my eyes and see the future, but now all I see is darkness. I can no longer know what will happen day by day, every moment is now a reactionary function of my emotion, and each moment is a direct result of the one immediately proceeding. It has not fully hit me yet that you are gone, possibly never to return. All I have at the moment is hope, and for today, it's enough to get me by. For today, hope is better than reality, and so I will lose myself in it, and perhaps find some inner peace.
I know not what you are thinking, what you are feeling, and this is sad, as it is the first time since we've been together that I am in the dark as far as your mind is concerned. I hope you miss me, and for today, I will allow myself to be fooled by my love for you, which will never die. Tomorrow is a mystery to me, but it will come all too soon, and along with it, perhaps the realization that I am alone.
User Reviews
Submitted by InsoManiac (user info) at 2005-06-28 15:29:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jungle_Jimanee (user info) at 2005-06-28 09:11:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by InsoManiac (user info) at 2005-06-27 16:15:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by VoRn (user info) at 2005-06-26 12:09:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
She'll come back. Trust me. As long as you don't go begging after her. She'll realised what she left and come back. Unless you beat her up or something.
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Actually, she already did. I met a girl over the weekend, and she found out, and I don't know if she realized what we had, and that she missed it, or was just jealous, but she asked to get back together already.. Ill probably post about it later.. "
Ha Ha plus 2 for that, i was about to write and tell you about a friend of mine in the same situation, she even bought new lingerie and asked him if she looked good in it. That was for her other man.
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HOLY SHIT!!!! She just wrote me a text saying "Im trying on lingere" Wow, there really is true wisdom to be found here at Ubersite.. Astonishing..
Submitted by Jungle_Jimanee (user info) at 2005-06-28 09:11:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by InsoManiac (user info) at 2005-06-27 16:15:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by VoRn (user info) at 2005-06-26 12:09:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
She'll come back. Trust me. As long as you don't go begging after her. She'll realised what she left and come back. Unless you beat her up or something.
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Actually, she already did. I met a girl over the weekend, and she found out, and I don't know if she realized what we had, and that she missed it, or was just jealous, but she asked to get back together already.. Ill probably post about it later.. "
Ha Ha plus 2 for that, i was about to write and tell you about a friend of mine in the same situation, she even bought new lingerie and asked him if she looked good in it. That was for her other man.
Long and short of it, she was ostracized from their mutual friends, he found several others, last I saw them in a pub she was watching him flirt with someone else and spitting nails.
Careful though, she is fucking with you, keep your single lady friends happy and keep up your appearance. Playa!
Submitted by InsoManiac (user info) at 2005-06-28 08:48:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-06-27 17:06:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
Aw, I'm so sorry. It's hard. Very very hard. You'll be fine in about 2 1/2 years. Good as new.
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Hehe, well, thanks for that.
Its kind of satisfying now, knowing that I pined over her for months, and now she wants me back, and is kind of upset about it. I feel awful, I dont want her to be sad, but then I think about how sad Ive been forever, and I know that Im doing whats right for myself..
:-) Plus I met someone else.. Im such a pimp. HA! ;-P
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-06-27 17:06:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Aw, I'm so sorry. It's hard. Very very hard. You'll be fine in about 2 1/2 years. Good as new.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-06-27 16:45:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If you get back together with her, it's just going to be the same shit all over again. Just remind yourself of that.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-06-27 16:28:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by InsoManiac (user info) at 2005-06-27 16:15:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by VoRn (user info) at 2005-06-26 12:09:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
She'll come back. Trust me. As long as you don't go begging after her. She'll realised what she left and come back. Unless you beat her up or something.
----------------------------------------
Actually, she already did. I met a girl over the weekend, and she found out, and I dont know if she realized what we had, and that she missed it, or was just jealous, but she asked to get back together already.. Ill probably post about it later..
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Don't get back together with this bitch. She accepted a date with another guy in front of you, that is incredably low. She either has no feelings for you, or is too shallow and bitter to know what feelings are.
Submitted by InsoManiac (user info) at 2005-06-27 16:15:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by VoRn (user info) at 2005-06-26 12:09:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
She'll come back. Trust me. As long as you don't go begging after her. She'll realised what she left and come back. Unless you beat her up or something.
----------------------------------------
Actually, she already did. I met a girl over the weekend, and she found out, and I dont know if she realized what we had, and that she missed it, or was just jealous, but she asked to get back together already.. Ill probably post about it later..
Submitted by crazybutsolazy (user info) at 2005-06-26 12:36:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ouch, I hurt for you. Makes me feel guilty cause I'm sure my ex-fiance wrote something just like that when I broke up w/ him...oh well....he eventually got over it (I think) Drink a lot and fuck atleast 3 girls in the next wk. It helps I swear!
Submitted by VoRn (user info) at 2005-06-26 12:09:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
She'll come back. Trust me. As long as you don't go begging after her. She'll realised what she left and come back. Unless you beat her up or something.
Submitted by spidernutz (user info) at 2005-06-24 17:24:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It's like Too Short said, 'bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks.'
Don't dwell on this shit, it is not worth your time. Even if it is all you can think about.
Submitted by Dash (user info) at 2005-06-24 16:15:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I know how you feel. Same thing happened to me more or less, except not in front of me like she did with you. Just try to find comfort in knowing you're not the only one who has ever felt this way, and I'll tell you from experience, it does get better. I'm not at the point yet where I don't think about her, but I'm at the point where I wouldn't want to be with her again.
The memories and what she did to you will hurt the most, not getting her back won't.
Submitted by Deidra (user info) at 2005-06-24 14:57:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're better off without her. She's too immature for a serious relationship.
Submitted by congo (user info) at 2005-06-24 14:29:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bitchezzz.
Submitted by InsoManiac (user info) at 2005-06-24 14:16:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-06-24 14:11:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
I would share the lemonparty link with you, but given your present state of mind, I'm afraid it would cause you to harm yourself. I'll give you a hint: it's very, very gay.
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Hehe, ah. I think I will have to pass then. Not cuz I think I would harm myself, but because I am unable to not click on links, and it just so happens Im at work. Dont need that rumor goin around. ;-)
Submitted by Spuds002 (user info) at 2005-06-24 14:13:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
if she need to shop around, then she's not that into it to begin with. let it go. it will pass in time. don't even see her. don't talk to her. when she comes crawling back, reject her.
oh yeah, fuck all her friends.
Submitted by Vulva (user info) at 2005-06-24 14:11:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Find yourself a good Uberbroad...they take great care of their men!
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-06-24 14:11:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would share the lemonparty link with you, but given your present state of mind, I'm afraid it would cause you to harm yourself. I'll give you a hint: it's very, very gay.
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-06-24 14:00:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I had to get that in before trouble started...
Anyway, I'm actually amazed at how jaded I've become because of this very thing.
It won't hurt forever dude, but don't let it kill that part of you that is hurting (if that makes sense). You'll end up bitter and kind of an asshole (like me) and no one wants that.
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-06-24 13:58:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by InsoManiac (user info) at 2005-06-24 13:55:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-06-24 13:47:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
If this is non-fiction, which I'm pretty sure it is, I'm very sorry. Breakups are hard.
Get drunk with your friends and have a "Women are Evil" party (not to be confused with a lemonparty).
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It is. :-( Whats a lemonparty?
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DON'T ASK!!
Submitted by InsoManiac (user info) at 2005-06-24 13:55:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-06-24 13:47:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
If this is non-fiction, which I'm pretty sure it is, I'm very sorry. Breakups are hard.
Get drunk with your friends and have a "Women are Evil" party (not to be confused with a lemonparty).
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It is. :-( Whats a lemonparty?
Submitted by Darth_Adwain (user info) at 2005-06-24 13:55:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I find these stories repetitive and extreamly boring
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-24 13:54:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
poor you. drink a lot.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2005-06-24 13:50:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"skate it off"
______________
"not to be confused with a lemonparty"
bwahahahahaha!
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-06-24 13:47:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If this is non-fiction, which I'm pretty sure it is, I'm very sorry. Breakups are hard.
Get drunk with your friends and have a "Women are Evil" party (not to be confused with a lemonparty).
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2005-06-24 13:42:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-06-24 13:36:01 (#)
Ranking: 0
I have bad news for you - she is going to fuck a LOT more guys in the weeks to come.
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Bad news for her- Most of them will be as big or bigger assholes than me.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-06-24 13:41:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
She told you that you were her second, but she meant THAT DAY.....sorry buddy, other snapper in the sea.
Submitted by RaineLark (user info) at 2005-06-24 13:39:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The best thing to do is...get over it! Drink a beer, smoke a bowl.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-06-24 13:36:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have bad news for you - she is going to fuck a LOT more guys in the weeks to come.