There Aint Nothin' Like A Good Guzzle (765 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.27 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by cumguzzler (View user info) at 2005-06-24 14:30:54 EDT
There may be people who find it distasteful, especially women, and those who liken my favorite activity with the late-night fumblings of wayward souls in peep show booths and TruckStop 76 bathrooms, but I am here to tell you that draining every last drop of cum from a warm and willing cock is a delight that should not be passed over.
Honestly, if, for some unknown reason you make your way into a fiery oven or an unmarked grave for the long dirt nap without sampling this delectable delicacy, you've surely missed out on one of the most spectacular taste/sight/scent sensations on God's green earth.
I myself am a well-known glory hole pig in the circles in which I...circulate, and as such I have a very extensive library of personal experience to draw from as I pleasure each and every swollen cock. I believe it is women who are most eager to learn my tricks, as every man I've blown, even the so-called "straight" men say that my cocksucking technique blows any woman they've had out of the water.
My God I'm getting hard as I write this.
Maybe it's the way I keep my tongue firm and moist as I take their cocks in my mouth as far as humanly possible. Or perhaps it's the way I gently massage a man's anus in circular motions as I bob up and down on his cock. Whatever the case, I'm in high demand in these parts. Since the places I haunt are by nature anonymous, I've printed out homemade business cards with my prepaid cellular number and a suggestive graphic. Let me tell you, my ravenous appetite for cum never goes unsatisfied for long.
Forgive me if it seems like I'm bragging. I have to admit that I probably am. I deserve the praise. I'm worth it.
Right now I have a large uncircumcised cock paging me. I'm going to shave and apply some chapstick before heading down to my local state park bathroom. Usually there's no conversation between me and a "cock", but I happen to know that this guy is going through a divorce so I'm going to make it my personal mission to give him the sucking of his life.
Catch ya on the DL,
cumguzzler
User Reviews
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-06-26 14:29:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was funny.
You certainly have some talent there gaylord alter boy.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-06-24 20:11:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This fucking made me laugh my ass off. I am half tempted to give it a +1 because I'm bitter I didn't post it first.
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2005-06-24 19:36:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This asshole is quickly moving up my list of favorite users.
Submitted by Deidra (user info) at 2005-06-24 19:15:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by cumguzzler (user info) at 2005-06-24 17:51:34 (#)
Ranking: 0
Deidra,
You strike me as a woman who has a hard time getting a guy to screw you so you settled for the first one that could slip between your folds of fat. And of course he also has a small cock. So now you're incredibly bitter and you take out your frustrations on others. Bravo.
Don't hate me because I get more (and better) cock than you do!
Love,
cummy
---------------------------------
Cummy,
You don't strike me.. at all.
Thanks for playing!
Deidra
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-06-24 18:05:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by cumguzzler (user info) at 2005-06-24 17:51:34 (#)
Ranking: 0
Deidra,
You strike me as a woman who has a hard time getting a guy to screw you so you settled for the first one that could slip between your folds of fat. And of course he also has a small cock. So now you're incredibly bitter and you take out your frustrations on others. Bravo.
Don't hate me because I get more (and better) cock than you do!
Love,
cummy
----------------
Deidra = PWNED (by a ghey fag no less, DOUBLE PWNAGE!!)
Submitted by cumguzzler (user info) at 2005-06-24 17:51:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Deidra,
You strike me as a woman who has a hard time getting a guy to screw you so you settled for the first one that could slip between your folds of fat. And of course he also has a small cock. So now you're incredibly bitter and you take out your frustrations on others. Bravo.
Don't hate me because I get more (and better) cock than you do!
Love,
cummy
Submitted by Deidra (user info) at 2005-06-24 17:00:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by cumguzzler (user info) at 2005-06-24 14:36:49 (#)
Ranking: 0
I am NOT gay. I just like to suck cock!
---------------------------------------
I am NOT straight. I just like to suck cock!
what the hell man? isn't that closet a bit cramped?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-06-24 15:35:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Y'know, it's nice to see the Olde World craftmanship and pride that you take in your work - I salute you, cumguzzler!
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-06-24 15:00:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I suck "one" cock and I'm a cocksucker for life
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-06-24 14:53:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks for sharing.
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2005-06-24 14:52:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Zoidberg made an alter!
Submitted by cumguzzler (user info) at 2005-06-24 14:38:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not Catholic, but I attend mass with friends.
Submitted by cleveland_steamer (user info) at 2005-06-24 14:37:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That makes no sense.... "I am not gay, I just peform gay deeds"
Submitted by cumguzzler (user info) at 2005-06-24 14:36:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I am NOT gay. I just like to suck cock!
Submitted by RaineLark (user info) at 2005-06-24 14:36:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-24 14:36:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thankyou for writing this- I'm not sure if you are boasting, or advertising for men to suck or what.
Submitted by cleveland_steamer (user info) at 2005-06-24 14:36:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
fag
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2005-06-24 14:35:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Y halo thar mothseck.