Classmates.com saga Part 3.5 (1273 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.52 on 34 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jay "Don't forget to vote jgreening in UberMadness" Peg (View user info) at 2005-06-26 18:49:59 EDT
Part 1: http://www.ubersite.com/m/68406
Part 2: http://www.ubersite.com/m/67498
Part 3: http://www.ubersite.com/m/68932
The focus of this post is at the bottom of the 3rd post, but if you haven't read the whole thing, go ahead and do so.
SO...
I was stuck with the question of what to do with the girl, Kimberly West.
People have said to go to LA and get pictures, or get laid, or whatever.
I live in Denver, and as much as I would want to fly to LA to just totally fuck with her, I'm a poor bastard, and I couldn't afford the $250 round trip plus missing a day of work, so I began to hatch a plan that would only cost me about $50, I would hope.
After having called her on Tuesday, telling her it would have to wait a week, I got a company directory from the hotel chain I work for and found a property in LA.
I waited until after 11PM on Thursday to call, to make sure I got the night auditor. They tend to be a bit more receptive to taking money for seedy acts, I've found. I know this, because both night auditors at my hotel are cash hungry hustlers who skirt on the fringes of theft every night.
Anyway, I'm getting off point.
I called the night auditor.
I told him I worked for a Wingate Inn in Denver, and I told him I would need a room for the weekend (June 25-26), and I asked what the chances were to get a room for free that night.
He informed me that he couldn't give me a free room, but he could probably get it booked at about $75.
So now I appealed to his greedy side.
I told him I actually needed the room to pull a stunt on someone I knew, and since the room wouldn't *actually* be used, if there was any way I could slide him, say, $50 to help me out.
He said he'd have to think about it, and could he call me back?
Sure, no problem.
So, Friday night he (Chris) called me at my hotel and told me he'd need to know everything going on, just to make sure nothing would get broken or destroyed, so I told him everything.
I told him about Uber, about the series of posts, and about the specific post and person.
He read the stuff, and afterwards, wholeheartedly agreed to help out.
A quick PayPal transfer later, and I was in business.
He would reserve room 243 for Saturday night and use the Trip Rewards credit of a frequent guest to pay for it.
All I asked of Chris was to put a note saying "I changed my mind, I would never use a slore in my videos." And to tell her when she came down, that if she asked, the man who had booked the room had left about 5 minutes beforehand.
He agreed again.
So I called the girl back and told her all the information.
Where the hotel was, when to get there, what to say when she got to the hotel, what to wear, etc etc etc, and she was all set and ready.
Saturday night rolls around, and I get a call from Chris saying that a woman had just picked up a key for the room.
WONDERFUL!
He also told me the woman had to be about 5'4", and a bit more than hefty.
YIKES!
So I just start chatting with him about random hotel things like how many rooms we have, what kind of occupancy rates they get, how often the meeting rooms are booked, boring stuff like that. Just killing time until she walks back down to the lobby.
I had to wait about 2 minutes.
Over the phone I can hear, "GOD DAMN IT THAT FUCKER FUCKING LIED TO ME GOD DAMNIT I'LL FUCKING FIND HIM AND KILL HIM!"
She was a loud one.
Probably a screamer in bed.
Thank god I never had to find out.
Chris set the phone down, and started talking with her.
And by talking, I mean saying "ma'am" and "Calm down" and "please be quiet" and "I'm sorry" about 20 times while she cussed on and on about finding where "that asshole fucker" lives and "ending him within an inch of his life".
I have no idea how you can end someone ALMOST to death, but she was a bit mad, so I'll give her the benefit of the doubt.
Anyway, after letting her know that he (I) had left a few minutes before she pulled in, she asked if maybe he could give her the address used by the person booking the room.
To my surprise, he actually gave her an address!
So she stormed off, and he got back on the phone.
I asked him what address he had given her, and he told me it was for a Hampden Inn about 10 miles away, and that he would have to get back to me, because he was going to call and warn them.
I guess he knew the auditor there, too.
When everything was said and done, the two auditors had sent her on a wild goose chase for the better part of 3 hours in the middle of the night.
Thinking everything was finished, I logged onto AIM Sunday morning (this morning).
It took about 15 seconds.
KWest1997: YOU GOD DAMN COCKSUCKER WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU SICK FUCKARD!?!?!?!
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User Reviews
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-11-17 13:56:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-11-17 13:54:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK WE BELIEVE YOUR TRUE/NOT TRUE LABEL YOU RETARDED FAT MONKEYGREASE EATING SPASTIC
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-11-17 13:48:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Lie.
Submitted by krissi (user info) at 2005-07-25 13:46:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahaha.
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2005-06-28 09:27:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2005-06-27 20:37:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MisterDevious (user info) at 2005-06-27 17:11:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Would have been better to do it to someone you DID go to high school with...I've a number of people on my "Class of '86" shit list that could use this kind of treatment. Excellent use of your work skills--think you can put it on your resume somehow?
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-06-27 16:35:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Tee hee. I have no wish to reminice about the shitty days with a bunch of tools that probably didn't like me, just I didn't like them.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-06-27 15:51:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
at least you finished it.
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2005-06-27 15:07:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dad? Is that you? Fat chicks on tape make baby jesus cry.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-06-27 14:26:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You really need a hobby.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-06-27 14:18:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Everyone was born to be fucked with.... Except me.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-06-27 14:17:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's more like it!!!!!
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2005-06-27 14:07:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hooray for hurting a fat chicks feelings and the insight into the seedy underbelly of the hotel business!
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-06-27 12:50:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You're right, Shlongy, it's not.
Although she IS blocked on my AIM, and I have *zero* plans on calling back and setting anything really up.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-06-27 12:35:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I don't believe a word of this post but it wasn't a bad fantasy.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-06-27 11:04:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And if you're talking about the Net usage, here at the rink, the internet policy is "No porn, no flash games, no viruses. Other than that, it's OK"
That's word for word from my boss.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-06-27 10:54:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Rad, this is nothing compared to the shit I do to mess with guests sometimes.
Besides, we cancelled the room and gave the guy his points back, so it all worked out.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-27 10:51:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Stay tuned for the next episode of:
"How Übersite Got Jay'I didn't learn my lesson the first time' Peg Fired From Another Dead End Job"
Submitted by Deidra (user info) at 2005-06-27 10:24:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Too funny
Submitted by missflibble (user info) at 2005-06-27 10:10:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you are now my god. I bow down unto three.
thee sorry. dyslexic.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-06-27 09:56:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-06-26 21:46:47 (#)
Ranking: 0
You think, TonyM?
This is the first one you've reviewed, so you sure they all suck?
Or do you just not like me, like a lot of others?
That's *my* guess, fuckwad.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by TonyMontana (user info) at 2005-06-26 21:34:47 (#)
Ranking: -2
this stupid shit is not funny. get it through your fucking greasy, fat head you untalented waste of space.
=========================
Don't you know?
Tony is a secret super imortant doctor for NASA. Nothing you do can ever compare to the money he is going to make. In his eyes you're a poor waste of space.
Of course Tony is delusional, and he just gets off on a tangent after watching ER reruns. Because we all know that recent Med school graduates would rather be logging on to uber instead of doing all the mandatory residencies.
This was cool
Submitted by Slighty_Obnoxious (user info) at 2005-06-27 02:25:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Heart warming.
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2005-06-27 01:10:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome.
Submitted by OneCheapGeek (user info) at 2005-06-27 00:52:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Pussy.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-27 00:48:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why does everyone on this site eventually turn into a massive stalker?
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-06-26 21:46:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You think, TonyM?
This is the first one you've reviewed, so you sure they all suck?
Or do you just not like me, like a lot of others?
That's *my* guess, fuckwad.
Submitted by TonyMontana (user info) at 2005-06-26 21:34:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
this stupid shit is not funny. get it through your fucking greasy, fat head you untalented waste of space.
Submitted by Or_ (user info) at 2005-06-26 21:14:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment I guess.
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-06-26 20:24:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2005-06-26 19:46:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Spuds002 (user info) at 2005-06-26 19:04:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh god i hope this is true
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2005-06-26 18:57:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Better...
Submitted by Kazzerax (user info) at 2005-06-26 18:54:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice. Now go rate my fucking post.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-06-26 18:53:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Blatant lies, but of the good kind.