cinco de mayo story on 27 june. Bored in a tent in the middle of fucking nowhere germany (571 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.6 on 7 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by TheRef (View user info) at 2005-06-26 23:11:54 EDT
I was just recently stateside for a training tdy. I was at keesler afb in biloxi mississippi. great fucking place. while i was there i got to partake in some very american rituals and celebrations most noteworthy was cinco de mayo. For those who don't know what cinco de mayo is, it is just another reason to get drunk. I'm sure it has something to do with the mexicans but like good americans, we stole it. Myself and a couple buddies from class went to this restaurant,actually the parking lot, where they had a live band playing and about a 3-1 ratio of girls to guys. Hot girls to guys. Titties were popping out everywhere.short skirts. thongs sticking out. the good american shit you miss when you are stationed overseas. good times to be had by all.
i should have known it wouldn't last long. the almost always dependable night ender showed its ugly face in the form of shots handed out by big tittied waitresses.
jager
those in the know, know that i have a close personal relationship with jagermeister. dave is to jagermeister as tommy is to pam..
Jagermeister
Hot chicks
More jagermeister
equals....
Dave making a complete ass of himself in typical dave fashion.
Things not to do when your drunk and trying to get laid..
1)nice shoes, wanna fuck does not work.....no matter how many chicks you try it on.
2)there is no mirror in your pocket
3) "hi, i'm dave" really sounds like "aye, erm davvveeeee" after 23 shots of jager.
4)asking some random dude about some chick he is with only to find out the "dude" was really a lesbian and the chick was his....errrr...her woman.
5)singing fuck tha police as loud as you can in the presence of what seemed like a hundred cops is not healthy. They take your alcohol and kick you out of the party.
that was my night.
-dave
p.s. FUCK THA POLICE, FUCK THA POLICE, FUCK'EM
that leads me to this... 27 june 05....
playing r-me
so i am sitting in this tent all by my lonesome doing jack shit. this is how the air force plays army. my whole squadron packed up and moved to some remote airfiled and setup. this is all fine and dandy. it is actaully really fun to do. the only problem is, the air force likes its weekends off. so when you have all your equipment deployed to the middle of fucking nowhere, you can't just leave it by itself can you? thus, i am here. voluntold to babysit shit i don't really give a rats ass about. all weekend i get to sit out with a gun and make sure no one steals our shit. i think they call it firewatch.
so what do you do when your all by yourself?
1)masterbate on your bosses portable desk
2)bring a mini grill and cook out next to fuel tankers
3)pee anywhere you want (port-a-potties be damned!!!)
4) invite your friends out. watch them get drunk. drink near beer. cry yourself to sleep.
i'm bored and your all coming down with me
-dave
User Reviews
Submitted by TheRef (user info) at 2005-06-27 13:42:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i have been here and there. my job in the air force requires me to travel alot. i have been mostly traveling around europe and playing r-me with the dudes i work with. that and i am usually too drunk to even spell ubersite let alone actaully type something coherant on it.
-dave
how the fuck did this site get more than 12000 users? when did that happen.
it makes me (705) feel really fucking old.
Submitted by ellsmall (user info) at 2005-06-27 00:37:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
All loyal Americans should join our Mexican brothers in celebrating Cinco de Mayo as they commemorates their great victory over the imperalist FRENCH army of Nappy III. That's right the French got their asses handed to them by a bunch of greasy Mexicans. Viva Mexico!
As a former resident of Keesler AFB I'm glad to see the USAF is keeping up its fine traditions of boredom and drunkenness. Hope you're enjoying yourself.
Submitted by Deidra (user info) at 2005-06-27 00:06:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually my husband used the "Nice shoes.. wanna fuck?" line on me. It didn't work, but it was a conversation starter.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2005-06-27 00:01:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How've you been?
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2005-06-26 23:16:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude you must have really fucked up. The uniform should have been enough to seal the deal.
Silly silly men and their silly silly lines. Good luck with the watching shit.
Submitted by 2x4fun (user info) at 2005-06-26 23:16:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-06-26 23:16:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Long time no see.