Episode 3: Terry the Turtle Amphibian - "Dieter Duck is a Tattletale." (762 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.95 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Danger Ranger <harveyra.at.iprimus.com.au> (View user info) at 2005-06-27 06:53:16 EDT
http://www.ubersite.com/m/68358 - pilot (episode 1)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/68377 - pilot (episode 2)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/68389 - pilot (episode 3)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/68404 - pilot (episode 4)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/68493 - pilot (episode 5)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/68631 - series (episode 1)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/68753 - series (episode 2)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/68815 - series (episode 3)
The Fat Immigration Minister sat back in her high-backed leather chair and swung ever so gently back and forth, for fear of the gas lift cylinder snapping and dumping her uncerimoniously on her whopping fat arse - like yesterday. She was very cross. She sighed and looked at the angry, little yellow duck seated opposite her and then back at the sketches on her desk. She leant forward and punched the intercom with a very stubby finger..
"Gut me thar Emunciatud Cuntrollah." she sudd to hur recuptionist. "Ahnd ahn interprutah, for thar duck.."
"Yas Marm," replied hur recuptionist. "Shall Ah brung some tea?"
Thar Fart Immugration Munistar looked buck at thar duck. "No, brung hum some brudd." She dupressed thar intacom button ahnd stared quizzicully larrk at it as it struggled evar so bravely larrk to pop buck up.
"Stoopud muchine.." she thought to 'erself larrk, "Made bar foriegnars Ah'd expuct.."
Thar stoopud muchine made bar foriegners burst into larrfe. "Ring- Ring!" ut sudd. "Ring- Ring!"
Thar Fart Immugration Minister leant evar so gently larrk forwarrd so as not to snap thar gas lift cylindar ahnd face-plant 'erself on 'er dusk larrk thus mornin', ahnd pucked up thar phone..
"Yus?"
"Ah've got thar Emunciatud Cuntrollah on line eleventy-one, Munistar - shall Ah put 'im through larrk?"
"Yus, put 'im through.."
"And thar interprutah wull be 'ere in an 'our.."
"Excullent. Who dud you gut?"
Thar Waterfowl Hunter, Marm - we wuz evar so lucky - 'e is at 'is Theme Park ahnd not unywhaar ovarseas larrk.."
"Good. Put the Cuntrollah through, please."
"Hullo, Cuntrollah.."
"Wah hullo, Muninstar, top of thar mornin' to yarr.."
"Is ut, Cuntrollah? Whar's Turry?"
"Wah in 'is tank, Muninstar..."
"Are you sure abou' thart Cuntrollah?
"Wah, yus, of course, General Burkhalter, no one hus evar escaped frum Stalag Aquarium!"
"Whart dud you just call me?"
"Oh, nuthin', Munistar, only a term of endearmunt, you sux kittun.. wah do you ask?"
"Lut's just say a luttle birdie told me.." she sudd wunkin' at Dieter Duck. Thar Fart Immugration Muninstar leant forward again evar so carefully larrk and perused thar skutches... "Ah 'ave it on vurry good authoritah thart Turry hus been carvortin' larrk abou' thar place with Butman.."
"Buttman, Munistar?"
"Yus, Butman, Cuntrollah.."
"But thart's impussible, Munistar, Wulliamson hus only just left 'ere farve minutes ago..."
"Not 'Buttman', you imbucile - 'Butman' - thar caped crusadar.."
"Ohhhhhh, 'But'man... wull, Ah don't see 'ow thart's pussible, Munistar, Turry doesn't evun know Butman or Bruce Wayne.."
"Wull you won't marrnd me comin' ovar to chuck, larrk, wull yar?"
"Certainly not, Munistar, we've nuthin' to harrd at Stalag Aquarium!"
"Good. Wull be thar soon, thun, I trust you 'ave my quartars ruddy?"
"Oh, yus, Munistar, evurything is just thar way you larrk it.." Thar Emunciatud Cuntrollah hung up thar phone ahnd quuckly chucked 'is bed. 'E wuz vurry proud. Envuloped cornared, tucked and folded, smoothed and strutched, without a single offunding crease or bulge, larrk thar greaseproof paper round a pound of butter..
'E wuz vurry excitud. 'E 'ad imungined 'imself wuth thar Fart Immugration Munistar on 'is bed - evar so gently larrk... thar were wubsites for people larrk 'im..
Thar Fart Immugration Munistar eyed Dieter Duck eatin' 'is brudd. "If these skutches of yours are accurute, Ducky, thar Emunciatud Cuntrollah is goin' to 'ave a lot of tarm to muss 'is mum on thar Middle Easturn frunt.."
Ahnd wuth thart thar two Tory bustards luffed ahnd luffed..
User Reviews
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-11-06 17:08:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Highly enjoyable.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-07-08 20:18:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dang it! Where's the next one, Danger?
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-07-08 20:18:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hmmmmm... interesting..
I'm gonna have to study it some more
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-07-05 07:24:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Send some of those drugs my way.
The blues are going to win tomorrow night!!
I promise I won't rub it in this time.
FUCKERS!
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-07-05 07:08:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Buttman?
God I hate you...
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-06-30 06:16:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Cracking toast Grommit.
Wine Daniel? Hope it's a 'nosey' red... I know nothing about bongs.
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2005-06-30 06:08:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cracking.
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2005-06-30 05:51:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
get out.
Those drawings were a bong-hit, and this wine has hot pants. get out. +++
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-06-28 20:13:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-27 10:02:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
admit you got help with the pictures.
--------------------------
I told you C1ndy, the duck did them. What? You think this series is fiction??
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-06-27 16:57:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-06-27 10:39:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm in a place where I can't burst out laughing so I'm trying not to and it's making tears come out of my eyes.
--------------------------
You're on patrol in the steamy jungles of Vietnam surrounded by Charlie?
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-06-27 11:46:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-06-27 10:42:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-06-27 10:23:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
Smartarse? Me?
You me comfortable ass I think..
-----------------------------
That's some impressive double entendre you got going there Merlina...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I liked it.. *grin*
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-06-27 10:42:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-06-27 10:23:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
Smartarse? Me?
You me comfortable ass I think..
-----------------------------
That's some impressive double entendre you got going there Merlina...
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-06-27 10:39:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm in a place where I can't burst out laughing so I'm trying not to and it's making tears come out of my eyes.
People are looking at me because my shoulders are shaking.
Thanks a lot Danger.
Great stuff!
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-06-27 10:24:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I meant to say "you mean"
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-06-27 10:23:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Smartarse? Me?
You me comfortable ass I think..
http://www.ubersite.com/m/60376
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2005-06-27 10:11:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That was wonderful.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-27 10:02:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
admit you got help with the pictures.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-27 10:01:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You were thinking of having the Emunciatud Cuntrollah engage in realtions with that cow of a minister you fuckers have over thar?
That is some serious line crossing.
sicko prevurt
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-06-27 08:41:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
vurry...
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-06-27 08:20:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Isn't it?
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-06-27 08:14:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-06-27 07:49:29 (#)
Ranking: 2
Danger - you almost crossed the line on this one.
The homosexuality I can take.
-------------------
Disgusting.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-06-27 07:57:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
All *shudder* is forgiven.
I liked my character in "Diana's Soused Chauffeur Makes Dodi his Bitch" much better though. You know, not as "ruthlessly oppressive" and "sexually perverted" and "Liverpudlian", though the latter can't be helped.
Keep doing *shudder* what you do.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-06-27 07:53:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
surry..
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-06-27 07:49:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Danger - you almost crossed the line on this one.
The homosexuality I can take, the animal cruelty I can take, but the thought of being on Amanda Vanstone's side repulses me.
I'm going to need an apology.
Submitted by OneCheapGeek (user info) at 2005-06-27 07:32:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't get it, but I hear you're rather sensitive.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-06-27 07:18:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-06-27 07:13:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
is that the seven dwarfs in the picture...?
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Smartarse.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-06-27 07:13:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
is that the seven dwarfs in the picture...?
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-06-27 06:55:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ummmm, 4. It's episode 4..