Ubersite
Home - About Us - Contact
"Work is the scourge of the drinking classes." - Oscar Wilde
Welcome to Ubersite!
Search Ubersite
Search for:

Most Recently Reviewed
  1. Majul Cartoons is a faggot
  2. How To Find That Annoying ...
  3. Netimportant
  4. Space Tourist Richard Garr...
  5. You Moron Yanks Seem To Th...
  6. Sophia Loren
  7. GrUeBERfest is good for yo...
  8. My adventures in a White C...
  9. Norway - Nation of Darknes...
  10. Bigger than Maddox... Oh, ...
more...
Most Heated
  1. This is a serious writers ... (67 heat)
  2. Norway - Nation of Darknes... (57 heat)
  3. People Like This Need To B... (53 heat)
  4. Bigger than Maddox... Oh, ... (47 heat)
  5. McCunt (or, John McCain Sh... (37 heat)
  6. Porn (32 heat)
  7. Is Tom Brokaw gonna BITCHS... (27 heat)
  8. Jack McCallum thanks for t... (23 heat)
  9. Should you kill yourself? (23 heat)
  10. Presidential Campain Capti... (23 heat)
more...
Most Viewed Messages
  1. The Ultimate MS Paint: It... (1143377 hits)
  2. "If I cum now, will it be ... (699008 hits)
  3. Exploiting Peer-to-Peer Ne... (385817 hits)
  4. How To Pick Up Chicks (325740 hits)
  5. Motivating the Weekend (305477 hits)
  6. Knockoff porn movie titles (300451 hits)
  7. My J-Date Misadventure (286201 hits)
  8. Licking A Bum's Ass (249757 hits)
  9. Badass Australian Cows (246884 hits)
  10. Totally Useless Facts (231191 hits)
more...
Most Viewed Authors
  1. Bart Cilfone (1455118 hits)
  2. Stanley Moore (1440210 hits)
  3. JMG114 (1378470 hits)
  4. Razor (1373072 hits)
  5. MickGinny (1283333 hits)
  6. loki (1060507 hits)
  7. Jonukah (972753 hits)
  8. weeeeep (923086 hits)
  9. outed (898707 hits)
  10. Cat Crooner Extraordinaire (884295 hits)
  11. Ubersite needs me! (876079 hits)
  12. Asian Men Love Me (873233 hits)
  13. Tom (831691 hits)
  14. Sideburns, MUHFUCKA (805680 hits)
  15. apollo88 (761613 hits)
  16. oy vey (754128 hits)
  17. T+I+G+E+R (750021 hits)
  18. Sorrell (742790 hits)
  19. Satan is my Motor (688758 hits)
  20. RON PAUL 2008! (684025 hits)
  21. HIDDEN101 (682719 hits)
  22. Sock Penis™ (677437 hits)
  23. Phil Phone (639397 hits)
  24. Todd White (639254 hits)
  25. T to the ToM (626286 hits)
  26. iddqd (618738 hits)
  27. kaos-king (603689 hits)
  28. comicbookguy (587513 hits)
  29. ♥ (581811 hits)
  30. O (577493 hits)
Click here to return to the list of messages.

Six long years (292 hits)

Category: General

Rating: 1 on 2 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Labels:

Submitted by Squijee <geoffrstone.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-06-28 09:58:10 EDT


John could see himself in Graham.

------------------------------------------------
I realise that many people would take that last sentence completely out of context. It's a great leap of faith that I, the author, am taking by leaving that sentence there untouched. It's a trust thing, so please don't disappoint me.
------------------------------------------------

John watched Graham and felt that he was watching a concentrated version of himself.

John understood that he was only one person, and Graham was only one person, and so to have himself represented by the same quantity of people was not really a 'concentrated' version of himself, but he couldn't think of any other word to describe it. Anyway, he felt he was probably taller than the actor anyway, so he could get away with the definition on a physical level, although 'emotionally' is what he really meant in his heart. He also argued in his own mind that he could get away with it based on the fact that he would only be seeing Graham for a short amount of time, and in that time he would accomplish what John hoped to accomplish, and so it was a concentrated version with respect to time. That having been sorted in his mind, he returned to watching the film.

------------------------------------------------
What THE FUCK is he going on about? Why am I writing this guy's story? This seems to be an utter waste of my time. Time I could better spend playing Jenga or Jenga Junior. I wonder if there would be a market for Travel Jenga? Nah, I imagine it'd be rubbish. If the car hit a bump the thing would fall over and the game would be over. Now what the hell is going on with John?
------------------------------------------------

Graham was in love. As is too frequently the case, the object of Graham's affections did not know that she was being loved. It was a dreadful turn of events, but one which made wonderful viewing.

John knew what was coming up. He knew they'd end up together. He didn't figure that out early in the film, but rather from the promotional poster a week earlier. The poster featured Graham and his 'object' Deborah peering sheepishly at each other from around the title of the film, which had manifested itself as a physical barrier between the two characters in a rebellious act of symbolism. It was the type of thing that John felt that he should 'cluck' to himself about, but unfortunately, for all the times he'd seen that verb mentioned in books to indicate mild disbelief at the banality of something, he wasn't exactly sure what 'clucking' was. He'd heard hens do it, but he doubted it was the same thing.

Still, John had bought a ticket and was enjoying analysing all the aspects of the film. He felt the story was utterly pedestrian, yet he was fascinated by Graham. John felt that by writing a character like Graham, the screenwriter obviously understood John feelings. These feelings were feelings of frustration, anger and exhaustion, all directed inward. John knew it was him.

------------------------------------------------
Christ, this is fast turning into a bad episode of Dr. Phil. He thinks he's a vastly complex being that no-one understands? He thinks that he's remarkably unique? YOU'RE FUCKING NORMAL, JOHN. LIFE IS SIMPLE, JOHN. The more complex you try make yourself, the more complex your life will be. I need a drink.
------------------------------------------------

Graham was halfway through the yacht race he'd entered to win Deborah's heart. His boat sprung a leak and started sinking. It sunk. Graham thought he was going to die.

John's mind was so numb at the silliness of this part of the story that it prompted him to use the word 'mindnumbing' to describe it.

Upon being rescued, Graham had a new perspective on life. He was seeing the world through new eyes. Upon reaching the shore, he walked up to Deborah, gave her a piece of his boat, and kissed her passionately. The credits rolled.

------------------------------------------------
Thank God that's over.
------------------------------------------------

John walked out of the cinema. He thought that the story was awful. He thought the editing was terrible. He thought the dialogue was deplorable. But he was Graham. And he was going to walk right up to Sarah and give her a piece of his boat. John thought about this, realised he didn't have a boat, and settled on giving her himself instead. He had purpose.

------------------------------------------------
Hey, that was a nice ending. I guess something was learnt here. This wasn't a complete waste of my time.
------------------------------------------------

As John left the cinema complex and walked out onto the open street, he wondered where to start. He could catch a bus to Sarah's and knock on her door, but what if she wasn't home? He didn't have her phone number, so he couldn't call her. He could see her tmorrow at uni, though. He'd have to wait until tomorrow. He'd have to sleep on it.

------------------------------------------------
Fuck.
------------------------------------------------

Submit to Digg Submit to StumbleUpon

User Reviews


Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-06-28 11:28:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Confusing but interesting. I like the style but I could have used a little more background.

Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2005-06-28 10:19:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Karl: You don't belong here. You're a fraud and a phony and it's only
a matter of time until they find you out.

Homer: (gasps) Who told you?

Simpson and Delilah


All right, I have thought this through. I will send Bart the money to
fly home, then I will murder him.

-- Homer Simpson
Bart on the Road