The List: The Story (585 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.53 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Ainkara (View user info) at 2005-06-28 10:05:23 EDT
If the title makes no sense, that's ok.
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"I'll just go get the massage oil baby," said Dan, walking to the bathroom. He couldn't resist looking back at Sarah and grinning.
"That's nice. But no," replied Sarah, sticking her tongue out.
"Oh come on," he begged, "Something? Iceblocks? Strawberries and cream? No? I'll be in the bathroom then..." Dan sighed, and walked half heartedly to the bathroom. He would never have told Sarah, but he was glad of these moments alone in the bathroom. He found something strangely theraputic about staring at himself in the mirror. Lately, however, he couldn't look in his own eyes for long. There was something there he was not used to, and didn't like very much.
After a few seconds of staring intently into his own eyes, he looked away and opened the bathroom cabinet. He smiled at the sight of the massage oil, and picked it up. Behind it was a bottle of baby oil, which caused a moment of excitement.
"Massage oil and baby oil..." he muttered, "Twice the slippery goodness. I'll have to suggest that some time..."
As he continued to scan the cabinet, a small bottle in the corner caught his eye. The label on it was made out to Sarah Garret, with instructions to take one pill once daily. He briefly wondered why Sarah would be taking medication, then realised he shouldn't be looking through her cabinet. He placed the massage oil back, closed the door and splashed his face with cold water before walking back out to where Sarah was seated, watching TV.
"Oh good, you came back. I was scared you went out the window," she said with a smile, while getting up. "Put the movie in while I go make some popcorn, ok?"
He watched her walk out of the room before he moved towards the DVD player sitting on the floor. He could hear her walking around the kitchen, pouring oil into a saucepan. For some reason Sarah refused to have microwaved popcorn. She said she just felt better about cooking it herself. A short while later, she walked out holding a bowl of popcorn, with what appeared to be butter melting on the top, and a spoon and container of salt in her hand. Dan Raised his eyebrow.
"What's the spoon for?"
"Duh, to make sure the butter is blended through properly."
She sat next to Dan on the sofa, and prepared to watch the movie. Just as she was about to press play, there was a knock at the door.
"Can you get that please babe?" Sarah asked through a mouthful of popcorn, "I'm comfy."
Dan sighed, rolled his eyes theatrically, and pushed himself off the couch. He opened the door to find two policemen standing there, looking slightly menacing.
"We were told we could find Daniel Elgon here. Are you him?" asked the policeman standing closest to the door.
"Yes, I am. What's this about?" Dan asked, glancing back at Sarah. He looked back to the two men in the doorway in time to see one of them with a pair of handcuffs, reaching for his arm.
"Daniel Elgon, you are under arrest for the murder of Melissa Strabirst."
*************
If the story makes no sense right now, that's ok too.
User Reviews
Submitted by Slypher (user info) at 2005-07-02 09:44:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Let me do a couple. I said it was a good idea. On a side note, I'm in Perth, Como, I think. Yay!
Submitted by Lechuga (user info) at 2005-06-30 22:06:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WOO!
Welcome back you dirty girl
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-06-30 10:01:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh... I'm glad i'm in on this.
You'd get a -1 for a cliffhanger ending (What are you writing?! The latest episode of Home and Away?!), but you've started well on a mammoth task.
Submitted by Deidra (user info) at 2005-06-28 17:34:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Damn cliffhangers!
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-06-28 16:40:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-06-28 15:41:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It is a little interesting so far, but i can't rate better than this until I know where it is going.
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2005-06-28 14:11:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-06-28 12:57:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
if she just would have said yes to the massage oil, all this could have been avoided.
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+2 for this!
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2005-06-28 13:19:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OOH!
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-06-28 12:57:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
if she just would have said yes to the massage oil, all this could have been avoided.
Submitted by Viciousriffs (user info) at 2005-06-28 10:24:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
More waits outside the door, wondering what it's waiting for.
Less is running up the score, gotta find out why I don't have more.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2005-06-28 10:24:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes, there's going to be another part. Quite a few more if I can do this right.
Tim, I'm still trying to figure out what to do with this. If you knew what I was working with, you might be able to see why I'm having a bit of trouble getting started :P
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-06-28 10:22:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
the title made no sense. the story made no sense.
thats not ok.
Submitted by stuckfix (user info) at 2005-06-28 10:17:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Abrupt ending. I like it (thus far?).
Submitted by shark25 (user info) at 2005-06-28 10:12:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-06-28 10:11:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm assuming there'll be a follow-up to this?
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-06-28 10:11:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm intrigued. Go on...