Elemental 22 (722 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.82 on 29 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by kre8rix (View user info) at 2005-06-29 17:04:02 EDT
Part 21: http://www.ubersite.com/m/69005
*********
The two Watchers stood in stunned silence as Spencer's ashes swirled around their adversary. Aaron felt fear creeping up again at her challenge. This is not how it was supposed to be.
They were going to draw the Elementals out of hiding, at least the small group that Seamus had been in charge of; then ambush them when they approached. He never thought that this girl would come alone; but not only had she come alone, she completely destroyed an elder Watcher with minimal effort. Now she stood in front of them, daring an attack.
"Sir?" Dara whispered. His body ignited at Jessica's challenge, but his fear stopped him from doing anything further. Aaron's lack of response only fueled his apprehension.
"Sir?" he hissed, breaking Aaron out of his silence.
"We go ahead as planned," He replied, never taking his eyes off of the girl, "The others are not with her; she shouldn't be a problem if we work together."
"But shouldn't we wait? What about the nec..."
"Quiet! He will be joining us shortly; we just need to distract her until then."
"Are you finished?" Jess interrupted, "Or are you planning on running like a coward again?"
"You dare call me a coward?" Lightning erupted from Aaron's clenched fists, shattering the asphalt around him, "You know nothing child,"
He stepped forward, electricity arcing from his eyes.
"We have been watching you,"
The trees around him ignited as current arced from his body.
"Studying you,"
The asphalt melted to tar as he walked.
"And now," He stopped several feet from where she stood, "We know everything we need to know about you,"
Aaron lunged at Jessica, the ground underneath him exploding with his attack. Dara was thrown violently into the wall of the building as his mentor made contact with the small girl. He smiled as he jumped to his feet, surveying the cloud of dust and debris for Aaron. The smile faded as soon as the dust settled; Aaron's large fist held securely in Jessica's hand, inches from her face. For several seconds there was no movement, with the exception of two conflicting facial expressions; one a mask of fear, the other a determined grin.
"You seem to have missed something in your studies," she taunted.
A flash of orange-blue flame sent Aaron hurtling backwards towards the charred carcass of a pickup truck. He shielded his face from the impact, but was stopped short as something grabbed his legs. His look of relief was short lived as Jessica swung the column of ice attached to his feet into the adjacent brick building.
Dara watched in shock as bricks tumbled down on his master's limp body. The orange flames surrounding him shifted bright blue as Jessica advanced toward Aaron.
"You bitch," He snarled as he ran to protect Aaron; his attack short lived as a static discharge from Jessica launched the scorched truck into his body, slamming him back into the building across from the pile of debris that buried Aaron.
"Sit down, lapdog," She mumbled, her eyes never leaving the spot Aaron landed.
The mound of brick and mortar exploded outward as Aaron launched into the air; he stopped and hovered several stories above the ground.
Breathing heavily he wiped his brow, and looked down to see blood smeared across his palm.
"It's been a while since I've actually been injured by anyone. I've almost forgotten what it was like to feel pain."
"I'm not surprised, coward. How long has it been since you've fought your own battles?"
Rage surged in Aaron's eyes as he floated back to the battle scarred avenue. The Necrolem was not too far away, and yet it was not answering his call. He scanned the area for Dara, and located him when the metal skeleton of the pickup began to glow white; molten globs of steel splashing to the ground. He and Dara had no chance against this girl; he knew that now again cursing under his breath for underestimating her. He had to move this fight, quickly.
"It would seem you are correct, child." He said, smiling, "Perhaps another day then?"
She saw the sparks behind his eyes and knew what was coming.
Dara freed himself from behind the truck and saw his master's motions. He quickly darted to Aaron's side as he raised his hands in the air. The familiar orb exploded from his body, incinerating everything it contacted. From within the ball, Dara had already turned to blast an escape hole in the wall of the building next to them. He launched himself toward the hole as the electric orb exploded outward. He turned and saw Aaron leaping toward the exit and reached out to grab his hand. They exchanged looks of confusion when Aaron stopped, as if floating in mid-leap. Confusion turned to fear as Jessica appeared over Aaron's shoulder; her hand firmly holding him in mid-air, wounds oozing blood from where her fingers penetrated his neck.
"Not this time," She whispered.
She flung Aaron's body back into the street; a spike of ice, surging with electricity simultaneously pierced Dara's face. With a flick of her wrist, Dara's twitching corpse slammed hard into the ground, his skull splitting in half around the lance of ice.
Jessica turned and methodically walked toward Aaron as he shuffled along the ground to get away from her.
"You will die tonight, Watcher,"
Aaron continued to shuffle away as she advanced, one hand trying to hold the blood in his neck.
"You made me kill Seamus, your own brother."
Aaron's back reached the wall. He looked around frantically, but had nowhere to go. He closed his eyes as Jessica knelt down in front of him.
She grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him close to her face.
"I'm done playing with you,"
Her eyes sparked as she pulled her fist back. She hesitated as Aaron's eyes opened.
"But we're not done yet," he coughed, smiling slightly.
His smile held her hesitation long enough for her no see the subtle glow behind the blood and soot on his forehead. Nausea overwhelmed her as a thick, scaled hand grabbed her by the back of her head.
It was her turn to be thrown backwards across the street. She was able to compose a torrent of wind behind her; softening but not stopping her from hitting the wall. She landed hard on the ground, body and ego bruised slightly.
Across the street, stood the hulking form of the Necrolem; breathing heavily. Aaron slowly and achingly pulled himself up on the arm of the creature, still holding his neck.
"I'd like you to meet a friend of mine," He said, a pain-filled hint of laughter in his voice, "Or should I say, a friend of yours?"
User Reviews
Submitted by Alter (user info) at 2007-09-26 22:28:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No, Comment.
Submitted by Bayley (user info) at 2005-10-23 03:50:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Please fdont't stop writing this!!!!!!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-07-19 15:50:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ug, this is gonna be close....i think we'll both get in, though
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-07-17 17:18:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, that and my son makes it kind of difficult to get any writing done over the weekend.
Patience grasshopper
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-07-17 17:11:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
well, I'm working on it.
I figure I blaze through enough posts, it's time to actually take my time on something.
It'll be up soon, no worries.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-07-17 16:44:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-07-17 16:40:48 (#)
Ranking: 0
kre8trix,
where's your UM entry?
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-07-14 23:07:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You! Kre8rix!
Previous commitments guarantee I will be forced to forfeit during Ubermadness. This is why I did not participate.
What does this mean for you? It means that all my Ubermadness hopes and dreams are riding on your broad, musky shoulders. I will vicariously ride high on the wave of your successes and be crushed under the weight of your failures. Do it for me, dude. Do it for the gipper!
Actually what it really means is that I'm rooting for you, bro. Knock 'em dead.
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-07-08 14:25:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, I know. I think I mentioned it on the post that you wrote about your car getting tagged.
At the moment I'm in Prescott, but hopefully not for too much longer because it's slowly driving me insane.
Submitted by SkinnyKenny (user info) at 2005-07-08 14:01:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ND
2-I live in the mountains of AZ,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
No shit? I live in Flag.
Submitted by Bayley (user info) at 2005-07-04 10:04:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-06-30 14:43:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-06-30 07:20:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
DOH!!
Sorry dude!!
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-06-30 07:19:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ahhh, I remember that now. Okay, sorry dude. That wasn't even that long ago and I forgot about it.
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2005-06-30 06:49:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+++ I've got to go back and read where I left off around ch. 14. I was keeping up, but I have a 3rd degree slack belt. Hope to read this holiday. Well done. +++
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-06-30 01:22:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-06-30 00:14:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
I like how she's become a jack-of-all-trades sort of thing...I think it would have been better if you built her up that way at various points in the story instead of throwing her in a fight and whispering to the reader, "by teh way, she has ice powers now!" Though I know you didn't mean it like that, just exaggerating to make a point.
In particular, I recall you writing about the marriage of her flame and lightning powers very well.
+++++++
To address this, here's an exerpt from Part 20:
"A final breath issued forth as Seamus' body went limp. Jessica could no longer hold her tears back and she pulled him close to her, sobbing heavily. A small wisp of glowing, ice-blue smoke issued forth from Seamus' mouth and hovered purposefully in front of Jessica's face. She looked at it through blurred eyes, and watched it slowly moving toward her face. With an involuntary inhalation, the puff of smoke flew into her body. She felt the ice cold smoke fill her lungs, and project outward, flowing through her entire body; turning her skin a light shade of blue.
"Thank you Seamus," She whispered silently, "I won't waste it."
Erin slowly approached Jessica from behind as she cradled the lifeless body of the only father she had ever known."
+++++
That's how she got it, this is just the first time she used it (the ice power I mean).
Like I said I wish I would've written it better; and it probably wouldn't hurt to not wait 4 months in between posting as well.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-06-30 00:14:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like how she's become a jack-of-all-trades sort of thing...I think it would have been better if you built her up that way at various points in the story instead of throwing her in a fight and whispering to the reader, "by teh way, she has ice powers now!" Though I know you didn't mean it like that, just exaggerating to make a point.
In particular, I recall you writing about the marriage of her flame and lightning powers very well.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-06-29 23:43:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
keep it up, buddy.
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-06-29 23:10:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So, while I'm here...
Jess's ability list : Fire, wind/lightning (think storm stuff), ice, and imagination.
She mainly uses the fire because it's sort of her primary ability, and she pretty much falls on the others as backup because fire deosn't work on Watchers with Fire ability (Dara); just as she didn't use the lightning/ electric attacks on Aaron for the same reason.
Why did I have to make this so complicated; next series is going to have two characters.
Bunnies.
Well, probably not...
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-06-29 23:02:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-06-29 22:26:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
Kickass fight dude, and killer ending. Perfect spot to end the installment.
Though I too did not know she had ice and wind powers. Go Jess. Oh and the part where Aaron and Dara were almost escaping kind of confused me.
=======
Yeah, she got the Ice power from Seamus as he died (not something I wrote very well and I'm still kicking myself for the way it went down) and the wind she got from Sarah WAAAAAAAAY back in the beginning. I haven't had her use it much because, well, the other stuff is cooler. But as a secondary/backup sort of thing, it's useful.
The Aaron and Dara escape thing was sort of last minute, and you know how I write and that's how it came out. Fine tuning is not my forte, but that's why you're here. heh
Seriously I appreciate all the critisizm I get from all of you. Thanks again.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-06-29 22:26:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Kickass fight dude, and killer ending. Perfect spot to end the installment.
Though I too did not know she had ice and wind powers. Go Jess. Oh and the part where Aaron and Dara were almost escaping kind of confused me.
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2005-06-29 21:33:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cool
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-06-29 18:44:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bueno!!
Submitted by algermetiphist (user info) at 2005-06-29 18:33:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Once again, stupendous.
Submitted by Blackhailfire (user info) at 2005-06-29 18:28:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2005-06-29 18:20:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nobody hates tigers more than me. i'm more of a lion man, tigers suck.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-06-29 18:07:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh. Ok. Thanks.
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-06-29 17:42:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
While back, came with the lightning (though how, I'm not sure)
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-06-29 17:38:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Rockage. But, uhm, when did she get the wind power?
(yes I'm retarded)
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-06-29 17:05:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, here's when all the shit starts hitting the fan.
I hope I can keep it interesting.