Caffiene, a gas station, and a little bit of semen (1033 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dirty HumorRating: 1.42 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <rylan776.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2005-06-30 01:42:24 EDT
Okay, so, me, my aunt, and my little sister are driving from Nixa back to Cassville, and I decide I really need a cappuchino. The last one I had was two hours ago, and it was wearing off. So my aunt tells me that there's no gas stations ahead for about twenty miles.
She was wrong;
Yes; you read that right. The store really is called "Kum & Go". I'm totally not shitting you. I'm sure you've seen some on the road, anyway, especially if you've been down in this area.
Now, remember, this is the only gas station for MILES. And I was falling asleep, and it was only 11:00. I'm only telling you this because I need you to understand the position I was in. One could argue I was not in the correct state of mind, with the withdrawl from the caffiene high I had earlier setting in.
I took the plunge.
I go inside. The store looks alright--it's clean, it smells okay. The cashier looks friendly. I meander my way over to the coffee section, carefully avoiding touching anything not related to my goal. I fill up the cappuchino cup, I take it to the counter; I buy it. It smells great.
I get into the car, I set the coffee down, and we drive away. Happy ending, right? Well, about ten minutes later, after it cooled down a little...I take small sip. Just the teeniest of sips. I wasn't really drinking it, I was more...testing it, to make sure it was the right temperature.
It was salty.
Yes. Read it again. And again. Then go look at the store's name. Then read that last sentence. Salty. And...as sad as it is...that wasn't the worst part of my tale. You really can't truly appriciate my point of view of the story if you haven't been in the same position I have been in. You can never truly relate to the delerious state of mind I was experiencing at said point in time, unless you have, yourself, at once craved the delicious high that only the wonderful drug caffiene can give you.
Now, I don't know if you can attribute the following five words to my personality--perhaps it's just a flaw in my character the conclusion of this story could take place. Personally, I think it is a tribute to the awesome drawing powers of caffiene its'self. I'm quite certain men would literally kill to get caffiene. Don't believe me? Then this may shock you...
I drank the whole thing.
User Reviews
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-04-18 16:49:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You can never truly relate to the delerious state of mind I was experiencing at said point in time, unless you have, yourself, at once craved the delicious high that only the wonderful drug caffiene can give you.
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You are pretty sheltered, aren't you.
Submitted by crazybutsolazy (user info) at 2005-06-30 12:43:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
props to you for drinking it
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-06-30 12:10:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
we had a kum n go in SD and yes it was amussing then too.
Submitted by sixxforty (user info) at 2005-06-30 10:12:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-06-30 06:48:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Two points:
1) Everyman has tasted his own semen, although very few men will admit this.
2) I don't know about you, but my semen dosen't taste salty. If it did I would never have to buy condiments again (though I would need to start taking zinc supplements).
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-06-30 02:49:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You know, they make this cappichino (however the fuck you spell it) stuff in a sealed glass bottle now.
Dumbass
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2005-06-30 01:58:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
so, you want to be in a movie?
Submitted by Stellar5446 (user info) at 2005-06-30 01:58:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Missouri! Bingo, we have a winner.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-06-30 01:57:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Sweet Jebus!
You're from Missouri!
No wonder they call it the 'Show Me' state.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-06-30 01:55:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha, i know...just bustin' your balls.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-06-30 01:53:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You shoulda bought one of the hats they sell there, my favourite hat it be.
Submitted by Stellar5446 (user info) at 2005-06-30 01:51:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's where the picture was supposed to go. Fucking lack of html...
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-06-30 01:47:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
She was wrong;
Yes; you read that right
_____________________________
haha, aunty was wrong. GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2005-06-30 01:46:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh heh...nice.
Submitted by Pr0j3ct (user info) at 2005-06-30 01:45:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude...is that in Iowa?
that would be sweet,
anyway...sucks to go to drink a nice pick-me-up and you get the semen.
well, happy cum-guzzling!
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2005-06-30 01:45:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2005-06-30 01:43:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
ah...I don't really know what semen tastes like...but I'll take your word for it.
Submitted by Stellar5446 (user info) at 2005-06-30 01:43:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Whoops, my bad. First post, didn't know how the attatchment thing worked. Ah, well, I think you'll realize how it fits together.