hourglass superglued to the table (424 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0 on 5 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by your_arse_is_hanging_out (View user info) at 2005-06-30 10:24:48 EDT
Have you ever felt with everything in your being, if you could go back and "redo" something that happened a split second ago, if you could do that--you'd give your right nipple or your left pinky? Kind of short term regret? This often happens to me. Maybe not often but enough to make me want to get this out of my head and onto uber.
Most often, of the not really often times where I'm plagued with it, it's when I get into a car accident (read: fender bender not full out crash). My body goes into fight or flight mode and I cannot stand without shaking like a leaf. I'm thinking to myself, "Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck! Motherfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck" and then an asshole cop comes over and tells me that yellow means "prepare to stop." Even if it's raining out and you can't stop in the amount of time especially when mr. sports car mid life crisis, is inching into my lane trying to turn left! Yellow means "Prepare to Stop." Fuck that.
I went to court over this, and I won, so fuck them too, and DuPage county--you corrupt dingbats--police officers are not supposed to be sitting with the civilians, at least not in Cook county (for those not familiar, Cook is the county that Chicago is in, DuPage is a western county from Cook). Isn't is supposed to be where you walk into a court room and the police officers are sitting in their own sectioned off area in the court room? I've only had the experience of going to court in DuPage for myself, but many times in Cook for my brother. Please comment to whether your experiences have been similiar or if I'm making a big something out of nada. Cops shouldn't sit with civilians in court!
So I walk into this court room dressed to the nines. My long brunette (at the time) hair is wavy and wild, my Lisa Loeb (sp?) glasses on, a business suit with skirt--black, you could tell I came in to win. And mr. sports car mid life crisis, walks in with jeans and a polo white shirt. Appearances aside--he goes and sits with the piggy that undermined my side of the story and screaming at me "Yellow means prepare to stop". So he's talking with mid life crisis and plotting how he'll go up and testify. The cop testified on mid life crisis's behalf.
So my insurance company sticks me with a lawyer fresh out of law school and not very keen on doing what he does. He made a very long and rambling closing arguement. The mid life crisis had a big red neck lawyer from state farm, and he was an asshole--trying to grill me for my younger age and lesser driving experience...and again I find myself thinking "fuckfuckfuckfuck" and getting pissed, even though I wasn't supposed to show it, accourding to my rookie lawyer.
After 6 hours of this shit, over $1000 in damage, I leave after the closing arguements. I didn't even hear the verdict. I felt I had done everything I could and wanted to leave that god forsaken county courthouse...however I think when the young Italian in the jury winked at me as I left the stand, I had it locked.
I never actually found out if I won, BUT my insurance has gone down so much--I'm assuming I did. And they love me at Appolo Casualty (sp?!)
Stick it to the man!
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-06-30 17:38:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by kissmyarse (user info) at 2005-06-30 10:38:01 (#)
Ranking: 0
hey ass monkey--why's everyone so ruthless?
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Trial By Fire - post a hot pic of yourself to make it go away
Submitted by Mr-Boo (user info) at 2005-06-30 10:50:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Not the best, but not bad.
Submitted by manicvelocity (user info) at 2005-06-30 10:39:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not a very funny or interesting story, but Lisa Loeb is hot, and if you look anything like her you get a +2.
Submitted by kissmyarse (user info) at 2005-06-30 10:38:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hey ass monkey--why's everyone so ruthless?
Submitted by NikkiSixx (user info) at 2005-06-30 10:34:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Go and stick it up your arse, faggot.