Popped Collars: the dumbass insignia /......first post (738 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.67 on 31 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Mick Rak <M.Rakitan.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-07-01 03:58:32 EDT
While on my break from work today, I was standing in front of the local 7 11, sipping my Super Big Gulp, and trying to figure out what the hell I'm doing with my life, and up comes this guy who obviously strives to be one of fasion's "elite" - the pre-torn jeans, the spiked hair, the obscenely tight shirt, the aviators at night (seriously, what the fuck), and - of course - the dreaded popped collar. As I saw this, this overwhelming desire to break both his wrists so he would be unable to effectively "pop" the collar of his overpriced shirt from Abercrombie and Fitch came over me, only to be stiffled by the knowledge that he's going to amount to about as much in life as a bigass pile of kangaroo shit, wasting all of his money on trying to be fashionable, driving an Escalade with the obligatory "spinners", but living in a studio apartment and in more debt than many small countries.
As he was walking out of the 7 11 after buying a pack of Dunhil cigarettes, I noticed which car he was headed to: the Navigator with Spinners...go fucking figure. The kid couldn't have been much older than 18, but yet he still managed to put $5,000 worth of chrome on his car. Also, I overheard him on his Razor phone, and he was apparently arguing with somebody about why Jessica Simpson is so much hotter than Brittney Spears. Seriously, people, what is this world coming to?
As he pulled out of the parking lot, he got into a car accident and had to be taken away in an ambulance....serves the fucker right.
User Reviews
Submitted by Betamick (user info) at 2005-07-06 07:10:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by STIXS (user info) at 2005-07-02 16:44:11 (#)
Ranking: 1
+2 for the end, -1 for the fact that you said "first post" in your title.
Are you from Australia, per chance?
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Nope, CHicago.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-07-06 01:27:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why did y9u +2 ma shit w/ no comments?
you freak.
Submitted by STIXS (user info) at 2005-07-02 16:44:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
+2 for the end, -1 for the fact that you said "first post" in your title.
Are you from Australia, per chance?
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2005-07-02 16:42:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-07-02 16:22:46 (#)
Ranking: -1
so what you're saying is, he gets laid easy and you have to work for it?
guys dress whichever way gets them bitches. bitches like chrome and abercrombie. shit I'm gay and even I know that
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Did you ever know that you're my hero?
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-07-02 16:22:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
so what you're saying is, he gets laid easy and you have to work for it?
guys dress whichever way gets them bitches. bitches like chrome and abercrombie. shit I'm gay and even I know that
Submitted by NumLock (user info) at 2005-07-01 19:50:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-07-01 15:27:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck em all.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-07-01 17:36:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2005-07-01 04:23:00 (#)
Ranking: 1
You get a +1 for a decent ending.
But never, EVER, say it's your first post again.
Oh, I know that doesn't seem to make sense, but learn it anyways.
-----
especially putting first post in your title, jeesus...
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-07-01 15:27:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck em all.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-07-01 14:11:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've known a few sec. guards and I almost did that while going to school when I got out of the navy. Luckily I got my current job.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-07-01 14:11:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2NAMI!
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-07-01 14:08:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
FUCK YOU NOOB!!!
Submitted by Betamick (user info) at 2005-07-01 13:57:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
it's funny that you say that, b/c you're absolutely correct, for the most part. I have, however, been attacked several times and had to defend myself, and THEN call the cops to sort the mess out.
God save the 2kie monster.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-07-01 13:47:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Security Guards don't "beat ass," they hold a flashlight and call the real cops if there's a problem. I'm not knocking your profession, it's honorable that you work for a living, but don't try to act like you're fucking Robocop.
+2kie Monster.
Submitted by Deidra (user info) at 2005-07-01 12:24:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
First post announcing is a mistake.
Submitted by stevetherugbyman (user info) at 2005-07-01 12:04:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And the lesson? DON'T WEAR SUN GLASSES AT NIGHT YOU FUCKING DUMBASSES!!
Ok i'm done.
Submitted by Betamick (user info) at 2005-07-01 12:03:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I actually am a security guard, so piss off. I drive around my town in a village truck and listen to the radio while occasionally getting out and beating some ass.
Submitted by Foonbo (user info) at 2005-07-01 11:40:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I didn't write this, but it's still good:
Today we salute you, Mr. Constant Collar Putter Upper. You, bedecked in popped collar, teach us that we no longer have to live with a cold, exposed back of the neck. Sure, your pink alligator polo may look feminine to some, but not the 17 other frat guys wearing the same thing at the bar. Where others may see thoughtless fashion conformity, you preach a higher gospel. You preach of a world where it is okay for a man to go tanning. You ask "why can't we wear makeup, and use shampoo with lavender essence?" So crack open a fresh bottle of candy cologne, Mr. Abercrombie (or is it Fitch?), because we all know, when we really need a piece of gum, you might have one...in your man purse.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-07-01 11:17:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I hate that collar thing.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-07-01 09:55:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Vettesrule: A break is 15 minutes. I don't know anyone who takes a break from a job, walks or drives to the local 7/11, and stands out front sipping a Big Gulp.
Unless he's a cop or security guard, he's a fucking 7/11 employee. If you can't use deductive reasoning, shut the fuck up.
+2kie Monster.
Submitted by vettesrule88 (user info) at 2005-07-01 09:33:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
he never said he was working in 7/11 he said he was on break hanging out by the local 7/11 if you cant read, shut the fuck up
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-07-01 08:43:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"... he's going to amount to about as much in life as a bigass pile of kangaroo shit ..."
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ... whoah ... whoa ... whoa: What kind of aviator glasses were they?
Seriously, you work in a 7/11 and you're the one shit-talking someone driving a Navigator. What's that I smell? Could it be the putrid stench of jealousy?
Normally I would -1 this, but I'm the +Twokie Monster today, so you're lucky.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-07-01 08:36:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I approve this message
Submitted by NikkiSixx (user info) at 2005-07-01 07:39:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Dunhill ciggarettes are shit wrapped in paper, and don't ever admit to working in a shithole such as 7-11 again.
Submitted by Wallstreet (user info) at 2005-07-01 06:28:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
All those people you just described are also real big Dave Matthews fans I bet.
Submitted by missflibble (user info) at 2005-07-01 05:41:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
erm. whatever.
i like jam.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-07-01 05:35:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Jungle_Jimanee (user info) at 2005-07-01 05:26:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 becauseIknow exactly what youare describing. And yes they are fools. They probably get nicer girls though.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-07-01 05:24:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know why people get so bent out of shape about "my first post." It's really no big deal, especially the way you did it. At least you didn't give any personal info (a/s/l), formed real sentences, and had decent grammar.
Not bad for a first timer.
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-07-01 04:49:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I just pulled a three inch nose ahir from my sckull
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-07-01 04:42:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah good story, and i feel the same, even my brother does it - but its ok he's happy in the basement now.
Yeah dont say first post all you watchers, it will get you ass raped into infinity.
El Fabit O
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2005-07-01 04:23:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You get a +1 for a decent ending.
But never, EVER, say it's your first post again.
Oh, I know that doesn't seem to make sense, but learn it anyways.