It's Saturday Nite and I ain't got Nobody (or How do I get back into the dating game?) (1526 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 0.78 on 45 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by legallady (View user info) at 2005-07-02 23:22:35 EDT
Okay, Uberfolks, some of you read my last post about the girlfriend and the heart attack both my husband's. So I need advice from you all about how to get a date? It has been 10 long years since I
had dick other than KDJs...so what do I do to find true happiness and a sane partner?
I know the first thing is get those marriage pounds off my fat ass. That is going well since I don't eat any food at home. I just drink. Beer does have carbs...but without food does it matter??
Then what?
Hang out at bars? Surf chat rooms? Friends set me up? Church? Ubercon?
User Reviews
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2006-05-28 22:53:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-07-04 11:55:23 (#)
Ranking: 1
Grab the girls, go out, have a laugh, go to college, learn a language, laugh. ALOT. He's just turn up when you're least expecting.
Trust me.
****************************
You're a dirty liar. Unless your advice only works with girls...like flowers. Or rohypnol.
Submitted by soccer (user info) at 2006-04-13 22:13:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/3423
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-07-06 20:39:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2005-07-03 07:44:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
Just don't fuck guys like shlongy.
My best advice to you is to do things that you've always wanted to do. I'm not saying that your marriage held you back, you might have always been able to do these things. If so, just keep at it. There is nothing more appealing than meeting a woman who is confident and in her element.
Trust me, men can smell desperation, too... and it is disgusting.
Read this: http://www.ubersite.com/m/38385
PS - Method is right. I have more diseases than a pre-med biology textbook and I love fucking recently single MILFs on the rebound.
How do you know she already HASN'T , Q, ya goddamn idiot?
I'll bang ya one out the next time I'm in FLA. In fact, Mrs. Shlongy is staying overnight in Jacksonville, FLA tonight...some work-related ho-down.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-07-04 19:53:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Munkeypants = funny pants
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-07-04 11:55:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-07-03 01:39:35 (#)
Ranking: -2
Who in the what now?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I LOVE that line. ha ha ha ha
On a serious note. I wouldn't look. I was single for ages and had SUCH a good time. Then I met someone along the way of having a good time. I personally don't believe the reason we are on this planet is to hunt for a match'. Let them happen, yes... but not LOOK for them...
Grab the girls, go out, have a laugh, go to college, learn a language, laugh. ALOT. He's just turn up when you're least expecting.
Trust me.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-07-04 10:44:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Your husband sounds like an arse. All the good guys are living in Brisbane. Don't waste your time with Thorpe and Williamson, they're nice enough, but attn ghey menz..
Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2005-07-04 10:24:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have been working on a "sport" fucking
relationship with a 30 year old...we
will see what happens.
I never liked being married. So I am not
looking for that again.
Yesterday, I went to work and shopping and
mowed the lawn...read Uber. No hassles.
And everything I bought is mine...all mine.
Well...half mine...divorce not final.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-07-04 09:48:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-07-04 09:37:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
Trust me, men can smell desperation, too... and it is disgusting.
------------
Not neccesarily true. Depends on what you want. Might I reccomend a rebound relationship with a lonely twenty something? There are plenty of them out there and it should be quite a nice experience assuming he doesn't get too attatched. Try something with a lot of distance involved.
Other than that, I suppose you've got a lot of thinking to do. About what you want, what you need.
Just remember real decent guys are a dime a dozen, you just need to know where to look.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Brisbane?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-07-04 09:37:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Trust me, men can smell desperation, too... and it is disgusting.
------------
Not neccesarily true. Depends on what you want. Might I reccomend a rebound relationship with a lonely twenty something? There are plenty of them out there and it should be quite a nice experience assuming he doesn't get too attatched. Try something with a lot of distance involved.
Other than that, I suppose you've got a lot of thinking to do. About what you want, what you need.
Just remember real decent guys are a dime a dozen, you just need to know where to look.
Submitted by Deidra (user info) at 2005-07-04 09:33:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The friends setting you up option may work. The rest.. not so much. Just make sure you go to every wedding, house warming and anniversary party you can.
Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2005-07-04 07:22:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually I had seen Bart's Post...just
reread it. Much more creative with all
those faces of Bart.
Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2005-07-04 07:19:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bart may have done this title...I haven't read
all his posts yet! It is a song title from a
top 40 hit in the 70s.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-07-04 01:19:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Give up all hope. That's when it happens.
Didn't Bart do this same title once?
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-07-04 00:43:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-07-03 21:17:09 (#)
Ranking: 1
I find that a blow up doll, a bottle of whisky, and twister are a lethal combination on a Fri night...
----------------------------------------------
add butt plugs into the mix and i'm hearing ya, bro
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-07-03 21:35:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-07-03 03:51:47 (#)
Ranking: 0
i suggest that you become a prostitute
you will meet lots of men and learn about how they treat women
and if you decide you like one, he will be thrilled to have won the heart and body of a whore, a notoriously difficult feat.
=====
BWAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-07-03 21:35:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sphagnum is always happy to help out whenever he can.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-07-03 21:17:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I find that a blow up doll, a bottle of whisky, and twister are a lethal combination on a Fri night...
Submitted by jack0173 (user info) at 2005-07-03 13:19:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You're asking people on ubersite? People surf the net reading about other people's shit because they ain't got no one either.
Submitted by jimthefiend (user info) at 2005-07-03 08:09:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yahoo: the_reverend_jimthefiend
I'll help you get back in the saddle.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-07-03 07:54:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
positive rating?
i say lose weight, learn how to skydive, and fuck some pilots
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2005-07-03 07:44:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just don't fuck guys like shlongy.
My best advice to you is to do things that you've always wanted to do. I'm not saying that your marriage held you back, you might have always been able to do these things. If so, just keep at it. There is nothing more appealing than meeting a woman who is confident and in her element.
Trust me, men can smell desperation, too... and it is disgusting.
Read this: http://www.ubersite.com/m/38385
PS - Method is right. I have more diseases than a pre-med biology textbook and I love fucking recently single MILFs on the rebound.
Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2005-07-03 07:19:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh yeah...and Herpes what qualifies as rich?
or hot?
I don't have Schlongy money...or looks for that matter.
Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2005-07-03 07:17:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Okay...Method and Notsteve made me laugh. The temptation to
rawdog is so there.
and Shandy has an idea...I could both supplement my income and
learn about men.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-07-03 06:18:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait, yes I am. Whoever you fuck, make sure you double bag it. People are diseased.
Seriously, you might be used to getting it raw dog after being with the same dick for so long, but you can't do that shit in the outside world. Don't leave it up to the guy to be the responsible one, because we're useless when it comes to that shit.
That's my advice, take it or leave it.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-07-03 06:14:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh man, I aint sayin a word
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-03 05:33:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Come to rad...
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-07-03 05:31:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Your local chapter of: Craigslist.org ??
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-07-03 04:47:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just spent yesterday advising a male friend on this very topic. I have suggested he takes an evening class in car mechanics- I'm guessing there will be loads of girls there trying to pick up blokes. I suggest you do this too.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-07-03 03:51:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i suggest that you become a prostitute
you will meet lots of men and learn about how they treat women
and if you decide you like one, he will be thrilled to have won the heart and body of a whore, a notoriously difficult feat.
Submitted by Duke_Diggler (user info) at 2005-07-03 02:23:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If you want some dick, I have it for you. :)
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-07-03 02:10:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-07-02 23:45:30 (#)
Ranking: 1
First of all, get some of your self esteem back.
After that, just get out and meet people.
Submitted by Thored (user info) at 2005-07-03 01:56:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Get raped?
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-07-03 01:39:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Who in the what now?
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2005-07-03 01:25:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
In response to Lisa, I just left a beach party where I could have easily fucked one of several young sluts but I realized I didn't give a shit and I'd rather leave.
God help me I'm growing up.
MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2005-07-03 01:16:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hang out at bars? Surf chat rooms? Friends set me up? Church? Ubercon?
I'm not one to talk, considering I'm at home on a Saturday night in front of my computer and I'm about to cancel one of the few dates I've had in a while, but all of the above options are probably the worst options possible. I don't think you can look for a good companion, unless all you want is dinner and sex. That sort of thing just seems to happen, although it probably does require getting off your ass and interacting with people in the real world.
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2005-07-03 01:15:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2005-07-03 00:41:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
Are you hot and/or rich?
1 out of the 2 will lead me to want to fuck you.
-------------------------------
I concur and at this stage I'll take money over looks.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2005-07-03 00:41:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Are you hot and/or rich?
1 out of the 2 will lead me to want to fuck you.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-07-03 00:28:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by iProd (user info) at 2005-07-03 00:22:29 (#)
Ranking: 2
Drinking and surfing chat rooms is probably the exact opposite of what you should be doing.
-----------------
Ha! Touche!
Yeah, don't throw yourself into schooling and work or else you'll end up like me.
Submitted by iProd (user info) at 2005-07-03 00:22:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Drinking and surfing chat rooms is probably the exact opposite of what you should be doing.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-07-03 00:10:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why don't you kill two birds with one stone; join something like a cycling club? You may meet some men and you'll get some good excercise.
Or, get involved in some community projects around your city or town.
Hang out at museums.
Anywhere and anything except hitting clubs and bars. Clubs and bars just aren't the best of places to meet people.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-07-02 23:50:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Men are arseholes.
... wait.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-07-02 23:45:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
First of all, get some of your self esteem back.
After that, just get out and meet people.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-07-02 23:44:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The answer is always 7.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-07-02 23:28:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hear ya, sister.
Bacardi rum and diet coke = no carbs and no calories.
Or so they say.
Submitted by NotSteve (user info) at 2005-07-02 23:26:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I know I get antsy if I don't have KDJ's dick for a while.