Fire Within (515 hits)
Category: Computers & InternetRating: 1.5 on 6 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by gamma (View user info) at 2005-07-04 14:27:13 EDT
"Man, why did you have to drag me out again tonight? I was looking forward to a quiet evening of video games and anime."
"Shut up Jerry. You're such a nerd. You realize I'm your only friend right? You NEVER do anything. If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't ever leave the security apartment."
"Don't criticize my lifestyle! I like how I live."
"Whatever man. It's time to get some action into your life. You need to live a little."
"Lucas, why can't you let me be? Just because I don't embrace the lifestyle of drinking 'til my liver explodes and having sex with random girls, doesn't mean that my life sucks. People made fun of me enough throughout high school and college. I don't need you to do it too."
"Jerry, face it. You're a nerd. You've never gotten laid, and tonight we're going to change that. We're going to find you a slutty bitch, and you're going to pound her pussy. And what's this "having sex" bullshit? It's called FUCKING."
"I hate how you always convince me to do shit that I don't want to do. You're trying to control me, and you're trying to control my lifestyle. I don't appreciate it. A real friend wouldn't do that."
"You ungrateful fuck. I'm trying to show you what life outside of a computer screen and badly drawn Japanese cartoons is like. You're nothing without me. Haven't you realized that yet?"
"I don't even know why I talk to you anymore."
"Fuck you Jerry. You know that what I say is true, and you know that I'm the only one willing to help you. That's why you always listen to me. That's why every time I tell you to do something, you do it. You listen to me because you can't climb out of the whole you dug yourself, and I'm the only one who can show you how. You listen to me because I'm a part of you."
"I want to..."
Cutting Jerry off, Lucas speaks: "Shhh. Look there. That girl. She's your target for tonight."
In the distance, two blocks ahead of Jerry and Lucas, a petite brunette wearing a white halter top and a black skirt that hung slightly above her knees walked along in the evening, the only sound apart from the conversation between Jerry and Lucas being the clicking of the woman's high heels.
"Oh. You like that don't you Jerry? The way her ass wiggles with every step she takes, the way her hair blows lightly in the wind. It makes you kinda wish that the wind would pick up, just enough to lift her skirt a little higher so you can sneak a peek at her thong, doesn't it? The sight of all this ignites a little flame within you, doesn't it? ANSWER ME JERRY."
"Please, stop...I don't want these thoughts in my head."
"Jerry, by the end of this evening, you will have felt her warm flesh. You will have seen her supply breasts, and you will have felt your manhood thrashing into her. She's the prey, and you're the predator tonight. Be a man."
Jerry knew fighting against Lucas was no use. He had tried it before, and to no avail. Lucas always won, and Jerry conceded every time. Quietly and carefully, they followed the woman.
"Now, we went through this in your apartment before leaving. You know what you have to do right?"
"I don't want to do it Lucas...lets just go home."
"We've gone too far. You know that if you don't do this, I'm going to hurt you. You know what I'm capable of, and you know that the person you love the most will be hurt most of all."
"You leave my mother out of this!"
"Then do it Jerry. You know what you have to do. Just do it. I'll be right there with you."
Jerry's thoughts fluttered to that of his mother for an instant. An image of the woman pulling an apple pie out of the oven while smiling at Jerry as a child brought tears to his eyes. He imagined the smell of the fresh pastry floating to his nostrils, teasing him. Without and instant's thought, he broke into a sprint. The woman turned to see who the footsteps belonged to, but it was too late. Jerry grabbed the woman by the waste, and dragged her into an alley. The woman shrieked, but Jerry quickly placed his hand over her mouth, muffling most of her scream.
"That's it Jerry! That's my boy. You've got her, now finish the job!"
Jerry grabbed the sock from his pocket and pushed it into her mouth. Tears were biw streaming down the woman's pale face. Holding her down by her throat with out hand, he undid his pants with the other. He proceeded to lift her skirt, pausing as he realized she wore no underwear.
"See! She deserves it! Any woman who doesn't wear underwear is a whore! She's just getting what she's asking for Jerry. Finish it. Finish it now!"
Jerry savagely rammed his manhood into the woman's orifice.
"That's it Jerry, that's it!"
A few minutes into the ordeal, the alley lit up with blue and red lights. A man had seen the whole scenario unfold from his apartment window.
"Fuck. The cops are here. Damn it Jerry! You can't do ANYTHING right!"
"Freeze! Let the woman go, and put your hands in the air!"
"Lucas, what do we do man? Fuck. I knew I should never have listened to you! Look you've gotten us into!"
Silence followed, as Jerry let the woman go.
"Lucas? WHERE ARE YOU?"
The police quickly charged Jerry, and in an instant, it was all over.
--------------------
"Are you sure that is what happened, Mister Shapiro?"
"Yes Ma'am. I'm positive how it all happened. I'm positive how it all happened. Yes Ma'am I'm positive. I'm definitely positive how it all happened Ma'am."
"Ok Mister Shapiro, where did Lucas go then?"
"I don't know Ma'am. He left me! I THOUGHT HE WAS MY FRIEND! Can I please go back to my room now Ma'am?"
The woman motioned to the guards as they brought him back to his new home.
Jerry didn't mind it all that much. He found it safe and secure there. Nobody could get to him there, not even his friend Lucas.
User Reviews
Submitted by NOWorNEVER (user info) at 2005-07-13 14:55:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i dont know what it was, but something in this reminded me of fight club from the very beginning... and with lucas disappearing, it seems you hit the nail on the head
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-07-05 06:17:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
it's spelt waist and there where a ton of other errors. I'm inclined to print it of, mark the mistakes in a red pen and send it back with a little note aying "must try harder".
Other criticisms that I'm not sure are justified are the begining. Was Lucas a figment of his imgaination, the why's and the wherefores of the charachters etc...
I'm a shit writer though, so what do I know?
Submitted by gamma (user info) at 2005-07-04 14:51:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-07-04 14:35:14 (#)
Ranking: 1
Manhood? Orfice? Dude, find some better words. Not bad, but kind of a cliche.
What brings you back up in heah?
===========
Sheer boredom at work.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2005-07-04 14:39:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
if you could fly, would you really want to? what with all the big birds of prey flying around up there, there's a good chance one of them will claw you in the eye. and i think a big talon in the eye would hurt.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2005-07-04 14:35:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You see, there are some crybabies out there -- religious types mostly
-- who might be offended. If you are one of them, I advise you to
turn off your set now. C'mon, I dare you. Bock-bock-bock-bock-bock!
Chicken!
-- Homer Simpson
-----------------------------
about time you wrote something...
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-07-04 14:35:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Manhood? Orfice? Dude, find some better words. Not bad, but kind of a cliche.
What brings you back up in heah?