My Friends are Idiots (And So Am I) Part 3 (575 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 1.57 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by yermom (View user info) at 2005-07-05 13:12:38 EDT
Part 1 is here: http://www.ubersite.com/m/67184
Part 2 is here: http://www.ubersite.com/m/68610
Well Uber folks, it was a hell of a weekend, and one that I hope to not forget for a long time. Because of the fact that I have the memory of an Alzheimer's patient, I've decided to share some of the happenings with all of you for the sake of keeping the memory alive.
For those of you who don't know, moving sucks a dog's asshole. There is nothing worse then moving, except moving too many boxes, with too few people, up too many flights of stairs. That being said, I'll keep it short because I've covered my feelings on moving.
Anyway, I moved my girlfriend into her new kick ass apartment this weekend. That wasn't fun at all, but it was immediately afterwards that the stupidity would begin. My girlfriend had died her hair early that morning and when all the boxes were moved into her new apartment, we decided that a victory smoke was in order. So we plopped ourselves in front of the fan, and lit up. The only difference being that as my girlfriend lit up, half of her hair went up in a ball of blue flame.
Now I don't know if you've ever been in a situation where you've seen someone light their hair on fire, but if you do, and if that person is your girlfriend, the proper response is not to whack her in the head to try and put the fire out.
My bad, I was only trying to help.
Later that night was my friend's bachelor party, and I knew it was going to be an interesting night when I was driving down the street and said to myself, "Who's the idiot that's doing a wheelie down the street on a dirt bike?" Turns out it was my friend Bob. Drunk Bob to be exact. Drunk Bob likes to hurt himself, and destroy his own things. Why? I have no idea. I have seen Bob burn his clothes, break his bones, and perhaps the funniest thing, I got to witness Bob, burn his hair off that night.
Does anyone else think it's odd that I saw two people burn their hair in the same night? That isn't normal. Besides this, I got to see two of my friends get open container tickets, and have come to realize, that I'm an awesome drunken driver, but a horrible drunken navigator. So I think I may have to change the title of this series to I'm an idiot, but so are my friends.
Here is the path I took back to my girlfriends place, and the way I should have gone.
User Reviews
Submitted by doctorj24 (user info) at 2005-07-05 19:08:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The capital of Ohio is Columbus.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-07-05 18:31:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-07-05 15:41:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I moved this past weekend also. Never again.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-07-05 14:11:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I would have given a +2 but I can't condone drunk driving
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-07-05 14:10:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i have family in shaker heights. so yeah.
Submitted by yermom (user info) at 2005-07-05 13:47:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm down GLALL
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-07-05 13:45:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
All these Ohio people! I think it's about time for a Con here somewhere!
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-07-05 13:28:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hey! that's right around my neighborhood!
<gets creepy feeling>
<shivers>