A doomed relationship? Part II of III (725 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.5 on 6 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by James Smith (View user info) at 2005-07-06 11:47:11 EDT
Part I here: www.ubersite.com/m/69981
[Play it cool, homeboy]
Eventually we found ourselves on the grass outside the museum.
Even in the shade the Sun seemed to bounce off her olive skin. Every detail presenting itself in the rays of daylight which seemed to be radiating from her very own body.
This girl had fusion, baby.
I considered handing her in to the Science Museum just down the road but my better judgement won out in that situation when I realised it was just my mind playing love-tricks on my eyes.
Kiss her. Kiss her now whilst you're looking in to her eyes.
I leant forward.
And don't drool.
I kissed her and she kissed back.
Time didn't stop and we certainly didn't enter our own little world.
If anything time seemed to fast forward and I was suddenly aware I was kissing the most beautiful girl I had ever laid both eyes and hands on and everyone could see.
I am da man!
"What?" She asked.
"Nothing." We smiled sweet soft smiles at each other and kissed once again.
I could feel the hormones being released into my body. Nerve endings tingling and hands fumbling about akwardly looking for somewhere to rest. I could feel the blood rushing throughout my body too.
Oh fuck. Not now.
I was growing. I would usually be proud of such growth and proceeed to do some kind of fertility dance whilst fwapping my partner in sexual crime with my enlarged manhood.
This was not one of those times. I needed to lose it and quick.
I recalled that we had previously spotted a chubby woman sitting on the bench behind us wearing a skirt and showing her knickers. She wasnt the chubby kind of sexy. She was more the OH MY EYES! kind of chubby, ugly and old.
I snuck a quick peek whilst we were kissing. The sight of her legs worked a treat. Her thighs were like a cellulite holiday spot. A farm of spare fat. A, oh God Im going to throw up. I stopped looking so as to avoid any permanent mental damage.
We stopped kissing and I held her close to me. Her hair smelled sweet and her skin was so smooth I had to keep touching her to reassure myself she was real. At least that's the reason I gave.
[Off to the V&A]
We sat on the grass for an hour or two. I forget. The sun was still out but a noticeable breeze was now blowing.
"Where to now?" She looked up at me with those big eyes. I didn't feel I could see her soul or anything but there is
definitely something about looking in to someones eyes. I cant quite explain it but it does something to you. Starts some kind of crazy chemical reaction in your body that makes you feel better about being around this person.
"Well, we could go to the Science Museum and see the Hitch Hikers Guide exhibit or we could go to the V&A and see their stuff."
We sat pondering for a few seconds then the heat caught my attention again, "Actually, it may be too hot to be in the Science Museum."
She agreed and we made our way to the Victoria and Albert Museum.
It. Was. Awesome.
I tried to behave like an adult but the sight of the Samurai suits and their big fluffy shoes was just too much for me. I was giddy. I laughed and joked and hopped between exhibits. I was in an awesome museum with a beautiful and magnificently intelligent girl and I was having fun. I've no doubt that I embarassed her somewhat. Her cheeks redened and her eyes cut to the floor whenever I did something silly or adolescent.
We tramped around the museum for what seemed like hours.
We saw many things. Many, many things but the most memorable was the infamous Great Bed.
It was a marvel to behold. The large wooden frame held a presence in the room that not even a team of naked pornstars could have stolen. Ok, maybe they could have but the frame was pretty damned fancy. Whilst the frame invevitably caught my attention first, the mattress quickly jumped out at me.
Who knew how many times I could have rolled over on that thing with this girl!
I wanted to take her right there. Pick up her petite frame, toss her on to the bed and have my wicked way with her. I didnt fancy being arrested so I let my mind do the action for now.
Oh no! Again!?
There was movement in my trousers. My loin demanded attention and if I didn't stop what was about to happen then it would've gotten a lot of attention indeed.
I flipped around quickly and casually browsed my groin area. It had begun. I needed to find a fat ugly woman and quickly. My eyes whipped around the room. Nothing. Just as I had given up hope and was about to let the penis envy begin I caught sight of a rug on the wall opposite the bed.
"Yuck." I walked over to the wallrug. This person was damned ugly. Whoever he was he had a huge nose and was clearly very wealthy. Probably some Jewish King. Maybe Jesus or someone. I didn't care who it was. Whoever they were they were there to serve only one purpose right now. Turn me off, baby.
It worked a charm. No embarassing moments for me today.
We wandered around the museum for a while longer till we'd decided it was time to leave and find something to eat.
Just as we arrived at main reception I realised I still needed to pee from this morning.
"Ack. I really need to piss."
User Reviews
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-07-09 07:37:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-07-07 14:06:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-07-06 11:56:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
i hope this ends with you bangin' her
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it does not.
Submitted by Vulva (user info) at 2005-07-06 13:34:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Take her in the can with you, fuck her in hers, piss on her back, and kill 2 birds with one stone!!!!
Wow, Uber is wearing off on me, I don't think I would have ever spoke that phrase if it were not for Ubersite!!
Thanks Bart...
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-07-06 12:20:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-07-06 11:56:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
i hope this ends with you bangin' her
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exactly...or I want my money back
Submitted by morontian (user info) at 2005-07-06 12:08:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This may show how uncouth I am, but would her realizing you got a woody from kissing her really be all that bad? I'm curious for a female's point of view.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-07-06 11:56:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i hope this ends with you bangin' her