What the? (960 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.33 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Confuzitron (View user info) at 2005-07-07 10:20:49 EDT
Steve ran down Charles Bronson Boulevard, screaming at people, begging them to help him get the little man out of his head with an ice pick. A man cautiosly approached him, offering to help, and Steve fucking stabbed him! As the man took his last breath, he heard Steve scream "This is nothing compared to what Satan is going to do to you!" Needless to say, nobody else felt like helping Steve with the little man in his head.
Apparently, someone saw Steve kill that man and called the cops. When the cops arrived on the scene, they found Steve curled up in a little ball on the curb, shouting at people that weren't there.
"Damnit dude. I told you not to kill him. But, No! You never listen!"
"Shut up, man in my head! You don't control me!"
"I Do Now! Go, Kill that cop"
"But, I don't wanna!"
"Just shut up and do it, bitch!"
"NO!"
"Yes!"
"OK, I'll do it. Just leave me alone!"
Steve lunged at the cop, who promtly grabbed Steve by the neck, threw him to the ground, and restrained him.
<Fast Forward to the interrogation room, where our hero is being questioned by a prosecutor.>
"Steve, we have several witnesses pointing you out as the one who killed the man. They're all willing to testify."
"I'll kill them all! You hear me? They're all dead!"
"We are ready to accept a plea of insanity."
"Insane? Me? I'm not insane! Would an insane man do this?"
Steve pulls down his pants and takes a huge shit all over the prosecutor's legal documents.
Now talking to himmself again "Damn you, person in my head! Why did you make me do that?"
"Because I can!"
"But now I'm gonna go to jail for sure."
"No. you're going to the asylum, where I will abandon you, and you'll live out the rest of your days miserable and alone, talking to the doctors about people inside your mind."
Steve goes up to the prosecutor and pleads with him.
"There's a little man in my head, talking to me. Make him stop."
"I gave you a chance at a plea offer, and you refused. Have fun with that man in your head."
"NO! Please! Wait. Could I borrow your pen?"
"Sure. Here ya go."
Steve takes the pen and stabs it inside his ear, shouting "I'm coming to get you, you son of a bitch!" Steve digs deeper and deeper, and before the prosecutor can stop him, Steve falls dead to the floor, in a puddle of his own blood.
User Reviews
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2006-01-11 18:41:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-01-11 18:32:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2006-01-11 18:21:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm just happy because the guy who just -2'd all my posts has given me about 350 hits today. Not bad. I'm starting to like him.
Submitted by minimumdino (user info) at 2006-01-11 17:27:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Everything you ever wanted to know about Confuzitron
User id: 18057
Registered on or around: 2005-04-12 12:45:21
# Messages posted: 6
# Reviews written: 1202
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 147
# Hits: 2947
Average rating of all messages: 0.99
Submitted by minimumdino (user info) at 2006-01-11 17:25:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
do you catch or pitch?
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-01-11 16:53:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HO HO HO!!! SANTA VOLTAGE IS HERE TO GIVE YOU A +2 TREAT!
Submitted by minimumdino (user info) at 2006-01-11 15:21:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Charlie Brown?
Submitted by minimumdino (user info) at 2006-01-10 19:45:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
is steve your man love?
Submitted by HateFist (user info) at 2005-07-11 12:54:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-07-07 16:46:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
auto +2 for Charles Bronson
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2005-07-07 16:20:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think it's funny that, while only seven people have reviewed this, two of them had 'Steve' in their user names.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-07-07 15:55:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
?
Submitted by doctorj24 (user info) at 2005-07-07 12:40:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That is messed up.
Submitted by NotSteve (user info) at 2005-07-07 12:22:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Not Steve!!!!
Submitted by Satanica (user info) at 2005-07-07 12:09:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What teh hell!
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2005-07-07 11:24:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Where's the love, people? I'd rather be gettin showered with -2's right now than just 3 damned reviews.
Submitted by B-Nizzo (user info) at 2005-07-07 10:44:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're insane. Have a +2
Submitted by egadz (user info) at 2005-07-07 10:26:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Nice.......
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Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-07-07 10:25:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Steve pulls down his pants and takes a huge shit all over the prosecutor's legal documents.