SPT: More Random Thoughts, and A Few Housekeeping Things To Mention (795 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.61 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by spedmonkey <spedmonkey.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-07-07 13:51:48 EDT
First, some stuff I've wanted to bring up for a while, but haven't really remembered until now:
Are there any users in the Rochester area? I'm starting at U of R in the fall, and hey, I dunno. We can go hang out at Wegman's together or something. Let me know if you'd be up for something like that.
Second, are there any users on Audioscrobbler? If so, I created a group called "Ubersite". Go join it. For those of you who have no fucking idea what I'm talking about, Audioscrobbler is this neat little website that logs what music you listen to. My page is here: http://www.audioscrobbler.com/user/rentsregkire/
Just go sign up, and make sure you install the plug-in. Then go find the Ubersite group, and join up. Once we get ten users, it'll keep track of our most-listened-to songs as a group.
Phew, that's all the housekeeping stuff. Now, on to clearing out my brain.
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I never throw anything away. I feel kind of sorry for people who do because, you know, someday you might just have a craving to look at a bread wrapper, but it's too late, because YOU THREW IT AWAY LAST WEEK, DUMBASS!
What would happen if you found a genie and wished that your wish would not come true?
I've always wondered: just how in the hell do you get Superman and an airplane mixed up?
Do you think a parrot's ever gotten confused and said "Polly want a honky"?
Zookeepers probably get a lot of tail.
OK, here's my theory: Winnie the Pooh was always high, Piglet was always drunk, Tigger was always on speed, Rabbit was always coming off a heroin rush, and Christopher Robin was the dealer.
Do clowns have a union? If so, I wonder how long their meetings last before someone gets bored and starts a rubber nose fight or something.
Why is it that there's no letters on the "1" key on a phone? Doesn't it get lonely?
I just realized something: I don't think Hoover's ever made something that doesn't suck.
If you're a female electic eel, you probably get the shocker during sex a lot.
I bet when the Easter Bunny takes a shit, Peeps come out.
IRS agents are probably really good at making lemonade. If they can squeeze so much out of you, imagine what they can do to a lemon!
Speaking of which, if a political party ever named itself the Lemon Party, I'd join it just on principle.
If you work in Special Education, I bet you get tired of hugs real fast.
Opportunity fell into my lap the other day, but he was drunk so I slapped him and pushed him back onto the dance floor.
If you've just snorted a cloud, you've gotta be really high right about now.
As soon as I start thinking people aren't normally retarded, someone just has to go and ruin it.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
This line doesn't rhyme,
And neither does this one.
Peaches should be classified as mammals. Hell, they have more hair that anyone under the age of 14 or over the age of 70.
Time to play a new drinking game! Turn the TV to UPN. Every time a black guy's on screen, you drink.
If you're dating a blind person, it's probably not a good idea to break up by saying "I think we should see other people."
I think it's funny when people say "i own j00", because the Egyptians used to own j00, too, except more literally.
It makes me sad when people ask me if I want white or dark meat. You'd think in this enlightened age it wouldn't matter to folks, but NOOOOOO.
People are always fucking A. I bet after a while the hole gets stretched out so it's more like fucking D.
How did marijuana get the name "pot"? Back in the day if you were smoking pot, it meant it was time the turn the stove off, because the fucking ham and eggs are getting burnt.
If there was ever a guy who could change colors at will, like a chameleon, he'd probably confuse the hell out of the KKK.
I just figured out why Bush got re-elected last year: according to the Chinese, it was the year of the monkey.
I wish I had a chicken for a pet, because, let's face it, who doesn't like choking chickens?
You always hear about Good Samaritans helping people out in times of need, but you never hear about the Bad Samaritans. I bet they just stand around and laugh.
Would Michael Jackson's kid becoming an altar boy be an example of irony?
And, of course, what SPT post is complete without a picture?
User Reviews
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2006-02-06 20:56:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Just checking something...
Submitted by minimumdino (user info) at 2006-01-11 14:04:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
its a lot easier to write something negative than positive isnt it?
Submitted by minimumdino (user info) at 2006-01-10 18:47:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
my ass sounds better than this
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-07-08 00:23:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I thought I took that out, actually. I meant to. Oh well, good catch. -2 for my stupidity.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-07-07 23:33:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Was a +1 until...
"Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
This line doesn't rhyme,
And neither does this one."
C'mon man, use your own material.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-07-07 23:24:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
All but 2 of those made me laugh.
And those two made me cry from the pain in my ribs...
Submitted by doctorj24 (user info) at 2005-07-07 23:09:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Have another +2 because I am still laughing from your picture.
Submitted by sg11588 (user info) at 2005-07-07 16:46:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That picture is awesome.
Submitted by congo (user info) at 2005-07-07 16:22:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
>>>Why is it that there's no letters on the "1" key on a phone? Doesn't it get lonely?
Well, 1 IS the loneliest number.
Submitted by doctorj24 (user info) at 2005-07-07 16:22:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ain't no way I am signing up with some tasty cat and a "sped" monkey. What am I, a veterinarian?
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-07-07 15:41:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Tastycat just signed up. WHO'S WITH US???
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-07-07 15:29:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So, no one lives in Rochester, or uses audioscrobbler? You guys all suck.
Submitted by PlaguedByMurphy (user info) at 2005-07-07 15:10:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If you work in Special Education, I bet you get tired of hugs real fast.
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That was golden
Submitted by morontian (user info) at 2005-07-07 14:50:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So who's going to forward this to Spooner?
Submitted by taurusfh (user info) at 2005-07-07 14:48:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-07-07 14:33:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny until the Cartoon, that was just plain Hilarious
Submitted by Vulva (user info) at 2005-07-07 14:31:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The comic saved you from a +1
That is all...carry on smartly!
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-07-07 14:30:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Do clowns have a union? If so, I wonder how long their meetings last before someone gets bored and starts a rubber nose fight or something.
HAHAHAHAHAHA
that mental image made me snort.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2005-07-07 14:24:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OK, here's my theory: Winnie the Pooh was always high, Piglet was always drunk, Tigger was always on speed, Rabbit was always coming off a heroin rush, and Christopher Robin was the dealer.
_____________________
you forgot Eyore and his ambien dependency.
and you get +2 for one line:
"I've always wondered: just how in the hell do you get Superman and an airplane mixed up?"
Submitted by doctorj24 (user info) at 2005-07-07 14:23:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, I'm still laughing. I love this post.
Submitted by doctorj24 (user info) at 2005-07-07 14:19:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh my gosh this is frickin' hilarious! I laughed big time at three separate points. This line got you the +2:
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
This line doesn't rhyme,
And neither does this one.
And the part about the A being stretched to a D, AND the freaking monkey, HA! HILARIOUS!
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-07-07 14:09:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-07-07 14:00:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment