Viva la Fag! (682 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.11 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by cuckoo4caca (View user info) at 2005-07-10 20:59:49 EDT
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Original Message
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After viewing Bam's TV show Viva La Bam! (Nice use of Spanish and and
exclamation point by the way) I have come to the conclusion that Bam is a fake,
a phony, and a dipshit. Bam's "show" can be summed up in three words: Scripted,
"reality" bullshit. <br>
Here is an example of an entire plot line of a viva la bam episode, and yes they
have plot lines because this show is the most scripted show there is:
<p>Bam: "I found a cannonball in the middle of nowhere, lets go find out if its
a real cannonball or not!" <br>
**Note: Bam now travels to the local Cannonball Authenticator, which is
conveniently just down the street.** <br>
Cannonball Authenticator: "It's god damn real alright, because if anyone would
know what a real cannonball looks like, it would be me." <br>
Bam: "Hey, do you have any cannons that we can shoot this big ass thing out of?"
<br>
Cannonball Authenticator: "I doubt we do, but let me check... Oh my god, I don't
believe it, we have one!" <br>
Bam: "I'll take it." (Notice how a price was never set on this cannon) <br>
**Note: the setting now changes to Bam's house.** <br>
Bam: "We should re-create the civil war and really put this cannonball to good
use!" <br>
Random Dumbass: "Hells yes, I'll call the local civil war recreators!" <br>
**Note: the "Civil war recreators" now show up to Bam's house** <br>
Civil war dipshit: Let's get this battle started! <br>
**Note: The "Civil war recreators" now get the "battle started"** <br>
Bam: "Hey Don Vito, this is a war, and your fat, there aren't fat people in war,
get out of here fatboy!" <br>
Don Vito: "Hey bam, thisss is ja mumja pumbja, and I am the only reason anyone
even watches this show, if it wasn't for me, you'd be stuck without anyone to
make fun of." (I added a little dialogue) <br>
Bam: "Fuck this, let's fire that god damn cannonball!" <br>
**Note: Bam now fires the cannonball, and by some odd chance, it hits his
"treetop casino"** <br>
Bam: "Oh shit, on a 1000000000000:1 shot, this cannonball hit my treetop casino,
when it should've hit those civil war idiots, and it should have killed them
all" <br>
Random Dumbass: "Oh my god bam, your retarted" <br>
**Note: everyone laughs, and the screen fades out to black** <br>
The end.
<p>That is a real episode, summed up in a few lines to be made easily viewed. I
have an idea for bam to use for his next show:
<p>Get a baseball bat and smash the hell out of Don Vito until he dies. Then,
you can run an entire season about planning for some diabolical "Bad ass"
funeral for him, complete with the usual random live bands that show up on the
show. Ex. Slayer. Then, you can open up the casket and have Don Vito jump out
and scare everybody because he wasn't really dead, even though we were all
fooled into believing that we witnessed a first degree murder on cable
television. Bam's mom (having witnessed the newly "revived" Don Vito) then
proceeds to scold Bam for being such a bad kid, even though he basically
provides for his entire family.
<p>In conclusion, Viva La Bam! writers, I am open for writing your episodes for
you, but please find some better actors, I refuse to work with the likes of
April Margera, what a disgrace she is.
User Reviews
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-06-24 10:25:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
:D
Submitted by nrduncan (user info) at 2005-07-22 17:05:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Lies! All lies!
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-07-12 23:46:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Pr0j3ct (user info) at 2005-07-11 02:41:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
I always thought that "Viva La" was an excited way to say "Hey lets go to" in Spanish. Call me a dumbass but what is the actual meaning of that phrase?
**************************
"Long live the." Very similar to "vive la France," which is of course french for "long live France." French and spanish are pretty similar latin-based languages. 'Viva' usually refers to life in latin based languages. 'Vivre' in french means 'to live,' if I recall correctly.
I don't know why I went on and on about that.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-07-11 18:48:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2005-07-10 21:02:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
you know you're cutting-edge when MTV tells you to get bent.
______
tell Sumner Redstone to go fuck himself and his corporate empire
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-07-11 09:02:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I agree. Jackass, Vive le Bam, Dirty Sanchez and all the rest of that crap is right up there with professional wrestling. If I wanted to watch dumbasses get hurt I'd just give fireworks to the local kids.
Submitted by jojojojoan (user info) at 2005-07-11 08:27:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I like Bam. I think he's great. It is a little on the scripted side but I wish I could do some of that shit. It looks fun. BTW I think Viva means live, la means the, bam means bam.
Submitted by jinhenkim (user info) at 2005-07-11 07:51:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you don't have to watch it if you don't like it.
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2005-07-11 03:05:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd watch out if I were you. I mean Bam is pretty badass. He does deoderant commercials for fuck sakes! What a rebel!
Submitted by Pr0j3ct (user info) at 2005-07-11 02:41:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I always thought that "Viva La" was an excited way to say "Hey lets go to" in Spanish. Call me a dumbass but what is the actual meaning of that phrase?
Also, that reminds me of "Vegas or Bust".
What's with that?
Oh, God....I'm turning into Seinfeld.
someone shoot me.
Submitted by dwr_budr (user info) at 2005-07-11 02:39:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I like the show. Who gives a shit if it's scripted or not? Like every fucking show on television isn't.
MTV does suck ass though. I'll wait to really watch it when Comedy Central picks it up after it's audience drops and MTV sells it off low.
Submitted by Shroom (user info) at 2005-07-11 02:10:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wtf is MTV?
Submitted by mxc_jwebber (user info) at 2005-07-11 01:42:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
MTV blows these days.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-07-10 22:25:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
quite fake.
my drugs weren't working the other night and i couldn't get to sleep. hmmm "paid programming" or "Viva La Bam!" ???
<sigh>
the only thing i like about that show is when they put the subtitles down for don vito, and they actually type out his gibberish.
i'm sorry for laughing.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-07-10 21:43:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-07-10 21:35:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I way totally agreed.
Submitted by STIXS (user info) at 2005-07-10 21:19:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have to give this a +2. Good show...(erm, as in good job, not in reference to ¡Viva la Bam!).
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-07-10 21:03:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha
Not bad.
I hate that fucking show.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2005-07-10 21:02:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you know you're cutting-edge when MTV tells you to get bent.