What's Wrong? (501 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.33 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Laura (View user info) at 2005-07-12 05:26:16 EDT
I don't have many stories to tell because I live in a Greek Orthodox extremist convent, and if I
do anything remotely entertaining, they'll publicly flog me and make me wear a chastity belt. But I
do have one!
My friends and I were bored out of our skulls after seeing the entire Halloween series, and it was
too hot outside to make human pyramids and do cartwheels, so we had to pick between going to mid-town
and fucking around in the shops or going to the swimming pool. So we went to Candle Power to look
at the beanie baby collection - we like to arrange them in naughty positions for giggles - but,
unfortunately, somebody had beat us to it. Either that, or they had left them in the positions since
last time. So instead, we got a lot of scented candles and arranged them on the floor in a pentagram,
and then sat in the middle and chanted. The shop keeper didn't give a damn, so we left (we're
attention whores).
Next we went to Books Etc. to ask for random things. First we asked if they had the Book of Shadows
from Charmed. Next for The complete Idiots' Guide To Terrorism. And other things, but I forget.
Anyways, this wasn't the point of the story.
Then we left and were going to go to the swimming pool, but on the way there, there was a little boy
that was bawling his eyes out. Sissy. So we stopped and asked him "What's wrong little sis- boy?"
"I broke my leg on my bike."
Wah.
So I looked at his leg, and sure enough, it was really fucking broken. And I mean snapped in two,
hanging there kind of broken. So I pulled my skirt up my leg and held out my thumb, trying to get
a ride to the hospital. Nobody stopped. Finally, a cop comes, and asks us what happened. He doesn't
understand English very well, so when I said "His leg is broken," he thought we did it. Great.
So we're being driven towards the police station on the opposite side of town, when a deer jumps
out in front of us, and we hit it with a nice thump. The cop's head hit the steering wheel, and
he was out cold for at least thirty seconds. Thirty seconds in traffic, with a half-dead deer
having spasms in front of us. When he finally wakes up, he's confused as hell, so when he asks "What
happened?" we can only give him the perfectly honest reply of, "You were driving us to the hospital."
We finally make it to the hospital, so we carry the boy in to the Emergency Room, when we realize
we have no clue who he is. He's passed out on the bed, and his parents are probably looking for him.
When he finally wakes up, we find out who his parents are, and it turns out they were inside at the
store where we found him, and they were calling an ambulance, but they sent a cop car instead. He
would have gotten to the hospital a hell of a lot faster if we had left him and just went swimming.
The moral of this story is: Leave people to die. They'll thank you for it later.
User Reviews
Submitted by ThineJericho (user info) at 2005-08-07 01:26:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
:nods:
Wasn't bad. Definitely room for amusement, but .. not horrible either.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-07-12 08:32:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Room for improvement. I should know...my teachers used to write that on ALL my papers.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-07-12 07:02:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
meh
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-07-12 06:00:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Made me smile..
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2005-07-12 05:53:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
first half's better than the second. i rekon'd.
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-07-12 05:49:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked it, made me smile!
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-12 05:48:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I am not conflicted.
This is a definate don't bother.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-07-12 05:48:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-07-12 05:44:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Not a -2, because the ending was almost decent....but not worthy of a positive rating either.
I'm conflicted.