Sensitivity Training my ass! (690 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.77 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by MegaManfre (View user info) at 2005-07-12 10:21:45 EDT
So, the other day I was talking to my boss with the 3 other people I kinda boss around, and he makes a statement that the work we get on Monday, needs to get done for next week. Its a gurantee. See, where I work, we have a deadline of Wednesday at 5pm, and that deadline says, anything that we receive by that time, is guranteed to be paid on the following Monday. I think half of what we get is paid. So, to make sure that we are SOX Compliant (read fucked in the ass harder) we needed to change the deadlines, as my company is too cheap to give me more people to get our jobs done. So we changed it to whatever we get on Monday/Tuesday is a gurantee for next Monday, anything on Wednesday will get in for the following, and anything on Thursday and Friday, well theyre screwed.
The thing is, we get to types of items that need to be paid, PO's and Vouchers. Now, the vouchers we dont have a problem with changing the deadline, and it makes things easier. The PO's on the other hand, well, we arent staffed to handle them, as they come down in the thousands, and 4 people process them, and I supervise, and help if I feel like it. Its like owning monkeys, but without the shit flinging. Now this is where sensitivity training comes to play.
My boss comes over and tells me that EVERYTHING we get on Monday/Tuesday has to get in. Not just vouchers, but PO's too. I talked to him like last week, and we agreed just vouchers were managable. He comes over the other day and says everything. Its impossible. I call my staff in while hes there, and have them explain things to my boss. When theyre done, I say, "We could do it, but were gonna get raped in the ass, and I cant speak for anyone else in the room, but I wont like it."
Now, one of the guys I work with, hes gay. The other 2 guys, well, theyre women. Im friends with the gay guy, and one of the girls. The other one can rot in hell cause shes a fucking retart, and can barely function without playing in her own feces. My boss, hes also kinda one of those stick in the ass types, so you can see where I got the sensitivity training course manual from. Not only did I insult the gay guy by saying taking it in the ass, I offended the girls by saying rape, and my boss by saying in the ass, because his stick is shoved up there, and he cant fit anything else.
So, I sit here, in sensitivity training, bitching about getting in trouble to using a paradigm of reality. What do I have to do? Well, its simple, I have to listen to a woman (theyre sensitive) and a gay guy (he wont admit it, but no real man is sensitive) drone on and on about the things you can, and cannot say, to a co-worker, and things that should be left out of conversations.
For example, you can only say certain comments to a female co-workers appearance:
Do: "Thats a nice outfit/skirt/dress/pants/whatever"
Dont: "Hey you look hot in that low cut V-neck without a bra on, and that 2 inch skirt really shows off your ass, not to mention those hooker boots look nice too"
Do: "Youre not fat, you look good"
Dont: "Youre not fat, I dont want to fuck fat chicks"
That is being insensitive.
Not only do we have to hear the most obvious of comparisons, another is
Do: "Nice shoes."
Dont: "Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?"
but, I have to answer a "test" and on this test it has 2 statements, and youre supposed to choose the one thats appropriate for the office. This is a real question off this thing:
You are talking to a female co-worker who is wearing a low cut shirt, what should you do?
A) Stare at her breasts
B) Comment on her breasts
C) State that you are uncomfortable with her choice of clothing, and request she wear something more appropriate for work.
I shit you not, the correct answer, is to tell a chick thats showing off her tits for a promotion, to not show her tits off. This is both a crazy, and funny question, and answer, because, there are women in the class as well. What a woman can do to a guy to land her in this class is beyond me, because unless Im mistaken, there is no way in hell a guy would ever be offended if a chick commented about how big his bulge was, or about how shes been staring at his ass, and wants to get him in bed. But theyre not all that good looking, so that would explain it.
Thats another thing, why do all fat chicks wear the same goddamned purfume?! Its that musty mildew smell with some, like, vinegar mix. Any and every single fat chick Ive ever met in my entire life has worn this purfume. It smells like shit, and all fat people wear it. Not only can you hear a fat person come from a mile away, but you can smell them too.
I can rip the most horrid of ass in an elevator, and a fat chick comes right after, its like the fart is absorbed, and all thats left is rancid fat purfume. There has to be a factory that pumps this crap out by the barrel, because Ive been smelling the same crap on fat chicks since I realized that my penis gets hard on the attractive ones, and the fat chicks make my cock and balls shrivle up and into my rectum. You all know what Im talking about, and dont even deny it. Youve smelled the fat woman, and you wanted to rip your nose off because it was so horrible. It actually brings tears to peoples eyes.
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-07-12 16:16:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-07-12 15:30:31 (#)
Ranking: 0
It looks like a new neat ride at Cedar Pt.
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hahahaha!
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-07-12 16:02:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sounds like you're learning a lot in your sensitivity class.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-07-12 15:30:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It looks like a new neat ride at Cedar Pt.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-07-12 14:37:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
HA HA HA HA HA
+2 because working on SOx compliance here for my employer I feel your pain
-1 for forgetting the NSFW
Submitted by Manfre (user info) at 2005-07-12 13:03:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Has anyone else looked at that picture and thought to themselves "I wonder what cruise line that is" or is it just me?
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-07-12 12:50:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 manfre
Submitted by kimmy02721 (user info) at 2005-07-12 12:39:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've missed your crassness and crude sense of humor.
Submitted by manicvelocity (user info) at 2005-07-12 11:36:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I can forgive the other spelling errors, but the fact that you spelled "retard" wrong negates the entire post.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-07-12 11:32:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
swamp - I posted this on rad's first camwhore. His wedding picture with his wife, a few days after she miscarried. Insensitive?
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2004-11-08 00:16:26 (#)
Ranking: -2
Hadley Tobedone says:
With parents like that, no wonder it aborted itself.
Cheers!
Yeah, I feel kinda bad about it now...
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-07-12 11:06:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy shit, a Manfre sighting!
Submitted by Manfre (user info) at 2005-07-12 10:39:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by swamp_donkey (user info) at 2005-07-12 10:33:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
The most insensitive remark I've seen on Ubersite, but one of the funniest was this response to Shlongy's post about his mother-in-law dying...
Submitted by CanucksFan (user info) at 2005-06-05 14:39:53 (#)
Ranking: -2
Here's to you being next
I still shit my pants with laughter when I see that.
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Thats fucking hilarious!
Submitted by swamp_donkey (user info) at 2005-07-12 10:33:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The most insensitive remark I've seen on Ubersite, but one of the funniest was this response to Shlongy's post about his mother-in-law dying...
Submitted by CanucksFan (user info) at 2005-06-05 14:39:53 (#)
Ranking: -2
Here's to you being next
I still shit my pants with laughter when I see that.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-07-12 10:32:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Its that musty mildew smell with some, like, vinegar mix."
It's called body odour. Some of the much larger women find it difficult to clean certain areas.
You incensitive cock.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-07-12 10:28:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
NSFW!
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2005-07-12 10:28:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What is that picture from?
It's hot.