Yet Another Six-Year Old Bastard... (1410 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.82 on 54 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by HotDog (View user info) at 2003-05-03 12:40:42 EDT
You all remember when a six year old told me to shut the fuck up.
(http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1049841881462727076).
Well now I have follow-up story. I was at the SAME mall, waiting in line to get some pizza and there was this little unsupervised six year old bastard looking at me. Just looking, peering into my soul with a blank stare of contempt, an almost EVIL look, if you will. I say, "Um, do you need something or-" Then the little crap-bag opens his shitty little mouth and says, "watch where you goin' biiiiitch!" in his high-pitch little voice, and he flips me the bird! GOD DAMIT!! I can't believe this! It pissed me off so badly! How dare he!? I am so damn tired of SIX YEAR OLDS telling me what to do.
Well this time, I wasn't POLITE, or HAPPY about it. I went up to the little monkey cumstain and slapped his face. That's right, I hit him square in his stupid little chipmunked face, not hard, but not a love-tap either.
"Owww!"
"OK, listen up ya lil' midget, you appologize to me right now, or I'll beat you again!"
"Sh... Shut up Stupid! My Mommy will blow your head off with-"
I slapped him once more, this time a little harder.
"OWWIE!"
"I said appologize! APPOLOGIZE DAMIT!"
"Sor-ry..." in that stupid sarcastic tone.
I probably shouldn't have been too harsh on the little snot. I mean, he's just a misguided youth that needs to be castrated... but on second thought, this has happened to me before, and if parents aren't going to discipline their kids correctly, then maybe I should. I look back upon this, and question my morals. Do you think I was justified in what I did?
User Reviews
Submitted by audjgirl (user info) at 2003-06-30 08:08:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
did anyone else see in bongzilla's ad that it said dick slap? hahahahah +2 just for that.
Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2003-06-30 06:19:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good shit. Anybody who is dense enough to side with the 6 year old deserves the same fate or worse. Stupid kids are raised by stupid people.
Submitted by Queen (user info) at 2003-06-30 06:07:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
OMG Twee....I was laughing my ass off the whole time I read your reply. I have a 3 year old daughter and have heard her call her big brother that same name....LOL.
Anyways...great comeback and that was funny as hell!
And regarding the post..had that been my 6 year old, (not that he would have dared been so rude) He woulda decked you right in the nuts the minute you fronted him...lol.
=) Queen
Submitted by Pacifist248 (user info) at 2003-06-30 05:45:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 just for little monkey cumstain
Submitted by cozmic (user info) at 2003-05-06 19:53:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
little shits.
i hate children.
Submitted by shaun (user info) at 2003-05-06 15:46:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
why stop there? next time you should tip over his wheelchair. seriously. that little cripple HAS to learn that if he rolls to you, his shit is gonna get stomped.
at least you were able to contribute to his already obviously abusive upbringing.
you're just taking the piss though right?
Submitted by KTMRE (user info) at 2003-05-06 14:52:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Although i hardly believe you actually smacked the kid, he probably deserved it. What sucks is that that six year old will someday become a CEO of some major company doing the same shit to the cubicle people. Assholes are getting younger by second.
Submitted by tartpumper (user info) at 2003-05-06 07:35:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You should have physically disabled him
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2003-05-05 19:54:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You should have beat the shit out of him. Then bought him an ice cream cone.
Submitted by BongZilla (user info) at 2003-05-05 13:41:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lol. THis would be a great ad.
Need Help? Welcome to "HotDog's Child Psychology." Nothing a few bitch slaps across the face can't cure? Is your child a dick? SLAP! Does Your child suffer from an inferiority complex? SLAP Does Your child stutter? SLAP! Here at HotDog's Child Psychology there are no lengths that we won't go to to kick your child's ass right into shape! CAll NOW!
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-05-05 12:38:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I think you missed your calling, you should be a kindergarten teacher.
Submitted by pimpbuster (user info) at 2003-05-05 12:21:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good job going jihad on the little brat. Next time find the parents and unleash your fury on them too.
Submitted by dasteve (user info) at 2003-05-05 12:06:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I don't think this actually happened either. If it did you should realize that slapping other people's children is a pretty sure fire way of getting your ass kicked.
Submitted by catscradle (user info) at 2003-05-05 12:01:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
While I understand and level with you on your dislike for chipmunk faced little bastards, I really don't think you did any of the shit you say you did.
Submitted by streetpunk (user info) at 2003-05-05 11:59:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Kids are dumb.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2003-05-05 11:47:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
With my luck, I would have been arrested on the spot.
But that doesn't mean I wouldn't have loved to crack the brat across the back of his head.
So, if you really did get one or two in, +2!!!! Good job! - the rest of the adult world should thank you too, for that matter.
L
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2003-05-05 11:33:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ü
Submitted by seansdementia (user info) at 2003-05-04 21:57:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I have to say I am not a fan of violence...of the physical kind..pain of the flesh goes away..i wold have scared the little shit by telling him how Id climb into his house..kill his parents, then kill him if he ever spoke that way again...maybe follow the little bastard through the mall to scare him. mental warfare. Thats the way to go.
Submitted by Istaros <archon_templar.at.hotmail.com> at 2003-05-04 15:33:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hot-diggity-dog!!!
Submitted by HotDog (user info) at 2003-05-04 11:51:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"It takes a village to raise a child, and if that child isn't disciplined correctly, then the village has just found its new idiot."
-Isatros
There ya' go. Footnotes are added.
Submitted by HotDog (user info) at 2003-05-04 11:28:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I like how Drink gave this a +1 for "made me smile".
He likes when small children are beaten.
Submitted by Istaros <archon_templar.at.hotmail.com> at 2003-05-04 04:48:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"It takes a village to raise a child, and if that child isn't disciplined correctly, then the village has just found its new idiot."
That, primarily.
Chipolatte, grow up. Only an idiot like you would take the time to look up the "word of the day."
Submitted by drink_DDT (user info) at 2003-05-04 04:03:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You may have slapped one of the only cool six year olds out there. Little kids who cuss are fucking awesome. He must have an older brother like me.
Submitted by HotDog (user info) at 2003-05-03 19:43:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
chip- I know a lot of people who do that.
-Max
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2003-05-03 19:36:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think Isotros just likes to use big words so that people will think he's smarter. The word of the day calender says that "plaugerizing" is the word, so here it is :)
Submitted by HotDog (user info) at 2003-05-03 18:02:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What would I be plagurizing?
Submitted by Istaros <archon_templar.at.hotmail.com> at 2003-05-03 17:50:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If your posts weren't so amusing, I would be quick to call you an unoriginal plagiarist.
Submitted by HotDog (user info) at 2003-05-03 17:44:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just to let you know, I'm signing things with my name now.
-Max
Submitted by Istaros <archon_templar.at.hotmail.com> at 2003-05-03 17:18:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hahahaha HotDog...
Submitted by BongZilla (user info) at 2003-05-03 16:56:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I was always a fan of the trachea slap, that shit stings like a motherfucker!
Submitted by HotDog (user info) at 2003-05-03 16:40:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It takes a village to raise a child, and if that child isn't disciplined correctly, then the village has just found its new idiot.
Submitted by TwEE (user info) at 2003-05-03 16:31:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
The other day I was walking down my street and this 3 year old was running around jumping into one of those little inflatable pools. The kid obviously looked like she was having fun so I asked her "hey kid having fun?"... and do you know what she did? She splashed me and called me a "ca ca head". Can you believe that? CA CA HEAD!!! Such blatant disrespect for her elders. I was extremely shaken up by the whole incident, on the verge of tears even, I mean who wouldn't be right?.... For five days I obsessed over this, I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, couldn't even jerk off to the ladies section in the sears catalog. I'm not a ca ca head, I told my self over and over again.. But still I could hear her voice ringing in my ears "ca ca head, ca ca head". That was more then I could stand, I don't have to take any shit from some 3 year old bitch. So I get up and walk down the road to find this kid. Not even 40 feet from my house and there she was, as if she was daring me to say something. So without even given her a chance to dish out any of her witty put downs I walk over and kicked her in the stomach, BAAMMM. That little skank went flying at least ten feet down the road. Ha ha ha stupid bitch. Maybe now she'll show a little respect.
Actually none of that's true (except for the jerking off to the ladies section in the sears catalog), but seriously what kind of fragile thinned skinned fuck would get upset that a fucking six year old told him off? And just because a six old can outwit you is no reason to hit him, seek therapy.
Submitted by Otter (user info) at 2003-05-03 16:09:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dogger, the next time you go to this mall, take a one wood or a three iron, next little shit that mouths off to you, pactice your driving. Aim for the water hazard fountain that all malls seem to have.
Consider yourself the winner if his head lands in the trash can.
Submitted by OICU812 (user info) at 2003-05-03 15:47:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh. Nice post by the way.
Submitted by OICU812 (user info) at 2003-05-03 15:47:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
kind'f?
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2003-05-03 15:22:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think i've been using "kind've" for so long I forgot it's not really a word. :)
Submitted by BerZerK (user info) at 2003-05-03 14:42:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You did the right thing.
My nephew was like that and he was at my house once when my friends were there.
He was being so obnoxious to us that we all grabbed him and put him in the car
trunk. He wasnt such a punk when all four of us grabbed his ass and stuffed
him in. We just left him in there long enough for the lesson to soak in.
Someone has to teach them.
Next time, stalk the kid until hes alone and pound on him a bit.
Submitted by HotDog (user info) at 2003-05-03 14:34:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
God I'm never having kids.
Submitted by HotDog (user info) at 2003-05-03 14:33:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You can make up almost any contraction on the spot and people will probably decipher its meaning.
But it's not kind've (kind have), it's kind'f (kind of).
Submitted by oddzandendz (user info) at 2003-05-03 14:31:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
not everybody like penises in thier little bums.....yuo cant blame em for being cranky
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-05-03 14:28:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
chip, why did you just make up your own contraction?
kind've?
Submitted by HotDog (user info) at 2003-05-03 14:28:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Hogdot whats with you and 6 year olds...leave em the fuck alone "
I think this line needs to be reversed. You see, I'm not seeking them out. They just sort of... appear and start talking shit at me. Godam, they're annoying as hell...
Submitted by oddzandendz (user info) at 2003-05-03 14:21:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
....i kid cuz i love
Submitted by oddzandendz (user info) at 2003-05-03 14:20:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
same mall? haha....mayeb it's your stalking ground for little boys
Submitted by oddzandendz (user info) at 2003-05-03 14:18:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hogdot whats with you and 6 year olds...leave em the fuck alone
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2003-05-03 14:17:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The only real way to make kids behave is to knock em around even when they're not doing something bad. This way, they'll never ever do anything bad because they know that if they do, you'll get midevil on their ass and get "the brick" out....
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2003-05-03 14:12:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would have taken a pizza cutter to his tongue. But slapping the shit out of him seems to work pretty good.
Submitted by EvilZurr (user info) at 2003-05-03 14:12:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
once at some park or something, a little kid kicked a soccer ball at me and the girl i was with at the moment. it wouldnt have been bad if it were once or twice, but this kid was taking his ball, aiming it at us, and kicking it as hard as his flabby little legs could take it. of course, rather than be confrontational, seeing as how i was entertaining someone, i merely threw the ball into the river that passed through the park and watched the kid cry as his ball got carried away.
i think the first lessons we should learn right after we learn how to speak is to respect of other people and their personal space. seriously, it seems like they all tend to learn this the hard way once they get into junior high and get their asses handed to them. maybe i should go to some elementary school one day and sit in the back with a sign that says 'dont bother me, im reading.' if a kid talks to me, i have the right to kick his ass for not listening to the fair warning. what if he cant read, you may ask. well, he should have learned how to read before he approached me; illiterate people deserve beatings just as much as disrespectful little shits. i hate kids
Submitted by Otter (user info) at 2003-05-03 13:51:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think I'd have accidently kicked the kid a few times. Even after he fell down. Put my soccer skills to use and see how far the main hallway I could goal kick him.
Hate to admit it, chipolatte, but that was actually pretty funny.
Submitted by Nator (user info) at 2003-05-03 13:37:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You did the right thing.
Submitted by HotDog (user info) at 2003-05-03 13:31:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I like your thinking Chip.
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2003-05-03 13:22:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The only way to teach these kind've kids a lesson is to keep em in your car trunk for a while. In Arizona. In the middle of the summer.
Submitted by HotDog (user info) at 2003-05-03 13:20:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The weird thing is that I was at the SAME exact mall. That place must be a breeding ground for little shitbags or something...
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-05-03 13:16:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YES. that's what i told you that should have done last time, too. slap the little fuckers, since it's obvious their parents aren't doing it. if my parents hadn't beat me, i would have kicked old people in the shins and told my grandmother to "go fuck herself" when i was 6 years old.
anyway, that is some funny story. looks like you're just as much of a magnet for unruly 6 year olds as i am of dumbasses on Ubersite!
+2 for slapping that little shit.