SPT - My thoughts on Suicide Bombers (542 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.91 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Belle (View user info) at 2005-07-14 10:06:33 EDT
Has anyone else ever noticed how it's never the people in charge of these terrorist cells that blow themselves up?
I thought you were supposed to get 144 virgins and a shit load of tequila if you did it (and took a few infidels with you), and yet, Osama hasn't done it yet? I mean, could you imagine just how many people would be stood around him if he came out in the open for just ten minutes? Fucking hundreds of soldiers would be standing there - he could take out a whole god damn troop, and yet, he hasn't done it.
It's the same for all the top notch girlies in charge of all of this religious fanaticism. They all SAY it's a fab idea and that you'd be a fucking hero if you did it, but they've never stepped up to the plate.
(The problem would be over a whole lot quicker if they did, but that'd be just an added bonus).
I say they've actually bothered to read the writings properly and have realised that killing yourself is actually not too great an idea, and eternal bliss isn't guaranteed at all. In fact it's much more likely that the Catholics have got it right - eternal hell and damnation is more like it.
Which is why none of the big guys have got the balls to blow themselves up.
And where are all the guys that have been asked to do it, been given the whole "its fab" speech and said "Ok, I'll do it - just let me see you do it first!"?
My first question would be "Ok, I get eternal bliss - that's good - but if you think its so fucking fantastic, how come you're still standing here to tell me about it?"
My final thought on suicide bombers - what happens if they only manage to blow themselves up? Do they still get the virgins? Or does it only count if you take an infidel with you? And do you get to choose the virgins (I've seen some that probably have stayed virgins for a very good reason).
That's it.
Rule Britannia and all of that (they're playing God Save the Queen as I speak*) - I apologise for the lack of any real thought - but this is Shitus Postius Thursdayium.
*not joking about that - we've got degree congregations all week, and they play that to celebrate the students not drinking too much and passing.
User Reviews
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-07-15 18:25:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think a good response to this from the terrorists would be something along the lines of, "Well Osama has the ability to guide these people into taking their own lives. Without him, we would not have any others to execute the jihad"
eh, im tired, you get my drift.
Submitted by CLAIRE1 (user info) at 2005-07-15 18:04:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Belle, I love you... keep up the good work and yes, I want to see you naked!
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-07-14 15:45:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nope, sorry but there are not the calls for mainstream Christians to take back their religion from whackos like there are for Muslims.
If you point out that there are crazy extremists calling themselves Christians, the Christian community starts making a lot of noise about how it is unfair to lump them into the same group with those other people.
for
a
fact
They do not feel an iota of responsibility for the atrocities committed in the same of Christianity because they are not THAT kind of Christian and how dare you suggest that there is no difference.
And yet instantly when I point that out there is an example of Muslims cheering in the streets over 9/11. Well not a single Muslim I know and yes actually I do know a few, cheered 9/11 or any of the other terrorist actions so why should they apologize for it if Christians are not called on to answer for the actions of the KKK?
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-07-14 15:13:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have an erection, seriously.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-07-14 13:33:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-07-14 13:06:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
at least a suicide bomber can only take one shot at it
The people who declare war are never the ones who actually fight it though.
What I find curious is how everyone starts screaming about how the moderate Muslims need to lead the way in taking back their religion from these whack jobs, but yet you never hear the same people say that Christians need to lead the way in taking back Christianity from the crazy fuckers who blow up abortion clinics or that god hates fags guy - odd that really.
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Everyone I have known who works in an abortion clinic was christian (all five of them, not really representative), and when is the last time you saw thousands of people celebrating a abortion clinic being blown up, or a large group of christians saying someone who did that is a hero?
I do get your point, but I have never even met somebody who thinks blowing up abortion clinics is okay, or good, or that the clinics had it coming. I have met muslims who think all of those things about 9/11, and not just when I was in the land of the towelheads.
Submitted by doctorj24 (user info) at 2005-07-14 13:13:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
loki, you didn't get a good enough response in your post on the Phelps guy? --http://www.ubersite.com/m/69518. I thought a good amount of people - same as on this post - made it clear that fanaticism is frowned upon. I see no difference, and so I think your comment is a bit off.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-07-14 13:06:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
at least a suicide bomber can only take one shot at it
The people who declare war are never the ones who actually fight it though.
What I find curious is how everyone starts screaming about how the moderate Muslims need to lead the way in taking back their religion from these whack jobs, but yet you never hear the same people say that Christians need to lead the way in taking back Christianity from the crazy fuckers who blow up abortion clinics or that god hates fags guy - odd that really.
Submitted by doctorj24 (user info) at 2005-07-14 12:53:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, look at this quote I found in abaddon's latest post:
"Firstly, it is my birthday, I will turn twenty-one, although I shall reside mentally around the age of six. "
That explains alot.
Submitted by doctorj24 (user info) at 2005-07-14 12:50:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by abaddon (user info) at 2005-07-14 11:05:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
You say "Which is why none of the big guys have got the balls to blow themselves up."
but that is true for any type of modern warfare....
has Bush/B-liar/(insert leader's name here) fought in their modern war? (as the leader, not during their own army activity in the past)
and also, what is more cowardly, issuing the command to release firebombs on civilians, or telling people to bomb civilians whilst taking their own lives...
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Abaddon, you are an IDIOT. Belle was pointing out the religious BS that suicide bombers are told to fulfill the wishes of the terrorist leaders. And Belle makes perfectly good sense - why, if dying for Allah (and supposedly taking down infidels with them) grants virgins and other things to the bomber, don't Osama and other leaders do it? I'm sure it's not because Osama loves caves.
You, Abaddon, on the other hand, take this opportunity to spew your force-fed left-wing conforming hate-Bush agenda. In modern Western warfare, the leaders are the commanders, not the foot soldiers. Bush has not promised a bunch of virgins, nor has he told any of his soldiers to go blow themselves up. Despite what you THINK, this is not a religious war in Iraq. For Osama and Al'Qaeda, everything they do is religious.
Go find some logic and quit being so ignorant.
Submitted by itchy (user info) at 2005-07-14 12:26:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-07-14 10:36:13 (#)
Ranking: 0
who cares what nelson mandela thinks?
not me.
Jeez if every nigger who went down for 25 years wrote a book the world would drown under nigger books.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-07-14 12:16:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My first question would be "Ok, I get eternal bliss - that's good - but if you think its so fucking fantastic, how come you're still standing here to tell me about it?"
***
I imagine it's something like, "Well, I am making the sacrifice of staying alive so that I can run this organization!! Someone must do the shit job, and I am willing to do it!".
That's what I'd say.
brb- I have to go start a fanatic organization now.
Submitted by abaddon (user info) at 2005-07-14 11:05:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You say "Which is why none of the big guys have got the balls to blow themselves up."
but that is true for any type of modern warfare....
has Bush/B-liar/(insert leader's name here) fought in their modern war? (as the leader, not during their own army activity in the past)
and also, what is more cowardly, issuing the command to release firebombs on civilians, or telling people to bomb civilians whilst taking their own lives...
Submitted by midas_child (user info) at 2005-07-14 10:42:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Isn't the interpretaion of the reward vigins down to the translation? I remember watching a program where they claimed the actual translation was that you got 70 crystal clear raisins. That'd be a real pisser finding that one out at the pearly gates.
Submitted by Mrs.Love (user info) at 2005-07-14 10:24:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That was great.
Submitted by swamp_donkey (user info) at 2005-07-14 10:23:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ask Shlongy, he's blown his fair share of men.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-07-14 10:22:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My question about suicide bombers is thus; women are doing it now in Palestine.
So, what do they get? 70 virgins? I would think that would be the last thing that a woman would want 70 16 year old boys.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-07-14 10:20:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My crayzeee dad believes the leaders abstain from death so that they can fuck all the left over girlys.
Personally I think that the people in charge of these terrorist groups are as islamic as I am and are only using Islam to further their own political agendas. I like to think that anyway, makes me feel safe at night.
Submitted by SimianSidestep (user info) at 2005-07-14 10:18:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Flanders:
They're not perfect, but the Lord says love they neighbor --
Homer: Shut up, Flanders.
Flanders:
Okely-dokely-do.
Hurricane Neddy
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2005-07-14 10:14:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2005-07-14 10:14:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hear they are a blast.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-07-14 10:14:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Even Rocky had a montage...
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2005-07-14 10:09:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dirka dirka jihad!
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-07-14 10:09:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
God dammit!
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-07-14 10:08:42 (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm in 2 minds of how to rate this.
On one hand, it's SPT. All posts that are truely bollocks shall be prased for their idiocy.
On the other hand, this post isn't shit.
I'm going to go for a happy medium of "+0 Should have waited for Friday".