UM III - Official Rules, Timelines, and the Holy Bracket (5343 hits)
Category: UberMadness!Rating: 1.17 on 221 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by _Q_ (View user info) at 2005-07-14 16:55:41 EDT
First things first,
"Yes, I considered a penis in my mouth and I admit it." - Fat Tony (http://www.ubersite.com/m/61888)
Whoever put that up on the uberboard is my new hero.
Now we can get down to business.
Here are the official rules that will be used for UberMadness III. Read them. Breathe them. Live them. Love them.
Then love yourself. It's been a while since you've last rubbed one out and you deserve better than that, now don't you?
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1. BACKGROUND
Uber Madness is an entertainment spectacle unlike any other the world wide web
has to offer. It pits the wit, wisdom, and creative talent of two strangers
against each other in a duel that challenges them to produce a piece from the
same randomly assigned, unknown title as their only inspiration. Their work is
then offered to the will of the public, who vote and determine the ultimate
fate of those participating.
Sounds interesting, doesn't it? Now take that and multiply it 64 times - and
that is only the first round.
But Uber Madness is much more than that.
As the name implies, it is a fever that completely takes over the soul of each
and every competitor who is unlucky enough to fall under its spell. Ubersite
itself is an addiction, but is merely a gentle summer breeze of distraction
compared to the injection of pure adrenaline to the heart that is Uber
Madness.
Every post created by every competitor is the absolute best work that author
has to offer, for this is what the madness does to you.
Will the best you have to offer be enough to top what your competitor has?
Do you have what it takes to face the masses and win?
Do you have what it takes to be Uberlord?
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2. ELIGIBILITY
You are eligible to participate in Uber Madness III if you meet the following
requirements:
a) You are a registered Ubersite user
b) You have at least 3 posts before the date of April 28, 2005, OR
c) You have 200 reviews or more before the date of April 28, 2005
If you do not meet these requirements, you will not be eligible to either vote
or compete in Uber Madness III.
Furthermore, the Uberlord from UM II will not be eligible to participate, in
order to let the competition breathe a little. The Uberlord from UM I is now
again eligible to participate.
Also excluded from competing are the members of the committee who assisted in
the determination of the official rules and or the seeding process. However,
these users will still be allowed to vote on match ups.
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3. SEEDING
Seeding is necessary due to the nature of the elimination-style tournament. Seeds
are earned by competitors by scoring points in three different categories:
committee vote (40%), popular vote (40%), and magic formula (20%). The scores are
summed, and arranged in descending order to get our seeds. There are seeds 1 - 16,
with 8 users per seed. Note that the 16th seed is occupied totally by first round byes
for the top seeds in UM III.
If you have any legitimate complaints or questions about the seed you have
received, an appeals committee will be fashioned to hear your request and make
any necessary changes. Please note that the chance of your seed changing once
the decision has already been made is slim to none, but I like making people
think they have a hope in hell before I crush their dreams.
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4. THE COMPETITION
Now for the nitty-gritty rules of the competition. Most of you should be
familiar with this, but to refresh...
4.a) TIMELINE / VOTING
Ubermadness officially consists of seven rounds. Each round takes 7
calendar days to complete. The bracket will be revealed, but day one
of the round does not begin until the randomly assigned titles have
been delivered. You will know that this has happened by clicking on
the 'submit' button, where you should have the option of clicking on a
special link to "SUBMIT UBERMADNESS III - ROUND X POST 'RANDOM
TITLE'". You will still be able to submit normal posts to the front
page, but your UM post will not show up until your opponent has also
submitted their entry for the title.
You have from midnight on day 1 until midnight of day 5 (the
submission deadline) to submit your post. If you do not do this, your
post will automatically be considered a forfeit, and your opponent
will receive a bye into the next round. If you are past the point of
single elimination (see details on bracket below), you will still be
DQ'ed, no one will replace you, and your consolation opponent will
also receive a bye.
All matches will be posted by the end of day 5, where the official
voting stage begins. Note that if both opponents submit their titles
before the deadline, their match will be open once for voting once the
second entry is received. Voting occurs from day 5 to day 7.
Results, round review, and refreshed bracket is revealed on day 8,
where the cycle will then repeat itself. Here is a review:
-Day 1, Friday at noon, get title
-Day 5, Tuesday at noon, submission deadline
-Day 7, Thursday at noon, voting closes
-Day 1/8, results/wrap-up posted, new titles revealed
4.b) FORMAT / BRACKET
Ubermadness is exciting because you can die in a heartbeat. Rounds 1,
2, and 3 are single elimination. This means that if you lose a match
in any of these rounds, it's sayonara sucker. If you are lucky enough
to make it into round 4 undefeated, this means you are one of the top
16 posters in UM III.
After this point, if you lose, you will face off in the consolation
bracket, and will have to lose a second time to be eliminated.
This is done to keep the number of posts in the final rounds steady,
maintaining the anonymous nature of the contest. It is also an easy
way to determine exactly which place out of 16 these players finish.
If you cannot visualize how this can work, click the link:
http://userweb.intergrafix.net/crazybob/bracket.pdf
4.c) POSTS
The only restriction placed on your UM submission is that it must
somehow incorporate the randomly assigned title (see notes on
disqualifications for the exception to this rule). You can write,
draw, record music in any style/genre just so long as it matches up
with the title. Remember, the more original or well executed, the
better.
No word limit, file sizes follow normal ubersite restrictions. Fucked
if I know what those are.
That being said, there are certain formats that do better than others,
but that is for you to figure out. But seriously, please do not post some
EMO B.S. in the first round where it is all dark and brooding or overly
depressing and the twist is that someone dies at the end. Like the boy kills
his dog or some shit like that for the title "Dog Day Afternoon". Don't do that.
If you do, I will personally hunt you down and make you eat your keyboard.
Because seriously, that shit has been written before. Many times.
4.d) VOTING
When you are reading UM posts, you will see both submissions on the
same page, and you will be given the option to vote for 1 or 2. This
will lead you to the usual 'rate' page, where you can assign a value
of +2 through -2 for the post, fill in your comments, etc. The unique
part of this page is that YOU MUST CONFIRM YOUR VOTE before you hit
'rank'! Your vote will not be allowed to change once you have
submitted this first review, so don't say I didn't warn you!!
Once you have voted, you can see who voted, and for whom. You will be
allowed to review and rate as normal after this.
4.d.i) TIE-BREAKER
In the event of a tie, the winner will be decided by whomever
holds the reigning Uberlord's vote. If the uberlord has not
voted on the match in question, the win will be given to the
lower seed by virtue of putting up a really good fight.
4.e) DISQUALIFICATION
There are a few ways that you can be disqualified as a competitor from
Ubermadness, and are as follows:
i. Deliberately submitting NSFW material.
ii. Revealing the identity of yourself or your opponent before the
voting deadline has passed.
iii. Soliciting votes for yourself or by proxy through e-mail or on
IM channels.
iv. Plagiarizing material for your entry.
4.e.i) COMMITTEE APPEAL
If you feel that there has been a violation of the rules, or
that a judgment has been cast against you unfairly, the UM
committee will hear grievances for a limited time after the
offence. We will hear your appeal over IM, and make a
decision. That decision will be final.
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THE SEEDING (In Order of Ranking)
#1 seeds
razor
Bigmike
bart
johngalt
domenad
corn_nugget
polyamorousAJ
gascs
#2 seeds
method
loki
antluvdog
youarsoghey
iddqd
spikegoddess
funnyascancer
domochevsky
#3 seeds
fabish
JMG114
Pentameter
comicbookguy
BuckeyesTHEGAME
GodLovesALittleLovin
DonkeyOnTheEdge
Snark
#4 seeds
Teephphah
stevie_says
apollo88
potatomanjack
jack11058
maiorano84
NerfHerder
Davros
#5 seeds
AlwaysAnEagle
Stin
Phallic_Cymbals
mrwolf
CookieLass
Coyote
DonovanMD
Adamdidit2u
#6 seeds
Ainkara
shitfuck
Kre8trix
TimeCop
Spooner
Anansie
Impassive-Digressive
Electrictoothsyndrome
#7 seeds
mikethescottish
nitty34
Envenom
Lisa
w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m
Siren
MyNameIsTim
Yes
#8 seeds
thorpe
Bellebrown
rad1101
ess-arr
Spam
bob
ParlorTrick
spedmonkey
#9 seeds
NetProphet
Lechuga
screamfeeder
williamson
Rawrg
darko
Soley_Trinity
Brdn_Nkd
#10 seeds
Merlina
pen_name
zakalwe
jgreening
kai070169
sebcharrot
chipolatte
Dervel
#11 seeds
SiskelandFatboy
wardy
Vermin
BillsSBChamps
c1ndy
JonnyX
Sg11588
Stabkill
#12 seeds
tuesdaydelay
electro
Draqus
MagicAddict
Blitzen
Avals
RyuFu
FuckTheArmy
#13 seeds
Intellismartness
absolutes
MandaPanda
Hirilinara
Yams
Slovin
strbryfanatic
Genko
#14 seeds
indigogecko
calbearspolo
Papajoe
thirty_four_eggs
shandythedog
sublime
scoutcjustice
Totally_Useless
#15 seeds
basassmofo
Id
the_walrus
EatMeCompletely
Wallstreet
DeathJester
AsshOly
RandomJose
#16 seeds
Eight empty spaces. #1 seeds pull a bye for round 1.
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THE BRACKET
Find yourself in the pretty pickshure below, drawn by Blitzkreig_Bob, and you will get to see who you face in the first round! Yay!
First round starts TOMORROW! That's Friday, July 15, 12 pm NOON, bart-bart time.
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THANK YOUZE
Big thanks to everyone on the UM committee: Blitzkreig_Bob, FilthyAssistant, MickGinny, Circe and Jack_McCallum. Also thanks to Razor and bart for technical support and occasional adult supervision. I'd also like to thank Slovin for setting up the kick ass ubermadness website http://www.ubermadness.com, and to Jared for agreeing to compose the round review posts.
One last big thanks to everyone for their patience so far, for writing what are sure to be some stellar pieces, and for voting like it means something!
Love,
The Committee, Inc.
User Reviews
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2005-07-19 18:38:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
These seedings couldnt possibly be worse. Something tells me that the judges are morons.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-07-19 13:22:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
shit, I'm dying here watching my votes. and I have to endure two more days of this?
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2005-07-19 03:53:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So basically to win UM, you have to something of the following?
1) Write a awesome post.
2) Kiss _Q_'s ass.
Sounds easy enough.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-07-18 20:57:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks, guys. I'm fucked now.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-07-18 20:06:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm going to be up against antluvdog if I win? shit.
Submitted by Slovin (user info) at 2005-07-18 19:58:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And yes, my bracket is now 100% correct.
Submitted by Slovin (user info) at 2005-07-18 17:55:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry, I've been on vacation.
I finished my bracket database and it can be easily updated via my admin section with handy drop-down menus next to each competitor's name. If the committee is interested.
My Graphical Bracket, which is larger in pixel size but only ~82Kb:
http://bracket.ubermadness.com/
My Text Bracket, which is smaller still being made entrely of HTML tables. It's ~32Kb:
http://bracket.ubermadness.com/text.php
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-07-18 14:42:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I just worled out my bracket, just to see who's in the next round for me or my opponent.
Freaking iddqd or EatMeCompletely...
I'm just gonna start drinking now..
Submitted by thaumaturge (user info) at 2005-07-18 11:58:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I guess I'm not involved in this edition any longer? I thought that I saw my name with a star beside it on the list as a previous sweet 16 finalist. I did register as well...
I'm not going to cause a fuss over this though. It's easy for the organizers of this logisics-heavy event to overlook one of the more passive members of this site. I'll simply enjoy reading the quality entries and wait for the next competition.
Good luck to all!
T
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2005-07-18 10:41:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-07-18 07:12:47 (#)
Ranking: 0
Do entries not show up until both posters have entered?
--
That's correct.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-07-18 07:12:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Do entries not show up until both posters have entered?
Submitted by intellismartness (user info) at 2005-07-18 06:08:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I made a seed higher than the last? This is coming from the guy who lost Ubermadness 1...
And also, thank god I got internet back in time, though a day and a half isn't much time to write with...
I'll give it my best though
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2005-07-17 20:40:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-07-17 19:32:56 (#)
Ranking: 0
is the deadline noon or midnight?
if it's noon, i guess it would be, on the uber clock: 2005-07-19 12:00:00
is that right?
--
That's right. Take your time, you still have a day and a bit to complete your story.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-07-17 19:32:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
is the deadline noon or midnight?
if it's noon, i guess it would be, on the uber clock: 2005-07-19 12:00:00
is that right?
(it's difficult being in australia because we are so far in advance of you cunts)
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2005-07-17 08:14:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-07-16 23:22:52 (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm told these brackets are incorrect, and that many of the matchups are to be changed. Is this true?
--
Yes. evreything is correct except the way the seeds were arranged in each of the 16 initial regions. This bracket does not reflect how the second round will play out whatsoever.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-07-16 23:22:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm told these brackets are incorrect, and that many of the matchups are to be changed. Is this true?
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-07-16 00:54:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How the Fuck did I get seeded #4?
-Dave
Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2005-07-15 22:16:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sweet! I like this committee.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-07-15 20:54:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
fear not, there will be no forfeit, my holiday was only 1 week.
the history of shandythedog ubermadness seeding is fascinating
um1 - poly and his gang of clowns don't give me a seeding, ie i'm not in the top 64. due to this insult, i withdraw
um2 - to avoid further insults, i enter as alter 'thor' and am ranked near the bottom. when razor discovers thor is actually std, he is troubled that the seedings have been put out of whack, as std is 'one of the top ten writers on ubersite' and should have been a top seed. not fair to the person i met first up in round 1, etc
um3 - std has now returned to his lowly status
ah well, it seems i'm doomed. comicbook guy will slaughter me quickly at least.
although i do like the title, so hopefuly writing something won't be the usual waste of time.
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2005-07-15 19:36:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-07-15 08:46:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
That is entirely possible. I've been out of juice for quite a while, and you made if farther in the last incarnation of Ubermadness than I did. Hell, I think your average rating is higher than mine too.
How the hell are you not seeded higher?
----
When you get your ass beat by the head of the commitee...twice...you can't expect a very strong committee vote. That, coupled with the fact that you don't review or post enough for people to know enough about you to vote for you...leads to a low seed.
Good luck. Oh, am I the only one who thinks that our title is kinda shitty?
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2005-07-15 16:44:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-07-15 04:37:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
Man alive.
I can't believe I have to go against Mikethestupid in the first round.
We're old chums you know, we go way back.
It's like the civil war all over again. I'm going to have to side with the Crown, things will be going really sweet for a day or two but then everything will get royally fucked up by the Scottish Covenant.
And then! And then! Right at the end I bet the cheeky bastard will want to change sides because he doesn't like the Puritan bible or something ghey like that.
Too late Mike, too late!
I'm taking you and your stupid Calvinist ideals out of the game.
So there.
Hope your computer doesn't get a really nasty virus which stops you from posting your entry.
By the way, what's your email address old buddy?
------------------
I'll have you know I consider the puritan bible to be the definitive edition of God's word to date.
I personally forsee our little confrontation as being more like the Jacobite rebellion... scots kick english ass until reaching Derby, where an english spy gives false information and we run back up to Scotland and get butchered... not in collusion with mr. hobbert to exact your regal authority on me, perchance?
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-15 15:05:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
a) You are a registered Ubersite user
b) You have at least 3 posts before the date of April 28, 2005, OR
c) You have 200 reviews or more before the date of April 28, 2005
-----
is this just me, or should that "OR" be an "AND"?
Submitted by calbearspolo (user info) at 2005-07-15 13:56:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy pooping Narf Narf. I have Donkey in the first round. I could be really, really Shamoned.
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-07-15 13:37:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yay! Finally.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2005-07-15 13:18:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey everyone.
It's noon. I've sent the necessary files to bart, it's just a matter of him getting a minute to upload everything.
I'll be posting when I get the word from him. There are a few other things I need to share before it all starts.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-07-15 13:18:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What. The. Fuck. WHERE ARE THEY???
Submitted by sg11588 (user info) at 2005-07-15 13:17:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WUT THU FOODE?!?!?!?!?!
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-07-15 13:11:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well?
Has anyone gotten it yet?
Submitted by sg11588 (user info) at 2005-07-15 13:07:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
DERRRRRRRRR!
IT'S 12 BART BART TIME!!!
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-07-15 12:55:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We'll just hafta wait 7 minutes and see.
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-07-15 12:52:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
4.a) TIMELINE / VOTING
Ubermadness officially consists of seven rounds. Each round takes 7
calendar days to complete. The bracket will be revealed, but day one
of the round does not begin until the randomly assigned titles have
been delivered. You will know that this has happened by clicking on
the 'submit' button, where you should have the option of clicking on a
special link to "SUBMIT UBERMADNESS III - ROUND X POST 'RANDOM
TITLE'". You will still be able to submit normal posts to the front
page, but your UM post will not show up until your opponent has also
submitted their entry for the title.
You have from
***midnight***
on day 1 until midnight of day 5 (the
submission deadline) to submit your post. If you do not do this, your
post will automatically be considered a forfeit, and your opponent
will receive a bye into the next round. If you are past the point of
single elimination (see details on bracket below), you will still be
DQ'ed, no one will replace you, and your consolation opponent will
also receive a bye.
All matches will be posted by the end of day 5, where the official
voting stage begins. Note that if both opponents submit their titles
before the deadline, their match will be open once for voting once the
second entry is received. Voting occurs from day 5 to day 7.
Results, round review, and refreshed bracket is revealed on day 8,
where the cycle will then repeat itself. Here is a review:
-Day 1, Friday at
***noon***,
get title
-Day 5, Tuesday at noon, submission deadline
-Day 7, Thursday at noon, voting closes
-Day 1/8, results/wrap-up posted, new titles revealed
*********************
Has anyone figured out if it's noon or midnight yet?
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-07-15 12:48:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wanted to let everyone know that if you are putting chicken into fettuccini alfredo, you should put in the cheese, butter, and milk in first. If you put the chicken in first, you get buttered pasta with chunks of cheese covered chicken scattered throughout.
that is all I have to share
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-07-15 12:44:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
19 more minutes, Cindy.
I think.
Yea, because Chicago is 1 hour behind my time.
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2005-07-15 12:29:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mrrrrrhah!
*shakes fist towards all and sundry*
*slinks back to cave*
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-07-15 12:23:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OK, I don't understand how I get my title. Someone patient explain please. It's gone 12 uber time so I should have it?
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-07-15 12:05:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
please submit the Uber Madness titles so I can GO HOME....
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2005-07-15 09:35:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-07-15 09:24:56 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sg11588 (user info) at 2005-07-15 09:21:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know if I'm alone here, but I'm not a big fan of the schedule. I actually I have things to do every weekend so that leaves me only 3 days out of 5 to work on my submission. I guess it's too late to bring this up now, seeing as how the titles go out today, but if eventually the rounds would start on Monday's that would be awesome.
But then again, I am probably the only one that has this problem, so I guess I'll just have to deal with it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You're not alone... I'm going to be struggling to fit it in too.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
About the only advantage I'll have over some of you
Submitted by sg11588 (user info) at 2005-07-15 09:27:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WOOT I'M NOT ALONE!
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-07-15 09:24:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sg11588 (user info) at 2005-07-15 09:21:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know if I'm alone here, but I'm not a big fan of the schedule. I actually I have things to do every weekend so that leaves me only 3 days out of 5 to work on my submission. I guess it's too late to bring this up now, seeing as how the titles go out today, but if eventually the rounds would start on Monday's that would be awesome.
But then again, I am probably the only one that has this problem, so I guess I'll just have to deal with it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You're not alone... I'm going to be struggling to fit it in too.
Submitted by sg11588 (user info) at 2005-07-15 09:21:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know if I'm alone here, but I'm not a big fan of the schedule. I actually I have things to do every weekend so that leaves me only 3 days out of 5 to work on my submission. I guess it's too late to bring this up now, seeing as how the titles go out today, but if eventually the rounds would start on Monday's that would be awesome.
But then again, I am probably the only one that has this problem, so I guess I'll just have to deal with it.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-07-15 09:20:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Forgive me for being presumptuous but, I thought alters weren't allowed.
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?user_id=17029
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2005-07-15 09:14:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
great work.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-07-15 09:06:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what the hell is up with the brackets? what is everyone going on aboot?
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-07-15 08:49:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Besides, even if I DID beat you, I'd just have to take on Method. I think. No idea what they are talking about with the brackets.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-07-15 08:46:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2005-07-15 07:06:23 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-07-14 18:10:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
Genko, huh? Eeeeeeeeeenteresting.
Do I dare look to see if titles are up yet?
What's the point? You're going to lose either way.
----------------------------------------------------------
That is entirely possible. I've been out of juice for quite a while, and you made if farther in the last incarnation of Ubermadness than I did. Hell, I think your average rating is higher than mine too.
How the hell are you not seeded higher?
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2005-07-15 08:33:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-07-15 08:12:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-15 07:27:33 (#)
Ranking: 0
really?
I was under the impression that everyone in the world owned a pc
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
No I only use a computer during the week when at work.
No need to have one at home. Too busy having a life..
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Hate to say it rad, you know I love you, but you just got pussy-whiped suga...
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-07-15 08:12:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-15 07:27:33 (#)
Ranking: 0
really?
I was under the impression that everyone in the world owned a pc
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
No I only use a computer during the week when at work.
No need to have one at home. Too busy having a life..
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2005-07-15 08:10:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So, I'm up against Yams huh?
If they can get you at thanksgiving, I can only imagine what they'll do to me here.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-07-15 08:04:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-07-14 21:38:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
Haven't read the reviews, haven't the time...
Few things of note.
1) Bracket is messed up. I almost creamed when I saw that Donkey was going to be my first possible victim so I scanned to make sure that he did actually get an 8 or a 9 seed. Then I lost my erection.
_________________________________________________________________
I'd appreciate if you left me out of your rape fantasies in the future.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-07-15 07:47:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-07-14 22:18:30 (#)
Ranking: 1
Shandy a 14 seed?!?!?!
He, and maybe that Bickerstaff guy, are the only real writers on this website."""
ahem.
anyway, electro higher seed than shandy is funny.
what isnot funny is shandy is, i think, away on hols (although what the layabout needs a holiday for I know not) for the next 3 weeks.
so forfeit for him.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-15 07:47:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
too complicated to do it correctly, apparently.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-07-15 07:33:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It reassures me that the bracket is that complicated.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-07-15 07:31:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-15 07:27:33 (#)
Ranking: 0
really?
I was under the impression that everyone in the world owned a pc """
me too.
fucking brits/irish.
skint the lot of 'em.
povs.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-15 07:27:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
really?
I was under the impression that everyone in the world owned a pc
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2005-07-15 07:18:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-07-15 07:08:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-15 07:04:55 (#)
Ranking: 0
merlina, you have yes. you see where the line continues?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh I get it... right who is this 'yes' character... better check him out.
So 12pm YOUR time... god your hours behind... damn. Which means I won't get the title now till Monday *groan*
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That's unlucky. I've got to hold on at work half an hour extra to get the title, but I still get the desperatly needed weekend to think and write.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-07-15 07:08:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-15 07:04:55 (#)
Ranking: 0
merlina, you have yes. you see where the line continues?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh I get it... right who is this 'yes' character... better check him out.
So 12pm YOUR time... god your hours behind... damn. Which means I won't get the title now till Monday *groan*
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2005-07-15 07:06:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nothing personal though, I can assure you.
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2005-07-15 07:06:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-07-14 18:10:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
Genko, huh? Eeeeeeeeeenteresting.
Do I dare look to see if titles are up yet?
What's the point? You're going to lose either way.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-15 07:04:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
merlina, you have yes. you see where the line continues?
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-15 07:04:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OR IS IT MIDNIGHT I AM SO CONFUSED
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-15 07:03:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
not noon your time, noon über time.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-07-15 07:01:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-07-14 17:40:27 (#)
Ranking: 1
Am I just high or is that the most confusing bracket ever devised?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don't it either - have i got net_prophet or Yes ?
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2005-07-15 07:01:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Uh, aren't the titles supposed to be up by now??
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-07-15 06:41:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
shandy is away for three weeks.
just remembered.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-07-15 06:35:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i am guilty of that too though.
anyone else notice when you get your title you either think of something straight away or end up shoehorning something in?
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-07-15 06:34:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
having said that reading his last um posts it would be easier if he just submitted the HHGTG and saved himself the bother.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-07-15 06:17:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
it has just come to my attention that Slovin is actually very good.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-07-15 06:02:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
COMICBOOKGUY V SHANDYTHEDOG???
Oh my.
That should be quite the clash....
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-07-15 05:48:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
aaargh Soley v Belle my two favourite Uberbitches.
Who to vote for? WHO TO VOTE FOR??
Har har mikethecarrottop v durkel mcferret should be interesting.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-07-15 05:29:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
fucking hell talk about a tough path.
slovin the prob rizzo.
rizzo is fucking brilliant.
what's this talk about the bracket being fucked up?
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-07-15 04:44:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hope I get a title about ferrets otherwise I'm screwed.
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-07-15 04:37:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Man alive.
I can't believe I have to go against Mikethestupid in the first round.
We're old chums you know, we go way back.
It's like the civil war all over again. I'm going to have to side with the Crown, things will be going really sweet for a day or two but then everything will get royally fucked up by the Scottish Covenant.
And then! And then! Right at the end I bet the cheeky bastard will want to change sides because he doesn't like the Puritan bible or something ghey like that.
Too late Mike, too late!
I'm taking you and your stupid Calvinist ideals out of the game.
So there.
Hope your computer doesn't get a really nasty virus which stops you from posting your entry.
By the way, what's your email address old buddy?
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-07-15 04:27:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You think that's bad rad?
I got put up against the guy who made http://www.ubersite.com/m/57530
OH NOES!
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2005-07-15 04:23:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ummmm... can I play ?
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-15 04:12:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHA thorpe.
They put me up against this guy.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/70582
I DONT STAND A CHANCE
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-07-15 04:08:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, that's the end for me. You put me up against the guy who posts THESE?? http://www.ubersite.com/m/56584
Goodbye cruel world.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-15 03:52:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I obviously have no reading comprehensino skillz
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-15 03:52:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought you did the little boy sucking cocks one and he did the prison rape one.
Submitted by a_little_more_time (user info) at 2005-07-15 03:45:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Huh-whoops. Never mind. I did the "What harm came from a child sucking a cock?" one.
Submitted by a_little_more_time (user info) at 2005-07-15 03:36:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hadtobedone is lying. I did the Uberboard post. Read the comments for FatTony's last post for proof.
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2005-07-15 03:04:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn... Not an easy first opponent...
Submitted by ParlorTrick (user info) at 2005-07-15 02:11:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Siren, thanks for the timely boost of confidence.
I have been released from my hiatus at the Betty Ford Center for Ubersite Addiction just in time for UM III - as luck would have it.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-07-15 02:02:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/70751
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-15 01:38:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-07-15 00:21:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
Rad, I think your gonna beat me.
---
you keep using grammar like that, yes I probably will.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-15 01:36:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hey, I know this is probably already addressed, but are the deadlines noon or midnight?
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2005-07-15 01:23:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I fucked up in order to get drunk.
Sorry people, you have every right to be upset with me.
This all shall be fixed tomorrow.
Submitted by RandomJose (user info) at 2005-07-15 01:07:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Who the fuck is Method?
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-07-15 01:05:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-07-14 21:38:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
Aside from ParlorTrick, wardy, Id, pen_name, and Impassive-Digressive. The rest of you I'm familiar with.
-------------------------------------------
I remember ParlorTrick! But she doesn't post much anymore. I remember she was a great writer, and I voted for her (even though I don't know if she remembers me at all). I'd watch out for her.
Submitted by absolutes (user info) at 2005-07-15 01:01:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Haha, I'm so fucked.
Here goes nothing.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-07-15 00:46:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am not one of the six, but if I get lucky I'll never have to face one of those six so i'll have a chance.
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2005-07-15 00:35:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Let me just take a moment to say this: Five, maybe six people on this site can actually write, that is, beyond simple comediac bullshit. Jgreening, you aren't one of them, i.e., you suck.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-07-15 00:27:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I wish I was in the loser to M bracket.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-07-15 00:21:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Loser to M" bracket looks like a BITCH...
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-07-15 00:21:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Rad, I think your gonna beat me.
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-07-15 00:12:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
...But... how did I end up with maiorano84 as my opponent?
...I'm stunned. WHY ME?!!!!!!!
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-15 00:05:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-07-14 17:07:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-07-14 17:00:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
I FUCKING GOT RAD
HAHHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAAAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
----
not cool, I wanted to actually get past the first round.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-07-15 00:05:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So we get titles at noon then?
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-07-14 23:40:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The bracket I'm in is chock full of excellence and coolness.
This is going to be fun.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-07-14 23:19:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
AJ, there is a fart that's just lingering in my asshole right now that I think you'd be perfect at extracting with your hoover-like mouth.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-07-14 23:16:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I eat strawberries for breakfast...
...with my Special K!
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-07-14 23:02:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
stevie, bribe your opponent with strawberries to get her to forfeit
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-07-14 22:57:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The first round matchups are right. It's just their placements within the brackets that's wrong.
Order of seeds in MarchMadness:
1 v 16
8 v 9
5 v 12
4 v 13
6 v 11
3 v 14
7 v 10
2 v 15
For UberMadness it's:
1 v 16
3 v 14
5 v 12
7 v 10
9 v 8
11 v 6
13 v 4
15 v 2
That's just how I understand it. The only time I have to look at a bracket at work is during MarchMadness. The rest of the time it's roundrobin bullshit...
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-07-14 22:41:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Corn, I think the first round matchups are right, (but not like it matters for you Ms. I have a number one seed so har har you peeners) (i loooooooooooove you) but I think the set-up for advancing is wrong.
Not a big deal, just would need to be fixed by next week...
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-07-14 22:20:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Electro is a higher seed than Shandy.
Hahahahahahaha.
In your face, you bearded Aussie.
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-07-14 22:18:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Shandy a 14 seed?!?!?!
He, and maybe that Bickerstaff guy, are the only real writers on this website.
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-07-14 22:17:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
WHERE'S CABARETGIRL
I VOTED HER IN
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-07-14 22:15:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
COMICBOOKGUY VS. SHANDYTHEDOG???!?!
What a fucked up matchup that is.
BTW, I am protesting UberMadness because it is queer.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-07-14 22:06:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
are the brackets actually changing?
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-07-14 21:57:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Aj.
10-15 "minimum".
Those are the ones I'm really proud of.
Then another 20 or so that are pretty decent, but not my best.
Then another 30-40 that are just run o' the mill, and the other half were just put out there for S&G.
Plus about 12 reposts etc etc etc...
Wait a second... I'm explaining myself to a freak of nature beanpole...
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-07-14 21:50:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-07-14 21:46:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
10-15 out of 152 isn't that great a ratio, buddy. Foamy could top that.
------------
No. He couldn't.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-07-14 21:46:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
11) ETS is still being a bitch about this?
hahahaha
How does it feel to have a life so vapid and devoid of meaning that you exert so much effort to complain about a little contest?
hahahahaha
And 12)
"Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-07-14 18:01:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
Sphagnum, I'm not saying he's a pushover or anything of the sort. I read his stuff, and I like his stuff.
But it just seems that everyone thinks I'm nothing but a shit poster, and I have 10-15 posts minimum that prove oterwise."
***
10-15 out of 152 isn't that great a ratio, buddy. Foamy could top that.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-07-14 21:42:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"It's been a while since you've last rubbed one out and you deserve better than that, now don't you?"
I always beat off to UM brackets.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-07-14 21:38:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Haven't read the reviews, haven't the time...
Few things of note.
1) Bracket is messed up. I almost creamed when I saw that Donkey was going to be my first possible victim so I scanned to make sure that he did actually get an 8 or a 9 seed. Then I lost my erection.
2) CBG v. Shandy? I thought the point of the seeding was to save matchups like those until the end of Ubermadness.
3) I think it is going to be absolutely fucking hilarious that screamfeeder is going to face corn_nugget once the bracket gets fixed. Did it on purpose, didn't you?
4) Please for all that is holy let Electro manage to come up against me.
5) That being said Electro is the only one who scares me in my bracket...
Aside from ParlorTrick, wardy, Id, pen_name, and Impassive-Digressive. The rest of you I'm familiar with.
6) Wardy will take our bracket. May not be the best attitude to have going in but I'm calling it right now.
7) You guys are doing a great job.
8) Method got a lower seed HAHAHAHAHA. (See #7)
9) I should leave work.
10) Maybe I'll get a burrito on the way.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-07-14 21:36:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ahahaha, wallstreet vs. ghey. there's a gloriously unfair match.
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-07-14 21:30:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
im fucking pissed im not in ubermadness. it would give me a chance to bust out the real grade-a shit.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-07-14 21:28:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dear Mr. Ninja,
Kill everyone on my side of the bracket, except for me.
Thanks,
Steve
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-07-14 21:17:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
it's not there, I'm going to write a strongly worded letter to some one. Haven't decided who yet. Maybe Santa Claus. Or maybe a pirate.
Yeah...a pirate....Ya-harg.....
---------
Pirates suck.
Write a ninja.
Shit will get done swift and silent.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-07-14 21:11:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2005-07-14 20:32:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
Or repeat entire chunks of dialogue from North by Northwest, playing both main character roles?
--
Off the top of my head...
"What is this, some kind of a joke?"
"Yes, a joke. We laugh in the car."
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-07-14 21:11:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ok, remind me not to write when drinking....jesus
I actually skipped some words there...
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-07-14 21:10:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is it odd that I hope I down efore the possibility of facing off against stevie_says?
Stupid-better-comedy-writing-bastard
I mean...Good Luck!!
(Crap...)
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-07-14 21:03:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Who am I kidding. I'm not getting up early. Fuck that.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-07-14 20:58:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm getting up early on my day off to check for my title.
If it's not there, I'm going to write a strongly worded letter to some one. Haven't decided who yet. Maybe Santa Claus. Or maybe a pirate.
Yeah...a pirate....Ya-harg.....
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2005-07-14 20:52:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jack is far too complimentary of me. Nice to have the #1 guy backing me, especially one as talented as him. Like I said though, I'm going to put together some crazy shit, dudes. I may win, I may not, but I'm really going to drop some hammers.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-07-14 20:33:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2005-07-14 20:11:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
Sphagnum, I don't know or care about your Uberbattles, but maybe you should calm down.
None of the words you just said should ever be said by and directed to any internet forum user of any kind.
This, all of this, is not only not a big deal, it's such an unimagineably small deal, it merits mentioning.
-----
Hey, just because I'm not competing doesn't mean I'm not allowed to try and psyche people out.
Jay is thick skinned enough to handle it. I have a small amount of admiration for him because he believes in his own ability.
There isn't really a need to play high and mighty. I hardly think what I've said warrants a need for me to "calm down".
Like I said, good luck to all competitors, I look forward to seeing the best of the best battle it out.
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2005-07-14 20:32:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-07-14 19:18:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2005-07-14 17:50:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
Going to be an interesting one. Pistols at dawn, Mr. Dervel!
--------
I can't vote for either of you. How do I possibly choose between my past love-of-my-life and my court jester? Can't be done.
--------
But can Dervel touch his nose with his tongue? Or repeat entire chunks of dialogue from North by Northwest, playing both main character roles?
I think you know where your loyalties lie.
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2005-07-14 20:28:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
There is no DOUBT I can write better then 89% of the people currently listed. Is it to late to seed?
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-07-14 20:24:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks. I didn't say that you were lacking in talent.
However, w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m only needs to turn up and he will whip you.
I didn't join for a reason champ. I don't want to take up a spot and then not have the time to post(If I was voted in, of course). That was just me being selfless. I apologise if that is not your credo.
Ahhh, good luck anyway. I hope you do as well as you expect you will.(I'm actually being sincere)
The same goes for all the other aspirants for the title.
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2005-07-14 20:22:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-07-14 20:16:52 (#)
Ranking: 0
There you go, shooting off at the mouth again. Do you realise how much like a douchebag you are going to look if you get fucked over in the first round?
-------------------
I'll look like just as big a douche as the other 59 people who lost.
BUt no one should ever go into anything thinking they'll lose.
If I do, fine.
But I don't plan on it.
Just be happy that you are in and fucking post whatever it is you are going to post. Stop giving the lonely heart story about how nobody reads your stuff and you are way more talented then people give you credit for.
---------------------------
You're and idiot here.
I'm being overlooked in that no one thinks I'll do anything. They don't think I have any talent. They think I'll be the next best thing to a bye. And I'm not. W better bring his A game, pardon the cliche.
You should stop worrying about other people's matches, Sphagnum, and concentrate on yo... Oh wait.
I'll have my money on w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m in the first round thank you very much. What odds will you give me?
--------------------------
I'm guessing 75% of the people on Uber would "put money" on him. But that's OK for me. Shit, stroke his ego as much as you can. Because if people keep telling him that he'll have a walkover on me, maybe he'll start listening, and not put out his best effort.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How the hell I'm involved in this I don't know, but I'm not assuming anything from anyone. I'm just going to write what I write and see how it goes.
My ego would struggle to get larger despite who strokes it (excluding Pentameter for so many reasons). Just enjoy it, my dear dudes
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-07-14 20:16:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
There you go, shooting off at the mouth again. Do you realise how much like a douchebag you are going to look if you get fucked over in the first round?
-------------------
I'll look like just as big a douche as the other 59 people who lost.
BUt no one should ever go into anything thinking they'll lose.
If I do, fine.
But I don't plan on it.
Just be happy that you are in and fucking post whatever it is you are going to post. Stop giving the lonely heart story about how nobody reads your stuff and you are way more talented then people give you credit for.
---------------------------
You're and idiot here.
I'm being overlooked in that no one thinks I'll do anything. They don't think I have any talent. They think I'll be the next best thing to a bye. And I'm not. W better bring his A game, pardon the cliche.
You should stop worrying about other people's matches, Sphagnum, and concentrate on yo... Oh wait.
I'll have my money on w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m in the first round thank you very much. What odds will you give me?
--------------------------
I'm guessing 75% of the people on Uber would "put money" on him. But that's OK for me. Shit, stroke his ego as much as you can. Because if people keep telling him that he'll have a walkover on me, maybe he'll start listening, and not put out his best effort.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-07-14 20:15:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Where the fuck is MY thanks, Q?
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-07-14 20:12:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Okay, now we all chip in $10 and winner takes all.
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2005-07-14 20:11:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sphagnum, I don't know or care about your Uberbattles, but maybe you should calm down.
None of the words you just said should ever be said by and directed to any internet forum user of any kind.
This, all of this, is not only not a big deal, it's such an unimagineably small deal, it merits mentioning.
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2005-07-14 19:58:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wellll shit.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-07-14 19:57:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-07-14 18:01:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
Sphagnum, I'm not saying he's a pushover or anything of the sort. I read his stuff, and I like his stuff.
But it just seems that everyone thinks I'm nothing but a shit poster, and I have 10-15 posts minimum that prove oterwise.
I get looked over all the time, and I think it's funny.
Just because people hate me, doesn't mean I don't have a chance.
This is anonymous, remember?
-------
There you go, shooting off at the mouth again. Do you realise how much like a douchebag you are going to look if you get fucked over in the first round?
Just be happy that you are in and fucking post whatever it is you are going to post. Stop giving the lonely heart story about how nobody reads your stuff and you are way more talented then people give you credit for.
I'll have my money on w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m in the first round thank you very much. What odds will you give me?
Submitted by gascs (user info) at 2005-07-14 19:53:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
gascs is a number one seed? who the hell came up with that dumbassed idea?
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-07-14 19:42:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-07-14 18:58:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2005-07-14 18:49:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
ets,
You have failed to push my buttons. But congratulations on being a whiny bitch. Hope that's working out for you.
--
I just spit water on myself. Thanks.
--------------
Congratulations, Jack, now maybe that drool stain will go away.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-07-14 19:39:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2005-07-14 19:35:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
Word of advice to everyone: Don't ever make the stupid mistake of posting a .bmp. Speaking from experience, Darko and I tallied up the reasons behind votes of my losing round last UM, and it literally cost me the match.
BMP = BAD
JPG = GOOD
-------------
Yes. Yes I am.
jay Peg
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2005-07-14 19:35:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Word of advice to everyone: Don't ever make the stupid mistake of posting a .bmp. Speaking from experience, Darko and I tallied up the reasons behind votes of my losing round last UM, and it literally cost me the match.
BMP = BAD
JPG = GOOD
Submitted by sg11588 (user info) at 2005-07-14 19:30:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh yea, in the paragraphs it says that we have from midnight on the first day to midnight on the 5th day, but in the outline it says from noon on the first day to noon on the 5th.
Huh?
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2005-07-14 19:30:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2005-07-14 17:55:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
For fuck's sake. Envenom in the first round???
God-dammit...
________________________
Relax, humor doesn't go over well in UM and I suck at writing serious fiction so...
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2005-07-14 19:28:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
To quote Marvin Gaye, "Let's Get it On."
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-07-14 19:19:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Honestly, ets, I personally don't mind you, but the threat of your withdrawl isn't exactly going to make a lot of people scramble to your side of the argument.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-07-14 19:19:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh man - I've got my work cut out for me. Hey Committee, I can help out if you need it, I get the feeling I'm gonna be freed up soon.
Oh, and on another note: Don't even THINK about plagiarizing. I myself busted someone in the later rounds last UM, and it wasn't pretty.
A lot of people here have read a lot of stuff, just just don't try it.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-07-14 19:18:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2005-07-14 17:50:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
Going to be an interesting one. Pistols at dawn, Mr. Dervel!
--------
I can't vote for either of you. How do I possibly choose between my past love-of-my-life and my court jester? Can't be done.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-07-14 19:15:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't think it's a matter of Razor stepping on anyone's toes or taking control. Anyone with a rudimentary knowledge of seeding could've pointed out that the bracket is flawed. Higher seeds shouldn't face each other until the later rounds. Mistakes, though, are fixable, and we'll all have a good time.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-07-14 19:06:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gascs is going to win, and then convert us all to pulsehead,
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-07-14 19:04:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
umm, are you trying to put me off siren? cause that mental image is going to stay with me.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-07-14 19:03:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Man, did this UM III just work my IBS... colon hit critical mass about 3 minutes ago, and I'm still recovering. Phew!!!!
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2005-07-14 18:58:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I agree with zakalwe about the Random Joe feature. I always liked it, but it was abused in the past. However, it was always very useful in UM comps.
And yes, Jack, that was a compliment. It's just hard to get my ass kicked and say "Nice boots" while I'm sitting on the floor.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-07-14 18:58:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2005-07-14 18:49:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
ets,
You have failed to push my buttons. But congratulations on being a whiny bitch. Hope that's working out for you.
--
I just spit water on myself. Thanks.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-07-14 18:55:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-07-14 18:53:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
I sent Bart a message about this last week, but seeing the rules made me remember to bring it up again.
Can we bring back the Random Joe function for this, so that people can comment anonymously as Author 1 and Author 2? That was a well-used facility last Ubermadness. Just so people don't run afoul of the "not giving away your identity" rule.
------------------------------
Bring it back!
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-07-14 18:54:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh, I do intend to take this seriously Siren. This'll be my first time, and I don't intend to crash out. Even with the "no NSFW" handicap.
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2005-07-14 18:54:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Can see this one being a bit tough
"I like my opponent, I think he's a good man, but I'm gonna make orphans out of his children"
Just kidding. I'm never that cocky. Until after I win. I just want something to refer back to prove my confidence
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-07-14 18:53:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I sent Bart a message about this last week, but seeing the rules made me remember to bring it up again.
Can we bring back the Random Joe function for this, so that people can comment anonymously as Author 1 and Author 2? That was a well-used facility last Ubermadness. Just so people don't run afoul of the "not giving away your identity" rule.
Short notice now though.
Also, I was a little confused about timings. You say the post will appear before the deadline, at the time when second author submits their post. Yet you say that voting on the post only commences after the deadline. Does this mean that posts will drift off the front page before it is possible to vote on them? Or will there be some kind of panel at the side, as in the last comp?
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-07-14 18:51:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-07-14 18:40:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
siren? have to look her up. fingers crossed she isn't a serious writer.
------------------------------------------
I was just thinking the same thing about you...
*one suspiciously raised eyebrow*
Start your engines.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2005-07-14 18:49:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ets,
You have failed to push my buttons. But congratulations on being a whiny bitch. Hope that's working out for you.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-07-14 18:47:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-07-14 17:18:31 (#)
Ranking: 0
DonavanMD pretty much lucked out and got a bye. ELECTRO!
--
Hahaha, I laughed and thanked the Uber Gods when I saw that. Then again, even though I'm a 5th seeder with Adam, Cookielass, Stin and some other good writers, I'm an UM virgin and might fuck up and blow it under the pressure!
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-07-14 18:40:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
siren? have to look her up. fingers crossed she isn't a serious writer.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-07-14 18:37:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Domenad won't even have to start the engine until
the final four or so. Hell, that's gonna be a smooth ride.
And when that big V8 kicks in, BAM!
(Don't let me down now, boy. I know a guy in Vegas
who's makin book on this shit right here. Savvy?)
Submitted by Blitzen (user info) at 2005-07-14 18:36:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know who mrwolf is, but he is so going down... or I'll lose horribly to him. Either way we oughta have a lot of fun, right?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-07-14 18:28:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2005-07-14 18:04:27 (#)
Ranking: 0
jgreening, take Jack McCallum for inspiration.
I think the guy is great because he adds a bit of
ultra-conservatism to the borefest of ultra-liberalism
around here. So many hate him, but he's a damn good writer.
I mean, I deserved to win on "They Have Arrived," and
I wish his balls would get dipped in boiling oil for that,
but he's a damn good writer.
--
Thanks. ...I think.
C'mon dude. I KICKED ASS on They Have Arrived.
The LONGEST original story ever posted on Uber...
27 fricken pages featuring what were essentially
killer weeds from outer space taking over America?
It don't GET no better than that, son!
But j, remember, 2nd placeman Domenad, like me, was
ignored round after round and we kept kicking ass.
Just tell a good story. That's all.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-07-14 18:27:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Potatoes!
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-07-14 18:21:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2005-07-14 17:19:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
********
*******
******
*****
****
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**
*
The bracket is screwed up. A new bracket will be coming out soon. Sorry for the inconvenience.
*
**
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****
*****
******
*******
********
--------------------------------
Jesus Titty-fucking Christ, razor, why can't you just let it go at this point? It's kinda too late for all this shit don't you think? I mean, you nominated this guy to be head of the committee and now you're just going behind everything he does...
IS WQP the head, or you?
Let it fucking go.
At this point, I almost want to resign from this clown show. I think the way it's been run to this point should absolve anyone who wants out to be allowed in future competitions without any backlash.
Who give two shits about the bracket at this point honestly?
I'll tell you what... If it's that big a deal, let ME take on both BigMike and JMG and I'll cut both their heads off in the first round...how 'bout that? ;)
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-07-14 18:20:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Woah, false alarm on two counts... I dont have to compete first round, and the bracket is fucked.
whew
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-07-14 18:18:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GLALL!?!
I lose, first round.
Submitted by sg11588 (user info) at 2005-07-14 18:16:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
NOOOOOOOO SHITFUCK!!!
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2005-07-14 18:14:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What the fuck is UberMadness?
It sucks the brackets don't have cool names. Come on The Committee, I mean sewiously.
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2005-07-14 18:13:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate to say this, user whose name I've never heard, but being called gay by someone who is star struck by a computer nerd from Chicago is not very high up on my nightmare scenario list.
Also, I must say the "I know you are, but what am I?" argument is very interesting. I'll consider it.
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2005-07-14 18:11:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I see I'm not the first person to point this out, but the bracket is totally fucked.
Actually the first round seems to be okay, so there's no real urgency until next week.
But i