A Special Birthday Wish For Crystle On Her Birthday (5341 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: emu
Rating: 1.44 on 77 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Hadley Tobedone (View user info) at 2005-07-16 01:24:36 EDT
It's now July 16th. I have been drinking.
Oh God, I have to write a birthday post. Ok, how should I start this?
Dear Crystle,
You don't look a year older...
Shit, that sucks. She'll never talk to me and make my shitty workdays go faster if I say that. Let's try another one.
Hey Uber! Guess who's one year away from 30?!?
Oh yeah. That'll get my Cambrai stories edited. Think Hadley!
Just a quick note for your birthday, Crystle....I hope you have a wonderful day and that your life is better this year than last. You've done a lot for me with my writing and just being a great friend. I hope you enjoy this....cheesy Hallmark fucking rip-off.
Christ. If my writing sucks from here on, we'll sure as shit know why. This shouldn't be this hard. Everyone knows that I'm Hadley. I'm a motherfucking P.I.M.P. I know exactly how to make this girl's day.
Here's a little something I whipped up for you, Crystle. Happy Birthday.
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-08-18 14:00:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-07-17 20:51:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WOOOOOOT! EMU!
Submitted by lordofthedance (user info) at 2005-07-17 20:21:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh, this is shit!
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2005-07-16 19:45:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
EMU!!!!!
happy bday honey
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-07-16 18:28:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa You are crazy!!!
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-07-16 18:13:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
EMU!
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-07-16 16:30:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
happy birthday!
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-07-16 16:17:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nice
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-07-16 16:08:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Actually, for the "failure" line, you move up a notch, Virg.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-07-16 15:51:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-07-16 12:37:14 (#)
Ranking: -2
Ass kissing will STILL get you ZERO pussy.
-------------
I know this may be hard to believe, Pencildick, but not all of us are trying to get pussy from people on Uber.
I fail well enough off Uber.
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2005-07-16 15:28:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-07-16 12:37:14 (#)
Ranking: -2
Ass kissing will STILL get you ZERO pussy.
****************************
But if you start kissing just two inches away from the ass your at pussy.
Submitted by Clawsss (user info) at 2005-07-16 14:27:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
WTF is in that pan!?!?!
Does the bitch want to BE a cherry???
The +1 is for the pic, the post made me mad at myself.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-07-16 12:37:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Ass kissing will STILL get you ZERO pussy.
Submitted by Obi-wan (user info) at 2005-07-16 12:25:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
happy b day to who ever
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-07-16 11:30:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I any event, I'm off to die slowly.
Damn the fucker who got my mom to use a cellphone.
Wait, that was me.
<bang>
Submitted by Viciousriffs (user info) at 2005-07-16 11:28:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Maybe it stayed in your mouth, Jimi.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-07-16 11:24:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My whole body hurts, and my mouth tastes like vomit.
But I can't find where I might have puked.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-16 11:22:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I JUST NOW STARTED DRINKING
Submitted by Viciousriffs (user info) at 2005-07-16 11:21:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Stupider questions couldn't be asked...
But how are you doing this morning, Hadley?
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-07-16 11:13:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hahaha....ouch. Head hurts...
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-07-16 11:11:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Buncha crazy fucktards and their free gifts!
---------
hahaha "fucktards"
Submitted by Viciousriffs (user info) at 2005-07-16 10:57:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Buncha crazy fucktards and their free gifts!
Hey, Mr. Hare Krishna... I'll trade you this here ham sammich for a tambourine.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-07-16 05:38:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, thorpe, check this out...
http://www.ubersite.com/m/70728#uber_reviews
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-07-16 05:16:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm packing my stuff.
Ubercon Hadley's post wooo!
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2005-07-16 05:04:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy Birthday Crystle!!!
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-07-16 04:50:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Happy Birthday to her.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-07-16 04:35:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome....Happy Birthday C.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-16 04:29:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
please don't tell anyone about how I suck teh wangs
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-07-16 04:00:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awwwwwwwwww!!! Danger! Now you've made Rad go away
Who will show me the joys of frunk rating now?
not to mention how to suck down wangs
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-07-16 03:59:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HEAT!
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-16 03:48:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sorry.
bye.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-07-16 03:40:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
<gasp>
AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-07-16 03:29:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
homo's frighten me, so go away.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-16 03:11:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
EMUS FRIGHTEN ME
Submitted by Viciousriffs (user info) at 2005-07-16 03:08:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bedtime. It's going to happen.
Happy birthday, AwesomeWoman!
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-07-16 03:03:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll never understand why you want to fly 3000 miles just to watch the Brownies get their asses handed to them on a silver platter....
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-07-16 03:02:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-07-16 02:44:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
Your imagination can't do it justice, rad.
Especially when you factor in the dress involved. By. the. way. Have you seen Danger's Terry series? It's awesome stuff. I can't believe he can be so handsome AND such a brilliant writer. I want to be just like him. AND I am going to take him to a Browns' game. He is teh RoXor.
-------------------------------------
oh stop it hadley, you're making me blush....
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-07-16 03:01:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Almost uniformly, 4 minutes between Danger and baking lady. Someone is a little alter happy. Aren't you, Arnie?
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-07-16 03:00:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats Crystle!
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-07-16 02:58:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by baking_Lady (user info) at 2005-07-16 02:54:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
Crystle is having my baby
---------------------
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
oh, noes, not you Crystle, teh baking_Mole...
Submitted by Viciousriffs (user info) at 2005-07-16 02:57:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I made it to this post before I hit this post! Wow!
Submitted by baking_Lady (user info) at 2005-07-16 02:54:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Crystle is having my baby
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-07-16 02:51:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Viciousriffs (user info) at 2005-07-15 18:04:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
Danger, you're whacked.
Off. By 14 year old Vietnamese prostitutes. Sick bastard...
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-07-16 02:50:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
She doesn't know, the test-tube's in the mail...
shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-07-16 02:50:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Grrrrrr
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-07-16 02:49:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Crystle is having my baby.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-07-16 02:46:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That is impressive Crystal
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-07-16 02:44:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Your imagination can't do it justice, rad.
Especially when you factor in the dress involved.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-07-16 02:43:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahahahhaha
poor Rad..
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-16 02:42:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wonderful.
I am now a frunkin mess at work.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-16 02:42:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
<EJACULATES>
<AGAIN>
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-07-16 02:36:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Under 15 seconds, while walking and talking....
<ejaculates>
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-07-16 02:34:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you have to see it to believe it Rad
or so I'm told
Hadley has seen it though..ask him
hehehehehhehe
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-16 02:31:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
<ejaculates>
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-07-16 02:23:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
heheheheheh..
true..
I could tie all those stems in about 5 min...
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-07-16 02:23:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
waht sorta cake is that anyhows?
It's got lotsa cherries...
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-07-16 02:19:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wopooot!
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-16 02:16:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
absolut frunk
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-07-16 02:14:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's like old times here....All of us, camping together.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-07-16 02:11:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-16 01:37:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
OMG TEH TITTLES IS BRILLIANT
GO TITTIES WOOO
------------------
These are a two of my favourite things..
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-07-16 02:06:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's your birthday and your post. It's all good, darlin.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-07-16 02:05:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours
Hadley, don't kill me if I forget to rate, ok?
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-07-16 02:03:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're welcome! I know what you mean; I could sit and stare at that Adonis Calling one for hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-07-16 02:01:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
drink in moed... moor... modea... msh.... sshhhhhhhh.... moserder.... mosheration pee...pee... peooople. oh dod, god wheeerts taht toilellt..
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-07-16 02:01:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... I'm just gonna be here droooling for a while
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-07-16 02:00:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OMG FOrensic! How did you know I have a Brenden Fraser fetish..
that was SOOO HAWT.. Thanks
WOWWOOWOWOooOT.. now i"m drunk and horny!
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-07-16 01:59:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, i guess it was a brithday post. WOO!
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-07-16 01:59:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy fucking brithday Crystle. Good joy and shit to everyone. Oh man. I don't even know weaht i'm replyinhg to right now. kickass.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-07-16 01:52:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.poster.net/bahner-bertram/bahner-bertram-adonis-4800314.jpg
http://e-celeb.by.ru/016/028.jpg
http://abrynne.homestead.com/files/FavCelebpics/brendan4.jpg
http://pressfiles.net/absolut/hunk/absolut_hunk_high_res.jpg
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRLIE!
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-07-16 01:47:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
We shall all get frunk.
So let it be written, so let it be done.
It HasToBeDone.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-07-16 01:42:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Get Frunk with me Rad!
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-16 01:37:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah 'appy burthday tuh crystle ahh guess.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-16 01:37:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OMG TEH TITTLES IS BRILLIANT
GO TITTIES WOOO
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-07-16 01:35:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BIRTHDAY, BIRTHDAY, WOOOOOOO!
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-07-16 01:29:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
As pointed out to me by a certain transplanted Brit...
"A Special Birthday Wish For Crystle On Her Birthday"
I'm such an idiot. No more drunk posts.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-07-16 01:28:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
thank you so much hadley...
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-07-16 01:27:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
MOTHERFUCKER YOU ARE FUCKING HILARIOUS!!!!
beat me to it you prick.