Kathy's plunge (otnemom style) (446 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1 on 5 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by RandytheHelpfulPineapple <sopher901.at.excite.com> (View user info) at 2005-07-16 02:15:08 EDT
"I'm so sorry things didn't work out Stanley", Kathy said with sorrow, embracing Stan by the moonlit lake, "I just don't know what else to say."
"Please, can you just give me a chance?!?!" Stanley sniffled, tears in his eyes.
"I'm sorry Stanley, It—It just can't be", Kathy gushed, bursting into tears, clutching Stanley's still body with her left arm, "I'm going to have to say good bye, forever."
"No, please! Just one more chance", Stanley begged.
"Good bye Stanley", Kathy said teary-eyed, staring into Stanley's bright blue eyes.
Kathy separated their warm bodies, and stood at arms length. The quiet breeze and the swaying of the trees was all that could be heard in the forest preserve. Kathy let loose one last sigh, and then shot Stan in the face.
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"Where are we going?" asked Stan.
"Out to the forest preserve", Kathy replied, "I have to tell you something important out there."
"Why can't you just tell me now?" Stan asked.
"I just can't, OK? We've already discussed this!" Kathy snapped. Kathy calmed herself; this was to be a clean break, a time to start over. She settled her tone, and said softly, "You'll just need to be patient, I'm sorry."
Stanley sat in the pickup truck, eyes forward, with a million anxiety coated thoughts spinning in his head.
"Here's the place sweetheart", Kathy said as she turned off of the dark highway into a gravel parking lot, "I'm sorry I yelled at you, I've just been tense lately."
Stanley almost said something he'd regret, but bit his tongue. Kathy pointed to where she wanted Stanley to go, and then followed behind him, her right hand in her pocket.
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"I don't know if I can go through with this Stanley", Kathy said, crying, trying to hold on to her last ounce of emotional strength, "I just don't know."
"Don't worry about your husband, just do what you think is right. That's all that matters right?" Stanley said, trying to reassure the emotionally tattered woman, and gain her trust.
"That's real easy to say Stanley", Kathy retorted, "I gave him a promise; a promise from the day I married him to be faithful to him and his wishes. Mark deserves better than this."
"He's not here to control you Kathy. You can make your own decisions", Stanley reassured her.
"No, I can't Stanley -Mark deserves better", Kathy said, "You'd better get into the truck; I have to tell you something."
"Can't you just tell me here?" Stanley asked, nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
"No, I'll tell you when we get there. Just please get into the truck" Kathy replied, in a nasally tone due to her tears..
Stanley reluctantly got into the truck, drained of all hope.
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"Stand still mother fucker!" Kathy screamed as she pointed the Glock at Stanley's heart, "Now you'll do exactly as I saw, or I'll blow you away. Understood?"
Stanley paused, speechless, dropping the contents of his hand in the shrub.
"Understood cocksucker?!?!??!" Kathy barked.
"Ye-Yes", Stan stuttered, raising his arms.
"Keep those arms to your side, dumb ass!" Kathy hissed, "Turn around."
"Wh-what's this all about? Is it money? I can get you whatever you want, just don't hurt me!" Stanley pleaded, as he was lead by gun point to the garage.
"No, no money. My husband told me to get rid of you, and that's just what I'm going to do", Kathy growled.
"Please, have mercy on me! I have a wife and three kids! Please don't kill me! Please don't kill me!" Stanley cried.
"Shut the fuck up and sit down", Kathy said in a sharp whisper, starting to crumble, "Just let me figure this all out, I just need to think."
Kathy stood, arms folded, looking from place to place in deep, anxious thought. She started to break down as she thought about what she had to do. Stan sat on the cement floor of the garage, his pulse racing, and his sweet pouring from his body. Kathy began crying as she pinched her index finger and thumb gently over her tear ducts.
"I don't know if I can go through with this Stanley", Kathy said, crying, trying to hold on to her last ounce of emotional strength, "I just don't know."
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"Honey, could you go take care of that salesman? I'm kind of busy", Mark asked, his face half lathered with Gillette shaving gel.
"Sure thing hon', I'll get rid of him", Kathy replied calmly as she reached for the 9mm under the bed.
And that's why you don't see any door to door salesmen anymore; because of crazy literal bitches.
User Reviews
Submitted by RandytheHelpfulPineapple (user info) at 2005-07-16 22:51:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have a question for you guys. Was the transition from scene to scene understandable? I mean did it make sense that the next scene was actually the scene proceeding the current scene?
Another thing; was it too obvious by the vague detail that Stan and Kathy weren't lovers, or did your perceptions change from scene to scene like I meant them to?
I'm just curious if I was using these techniques with effect, or if I'm just putting out something cookie cutter that's easy to figure out.
Submitted by notyou (user info) at 2005-07-16 18:16:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 sounds good.
Submitted by RandytheHelpfulPineapple (user info) at 2005-07-16 11:53:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well I thank you two for reading it all the way through.
I was worried when I wrote it that no one would get to the punch line.
Submitted by Sprinkles (user info) at 2005-07-16 02:49:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Different... I kinda liked it, in a twisted sort of way
Submitted by jinhenkim (user info) at 2005-07-16 02:46:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
the endless dialogue style makes it hard to read.