The Ubersite Picture Show: Act III (745 hits)
Category: HumorLabels: Ubersite_Picture_Show ubermusical
Rating: 1.76 on 27 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by CaptainThorns (View user info) at 2005-07-18 08:17:38 EDT
Act I: http://www.ubersite.com/m/70687
Act II: http://www.ubersite.com/m/70762
--------------------------------------------
~ACT III~
MUNKEYPANTS: Oh! Rad!
RAD: It's all right Munkeypants. We'll play along for now and pull out the
aces when the time is right.
CIRCE: Oh, slowly, slowly! It's too nice a job to rush.
RAD: Hi, my name is Rad Flavors, and this is my fiancee, Munkeypants;
ah.. you are...?
CIRCE: You're very lucky to be invited up to Fat Tony's laboratory. Some
people would blow their right nut for the privilege.
RAD: People like you maybe.
CIRCE: Ha! I've seen it.
BART BART: Come along - the master doesn't like to be kept waiting.
PENTAMETER: Shift it!
MUNKEYPANTS: Is he, um, Fat Tony I mean - is he your husband?
BART BART: The master is not yet married, nor do I think he ever will be. We
are simply his linkwhores.
MUNKEYPANTS: Oh.
FAT TONY: Pentameter, Circe - go assist Bart Bart. I will entertain ...uh
huh huh...
RAD: Rad Flavors. This is my fiancee, Munkeypiss.
MUNKEYPANTS: Pants.
RAD: Pants? Um.
FAT TONY: What the hell man, if they're comin' at ya... <trails off while drooling>
FAT TONY: Well! How nice. And what charming underclothes you both have.
But here. Put these on. They'll make you feel less... vulnerable.
It's not often we receive n00bs here, let alone offer them...
horse brutality.
RAD: Horse brutality?! I swear, I never posted that!! All we wanted to do was to use your modem,
damn it, a reasonable request which you've chosen to ignore!
MUNKEYPANTS: Rad, don't minus two him.
RAD: Minus two him!?!
FAT TONY: How forceful you are, Rad. Such a perfect candidate for the MVA user list.
So... dominant. You must be awfully proud of him, Munkeypants.
MUNKEYPANTS: Well, yes I am.
FAT TONY: Do you have any camwhore pictures, Rad?
RAD: Certainly not!
FAT TONY: Oh well,.. how about you?
MUNKEYPANTS: <looks away and blushes> I'm not telling!
BART BART: Everything is in readiness, master. We merely await your...post.
FAT TONY: Tonight, my unconventional conventionists... you are about to
witness a new breakthrough in Ubersite postings... and perfect ranking
is to be mine! It was strange the way it happened... suddenly you
get a break... story lines seem to fall into place, not a sign
of suckiness.. what a fool! The answer was there all the time, it took
a small accident to make it happen... AN ACCIDENT...
PENTAMETER & CIRCE: An accident!
FAT TONY: ..and that's how I discovered the secret, that elusive ingredient,
that SPARK that is the source of +2's... Yes, I have that
knowledge... I hold the secret... to rank... itself!
You see, you are fortunate for tonight is the night that my
beautiful alter is destined to be BORN! Up now! ...click on
the users on the Most Heated list... and write for Shit Post Thursday
THREE MORE POSTS!
MUNKEYPANTS: Oh, Rad!
RAD: It's all right, Munkeypants!
FAT TONY: Oh! Polyamorous_AJ!
THE SWORD OF SORRELL
POLYAMOROUS_AJ: The sword of Sorrell is hanging over my head,
And I've got the feeling Tom is gonna be cutting the thread.
FAT TONY: You IDIOT!!
POLYAMOROUS_AJ: Oh, woe is me, BuckeyesTHEGAME is a mystery.
Oh, can't you see, that I'm just a guy Tony wants to go down on.
I woke up this morning with a start when I fell out of bed.
ALL: That ain't no crime.
POLYAMOROUS_AJ: Created as an alter just to post with unnameable dread.
ALL: That ain't no crime.
POLYAMOROUS_AJ: My high is low, I'm ranked out with no place to go.
And all I know is I'm just a guy Tony wants to go down on.
FAT TONY: Oh, Polyamorous_AJ!
ALL: Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime.
POLYAMOROUS_AJ: Oh ho no no
ALL: Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime.
POLYAMOROUS_AJ: Oh ho no no
ALL: Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime.
POLYAMOROUS_AJ: Oh ho no no
POLYAMOROUS_AJ: The sword of Sorrell is hanging over my head.
FAT TONY: Well, really!
ALL: That ain't no crime.
POLYAMOROUS_AJ: And I've got the feeling Tom is going to be cutting the thread.
ALL: Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime.
POLYAMOROUS_AJ: Oh, woe is me, BuckeyesTHEGAME is a mystery
And, can't you see, that just a guy Tony wants to go down on.
ALL: Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime.
POLYAMOROUS_AJ: Oh no no no.
ALL: Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime.
POLYAMOROUS_AJ: Oh no no no.
ALL: Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime, Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime,
Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime, Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime,
sha-la-la.
FAT TONY: Well really. That's no way to behave on your first day on Uber.
POLYAMOROUS_AJ: Ugh Ugh
FAT TONY: But since you're such an exceptional alter, I am prepared to
rank you myself.
POLYAMOROUS_AJ: Ugh Ugh
FAT TONY: Oh, I just love success.
BART BART: He's a credit to your genius, master.
FAT TONY: Yes.
PENTAMETER: A triumph of your will.
FAT TONY: Yes.
CIRCE: He's a shitty alter.
FAT TONY: Shitty alter? SHITTY ALTER?!? I think we can do better than that. Humph! Well,
Rad and Munkeypants, what do you think of him?
MUNKEYPANTS: Well, I don't like men with too many positive rankings.
FAT TONY: I didn't make him FOR YOU! He carries the Michael Jackson seal of
approval.
I CAN RANK YOU AGAIN (part I)
FAT TONY: An alter posting ninety-eight times
Will receive -2's
When exposed of his crimes;
I go to the gym to work off my six chins,
The sweat from my pores make me work for a cause
This alter glistens...and gleams.
And with coffee, and just a little bit of cream,
He'll post some links that are quite clean
He'll be a strong man. Oh honey...
FAT TONY & UBERITES: But the wrong man.
FAT TONY: He'll rank the n00bies. Post shit posts. And swallow raw eggs...
Try to knock up Merlina, do her chest, arms, and... legs.
Such an effort if he only knew of my plan.
In just seven days...
FAT TONY & UBERITES: I can rank you again.
FAT TONY: He'll post pictures, and linkwhore, grab his crotch, be a jerk.
He thinks making Most Heated must be hard work.
Such strenuous living I just don't understand,
When in just seven days, oh baby, ...I can rank you again.
<motorcyclist breaks through laboratory wall>
CIRCE: Habeeb!
HAR HAR PEENER (BLESS MY SOUL)
HABEEB: Whatever happened to Saturday night,
When you posted drunk and you felt alright?
It don't seem the same since Bart Bart here
Banned me from Uber, I thought I was divine.
With MS Paint I'd let the drawings flow
And draw engorged peeners colored yellow;
They always were engorged for Loki, don'cha know.
Until Bart Bart banned me, I really had a good time.
Har har peener, bless my soul, my fusion puts on such a show.
Har har peener, bless my soul, my fusion puts on such a show.
Har har peener, bless my soul, my fusion puts on such a show.
Har har peener, bless my soul, my fusion puts on such a show.
My head used to swim from the pot that I smelled.
My hands kind of fumbled with the paintbrush tool set.
I'd draw some engorged peener men and that's when I'd melt
And then I'd put some wieners on some photos of mine.
Post's on the front page, yes, it's finally on
Singing FUSION FUSION FUSION till the rankings are done.
Time to alter a camwhore and give it a dong.
Yeah, it felt pretty good. Woo! I really had a good time.
Har har peener, bless my soul, my fusion put on such a show.
Har har peener, bless my soul, my fusion put on such a show.
Har har peener, bless my soul, my fusion put on such a show.
Har har peener, bless my soul, my fusion put on such a show.
<ends song screaming as Fat Tony slaughters him with -2s>
FAT TONY: Damnit. Had to ban him for good. Oh AJ!.. Don't be upset... It was a mercy
banning...he had a certain naive charm, but no muscle... Oh!
I CAN RANK YOU AGAIN (part II)
FAT TONY: But a camwhore with a bicep.
A hot groin and a tricep.
Makes me, oooh, shake,
Makes me want to take you and Kracka by the...ha-ha-hand.
FAT TONY & UBERITES: In just seven days I can rank you again.
FAT TONY: I don't want no dissention, just posts of your invention.
MUNKEYPANTS: I'm an AJ fan.
FAT TONY: In just seven days, I can rank you again
Dig it if you can
In just seven days, I can rank you again.
UBERITES: Fat Tony and Polyamorous_AJ, rah-rah-rah! Fat Tony and Polyamorous_AJ, rah-rah-rah!
Fat Tony and Polyamorous_AJ, rah-rah-rah! Fat Tony and Polyamorous_AJ, rah-rah-rah!
SWAMP DONKEY: There are those who say that Uber is an illusion, and that reality
is but a figment of the imagination. If this is so, then Rad and
Munkeypants are quite safe, ... however, the sudden departure of their
host...and his creation...into the seclusion of his sombre
bondage room had left them feeling both apprehensive and uneasy, a
feeling which grew as the other users departed, and they were
shown to their separate rooms.
MUNKEYPANTS: Who is it? Who's there?
FAT TONY (RAD): It's only me, Munkeypants.
MUNKEYPANTS: Oh, Rad darling, come in. Oh! Rad Oh... Yes, my darling...but
what if...
FAT TONY (RAD): It's all right, Munkeypants, everything's going to be alright.
MUNKEYPANTS: Oh, I hope so, my darling. <pulls off Fat Tony's wig> Oh...Ah...ahh OHHH! Oh it's you!
FAT TONY: I'm afraid so, Munkeypants, but isn't it nice...
MUNKEYPANTS: Oh, you beast, you monster...Oh what have you done with Rad?
FAT TONY: Oh, well, nothing. Why, do you think I should?
MUNKEYPANTS: You tricked me...I wouldn't have...I've never..never...
FAT TONY: Yes, yes I know, but it isn't all bad, is it? I think you really
found it quite pleasurable.
MUNKEYPANTS: Oh, stop...I mean help...Rad Rad!..Oh Rad!!
FAT TONY: Shhh. Rad's probably asleep by now. Do you want him to see you
like...This! <lifts her legs in the air>
MUNKEYPANTS: Like this..like how??! Oh, it's your fault...you're to blame... I
was saving myself...
FAT TONY: I don't care whether you're spent yet! Women are born to suck dick, that's what I always say.
MUNKEYPANTS: Promise you won't tell Rad?
FAT TONY: Cross my heart and hope to die...
<fade out on Munkeypants and Fat Tony laughing with pleasure>
FAT TONY (MUNKEYPANTS): Oh, Rad darling, it's no good here. It'll destroy us.
RAD: Don't worry Munkeypants, we'll be away from here in the morning.
FAT TONY (MUNKEYPANTS): Oh, Rad you're so strong and protective. <pulls off Fat Tony's wig>
RAD: YOU!
FAT TONY: I'm afraid so, Rad, but isn't it nice...
RAD: Why YOU! What have you done with Munkeypants?
FAT TONY: Nothing. Why? Do you think I should?
RAD: You tricked me, I wouldn't have...I've never never...never...
FAT TONY: Oh Yes yes, I know...but it isn't all bad, is it? Not even half
bad, I think you really quite enjoyed it.
FAT TONY: Oh... so soft... <kissing Rad>
RAD: Stop it...stop it...oh Munkey...MUNKEY!
FAT TONY: Shhh! Munkey's probably asleep by now, do you want her to see you...
like this! <lifts his legs in the air>
RAD: Like this, like how? It's your fault, you're to blame, I thought it
was the real thing!
FAT TONY: Oh come on, Rad, admit it, you liked it, didn't you? There's no
crime in giving yourself over to pleasure, Rad. I should know, I had to take, um...
extreme measures in prison. Oh Rad, you've wasted so much time already...Munkeypants
needn't know, I won't tell.
RAD: Well, promise you won't tell...
FAT TONY: On my mother's graoouuuuuu.... <goes down on Rad>
BART BART: Master, Polyamorous_AJ has broken his chains and vanished. The new playmate
is loose and plastering shitposts all over Ubersite. Pentameter has just released...
the dogs.
FAT TONY: Mmmmm? Coming!
User Reviews
Submitted by TragicKingdom (user info) at 2005-07-19 19:05:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Har Har Peener Bless My soul! LMAO nice.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2005-07-19 09:07:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-19 08:31:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OMG ATTN: BISECKUAL FATMENZ
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-07-18 23:00:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-07-18 19:16:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuckin hell, man. This is impressive in the amount of time it took, and the fact that the songs still mostly kinda work. But, and you could not be expected to know this, Circe loathes Habeeb. Damnit, KEEP WITH THE WAY THINGS ACTUALLY ARE AROUND HERE WHY DON'T YOU?!!!??!?!?!??!?!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sorry, I *didn't* know!
But honestly, who around here DOESN'T loathe Habeeb? Can I see a show of hands?
No hands raised?
That's what I thought. Thank you.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-07-18 19:16:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-07-18 08:47:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha, everytime I read, "Rad" I screamed "ASSHOLE!" at my computer. Stupid interactive plays.
Fuckin hell, man. This is impressive in the amount of time it took, and the fact that the songs still mostly kinda work. But, and you could not be expected to know this, Circe loathes Habeeb. Damnit, KEEP WITH THE WAY THINGS ACTUALLY ARE AROUND HERE WHY DON'T YOU?!!!??!?!?!??!?!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-07-18 17:25:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Har har peener, bless my soul, my fusion puts on such a show.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-07-18 14:29:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-07-18 13:54:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AHAHAHAHA!! I just love this series!
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-07-18 13:53:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're too funny.
Submitted by Deidra (user info) at 2005-07-18 12:37:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is killing me and making my co-workers look at me strangely.
Submitted by indigogecko (user info) at 2005-07-18 10:55:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Not as good as the first two, but then it's a slow bit of the film.
Har Har Peener Bless My Soul was funny though.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-07-18 10:52:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-07-18 10:45:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
Axisofjesus is not a n00b, he's an alter.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Why am I not surprised? *sigh*
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-07-18 10:45:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Axisofjesus is not a n00b, he's an alter.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-07-18 10:25:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good, but needs more sass
Submitted by dinkydaisy (user info) at 2005-07-18 09:52:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
dude, this SO kicks ass. Cant wait for next installment
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-07-18 09:15:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't feel bad. If he hadn't, I would have.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-07-18 09:08:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
MUST....HAVE...MORE....MORE MORE MORE!
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-07-18 09:02:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Woooooooooooo!
This is kick ass!
Submitted by iradney (user info) at 2005-07-18 09:01:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sign my breasts?
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-07-18 08:54:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
gold gold gold gold gold gold gold
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-07-18 08:47:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by axisofjesus (user info) at 2005-07-18 08:21:30 (#)
Ranking: 0
Cocksucking and namedropping. Only reason why this isn't a -2 is because you probably spent a lot of time doing this.
====================================================================
I wondered who would be the first to break the perfect +2 streak on this...why am I not surprised that it's a n00b?
Everything you ever wanted to know about axisofjesus
User id: 20602
Registered on or around: 2005-07-17 06:48:18
# Messages posted: 1
# Reviews written: 22
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 11
# Hits: 249
Average rating of all messages: 1.90
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-07-18 08:47:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha, everytime I read, "Rad" I screamed "ASSHOLE!" at my computer. Stupid interactive plays.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-07-18 08:36:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SWORD OF SORRELL!! WOOO!!!!
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-07-18 08:36:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
WTH man I'm not readin all that!
I mean...
Why am I not in it?
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-07-18 08:28:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Still funny.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-07-18 08:26:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Habeeb getting slaughtered was the only good part.
Submitted by axisofjesus (user info) at 2005-07-18 08:21:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Cocksucking and namedropping. Only reason why this isn't a -2 is because you probably spent a lot of time doing this.