Ubersite
Home - About Us - Contact
"Work is the scourge of the drinking classes." - Oscar Wilde
Welcome to Ubersite!
Search Ubersite
Search for:

Most Recently Reviewed
  1. Coconut Run Challenge
  2. Byro-monster
  3. Remember me?! It's EI and ...
  4. WARNlNG: OATHY, THlS COULD...
  5. Thomas
  6. 21 days
  7. 15 Step
  8. Coast Guard Recovers 5 Ton...
  9. The Trampled Flower
  10. 100 Things I like
more...
Most Heated
  1. Holes. (136 heat)
  2. Uber Haiku Time!! (108 heat)
  3. You assholes should be ash... (89 heat)
  4. Dear Uberers of NYC and Gr... (88 heat)
  5. I'm jumping on the switch-... (65 heat)
  6. Oathmeal sticks a sweet bi... (50 heat)
  7. SPT: The Mathematics of Uber (49 heat)
  8. Uber A-Lister Top 5 List! ... (45 heat)
  9. The Shatner/Lee Incident (... (44 heat)
  10. Something REALLY Stinks In... (41 heat)
more...
Most Viewed Messages
  1. The Ultimate MS Paint: It... (1149863 hits)
  2. "If I cum now, will it be ... (708088 hits)
  3. Exploiting Peer-to-Peer Ne... (387922 hits)
  4. How To Pick Up Chicks (328811 hits)
  5. Motivating the Weekend (310450 hits)
  6. Knockoff porn movie titles (303941 hits)
  7. My J-Date Misadventure (288417 hits)
  8. Licking A Bum's Ass (252479 hits)
  9. Badass Australian Cows (248498 hits)
  10. Totally Useless Facts (233664 hits)
more...
Most Viewed Authors
  1. Bart Cilfone (1472422 hits)
  2. Stanley Moore (1451454 hits)
  3. Razor (1413953 hits)
  4. JMG114 (1392942 hits)
  5. MickGinny (1297398 hits)
  6. loki (1070484 hits)
  7. Jonukah (986904 hits)
  8. weeeeep (933895 hits)
  9. Most Hated (931800 hits)
  10. Cat Crooner Extraordinaire (895278 hits)
  11. Ubersite needs me! (888832 hits)
  12. Abortions Tickle (886503 hits)
  13. Tom (839171 hits)
  14. Sideburns, MUHFUCKA (817289 hits)
  15. apollo88 (776147 hits)
  16. T+I+G+E+R (764923 hits)
  17. oy vey (763651 hits)
  18. Sorrell (752022 hits)
  19. Satan is my Motor (696396 hits)
  20. Alter 5694™ (695570 hits)
  21. RON PAUL 2008! (692574 hits)
  22. HIDDEN101 (691385 hits)
  23. User Blocked (650721 hits)
  24. Phil Phone (648310 hits)
  25. TTOM88 (638047 hits)
  26. iddqd (627373 hits)
  27. kaos-king (612311 hits)
  28. comicbookguy (606066 hits)
  29. ♥ (589234 hits)
  30. O (584641 hits)
Click here to return to the list of messages.

Sins of Our Fathers (199 hits)

Category: UberMadness! Entry

Rating: 2 on 1 review (Rate this item) (V)
Labels:

Submitted by Lutes <absolutes18.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-07-18 09:08:04 EDT


This post was an official UberMadness! entry. Click here to view the original matchup.


It was the sound of frightened, childish tears that awoke Martha Kringle in the still of the cold, wintry night. She sat up in alarm, immediately noticing her husband's absence from their bed. This was not unusual, and she had long grown resigned to his disappearances, but tonight she could not ignore her instincts. She had to follow the noise.

The cries grew louder as she padded soundlessly through the hallway, already suspecting her final destination and praying she was wrong. It was, however, just as she had feared; the light to Kris's private workshop shone dimly through the crack of the opened door. A million excuses flitted through Martha's mind as they always did to excuse her husband's actions, but this time she pushed them aside and peered into the room.

Kris was not alone. A small elfin girl stood terrified, trapped between his large body and the wall as he clumsily fondled her exposed breast. Each time she struggled to pull away from his touch, he would press her harder against the wall, causing the elf to whimper in agony. Another boy elf stood in the corner shaking, forced to watch in desperate helplessness.

She knew he would punish her if she did not go back to bed, but she could not stand aside any longer after witnessing such unmistakable proof. Martha swallowed hard to collect all her available courage, and stepped into the doorway. "Let her go."

Startled, her husband looked up from his desired prey and glared at her interruption. "Oh, it's you. Go mind your own business, will you? I'm busy."

She forced herself to calmly meet his dark, bloodshot eyes. "I said to leave her alone."

"Don't tell me what to do, Martha." A warning.

His ominous tone made her falter, and he laughed at her obvious cowardice. Martha lowered her gaze to the wooden floor, her earlier rush of bravado fading. The young elf, however, had sensed Kris' distraction; she pulled free of his grasp and, after risking a tremendous look of gratitude in Martha's direction, fled the room as quickly as her stature allowed.

Furious at losing his temporary entertainment, Kris seized Martha's wrist and wrenched her face into his whiskey-stained breath. "Are you deaf? I told you to go away and now look what you've done! Who do you think you are?"

"I'm your wife, Kris," she murmured. "The woman you're supposed to love and honour and be faithful to forever, remember?"

"Ha! I never loved you and nobody ever could. Just look at you, blew up like a Thanksgiving turkey since we got married. If I wanted to be with a fat slob, I coulda took up with Rudolph. Can you blame me for wanting a decent looking female for every once and awhile, one that doesn't nag and knows her place?"

Martha felt her own ire rise. "Why do you always say such cruel things to me?"

"You wanna know why? Because I'm Father-fucking-Christmas, that's why! I'm bigger than Jesus! I can say or do whatever I want around here because you and the whiny elves and the shitty reindeer are all my property.

In fact," he continued, face flushed, "I am every kid's hero and every parent's saviour and I got powers beyond your imagination. I am the law, sweetheart, and you better start listening to it if you know what's good for you."

"If anyone knew what you were really like, you'd be nothing!"

The blow came hard, despite his sluggish movements. Even years of preparation could still not prevent Martha from crying out in pain, nor stop the shame that instantly followed. Mutely, she blinked away her tears, desperate not to cry in front of him.

"That's what I thought, bitch. Never talk back to me again."

Martha said nothing.

Kris sneered at her submission. "I'm going to bed, so I'll leave you in here tonight to think about how to become a better wife. Tomorrow is a busy day, you better be in the factories on time."

Warily, she watched him leave. As soon as Kris lumbered out of the room, the long forgotten boy elf rushed to her side in concern. "Mrs. Kringle, are you all right? Do you need any injuries mended?"

Martha accepted his arm and allowed the small creature to guide her to a chair. "No, no, I'm fine," she assured him. "It's just a little bruise, nothing to worry about."

The elf frowned, his features pinched. "We elves are not supposed to speak ill of our Master, but if you'll beg my pardon, he is a bad man. He has not treated you kindly since day one and his scandalous mistresses have not been a secret from anyone. To my understanding, marriage is supposed to be about respect and equality, but he shows you neither."

She had no response at first, for he spoke the harsh truth. "It is complicated, lad. But I can't deny that there is no love between us anymore."

He bowed, still looking troubled. "Forgive me for being so nosy, Mrs. Kringle, but why is it then, that you choose to stay with him?"

She smiled sadly; this answer was instant and simple.

"I do it for the kids. All over the world."


fathershlongy.jpg (19 kB)

Submit to Digg Submit to StumbleUpon

User Reviews


Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2005-10-30 05:36:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment


That's weird. It's like something out of that twilighty show about
that zone.

-- Homer Simpson
Treehouse of Horror VI