Eruption (977 hits)
Category: UberMadness!Rating: 0.4 on 80 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by UberMadness! (View user info) at 2005-07-19 08:40:04 EDT
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This post is officially part of UberMadness!. Click here for more information on the rules and restrictions. |
Entry 1
"No matter what happens son, you know I'll always love you."Timothy thought back to when he was just a little boy, his father always so loving and his life so happy. He didn't know what had changed. Was it his fault? Why had daddy become so angry? Why was he always hitting mummy?
About six months ago Justin had lost his job as a builder to cheaper foreign labour. Without a ugood education he had nowhere else to go and nothing else to do. He had quickly turned to alcohol as his saviour from his troubles. Liquor helped forget.
Now Mummy lay on the floor dazed as Daddy hit her again and again. Timmy screamed and screamed. He knew he was a big boy. He knew he wasn't supposed to cry. 8 year olds are supposed to be strong. Mummy hardly moved as Daddy smacked her again and again with the back of his hand. With every hit she lay there with only a soft whimper escaping her lips. A silent tear running down her cheek.
Timmy didn't know why Daddy hit Mummy, but he always knew that when Daddy came home late with that strange smell on his breath he would become angry. Timmy called Daddy's angry nights "eruptions" because he thought Daddy acted like an angry, loud volcano. Whenever Timmy asked Mummy about Daddy's eruptions Mummy would smile and change the subject. Timmy knew these weren't real smiles. He didn't understand why Mummy didn't tell him why Daddy hit her. He was too scared to ask Daddy.
Now Mummy lay on the floor, blood pouring from her nose slowly and trickling from her cheek onto the carpet. There was a bloodstain from every time Daddy had one of his eruptions. Timmy remembered when the carpet was clean. Mummy lay dazed, looking at Timmy as they both cried together. "Stop! Stop hitting Mummy!" whimpered Timmy quietly, though he tried to scream it. He never could speak when Daddy was hitting Mummy like this. He felt like he couldn't breathe.
"Shut the fuck up you ignorant little fuck!" yelled Daddy. His Daddy's words scared Timmy. His legs became weak and he fell to the ground in the corner of the room.
Daddy began kicking Mummy. Mummy just lay there. She had no power to defend herself. She looked at Timmy, never once looking away. Blood began to dribble out her mouth and suddenly her eyes froze. She was no longer looking at Timmy, she was looking at nothing. Her body went limp. Timmy didn't understand what was happening. Daddy stopped kicking.
"What have I done..." wept Daddy. Timmy held his stomach in pain from crying. He didn't know what had happened. Suddenly fear grew inside him as Daddy looked right at him. "This is your fault." said Daddy quietly, raising a finger at Timmy, "This is your fault!" he screamed. Daddy began walking over to Timmy. Timmy could no longer cry. He could no longer scream. The only thing he could do was remember back to when times were better.
"No matter what happens son, you know I'll always love you." echoed through his head as Daddy approached him. He looked up and saw his Daddy's eyes.
Daddy rose his hand...
- VS -
Entry 2
"Christ, I wish I could remember what happened." I'm whispering to myself as I walk, my voice so soft that most of the syllables only exist in implication.Every step down the street I take brings me inexorably closer to having to deal with the consequences of actions that I can't recall. I find this reality terrifying. Even so, I have to keep going - the purgatory of not the unknown is far worse any conceivable outcome. I hope. For the hundredth time I try desperately to dredge up some memory of the meeting and for the hundredth time my efforts are rewarded with a void that seemingly grows with each attempt.
Deep-down, I already know what happened yesterday, I just hope I'm wrong.
As I continue my trudge to the inevitable showdown, I replay all of the events leading up to the blank-out in my head, hoping that I may be able to somehow unravel my twisted memory.
---
"Now Hang on a minute..." I'm trying to be assertive but failing miserably. I always do.
Colin cut's me off with an almost disdainful flip of his hand "Shut up for a second, I don't want to hear excuses from you Simon, I want to hear promises - Can you sort this issue out or not?" He stabs the sheaf of papers on the table with his index finger and his eyes burn into mine, completely dominating me.
"Colin..." I begin, sounding a little firmer but still fairly pathetic compared to this confrontational titan.
Again that irritable wave - "Don't give ME fucking 'Colin', this is YOUR fuck up, YOU sort it out"
It's not my fuck-up at all and Colin knows it - He'd accidentally given me the wrong set of figures to work from, and so the end of year accounts I'd prepared for him were as accurate as a Friday night drunkard pissing into a toilet pan.
"I'll do my best" I say meekly.
Colin pulls an oddly familiar gold pen from his suit pocket and starts to absently twirl it around his fingers while he thinks about my response. "You fucking better" He says finally.
Just a normal day.
---
"It must've happened again" I say to myself, mid stride, "First time in twelve years."
'Spontaneous Rage Evacuation' is what my old doctor had called it. At least I think she did, at the time I wasn't really concerned with any explanations on what was wrong with me or why, I just wanted her to put it right.
"It doesn't work like that Simon," She'd said, "It's not like fixing a flat tyre you know - what we're dealing with here are Complex Psychological Issues that are spread across the Entire Emotional Spectrum." I hated people that metaphorically capitalise when they speak.
"Please Doc," I pleaded in my almost whiney, adolescent tones "Just tell me what's wrong with me."
She'd hesitated for a second, before delivering her devastating speech with clinical dispassion: "In a nutshell SImon, you've been bottling up your anger so much and for so long that you're on a veritable hair-trigger of psychosis. The poor way you feel that people treat you has, over a period of years, caused a reservoir of rage to build gradually within you, rage that you do not vent because you as a person find it difficult to deal with your emotions. Over time, this rage reaches a critical point and the slightest comment or even expression that you deem to be detrimental is enough to push you over the edge." - She locked eyes with me for a long few seconds before concluding - "Like what occurred with Jane."
---
I'm a wreck when I return from Colin's office and silently, I suspect my colleagues find my rather obvious worry somewhat amusing.
"erm... What's going on here?" I stammer to Carol opposite me, gesturing to the piles of boxes that have miraculously appeared on my workspace during the ten minute duration of my 'chat'.
"We're clearing out the old filing cabinets and we needed somewhere to store last year's paperwork while we get round to sorting it." She is dismissive and even looks mildly annoyed that I have deemed myself worthy of her attention, "It's just for a couple of days." She focuses her attention on to her nails as a sign that she is finished with me.
"What am I supposed to do in the meantime?" I ask, but nobody acknowledges so I get set about finding somewhere else to work.
---
I don't want to think about Jane on this morning walk to work, but the parallels are too stark to ignore - I'd had an especially difficult day then as well. A day whose events I can recall with an almost savant detail, even though it was back when I was fourteen - All but those 2 hours minutes immediately after Jane, my best friend, made some quip about my shoes. The next thing I know, I'm in a hospital receiving treatment for shattered knuckles and a broken wrist and Jane is lying in the bed next to me unconscious, her face unrecognisable under a mass of bruising.
It turns out my injuries were caused by hitting her so hard.
I am jerked from my melancholy reminiscence when I see my building looming on the horizon and realise that something very similar must have occured yesterday.
"God I wish I knew what happened" I say again, making one last attempt to revisit yesterday and find the missing piece of that day.
---
later in the day and I'm being summoned to Colin's office again. I feel weary, like an aging boxer who's taken too many hits, waiting for the one that finally snaps me into oblivion, in a way it's not far from the truth. Then again, I always feel like this in the afternoon.
I take my seat for the second time and am again hit with the belligerent manner that is the true mark of middle-management. I'm not sure how much of his bullshit I'm prepared to take.
"You wanted to see..."
Interruption. "Have you done those reports yet?"
I feel a throbbing sensation in my hands and realise that my fists are tightly clenched under the table - I'm getting pretty fucking tired of being cut-off by this guy. I've never really stopped and thought about it before but other than the pretentious bronze name-plaque on his desk, what exactly gives him the right to talk to me like this?
"Actually I've...."
"Why the fuck not?"
I hear a horrible dull scraping noise and it is with shock that I realise my teeth are grinding together as I grit them so hard. The throbbing in my hands is replaced by a sharp pain and I know without looking that my nails have pierced the flesh of my palm. I can feel a wave of faintness wash through me.
"...And Carol tells me you've not been at your desk all day. What the fuck have you been doing then?"
That Fucking Bitch.
My vision fades into nothing and I know that I'm no longer in control of my own actions. The last thing I remember is standing up, fists still balled, ready to shout my opponent into the ground. Or Worse.
---
There's nothing after that until I awoke this morning to the horrendous buzzing of my alarm clock that relentlessly signals the end of my happiness as a matter of routine. Anything could've gone on in that office and if it's anywhere close to what happened last time I blacked out, my day isn't gonna be easy.
I have to push all these thoughts behind me as I approach the main entrance though, 'Just act like everything's normal' I tell myself, 'Probably nothing happened at all'.
I fucking love denial - it makes everything so much easier to bear.
I release a deep breath that does nothing to put me at ease for all its explosiveness and walk through the main door into reception. Time to face the music.
Straight away our Receptionist gives me a funny look and my stomach drops through the floor before I realise that she always looks at me like that. I nod to her and stroll past into the main office with a confidence I don't feel. I don't know if it's my imagination, but the already quiet room seems to fall silent on my entry and all eyes turn their scrutiny upon me. I'm about to walk straight back out again when carol walks by and waves at me with what looks curiously close to a smile.
"Morning Simon!" She beams "How are you today?"
Astonishing. There's not a hint of sarcasm in her voice and she actually seems genuinely concerned as to my well being. In my entire 5 year career here, this has never happened - not even so much as a hello.
My worry increases as I take my seat at my desk and realise that it is immaculate, the boxes that cluttered it yesterday are nowhere to be seen. My gold pen has even reappeared in my desk-tidy.
It is when I read my e-mails though, that I get my biggest shock.
From: Colin Turner
Sent: 19 July 2005 16:01
To: Simon Roberts
Subject:Yesterday's events
Simon,
Following our eventful meeting, I must inform you that it was with the greatest of regret that I received your complaints as to the manner in which your fellow colleagues and to a large extent I, have treated you. I appreciate that you are being put under a lot of pressure and this is obviously having a detrimental effect on your well-being both in and out of the workplace.
Please accept my humblest apologies on the matter and rest assured, I will be working towards resolving the issue and making sure that you receive some kind of remuneration over these sad events.
To this end, I feel that no follow-up from on some of your more personal comments will be necessary and hope that the two of us can forget the whole sorry affair and move on.
Regards,
Colin.
This must be some kind of sick joke. Remunerations? No fucking way.
I turn to peer into Simon's office to see if he is watching my reaction and laughing, he's there alright but there's not an ounce of mirth about him - instead he has a butterfly clip on a fresh cut above his left eye and his stare betrays a primitive kind of fear as he tries to match my gaze for a second, before turning away. I think he's actually scared of me!
Looking around as if for the first time, I realise that this look of fear is shared in some way by almost every member of staff in the building. The whole company seems to have developed a group kind of awed nervousness directed at me. I find my joy at this observation completely inexplicable, but I'm no longer worried about the consequences of my eruption yesterday.
Instead I re-read the e-mail and smile.
"Christ, I wish I could remember what happened." I say again.
And my smile deepens into a feral grin.
Entry 1:
bnlfanmatt
DonovanMD
ess-arr
GodLovesALittleLovin
williamson
4 eligible votes (5 total) *
Entry 2:
absolutes
Adamdidit2u
AsshOly
badassmofo
BLITZKREIG_BOB
bob
c1ndy
Captain_Cool
CaptainThorns
comicbookguy
Coyote
darko
Davros
DeathJester
Deidra
Dervel
doctorj24
dodahdave
DonkeyOnTheEdge
Exodus
hinschn
Impassive-Digressive
Jack_McCallum
jgreening
JMG114
JonnyX
justagirl27
Katastrofadark
kimmy02721
knucklesnelson
Kre8rix
LadyPlural
loki
Magicaddict
MandaPanda
Merlina
munkeypants
Natsukau
NetProphet
nitty34
notyou
Pentameter
rad1101
Ragman
RandomJose
RyuFu
satchel
SiskelandFatboy
Slovin
Snark
Spam
sparkle_pink
spedmonkey
stevie_says
swamp_donkey
thecaes
thorpe
Viciousriffs
Wiggles
William_Q_Percy
youarsoghey
zakalwe
55 eligible votes (62 total) *
* Eligible votes are those made by users who had either (A) posted 3+ messages OR (B) written 100+ [lowered from 750+] reviews as of the beginning of the UberMadness! competition.
User Reviews
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-07-21 11:48:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I wanted a JPEG of the Eruption solo.
Submitted by kimmy02721 (user info) at 2005-07-21 11:35:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
eh?
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2005-07-21 06:41:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Katastrofadark (user info) at 2005-07-21 05:32:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-07-20 22:16:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-07-20 19:31:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by notyou (user info) at 2005-07-20 18:08:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm tired. Why did I stay up til 2:30am yesterday?
#2 > #1
Submitted by satchel (user info) at 2005-07-20 17:40:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Deidra (user info) at 2005-07-20 16:58:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-07-20 15:58:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Neither was great. I kept expecting the narrator in Entry two to start muttering about his stapler or something.
Submitted by Viciousriffs (user info) at 2005-07-20 15:09:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-07-20 10:08:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Natsukau (user info) at 2005-07-20 07:36:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-20 07:04:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
OMG #1 = WILL ASS SON
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-20 07:03:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I should have written about ejaculation
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-07-20 06:24:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-07-20 05:10:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Interesting - both articles used an emotional eruption to fit the title.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-07-20 04:26:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-07-19 19:59:31 (#)
Ranking: 0
Knock that shit off right now, guys.
I've personally DQed people before, and I don't want to start now.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
-2 die faggot...
Do whatever the fuck you want, but don't expect me to listen to your orders. You nuked me arsehat. You actually bothered to sit there and click 55 posts and -2 EACH ONE and now you pretend you're somehow superiour enough to command others to listen to your threats.
If you have any balls you'll DQ me, but I won't follow one of YOUR orders. Get a respectable UM fella to tell me to shut up, then I will... but I ain't listening to you.
PS. Go Author 2. WOOOO!
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-07-20 03:54:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I don't smell any testosterone
Submitted by Captain_Cool (user info) at 2005-07-20 03:37:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great!
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-07-20 02:48:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-07-20 02:48:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This one rocked, 1 that is. 2 wasnt bad.
Submitted by RandomJose (user info) at 2005-07-20 01:20:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yay for the abusive guy.
I mean, the abusive guy in #2.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-07-20 00:03:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Heh. I liked how you never find out what Simon did. Leaves it open to the imagination. I thought #2 was better written.
Entry 1, there were too many 'daddys' and 'mommys' and such. I see where you were heading with the emotional impact, but for some reason it just wasn't there for me. I think your dad character was a little too monstrous for me to take seriously. It's bad enough to beat your wife...beating her TO DEATH is a little overboard for a short story like this.
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2005-07-19 22:52:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by justagirl27 (user info) at 2005-07-19 22:51:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
i think you were looking into colin's office at the end, not simon's dur.
Submitted by bnlfanmatt (user info) at 2005-07-19 22:38:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-07-19 22:26:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Slovin (user info) at 2005-07-19 21:59:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-07-19 19:59:31 (#)
Ranking: 0
Knock that shit off right now, guys.
I've personally DQed people before, and I don't want to start now.
------------------------
Shut the fuck up and quit acting like you have some kind of magical power.
It's not a DQ unless you tell people YOURSELF which post is yours, you fucking asshat.
And I don't appreciate alters voting in UberMadness. Knock that "knucklesnelson" shit off immediately or I will have YOU disqualified.
Submitted by Exodus (user info) at 2005-07-19 21:55:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i read one and then looked at the first paragraph of 2 and i decided that 2 won it by default.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-07-19 21:35:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-07-19 19:59:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-07-19 17:29:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Slovin (user info) at 2005-07-19 16:29:59 (#)
Ranking: 0
w vs s
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
NOW, whatever could that mean???? *shifty eyes*
---------------
Knock that shit off right now, guys.
I've personally DQed people before, and I don't want to start now.
Submitted by doctorj24 (user info) at 2005-07-19 18:31:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Entry #2 is the shiznit, except for the "hours minutes" mistake.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-07-19 17:29:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-07-19 15:00:52 (#)
Ranking: 1
#2 was pretty good.
#1 was already posted in UberMadness, last round. Try to be original, people...
-=-=-=-==--=-=-=
I suspect whoever Autohor 1 is wasn't around during the last UM.
Good work Author2. Whoever Author 1 is got his arse handed to him on a silver platter. You're a damn good writer 2.
Yeah, Author one sucks... Congrats Author 2.
Submitted by Slovin (user info) at 2005-07-19 16:29:59 (#)
Ranking: 0
w vs s
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
NOW, whatever could that mean???? *shifty eyes*
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-07-19 16:58:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Slovin (user info) at 2005-07-19 16:29:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
w vs s
Submitted by Slovin (user info) at 2005-07-19 16:29:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-07-19 16:18:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Magicaddict (user info) at 2005-07-19 16:05:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2005-07-19 15:12:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-07-19 15:03:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-07-19 09:42:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
Whom else expected tubgirl? Perhaps the tubgirl craze is sleeping with the fishes.
--
Don't you mean 'fishies'?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-07-19 15:01:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jesus on a stick with fries on the side, what a waste of a good title!
Still, I liked #2.
#1, that kind of shit is so overdone it is ash by now.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-07-19 15:00:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
#2 was pretty good.
#1 was already posted in UberMadness, last round. Try to be original, people...
Submitted by hinschn (user info) at 2005-07-19 14:24:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-07-19 13:37:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
At least it wasn't Tubgirl...
Submitted by dodahdave (user info) at 2005-07-19 13:28:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Author #2 switched the names of the characters right near the end. Made me have to go back and re-read a couple of times. Better watch that.
In this case, though, there was no danger of losing my vote.
Submitted by absolutes (user info) at 2005-07-19 13:18:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-07-19 10:43:50 (#)
Ranking: 0
If either of you would have written about Van Halen I would have stopped the competition and given you the title.
I was also hoping for this.
Submitted by absolutes (user info) at 2005-07-19 13:17:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-07-19 13:15:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
If author one drew that picture... it's awesome, but I still liked the story of #2 better. sorry.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-07-19 13:05:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2005-07-19 12:36:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-07-19 12:25:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2005-07-19 12:25:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Similar interpretations of the title, both well done. Tough choice.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-07-19 11:43:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-07-19 11:41:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No comment.
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2005-07-19 11:11:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
number #1 gave me herpes
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-07-19 10:43:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If either of you would have written about Van Halen I would have stopped the competition and given you the title.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2005-07-19 10:30:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-07-19 10:05:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2005-07-19 10:04:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-07-19 10:03:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-07-19 10:02:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#1 was like a fucking car wreck. Mummy? GAH I want to propagate some domestic violence on you author #1!
Overall I was very dissapointed these entries needed more volcanoes.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2005-07-19 09:49:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
1-short but to the point, no run around
Submitted by Ragman (user info) at 2005-07-19 09:48:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-07-19 09:42:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Whom else expected tubgirl? Perhaps the tubgirl craze is sleeping with the fishes.
Submitted by SiskelandFatboy (user info) at 2005-07-19 09:28:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-07-19 09:23:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-07-19 09:22:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-07-19 09:05:18 (#)
Ranking: 0
But whom killed him and why?
------------
It's not the next "re 16 y/olds", but god damn it's close.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-07-19 09:21:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
2 gets the vote ONLY... ONLY because my head was hurting from the grammar in #1.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-07-19 09:10:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
no contest
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-07-19 09:06:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
At least neither of these people wrote about that shitty Eddie Van Halen song.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-07-19 09:05:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#1 you could have had me, I could have been sucked into this story if you would have done more with it.
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-07-19 09:05:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
But whom killed him and why?
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-07-19 09:04:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-07-19 08:52:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by swamp_donkey (user info) at 2005-07-19 08:52:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Eruption:
I stroked my cock until there was an eruption.
The end.
WOO SWAMP!
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-07-19 08:51:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hotness. With the fire, and the burning, and a dash of flaglayvahoyvin thrown in for good measure, ngyaai...
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-07-19 08:49:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The last line in number one absolutely killed it for me.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-07-19 08:47:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-07-19 08:45:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
good stuff number 2.