For My First Act (918 hits)
Category: UberMadness!Rating: 0.23 on 74 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by UberMadness! (View user info) at 2005-07-19 08:40:05 EDT
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Entry 1
Though it lasted only a short while, there was a time in my childhood when I wanted to grow up to be a magician. Like, you know... David Copperfield type shit. Cuz there's some intangible emotion invoked when you entertain an audience- fascinating them, mystifying them, bewildering them... as you craft around you the illusion that somehow you have the ability to manipulate the fabric of time and space itself.You know, not everyone will remember what their fleeting childhood dreams were in their later years when they mature and settle into a mundane career. I only remember because I never entirely gave that dream up. But strangely enough, as I went from high school drop-out to the proud holder of a GED to a collegiate failure, the dream of becoming an illusionist slowly transformed into somehow envisioning myself as a "hustla"... some kind of local crime lord.
Yet I grew up in a cushioned suburban environment with the majority of my needs met.
I built this warm little nest of identity in the perception that I'm some kind of urban gangsta. The kind that could say "nigger" around black people, and it would be all cool with them.
No, seriously.
I believe now more than ever that the person most trapped in the world of smoke and mirrors I created was myself.
Anyways, I didn't grow up to be a magician. Almost nobody does what they thought they would as a kid.
Still, I never quite lost the desire or ability to craft some kind of make-believe universe in the eyes of all who knew me. The people I love are still being manipulated, every day, as I weave another masterful deception with every word I speak. I'll fabricate myths for no reason than to judge the response I get, even when it benefits me in no way.
So sure, I'm still a magician. But the only person who's being entertained is me, and everyone else... well, they were put here to be exploited for my own amusement.
They just don't know it yet.
Almost anything you do in life can be broken down into a routine. Think about it for a second. You really only rarely do something for the very first time- every time afterward you're banking somewhat on your experience the first time around. By the fourth or fifth time you've gone through the experience, you've established a routine.
Like a line-up. Like a script, but for life.
My routine is pretty polished. Acquire trust, exploit it, and then just lie, lie, lie until nobody knows the difference, least of all yourself.
See, you can't manipulate somebody unless they trust you. And they don't trust you unless you give them a reason to. Charm, charisma, wit, a sense of integrity... even if you don't actually possess any of those traits, that doesn't mean you can't imitate them with some practice. Watch thirty James Bond movies in a row, you'll have a pretty good sense of charm, no matter how artificial it might be.
Anybody can dopplegang. Anybody can cry over a relative that never died. Anybody can use a simple knowledge of social dynamics to nudge the human soul in the right direction; to pluck another's heart-strings like a finely tuned harp. To mirror the other person's actions and emotions. To generate rapport. To say whatever the other person needs to hear, about falsified memories, about themselves, about the world and your opinion on things.
The hard part, you see, lies neither in the acquisition of these routines, nor in their execution.
Not really.
The hardest part is that disillusioned look they give you when you know that you shattered their whole world.
Of course, the best way to avoid those kinds of awkward moments is to keep your story straight and not get caught.
I suppose that is where my story begins.
With me wanting to be a magician, that is. Well, that's where all the relevant parts start to come together.
I was probably twelve years old, wearing an antique top hat owned by the now deceased father of my mother, and a cape fashioned from a bath towel.
We didn't have a lot, my family, if you can even really call it my family.
Dad was never around. Mom left a loooooong ass time ago. Step mom thinks she's mom. All this stuff would change the innocent need for attention that fueled my lust for the spotlight into an insatiable urge to manifest drama and tragedy into the world around me.
You understand that it's not some handicap of my own, right?
There are plenty of people in the world just like me. Looking out for number one.
And looking back, I could have spent the rest of my life as just another one of those people, if it hadn't been for this one little guy, who in our pleasant little home video flashback we're having right now is sitting on the living room sofa watching me fumble my way through a nearly unrehearsed card trick. He was six years old then, chubby little face, cute as hell and god did he adore me.
Come to think of it, I've spent the last fifteen years pulling each and every one of my stunts directly out of my ass. I supposed I just grew comfortable with the last-minute, spontaneous attitude, just barely slipping out of the hands of complete obliteration time and again.
For the longest time I thought this talent made me some kind of champion. Up until the adoration faded from his eyes, and was replaced with bitter resentment. It always gets me when I think about how long he gave me the benefit of the doubt. How much bullshit he was actually willing to swallow just to maintain his perception that I wasn't this total monster that I've become.
So, yeah, I'd say that little guy showed me just how small I am.
I wish there was more I could say about everything. I had a pretty troubled youth, even if it wasn't due to financial restrictions in my family. None of that would exonerate me, thought. And while I could spend the rest of my life giving you the details, you'd never know if they were true. I've been lying for far too long.
Anyways, this isn't for you so much as it is for me.
I guess I'll get it all out on the table.
To my father, who kept me from a long stay at the stoney lonely... you should have saved your money. I really wasn't worth it. I really think the whole family would have been saved a lot of heartbreak if I just spent a couple years in prison back when I was young and had a chance to straighten everything out.
To my girl, who stood by me while I emptied your bank account and abused you verbally on a daily basis: find a man who will treat you right. Some day I will be a good father, I hope. That day isn't coming any time soon.
To Cioci... the only person who loved me unconditionally from the beginning of my life straight up to the gruesome, twisted end it's rapidly reaching: if there was anyone I didn't want to disappoint, disillusion and ultimately destroy, it was you.
I apologize. A thousand times, I apologize, for what it's worth, which I am sure is precisely squat. I'm just plain sorry. To everyone. For the first time in my life, I truly feel like I've done something wrong by tearing apart the lives of others to maintain the stability of my own. I don't have words else, except just... sorry.
Most of all, to that little guy.
Some day I will pay you back- not just all the money, but for what I put you through. I know how much you looked up to me all those years. I know what it must have been like to have your role model turn out to be a total loser, and not some invincible gangster crime lord who rules the universe that revolves around him.
So, whatever. Maybe you'll never forgive me.
But from my first act to my last, you should know that you were the only person I couldn't stand to see hurt.
No more acting.
I'm sorry, bro.
And that's not just part of the show.
- VS -
Entry 2
The magician walked out onto the stage of Washington D.C.'s John F. Kennedy Center alone, carrying only a shimmering black cape on his arm. His eyes flashed as the stage lights dimmed, leaving only his face illuminated.It's a handsome face, thought Jennifer Tonbury from three rows back in the audience. Although his body was small in stature, he had an inner strength to him that shone clearly from his face. Jennifer was an expert at judging faces. In her line of business, she had to be. But that wasn't why she was here. On this night, she just wanted to relax and enjoy the fruits of her labor.
He stood in the center of the stage now, hands akimbo. A soft fog began to spread across the floor of the stage, as the magician began to speak.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I thank you for coming to the show tonight," he said in a deep baritone. Jennifer liked his voice immediately. While it conveyed warmth, it also had a mysterious quality to it; some little accent that nonetheless gave it an exotic texture. "I will not keep you waiting. Let us begin."
As his voice cut out, a soft, haunting melody began flowing from the theatre speakers. Without warning, the cape in the magician's hand began moving, almost as if it were acting on its own. As it swam through the air, making shimmering patterns in front of the magician, the fog on the ground likewise ebbed and flowed with it.
The cape was suddenly tossed away over the magician's shoulder, and the house lights were snuffed. The three lit torches that had instantly appeared in his hands illuminated his face. He smiled.
"And now for my first act," he said. "Playing with fire."
The torches began leaping to and fro between his hands instantaneously, and Jennifer leaned back in her seat to watch. His voice played through her mind and she smiled. He was quite wrong, although neither he nor the rest of the audience was aware of it. The first act in the real show had been played out several years before. Now, finally, the performance was nearing the end.
<>
There is a theory shared among some environmentalists known as the Gaia Theory. Originally postulated by English scientist James Lovelock, the Gaia Theory, in its most basic form, states that the Earth is really a self-sufficient organism, which regulates itself so as to be more hospitable to life. Radical environmentalists, however, have taken it one step farther: some believe that the Earth, once wounded badly enough, will take measures to protect itself, which will include making itself inhospitable to life, thus killing off those that injure it and starting afresh.
Jennifer Tonbury was one of these believers. A member of the Sierra Club since her fifteenth birthday, she had always cared deeply about each and every plant, animal, and other form of life on the planet. So, when three strange men approached her one day about a way to save the planet from the greatest disease it had ever known, she readily accepted.
This disease, of course, was humankind. Indeed, Jennifer had always felt distant from her fellow men, even those in her family. The fact that they could be so callous about the rapidly accelerating demise of their own home disgusted her. At the same time, though, it was obvious that the planet's own defenses were beginning to come alive in its defense. Scientists the world over declared global warming to be the result of man-made chemicals, but from the moment Jennifer first heard of the Gaia theory, she knew the truth. Earth was finally acting to remove these parasites from her skin.
It wasn't going fast enough, though. More and more of her resources were stripped away every day. At the current rate, more than 50 percent of the world's trees would be dead, nearly five thousand animals extinct before the global temperature rose just a couple degrees.
So, said the men that fateful day, what if we help Gaia along some?
Thus began what Jennifer began calling "Operation Machiavelli". What if mankind could be manipulated to destroy itself? She swore her life over to the Plan; once high school was done, she flew to Australia to begin her work in earnest. There she received valuable training in the Outback, where no one was likely to be treading through the barren hills and chance upon the young woman practicing any number of new skills.
Three years later, when she left the Southern Hemisphere to begin the mission, no one would have recognized in her the gentle teenybopper of her past life. She had proved an exceptional learner, moving from lesson to lesson at seemingly inhuman speeds. It had taken her only a couple days to become intimately familiar with firearms; only a week and a half for her to become an expert with demolitions. Along the way she had also picked up many other elements of tradecraft, such as language skills, stealth, and unarmed combat as well.
The first target of Operation Machiavelli was the American ambassador to Lebanon. She flew into Beirut on an Aeroflot flight out of St. Petersburg. It only took a few well-placed inquiries and well-compensated embassy employees to determine where the ambassador usually left the building.
One well-placed sniper bullet later, Jennifer found herself running for her life through the streets of Beirut. She wasn't caught, but she did learn an important lesson: never go ahead with a mission without a definite escape plan ready.
That night, she snuck back to the embassy and planted C4 charges, manufactured in China, around its support structures. The embassy's patrolling guard force, although angered by the death of the ambassador, was easily evaded, and she managed to escape the grounds without being caught.
The next morning, at 0903 hours local time, the building imploded, killing or wounding hundreds of Americans and Lebanese. After carefully analyzing the evidence left at the scene, the United States angrily ordered its Pacific Fleet to increase readiness to DefCon 3. The People's Republic of China, however, vehemently denied all allegations, and elite unites of the People's Liberation Army began an accelerated training program in the Gobi Desert.
Meanwhile, Teshi Hong, Chinese Minister of the Interior, and Yang Zhao Ji, Minister of Defense, were both coincidentally killed the same day in Beijing, when a truck hit each official car on the way to the Politburo in the morning.
The next four months were a blur. Jennifer managed to visit nearly every civilized country around the globe, as well as many less-fortunate nations as well. She managed to evade death or captivity every step of the way, and in her wake lay pure carnage. In Paris, the CIA station chief was accidentally caught in a gang war and murdered; the alleged gunmen were found dead just a few hours later, a single bullet exploded through each head. A structure fire destroyed the Chinese embassy in Vienna three days later, followed by a similar incident in Berlin just fifteen hours after. And after each incident, angry notes would fly between the two governments, angry politicians would make patriotic speeches to an angry populace, and an angry military would increase its readiness one step further.
All that was necessary now to bring the show to its stunning climax was one more blow to be struck, as surgically precise as it was calculatingly deadly. This was the reason she had come to Washington.
<>
Jennifer opened her eyes and smiled. The final act was scheduled to begin any second now, after all. The magician still tossed the flames nonchalantly through the air, but as she began to watch again, he slowed down. He scanned through the audience, as if looking for something.
His eyes passed over Jennifer, and he paused. As the two stared into each other's eyes, the motion of the flames stopped altogether. Then he winked, and the moment passed. A flash of black, and the magician's back was turned to the audience. The loose-fitting clothes he wore billowed out. Suddenly, without warning, he turned and flung a single lit torch directly into the crowd, directly at Jennifer.
She laughed aloud as the audience members screamed and flung themselves out of their seats as it tumbled through the air above them. She could feel the heat on her face as she easily dodged; the torch flipped lazily past her head, and her head turned to follow its progress into the crowd. It headed directly for a man five rows behind her, who threw his hands up and shut his eyes tightly, braced for the impact.
And then the torch was gone. The man winced as the heat came dangerously close. After several seconds with no impact, however, he opened one eye, then another, to see the magician standing with the torches in his hand on the stage. Jennifer smirked silently as the man began laughing nervously. He was joined by the rest of the crowd, making light of his nervous escape.
Then the building was shook by an explosion. The lights flickered, and the venerable structure groaned. Dust fell from the ceiling, obscuring the scene briefly. As the laughs turned into screams, her smile broadened. This was her show now. She glanced back at the magician, who stood statuesque on the stage, mouth agape as the audience began streaming toward the exits. She caught his eye and winked, mirroring the gesture he had given her mere seconds before.
Then she turned toward the throngs of panicked people and followed them toward the packed exits. She couldn't help but laugh. The curtain was coming down now, after the greatest performance Earth would ever see. It was just too bad she wouldn't be able to take the bow at the end.
Entry 1:
apollo88
Deidra
ess-arr
justagirl27
knucklesnelson
MandaPanda
Natsukau
NetProphet
nitty34
Pentameter
salmonofdoubt
sg11588
SiskelandFatboy
Teephphah
Wiggles
William_Q_Percy
zakalwe
15 eligible votes (17 total) *
Entry 2:
absolutes
Adamdidit2u
Axolotl
badassmofo
Badlands
BLITZKREIG_BOB
bob
c1ndy
CaptainThorns
comicbookguy
Coyote
darko
Davros
doctorj24
dodahdave
DonkeyOnTheEdge
DonovanMD
Exodus
Gnome
iddqd
Impassive-Digressive
indoninja
Jack_McCallum
jgreening
JMG114
joedaddy
JonnyX
Katastrofadark
kimmy02721
Kre8rix
LadyPlural
loki
Magicaddict
Merlina
munkeypants
MyNameIsTim
notyou
rad1101
Ragman
RandomJose
Razor
RyuFu
Slovin
Snark
sparkle_pink
spedmonkey
Stabkill
stevie_says
Stin
tlozoot
Viciousriffs
youarsoghey
YouLookLikeINeedADrink
48 eligible votes (53 total) *
* Eligible votes are those made by users who had either (A) posted 3+ messages OR (B) written 100+ [lowered from 750+] reviews as of the beginning of the UberMadness! competition.
User Reviews
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-07-22 00:28:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/71390#1471681
Submitted by kimmy02721 (user info) at 2005-07-21 11:35:20 EDT (#)
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No Comment
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2005-07-21 11:18:25 EDT (#)
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Submitted by Katastrofadark (user info) at 2005-07-21 05:20:09 EDT (#)
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Submitted by YouLookLikeINeedADrink (user info) at 2005-07-21 00:28:43 EDT (#)
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Submitted by salmonofdoubt (user info) at 2005-07-20 23:44:49 EDT (#)
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Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-07-20 22:19:23 EDT (#)
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Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-07-20 19:33:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-07-20 18:53:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
David Copperfield is a self-centered, Grade A certified wad of cuntvomit.
Submitted by notyou (user info) at 2005-07-20 18:36:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
1-Not enough detail and too much explanation, I finished and had no idea what happened.
2-I liked this entry. Nothing really to comment on. It was good.
Submitted by Gnome (user info) at 2005-07-20 18:21:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Deidra (user info) at 2005-07-20 16:57:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-07-20 16:16:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Viciousriffs (user info) at 2005-07-20 15:52:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Impressive, #2. #1 was a bit too vague and hollow, no connection was really established.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2005-07-20 13:56:11 EDT (#)
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No Comment
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-07-20 13:48:29 EDT (#)
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Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2005-07-20 12:21:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-07-20 12:09:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The voters are wrong on this one.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-07-20 10:53:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Neither of these made much sense.
Submitted by Natsukau (user info) at 2005-07-20 07:37:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-07-20 04:10:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I love reading the critiques from some of the people at Ubersite.
This must be the largest collection of unemployed ghost writers in the entire fucking universe!
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-07-20 04:03:16 EDT (#)
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No Comment
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-07-20 02:47:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by RandomJose (user info) at 2005-07-20 01:43:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why'd she target a magic show, after hitting so many more important targets?
It almost makes me want to vote for #1. Almost...
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2005-07-19 23:01:07 EDT (#)
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No Comment
Submitted by justagirl27 (user info) at 2005-07-19 23:00:00 EDT (#)
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No Comment
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-07-19 22:39:26 EDT (#)
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No Comment
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2005-07-19 21:53:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
APOCALYPSE
+2 LIVE
Submitted by Exodus (user info) at 2005-07-19 21:53:06 EDT (#)
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No Comment
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-07-19 21:34:34 EDT (#)
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No Comment
Submitted by doctorj24 (user info) at 2005-07-19 19:14:46 EDT (#)
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No Comment
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-07-19 17:00:58 EDT (#)
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No Comment
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2005-07-19 16:36:57 EDT (#)
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No Comment
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-07-19 16:36:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Didn't read either.
Submitted by Magicaddict (user info) at 2005-07-19 16:27:38 EDT (#)
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No Comment
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-07-19 16:18:56 EDT (#)
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No Comment
Submitted by Slovin (user info) at 2005-07-19 15:48:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
NP vs sm
Submitted by Slovin (user info) at 2005-07-19 15:48:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HAHAHAHAHA
Two fucking magicians.
What the hell are the odds.
Submitted by tlozoot (user info) at 2005-07-19 15:30:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Easy decision.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-07-19 15:20:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Putty VS taupe!
It is ON, baby!
Feh. Vote goes to the... uh... wordiest one.
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2005-07-19 15:15:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Entry 1: If an emotion is intangible to the person who feels it, how can it be an emotion...or intangible?
Submitted by dodahdave (user info) at 2005-07-19 15:15:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#2 was written better.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-07-19 14:51:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
"and everyone else... well, they were put here to be exploited for my own amusement."
expolit this, oh crier-of-emo tears...
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-07-19 14:29:47 EDT (#)
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No Comment
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-07-19 14:21:40 EDT (#)
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No Comment
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-07-19 14:08:31 EDT (#)
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No Comment
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-07-19 13:36:41 EDT (#)
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No Comment
Submitted by absolutes (user info) at 2005-07-19 13:15:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2005-07-19 12:46:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I liked entry 2, but I thought the whole magic show part was kind of forced. She seemed to be striking political targets, why a magic show?
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-07-19 12:43:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No comment.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-07-19 12:40:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-07-19 11:47:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
First, entry #2 was pretty well written. But it was nothing extraordinary. Tom Clancy type stuff. Which tends to bore me. I also thought the ending could have been cleared up a little bit. Has a bombing at a magic show at the Kennedy Center brought the worlds two major super powers to war at last? Not sure I buy it.
Entry #2 suffered a little in the vocabulary . . . sort of. You couldn't get too flowery with your protagonist, but I thought that sometimes the language was TOO clean, if possible. Especially at the end, with the apologies. I thought you had done an absolutely incredible of finding this character's "voice" all throughout, and in the end he drops the front. But maybe that was part of the plan.
The last couple lines were gold. You rock.
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2005-07-19 11:24:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2005-07-19 10:38:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2005-07-19 10:35:10 EDT (#)
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No Comment
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-07-19 10:23:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by SiskelandFatboy (user info) at 2005-07-19 10:13:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-07-19 10:07:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2005-07-19 10:05:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Ragman (user info) at 2005-07-19 09:59:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
god damn that was a close call!!
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-07-19 09:58:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Entry two was excellent, but the ending was lackluster to say the least
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2005-07-19 09:57:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-07-19 09:53:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-07-19 09:43:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2005-07-19 09:40:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-07-19 09:27:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-07-19 09:21:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-07-19 09:09:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-07-19 09:01:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Seemed more true to life.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-07-19 09:00:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I dunno, this should be a close one.
Submitted by sg11588 (user info) at 2005-07-19 09:00:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Kind of hard to decide.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-07-19 08:53:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-07-19 08:49:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This was a hard choice. In the end I voted 2 because it is more polished.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-19 08:48:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment