Obesity Southern style, & a Bulemic in your office, with only 2 toilets (889 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.61 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by your_arse_is_hanging_out (View user info) at 2005-07-22 11:53:51 EDT
At my former place of employment, there were about 30 people in our office equipped with two comodes. I worked in accounting, as an assistant, where I was unmercifully sexually harrassed by the owner's fiance. There were a lot of weird characters that worked there. But a few great ones, one in fact I still hang out with today. (read: smoke weed and gossip)
Well, let me introduce Jo. She is 56 now, 5'2, southern, and morbidly obese. She must weight about 300 pounds without exaggeration. However, I have never seen a stacked obese ass like hers. You cannot get by it. It's not flabby or hanging to the ground, but it's like 50 pounds of cottage cheese stacked on top of her backside. She has trouble walking, health problems, and one day she actually shat herself and had to go home. When she filed in the "big files" she took her chair with her. When she copied or faxed, she took her chair with her. She couldnt stand for very long. It is surprising she didn't take her chair with her to go to the bathroom. She probably didn't do that because she would have SHAT ALL OVER IT.
I don't know how it happened, but on numerous occasions, shit was everywhere in the women's bathroom. On the floor, on the top of the toilet, on the seat, on the handle, and even on the wall. It was disgusting and happened often!
If that wasn't bad enough, we had just hired a new property manager, Jenni, who was 25 years old, 5'7, and 98 pounds. When she came in and interviewed, she revealed that she used to weight 230 pounds. Whoa. Well, after a few weeks of her working, it became apparent that she could eat an entire bag of Doritos, 5 Krispy Kreme donuts, and 2 full Chinese entrees, in a 2 hour span. It was unreal.
After finishing off those Chinese lunches, she'd drag her feet and walk to the bathroom. After literally 20-30 minutes, Jenni would come out of the bathroom with a stark white face, and would begin skipping around the office. It was unreal. She had this little girl syndrome, where she would wear her hair in pigtails and talk like a little girl. At our company picnic she got in a bikini, and when youre 230 pounds, and you lose 100 pounds--your skin hangs off you. She was all bones, and skin. It was truly sad.
She got fired after about 4 months, for embezzlement.
However, the state of our bathroom situation was horrible. Because out of the 30 people who worked at the office, 26 of them were female. And we all know how catty and rude women are. The shit splattered vomit stench that was our women's bathroom was cause for 2 company meetings, where our female owner explained the hygenine aspect of cleaning up your messes in the bathroom to all 26 of us females (so no one would feel picked on). Most of the women laughed and stood together in their cliques while the vomiter, and the obese shit spewer stalked off in a tiff.
I will NOT post the picture I found in Google images, smelly poop. If you are so inclined, look it up. Then add some vomit on the side. Hazardous working environment.
User Reviews
Submitted by ellsmall (user info) at 2005-07-22 16:06:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OMFG!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-07-22 14:29:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Thank you for not posting a pic.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2005-07-22 14:11:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto linkwhore +2:
Post your Anchorman quotes here:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/71418
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-07-22 13:59:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey, good story!
Submitted by crazybutsolazy (user info) at 2005-07-22 13:46:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ewwwwwwwwwww nasty images in my head now
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2005-07-22 13:19:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's a pretty decent ratio of Tab A to Slot B...but then again if all of your slots are like the two you described, I think I'd stick to the intraweb.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-07-22 13:16:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha
That was great! Cottage cheese!
Related:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/71254
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-07-22 12:58:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Truly disturbing!
Submitted by stuckfix (user info) at 2005-07-22 12:49:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate it when other dudes in the office can't lift the fuckin' seat up. For god sakes, grab a square of paper and lift the seat, so I don't have to spend half an hour wiping up piss before I go poop.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-07-22 12:30:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For not posting disgusting pictures.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-07-22 12:20:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now us men have got it all worked out, we all piss on the floor, vomit in the sink and smear crap on the walls of the cubicle together.
GO MALE SOLIDARITY WOO!!
Submitted by krissi (user info) at 2005-07-22 12:19:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yikes.
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-07-22 12:15:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nasty ass fat people.
Submitted by goose (user info) at 2005-07-22 12:10:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dear god, you poor thing
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-07-22 12:01:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wowsers
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-07-22 12:00:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I work in a holding pen for people who have failed at life too. I feel your pain.
Submitted by RaineLark (user info) at 2005-07-22 11:58:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A possible explanation:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/70724
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-07-22 11:57:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
blimey