Ubersite Auction to keep bartbart out of the poorhouse (746 hits)
Category: Business & FinancialRating: 0.65 on 32 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by yewslus (View user info) at 2005-07-22 14:58:21 EDT
Inspired by Nitty: http://www.ubersite.com/m/71418
Alright Uberers, it's time to pony up and pay the barter.
What I propose is an EBay auction of monumental proportions, one that will gather together the most sacred Uber artifacts/personal possessions and offer them up for sale to the public. With all of the dedicated users on this site, it should be no problem for us to break, mmmmm, say $30.00? Really now, we could set up an auction where the user and bart would split the profit 50/50. This way nobody has to part with the Benjamins in their pocket.
So let the thongs, dildos, and other assorted Uber-collectible suggestions fly. Offer your soul, or the soul of someone else. Maybe AJ will offer his virginity, or Shlongy will offer his Comp cards. Maybe we could REALLY hit it big and get Kristen's 'dolphin'. If Fetish were still around, I bet we could get the infamous mall camera and auction that as well.
Who knows, maybe if something zany enough was auctioned, it would get the attention of goldenpalace.com, and they would buy it for a gajillion beans.
I ask you to keep this in mind as you ponder the loss of your most beloved/treasured/valuable possessions:
Ask NOT, what your Uber can do for you...
Ask what YOU can do for your bartbart.
-Habeeb "mudda fuckin" Thomas, Phd.
User Reviews
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2005-07-23 14:59:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Shlongy-
Do you have a Grammy from your days as a rock star?
Jay Peg-
I've seen your head. We can sell the hat as a perty tent.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-07-23 00:20:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'll donate an autographed copy of any one of my posts. Maybe even a whole series! Will that be sufficient?
Then again, no one knows who the hell I am. Never mind.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-07-22 21:30:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I've got my "hey, I don't like this person, so let's get him banned" hat.
It's a great hat.
Fitted, though.
So it won't fit anyone...
Nevermind...
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-07-22 20:34:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What do you need from Shlongy? I have a goddamned treasure trove of great stuff to auction off, for a good cause like this.
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2005-07-22 19:16:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry, I thought it was the post sign-off, not the speaker of the quote, 'cos the quote wasn't within quotation marks.
Submitted by Deidra (user info) at 2005-07-22 19:16:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Can we auction off that chick who's NOT AN ALTER!!!! that posted herself in her ginch?
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2005-07-22 16:29:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Learn more about the life partner lemon laws at:
www.lemonparty.org
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-07-22 16:17:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-07-22 16:13:26 (#)
Ranking: 0
Uh......I got an: old lady/life partner/friend I wouldn't mind putting up for bid.
White, a little high mileage<shudder>, good grillwork and fenders(59 Cad style).
Extremely high maintenance required.
as is
where is
NO REFUNDS!
NO RETURNS!
-------------------------
You might want to bring out the old LEMON LAW on this one...
Submitted by Vulva (user info) at 2005-07-22 16:15:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yabba Dabba Dooo! Someone pull the birds tail. It's time for me to slide down the back of the dinosaur and get the fuck outta here...
Bye bitches!
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-07-22 16:13:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Uh......I got an: old lady/life partner/friend I wouldn't mind putting up for bid.
White, a little high mileage<shudder>, good grillwork and fenders(59 Cad style).
Extremely high maintenance required.
as is
where is
NO REFUNDS!
NO RETURNS!
Submitted by Vulva (user info) at 2005-07-22 16:12:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Vulva -
Sorry, your video will not fetch a solitary penny. Everyone's already seen the free version of the removal of your foreskin that is available for download on the web. All people have to do is play that one in reverse and VOILA! Keep trying.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
<hangs head for shame>
"K"
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-07-22 16:10:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Vulva, sounds fair to me
Submitted by Vulva (user info) at 2005-07-22 16:10:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-07-22 15:46:00 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Vulva (user info) at 2005-07-22 15:39:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll have a circumcision reversal surgery, and dontate the video footage! Yes or No?
---------------------------
Throw in the video with your mom, the peanut butter, and your dog trix and the answer is YES
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How abot this: I throw peanut butter IN your mom, and do dog tricks ON her? Deal?
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2005-07-22 16:03:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Read the post.
It is a quote attributed to the great beeb.
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2005-07-22 16:01:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
....why is the post signed by Habeeb?
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-07-22 15:57:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-07-22 15:06:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2005-07-22 15:01:13 (#)
Ranking: -2
STOP BUGGING ME I'M TRYING TO WHACK OFF AND EVERYTIME YOU IM ME THE SCREEN CLOSES
AHHHHHHHHH
-----------
That alone gets a +10
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-07-22 15:55:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2005-07-22 15:47:20 (#)
Ranking: 0
Xcuses -
With the Tour de France finishing up, perhaps we could cross out Parrish and replace it with Armstrong.
You might actually double the value.
----------------------------
yeah, but did you see that fucker take care of biz in the latest bench clearing. Still wouldn't want to have to tangle with that guy
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2005-07-22 15:50:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
As long as the lobster isn't a Boston native, we should have no trouble.
Actually, a New York bidder might be verrrrry interested in determining the fate of said lobster.
Submitted by pantsarestupid (user info) at 2005-07-22 15:49:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll donate the lobster that inspired all of my lobster posts.
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2005-07-22 15:47:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Xcuses -
With the Tour de France finishing up, perhaps we could cross out Parrish and replace it with Armstrong.
You might actually double the value.
Vulva -
Sorry, your video will not fetch a solitary penny. Everyone's already seen the free version of the removal of your foreskin that is available for download on the web. All people have to do is play that one in reverse and VOILA! Keep trying.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2005-07-22 15:46:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Looks more like the mona lisa to me.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-07-22 15:46:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Vulva (user info) at 2005-07-22 15:39:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll have a circumcision reversal surgery, and dontate the video footage! Yes or No?
---------------------------
Throw in the video with your mom, the peanut butter, and your dog trix and the answer is YES
Submitted by Vulva (user info) at 2005-07-22 15:39:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll have a circumcision reversal surgery, and dontate the video footage! Yes or No?
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-07-22 15:39:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I have like 2000 Lance Parrish baseball cards. At $.0005 ea, thats like $2 Mil, but I failed math so I could be a few pennies off
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2005-07-22 15:37:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, Sotheby's has estimated them to be worth $5-7 for the lot.
All you need to do is provide documentation of what posts you typed while they were still on your hands.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-07-22 15:27:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nope.
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2005-07-22 15:25:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Tom, are they painted pretty colors?
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-07-22 15:23:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll donate my fingernail clippings.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2005-07-22 15:19:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Plus FUCKING 2 for the link.
Oh, and I'm in for a dollar.
word
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-07-22 15:06:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2005-07-22 15:01:13 (#)
Ranking: -2
STOP BUGGING ME I'M TRYING TO WHACK OFF AND EVERYTIME YOU IM ME THE SCREEN CLOSES
AHHHHHHHHH
-----------
That alone gets a +10
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2005-07-22 15:02:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Can a review get nominated for B@W?
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2005-07-22 15:01:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
STOP BUGGING ME I'M TRYING TO WHACK OFF AND EVERYTIME YOU IM ME THE SCREEN CLOSES
AHHHHHHHHH