I hurt myself when I drink. How about you? (696 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.05 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by whiskeyjack (View user info) at 2005-07-22 20:11:52 EDT
I've discovered a strange occurence involving me and drinking. I seem to have a habit of doing stupid shit that I know will hurt. I don't do these things cause I enjoy the pain or anything like that. I more do them cause I think it looks badass.
I do some of that simple shit a lot of people do like punch trees, walls, signs, etc. I'll jump off something big occasionally. Though I more often just like to piss off/on big things to feel all superior. Stupid bridge thinks it's so tough. Well who's tough now BITCH?
Anyways, I remember once I was outside the bar having a smoke with a buddy. It was time to go back inside and I was thinking about how some guys look all badass when they put out cigs in their palm. I figured I could do that. I mean hell I was drunk, and everyone know when you drink you become temporarily invincible. So I plunged the smoldering cigarette into my unsuspecting palm. I almost managed to put it out before I felt a sudden burning pain in my hand. I dropped the cig, clutched my hand and started to curse like a trucker. My friend was mildly impressed, though he thought I was a moron. He's just jealous cause I'm all butch with my burnt hand. I had a tiny scar for about a month and I couldn't masturbate for three days. I had some serious withdraw.
Then there have been the several occasions where me and a buddy will sit opposite each other and take turns slapping each other across the face. I have no idea why we do this we just do until we either get bored or start to bruise.
There are also the few times I've knocked myself on thbe head with a beer bottle to see if it would break. I never hit them hard enough though. That is until last night. I was totally trashed and while walking out of the bar with a friend and I saw a empty beer bottle on the ground. Well I told myself this was it. I grabbed it and smashed it over my head. It was awesome. It didn't hurt that much; which was a bit of a let down. I now have a small scratch over my right temple but thats it. And the little bit of bleeding was totally worth it. My friends were both shocked and awed at my show of kickassery. I highly recommend it.
But enough about me. I want to hear if you guys have and good stories about hurting yourself while drunk.
Image from Google when I searched "broken bottle"
User Reviews
Submitted by djhurricane (user info) at 2006-10-24 16:34:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I pulled up this oldie for you. No BS Try taking a few shots of grain alcohol. If you can still stand. Be sure you check out the distillery because it can kill you> Or if you want to be safer 151 Rum And light a match when you blow it out. It's a killer rush. Just don't set anything on fire. If you do that a couple of times at a party you're sure to get laid.
Submitted by Psycosis (user info) at 2006-05-16 01:01:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
You should try this one, I'm sure it will impress your "friends"
Get about 3 safety pins, and have them in the open position, now wrap a small, thin elastic band around each of the safety pins so that there are no sharp protruding points, it should look something along the lines of this:
O\\\\D
Once all 3 safety pins are wrapped, swallow them one by one, pausing in between each for a simple shot of Tequilla.
Submitted by pragmatic (user info) at 2006-05-16 00:18:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I used to wake up covered in bruises, never quite sure how I got them.
Those were the days
Submitted by MisterMojoRisin (user info) at 2006-05-16 00:05:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Kick through drywall, set pretzels on fire. On somebody elses carpet.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-05-15 23:18:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
:-(
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-23 11:14:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
grow the fuck up, guy.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-07-23 11:11:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, you're one of the idiots who roams around when drunk, kicking street signs and headbutting brick walls and bodyslamming parked cars, huh?
Yeah, you guys are so fucking cool I can't stand it.
God I hate being old.
Submitted by krootons (user info) at 2005-07-23 10:41:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You really want to know?
Two hardcore bishes I used to know would cut and burn each other with knives, cigarettes, and razors when they'd get drunk. One carved "I love you" in the other's ass, then the other carved up the first one's legs and put pickles + gin on it.
Sometimes they'd let me play too. I just figured it's dumb as hell when I started waking up with
scars. Still have a few.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-07-23 00:11:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
alcoholic drama = alcoholic trauma
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-07-22 22:19:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
And here I thought it was because you ate all the punch and cake without letting anyone else have any.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-07-22 21:57:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I wake up with bruises in the same shape as fists because I punch myself.
And that's why no one invites me out anymore...
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-07-22 21:04:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I hurt you when I drink too. Emotionally.
Aww baby, I didn't mean it when I called you a slut. Come on baby, I'll be nice to you I promise. Baby, I'm the only one who cares for you, the only one who is here for you. Everybody else is against you. Remember that. Now go get me a beer.