If You're Ever On Neptune... (1538 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: planetseries
Rating: 1.89 on 59 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Steve's House of Pancakes and POUND O' RIBS FRIDAYS! (View user info) at 2005-07-23 03:42:20 EDT
It's been a while since I was out this far. It's cold. It's not like winter, though. If you stand in the shade for too long on a sunny day, you forget what the sun feels like. It's that sort of feeling. You get used to it, but you're still wishing for the sun to warm your shoulders.
I wish I'd brought a thicker coat.
I watched the moons and the rings as I passed them by. I thought about stopping by the ice cream shop on Triton, but it's too cold for ice cream. Maybe they should've thought about that before they built their shop on a frozen moon. They always do things backwards there, anyhow.
The blue clouds parted and let me in. But the familiarity quickly vanished with the last light of the sun.
Things have changed.
I've stayed away too long
What happened to the storm? I left it right there.
Were there so many moons the last time I was here?
The wind whips my face, but the chill that runs down my spine comes from another source. You build a fantasy in your mind about your childhood hide-a-ways. The crawl space under the stairs was never as cavernous as you remember. The space underneath the Christmas tree could fit a million gifts. Now, the branches sag and the ornaments don't shine as bright. But some how, you always knew it was that way.
I forget how to get to Pluto from here. Everything is moved around.
It's like your room when you move away to college.
It's not your room anymore.
It's where your mother sticks boxes and the old stationary bike. You sleep there when you visit, sure, but it's not your bed. It's some one else's life in your old house.
I don't like it here anymore. I'm not saying you shouldn't go. It's a nice place to visit if you remember to bring a thick coat.
If you're ever on Neptune, take a few pictures and buy a couple postcards. Memories distort far too easily.
Their key chains suck, though. Don't buy those. Pieces of shit fall apart when you're only halfway past Jupiter on the way home.
User Reviews
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-06-24 03:06:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate crappy keychains.
Submitted by DBecs (user info) at 2005-09-20 03:40:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I drive a Neptune!
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-07-27 01:30:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks for trying to help out.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-07-25 13:33:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Try nicklas_lidstrom5.at.hotmail.com.
That one works for sure, judging from all the spam I get.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-07-25 06:28:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hmm, I tried to send you an email to that account and it says it couldnt be found....
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-07-25 03:32:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And if it's about the microwave, I decided to keep it despite the fact that it makes everything smell like burnt popcorn.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-07-25 03:29:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yzerfied.at.gmail.com.
My work and telus accounts have my last name in the addie. Can't let that out because then you'd find and force me to forfeit my UM entry...
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-07-25 02:51:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey Steve, whats your email?
Submitted by Captain_Cool (user info) at 2005-07-24 05:09:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great stuff.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-07-23 23:40:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey.....wanna buy a mircrowave?
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-07-23 23:40:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck man. You know that warning on the popcorn bag that says 'Don't leave microwave unattended'?
Listen to that shit man.
Popcorn will ruin your shit.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-07-23 23:38:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-07-23 23:36:34 (#)
Ranking: 0
OH CRAP MY HOUSE IS ON FIRE!
--
Quit trying to bump this onto most heated.
Whore.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-07-23 23:37:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We both had byes into the second round, I dont think either Electro or strwbryfanatic are very good competition. And I was more than happy to beat ELectro but have his post catch on as an Uber pop culture fad.
I'll take all the hits Uber wants to give me! I'll catch you one day Steve!!
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-07-23 23:36:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OH CRAP MY HOUSE IS ON FIRE!
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-07-23 22:35:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Unless I write about fishies.
But whom wrote it, and why?
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-07-23 22:08:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, its going to be a gooder.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-07-23 22:02:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
We also live in the same city.
It's an E-town Showdown.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-07-23 21:58:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait....you two are matched up?! That's going to make my brain go pop because you two are two of my favorites.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-07-23 21:23:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have too many ideas. I can't focus on only one and just write it.
I love our title, though. I'm glad I have too many ideas rather than...none.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-07-23 21:18:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good shit Steve. You scare me for UberMadness. Hows your piece coming?
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-07-23 20:25:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I already have Steve! I did it for your Mars and will do shortly for this. I guess I have to keep bugging Bart.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-07-23 19:30:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submit it on the B@W site. Take a chance.
I just dread when the moment when inspiration for Uranus will strike....
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-07-23 19:24:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Another +2 for Steve. I'm liking these. A lot. I'm still seeing 'animated shorts.'
B@W please!
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2005-07-23 18:04:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I may or may not have read this post.... but +2 because I'm in a fucking awesome mood. Yay good news!
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-07-23 08:05:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
:-)
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-07-23 05:57:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pink Floyd: Still first in space
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-07-23 05:04:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think the best part was that they gave away who he was when he died. I mean they built up the story line so much saying that the masked guy (blue marvel was it?) was and then wasn't owen hart, and then he has to go and die and ruin it all. How irresponsible of him.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-23 04:59:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://homepage.mac.com/knarley/owenhart/owen.html
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-23 04:58:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://homepage.mac.com/knarley/owenhart/owen_hartalone300N.jpg
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-23 04:55:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://homepage.mac.com/knarley/topturnbuckle/PhotoAlbum10.html
2nd row, pic on right.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-07-23 04:48:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dropping down from the rafters was just a bad idea in general, something was bound to happen sooneror later. Glad they don't do it anymore.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-07-23 04:47:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Rub-a-dub-dub...
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-07-23 04:46:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I wasn't watching it, but when I went to check the website for the PPV results, all I saw was this memorial to Owen Hart.
Capes and safety harnesses don't mix.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-07-23 04:45:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Rad wants to know if you wan't company.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-23 04:43:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I WATCHED TAHT RIGHT WHERE OWEN HART DIED
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-07-23 04:43:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm going to go cry in the shower.
You guys are mean.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-07-23 04:42:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for owen heart.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-07-23 04:42:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2ICANE!
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-07-23 04:42:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wrestling kills everything.
Killed Owen Hart, that's for sure.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-23 04:41:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OH NOES WHAT DID I DO?
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-23 04:41:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 wrestling you fag
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-07-23 04:40:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and your wrestling commentary totaly killed this thread.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-07-23 04:26:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dude! Don't steal my moves!
I'll hide brass knuckles in the turn buckle and wait for the right moment to beat your head in. The ref will have his back turned and I'll bust you WIDE OPEN! Then when your down it's time for the Spider-Slam.
AND THE CROWD ERUPTS IN BOOS!
ASS-HOLE! ASS-HOLE!
WOOOOOOOO!
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-07-23 04:20:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You should do a suplex/piledriver combo caleld the spider slam.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-07-23 04:17:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My name is really Spider.
I'm in training to become a professional wrestler.
I'LL DDT ALL YOU MOTHER FUCKERS!
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-07-23 04:13:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll bear this in mind.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-23 04:11:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
needs more skullfucking.
And another thing.
YOu name isn't really Steve, is it?
'I KNEW IT YOU FAKER EFF_EWE
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-07-23 04:08:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Walt Disney, what a racist.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-07-23 04:08:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-07-23 04:04:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to write a thesis paper on that statement now.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-07-23 04:03:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's all about slavery in the United States. Well, Pluto is subserveint and represents black slaves before they were freed, while goofy represents how they were seen once they were freed. Sure they walk and dress like us, and they almost sort of talk like us, but in reality they're not any smarter than they were when they served a master.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-07-23 04:03:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I did the dishes, cleaned the fridge and organized my cupboards but my UberMadness post still hasn't written itself. How fucked up is that?
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-07-23 04:01:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's not wrong.
Every Friday is Pound O' Rib Friday.
There are no specials for Saturday because we're fucking closed on Saturdays. Don't park your fucking car in my parking lot if you're just going to the drug store next door. Fucking drug store assholes using my fucking parking lot. I'll slash your fucking tires if you park there again, twats!
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2005-07-23 04:00:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Steve's House of Pancakes, Where the Syrup is Always Free
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-07-23 04:00:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.talkdisney.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-26419.html
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-07-23 03:59:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This one is far better than mars by the way.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-07-23 03:59:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
By the way, your username is wrong since it's no longer friday.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-07-23 03:58:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If Pluto and Goofy were both dogs, how come Goofy could talk and Pluto couldn't?
Huh? What the fuck is up with that?
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-07-23 03:56:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If You're Ever On Pluto...
Expect Mickey Mouse to start yelling at you for raping his dog.