HIV: Our misunderstood friend (763 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 0.36 on 39 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by mush (View user info) at 2005-07-23 17:10:09 EDT
AIDS is being looked at all wrong. Everyone nowadays is saying "Boo!! HIV and AIDS!!!" That's not nice, and I think that it hurts HIV's feelings. HIV has many wonderful uses that have yet to be put into commercial production. Here are 9 ways that AIDS could be used to benefit society:
1) Car Security Systems: Someone break into your car? Don't have a loud siren or a text message sent to your phone, simply have the car security system spray the theives with a few milliliters of concetrated HIV. That'll teach em.
2) Comedy: People with AIDS get themselves into all kinds of zany situations. I think there should be a sitcom about people with AIDS and the shenanigans they get themselves into on a daily basis.
3) Bouncers: If you were in a bar and a bouncer was wearing a shirt that said: "I have AIDS and I bite" would you fuck with him? I think not.
4) Education: Fail a class? AIDS.
5) Power Generations: People with AIDS sweat a lot. If we put them in a reactor, they could heat up water, thus creating steam which could drive a turbine electric generator.
6) Helping to quit smoking: If someone wants to quit smoking but cant, simply threaten to give them AIDS and all is well.
7) Rape Prevention: If we simply infected everyone with AIDS, rapists would think twice about where they stuck their pieces.
8) Communist Spy Detector: A recent article in Pravada (?) says that 1/4th of Russians are immune to HIV because of two mutant genes. If you infect someone with HIV but they resist the virus, they are probably a russian spy and can be sent to be hanged.
9) Jewelry Makers: People with AIDS make GREAT jewelery!
So the next time you want to 'erradicate' AIDS for all the 'senseless deaths' that occur because of it, think of all the ways AIDS could be helping society out if only we were willing to give it a chance.
User Reviews
Submitted by mush (user info) at 2005-08-01 14:04:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
aww... my first blacked out review: http://www.ubersite.com/m/71517#1475302
i have no memory of typing that.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2005-07-24 23:36:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-07-24 20:52:00 (#)
Ranking: 0
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH
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Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-07-24 20:52:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the great part? I had two chicks all over me last night, telling me that they could turn me straight and even offering a threesome (yeah it was joking, but flirtatious joking. we all knew I wasn't gonna go for it).
And instead I boned the hot former swimteam guy :)
Of course I resort to personal attacks. Your only defense of your point is that "UR GAY SO U MUST BE IN FAVOR OF AIDS RESEARCH OMG" Mine are much more entertaining because they boil down to one utterly hilarious truth.
I could get laid with a goodlooking person of either sex without much work. You'll probably have to pay to lose your virginity. Life is funny that way.
And the reason I resorted to the personal attacks like that is I've heard your exact same argument numerous times when I was an STD educator. "If people just wouldn't have sex, they wouldn't have this problem." Want to know what type of person I heard it from each time?
Usually they were wearing an anime shirt. They had bad skin, a weight problem (either too much or too little) and spent a lot of time talking about computer games. BIG SURPRISE. The people who are bitter about not being able to get laid turn it around in their mind to a personal choice they've made that somehow makes them superior to everyone else. Projection, tres hilarious!
But you're right, lets put all the people with HIV on an island and nuke the island. While we're at it, lets start killing the retarded and crazy! And sterilizing those with genetic impurities!
The reason I resort to personal attacks is you never made a cogent point in the first place aside from ranting and raving about nuking an island full of people with AIDS. That and you couldn't get with a hot girl if you paid, and I just have to call a friend and ask. Now that, I find hilarious :)
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2005-07-24 17:45:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And before you open your mouth again, Zoidberg, I'd like to remind you that you were the one that brought up POLIO. Now was it federally funded scientific research that defeated that, or privately funded research?
My only problem with AIDS research is where the money comes from... if it is privately funded, I could care less. Tax dollars shouldn't go to any research labs for any disease... unless, perhaps, it is a matter of national security (smallpox, anthrax, etc. vaccines)..something that can be used by enemy forces against Americans...that would be reasonable to expect some labs to work for the government.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2005-07-24 14:06:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Case in point: $116 million bucks down the drain... and then the thai people can accuse the USA of using them as guinea pigs: http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2004-01-21-aids-vaccine_x.htm
You going to shift toward the war wasting billions? Well I disagree with that as well. So, you can lay dead that arguement dead in its tracks.
I am going to love the war being a great excuse to fund every fucked up thing in the future... "If the US paid hundreds of billions to Iraq, why can't it give us a measley $2 billion for our bullshit cause."
What will happen if the government cuts AIDS research to $0? Will it stop? Nope. But these companies/labs will be forced to think creatively and use the money they got to make things WORK instead of the bullshit effort above in Thailand.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2005-07-24 13:45:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Zoidberg, you are more of a loser than I originally thought... Your repeated insults of "you can't get laid" is something out of the mouth of a fucking stupid teenager rather than an adult.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/55800 you say "As a overly picky gay man, I'm usually single. "
You obviously have a personal vested interest in AIDS research. That makes your arguement even more worthless. It is like someone from NASA asking for more funds for space research.
Why would I dispute that giving money to AIDS research wouldn't provide some kind of benefit somehow? Of course when you sink billions of dollars into something...something damn well better come of it. I'm saying, it isn't worth it.
But hey, you are an intelligent cock sucker who resorts to typical low-level insults rather than argue a point.
Why didn't you answer me that since they found a cure for polio but not through polio research, why fuckin' spend a god damned dollar on AIDS research if they can easily find a cure through other means (your logic, not mine).
You are full of shit. You are gay, you cry for more money for AIDS reseach while bullshitting the "wonderful advances" made and offer a website that leans strongly to the liberal-left, world-socialist type of thing.
I'm sure you support the U.N.'s bullshit, the Kyoto Treaty and all the other things that you clowns do.
The fact is, you are no better than all the rest of your buddies.
Fact: You are gay, you support AIDS research. That makes you bias and everything you say out of your mouth is worthless because you have motives for supporting this...and it isn't "breast cancer research"...You're a fuckin' fraud.
I have no link to any organization that would benefit either way...other than perhaps the government wouldn't have to tax the shit out of people or drive the nation further into debt to pay for this bullshit brought upon people by themselves.
I really could care less to what you have to say, as I'm sure you'll insult me again for being unable to get laid and discussing classic videogames. How many times do I have to hear this from you?
So I can't walk up to a public restroom and get a blowjob at any time(because I'm not going to accept one from a man)... You're right. I cannot cruise past the local gay park hangout and pick up dudes for gay sex. Yep... You're right again.
you say, I lose? You are a gay who supports AIDS research. Big fucking surprise!
Submitted by fluff (user info) at 2005-07-24 08:56:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by jack0173 (user info) at 2005-07-24 03:54:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Stupid.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-07-24 03:39:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Like I said, I dont have time to look for unbiased evidence. You on the other hand, don't seem to have much of a social life to get in your way. But hey, posts about old video games on a saturday night, way cool man ;)
You were saying there was no point to AIDS research and that not 1 dollar should be spent on it.
I showed you that there were numerous benefits. You, unable to refute this, turned to hyperbole, in which you make it seem I'm imagining a cure for all diseases coming from AIDS research or your delightful little "world peace" insult.
I more then met my burden of proof. Ample evidence of the benefits from AIDS research. You stated however that not one dollar should be spent on research, since it has no benefit except to sexually active people/drug users and the marginal few who get accidental needle pricks, etc. I proved otherwise. Now all you can do is whine about bias.
Dude. You lost. You're a dumbshit, and you couldn't get laid if I shoved a banana down your pants and turned you lose in a monkey house.
You can either A. Admit defeat B. Prove me wrong (and crying "bias! bias!" doesn't count. While it does show AIDS research in a favorable light, that doesn't make the points any less valid) or C. Continue to throw up straw man fallacies and look like the complete douche you are.
At any rate, I gotta get. Drunk people will be over at my house in a few so I must put up the valuables (or rather my parents' valuables).
I wish I knew your first name. I was thinking, it would be cool for you if(when) I get laid tonight, I got him to say your name when he was cumming, so that in some small way, you could lose that pesky virginity ;)
ciao
Submitted by mush (user info) at 2005-07-24 02:11:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by vettesrule88 (user info) at 2005-07-23 22:38:25 (#)
Ranking: 0
.. if everyone was infected with aids
how would that prevent rape, theyd already HAVE aids, so why would it worry them
dumbass
---------------------
OH.
MY.
GOD.
I am... umm... 16 beers deep... and you are still dumber than I. That was the whole point you fucking moron. I hate to sound cliche.... but do yourself (and everyone else) a favor and leave this site forever. Go checkout Fark.com.... dont ever come here again.
Oh man you suck.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2005-07-24 02:01:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And "Oooh they won a Pulitzer!"
Yep..they gave one to Janet Cooke also.
Fuckin' sheep.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2005-07-24 01:53:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Worse yet...that website, thebody, is not a government website like the CDC. Take a look at the articles on there and one can easily figure out what they are about.
It is like me pointing you to a Rush Limbaugh OpEd piece as fact.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2005-07-24 01:41:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ooh. Bring up ubercon (and insult everyone else on the site who has ever been to one or will go)... keep repeating it over and over. I don't care.
The fact that site appears to be a AIDS related research/resource site hardly makes what it says unbiased...As a matter of fact, how many federal dollars are funneled their way?
The fact is, there are more diseases out there and you are an arrogant moron who thinks HIV is the key to solve everything. Can't I shove that back in your face and say, "The key to aids will be found by researching some unrelated disease!" Because to you, that's how cures are found.
So .... why do research on AIDS when the cure will be found researching reproductive medicine! IF babies are born AIDS free from AIDS positive people, wouldn't that entirely not be out of the realm of possibility?
Get lost...when your own argument can be used against you; you're talking out your ass.
But...wait. You have visited the future where a AIDS research has led to world peace. Fuckin' amazing.
Submitted by Slighty_Obnoxious (user info) at 2005-07-24 01:31:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, this brings back memories! Here is my solution to AIDS:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/59618
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-07-24 01:15:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow yeah, fraud happens, imagine that.
Wowza! You even cited sources! None of which directly talk about fraud in AIDS research, except for the last one, where HIV was one of the diseases being studied.
This is the best you could find? What, couldn't find any evidence to support your dumbass "AIDS research does no good" assertion so you throw out a few pointless links hoping I'll just gloss over them and concede the point?
No, I won't. You're a stupid fuck. I only argue subjects I know, and in this I know you're a fucking retard. I wasn't an STD educator and a biology major for nothing.
Lets start simply. Read up on how the cure for polio was found. I'll give you a hint, most of it came from researching a completely unrelated disease.
But actually, you know what? Its saturday and Im going out in a few minutes (yeah its that thing on weekend people who don't go to ubercons like you do) So here.
Completely retard-proof. The benefits of AIDS research. Conveniently placed on the internet within range of a few search terms, something you could have found if you weren't afraid of being proven wrong. Yeah I know its from an AIDS research group. Of course they want to make AIDS research sound favorable, but it doesn't make his points any less valid and unlike you, I have a high probability of getting laid tonight without the use of Rohypnol or a Star Trek convention being in town, so I don't have time to dig through my books. Try "The Coming Plague" its quite a fascinating read and it talks loads about the politics of research and especially side benefits that come from researching cures for all manner of diseases, including AIDS. The author won a Pulitzer in case you want references.
http://www.thebody.com/amfar/pdfs/research_benefits.pdf
Read it, and shut the fuck up :) Ignorant yutz
Submitted by icanusebigwords2 (user info) at 2005-07-23 23:49:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I was reading "In the wake of the plague, the black death and the world it made" by Norman F. Cantor two years ago and it made a very interesting argument concerning the spread/ infectibility of aids. It claimed that the Boubonic plauge had mutated the DNA of those who suffered though it so that they, and their descendents, we immune HIV/AIDs. Interesting concept....soo.....if your great great great great ad infinitum granfather/ grandmother had the plauge and had babies afterwords, you can you participate in a local fuck fest! Have fun!
p.s. Scientists may have found a way to stop the spread of this virus by the means of fulleriens (sp?), another very interesting concept worth researching. (they are named for Buckminister Fuller, the same guy that designed Epcot center dome in Disney World)
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2005-07-23 23:41:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.edcallahan.com/web110/articles/datafraud/cornell.htm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/106186.stm
http://www.ahrp.org/infomail/03/12/05.php
There is so much fraud in medical research, one cannot even fathom how widespread it is. It's all about the Benjamin's.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2005-07-23 23:09:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Zoidberg, what you said is typical rhetoric that comes from AIDS research supporters, not much on actual advances towards those diseases you have mentioned.
Heart disease can be avoided by taking healthy amounts of Vitamin C regularly. So does this have a link to AIDS research?
Cancer ... breast cancer... is fought with chemotherepy which obviously effects the immune system. Does AIDS reseach find a cure for breast cancer? Hell no. Not even close.
It is funny you mentioned all those diseases because they all, individually, kill more americans every year than AIDS does. Yet, funding is not balanced...AIDS gets the most with the fewest victims. And these "victims" did it to themselves on the mostpart.
"researching the immune system" has found no cure for alzheimers, breast cancer, heart disease, etc. It is some lame propaganda being used by AIDS research labs to keep that money rolling in.
Hell, AIDS has all the liberal support (because their gay buddies are dying) while other diseases are being shoved out of the spotlight ...even if they kill many times more Americans than AIDS does.
Why not give the money directly TO breast cancer research? Heart Disease research? etc... Why is AIDS the key for everything? IT ISN'T.
My personal opinion is that the goverment gives away too much money to everyone...ESPECIALLY BULLSHIT AIDS RESEARCH. If there is a need for it, someone will work toward finding a cure. This money game is all about politics and making money, not finding a cure. Suckers...
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-07-23 22:47:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
naw man, the jewelry one was dumb
8) Communist Spy Detector: A recent article in Pravada (?) says that 1/4th of Russians are immune to HIV because of two mutant genes. If you infect someone with HIV but they resist the virus, they are probably a russian spy and can be sent to be hanged.
had a lot of potential though, got a smirk out of me anyway. dirty fucking commies
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-07-23 22:40:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the funny thing is stabby, your rather transparent trolling of spoonfed michael savage radio bits aside, is you make no reference to what the hiv virus and AIDS research has taught us.
Not that I'm saying "Yay AIDS" by any means, but without all this "wasted money" on research and treatment our understanding of the immune system would be probably right about where it was at when this started getting noticed in the 1980's.
Treatment and research of HIV has led to revolutionary new treatments for everything from breast cancer, leukemia and hepatitis to alzheimers and heart disease. Too many to list really. All of these wouldn't have come about without your "tax money"
But hey, I do agree on one point. People who sleep around shouldn't be shocked when they get the hiv or something else. But if I remember you went to an ubercon, so fighting off potential sexual partners probably isn't a worry of yours ;)
Submitted by vettesrule88 (user info) at 2005-07-23 22:38:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
.. if everyone was infected with aids
how would that prevent rape, theyd already HAVE aids, so why would it worry them
dumbass
Submitted by jimthefiend (user info) at 2005-07-23 22:30:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Aids is just evolution in action. Weeding out the non-breeders. People who don't contribute to the gene pool. Know what I mean man? :)
"Aids is from God you hellbound homos" ---Stephen King; IT
Submitted by mush (user info) at 2005-07-23 22:19:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Viciousriffs (user info) at 2005-07-23 18:40:08 (#)
Ranking: 1
I'll give you a +1 for the effort.
But you could have done more with this man, you had a chance at gold... and failed.
Next time, a little more detail. The Jeweler thing? Could have done something with that...
--------------
the truth hurts... i wasted a good opportunity.
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2005-07-23 21:29:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Sick. If it had been handled better, it could have been one of those posts I laugh at then hate myself for doing so.
For shame.
Submitted by spacemanor (user info) at 2005-07-23 21:17:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
a russian spy and can be sent to be hanged.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-07-23 20:59:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What's worse is that every one with HIV/Aids has fucked someone... who fucked someone... who fucked someone... who fucked someone... who fucked someone... who fucked someone... who fucked someone... who fucked someone who fucked a monkey.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2005-07-23 20:10:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
someone...somewhere along the line...
fucked a monkey.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-07-23 20:07:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That'll teach them for having a disease in my country.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-07-23 19:12:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Everyone has AIDS!
AIDS AIDS AIDS.....AIDS!
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2005-07-23 18:51:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
$1 spent by any government toward the battling of aids is $1 too much. Private organizations can contribute all they want to find a cure to cash in on.
The fact is, aids is almost 100% preventable. The instances of incidental contact or blood transfusion causing HIV infection is nearly negligible.
How about this? You do drugs? You get HIV, then AIDS, then you die. Want to have fun fuckin' around with whoever you see? You get HIV, then AIDS, then you die.
"Think of the children!" Well, they have their irresponsible parents (bad DNA anyway) to blame and their lives being lost is on their hands ....not mine or anyone else.
I do not want my tax dollars going to africa so some fuckin' jungle bunny can get HIV medication so he can live longer so he can spread HIV to more people.
FUCK THAT.
Do you want to fix aids, for real? Stop offering money and shit and lets start testing everyone who has aids and send them to AIDS island. Then...nuke it.
Don't like my plan? Well, at least my plan would rid the world of aids. What do you got for an idea? None. How many more generations of people have to die because of these ones?
You can say you don't like my plan all day long, but my plan solves the problem.
Submitted by Viciousriffs (user info) at 2005-07-23 18:40:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'll give you a +1 for the effort.
But you could have done more with this man, you had a chance at gold... and failed.
Next time, a little more detail. The Jeweler thing? Could have done something with that...
Submitted by TheEvilleprechaun (user info) at 2005-07-23 18:32:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh dear, even i found this to be in bad taste...
funny though!
Submitted by Spuds002 (user info) at 2005-07-23 18:10:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
not bad.
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2005-07-23 17:59:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because DAD IS COMING HOME ON TUESDAY!
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-07-23 17:57:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I like tasteless humor but its got to be funny.
this was just dull and uninspired.
But hey! I'm sure you're used to sucking
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-07-23 17:34:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
as i was going to continue, the highest population with the mutated CCR5 gene is England, with rougly 12% of the population.
the highest single town is at 27%
however, to have immunity, both of your parents must have the mutation.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-07-23 17:32:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
actually, that report is false.
the gene, CCR5, has a mutation,delta 32, which actually creates an immunity to the plauge...however, a side effect is that those people are also immune to aids.
http://www.pbs.org/wnet/secrets/case_plague/clues.html
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-07-23 17:25:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Meh.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2005-07-23 17:17:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
could have been better...