I work in a peeler bar. (935 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dumb JobsRating: 0.9 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by B. Nelson <uberbinky.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2003-05-07 07:29:34 EDT
Yep. I work with naked women all day. for those of you who go to strip clubs and enjoy it, don't read any further, I'm about to ruin it for you.
It all started many years ago when I decided that being a DJ was what I wanted to do. I started off in country bars, and that in itself was hellish and fun all at the same time. but that's another post.
In November 1998 i started working at the only club in British Columbia that offered lap dances, now most clubs have them.
anyway, here's some of the things that have happened to me.
Gum Wars. there was a dancer there who'd spit her gum at me while on stage. she thought this was the funniest thing ever, and thought it was even funnier when i'd spit mine back at her. funny until the day she missed seeing mine fly at her and miss, and she layed down in it. now that's funny...especially the look on her face!
Feminine Hygine. i didn't realize that a woman could carry on a normal conversation while looking you in the eye, while at the same time changing her tampon. what's even more surprising is that i didn't think twice about it until i got back into the DJ booth. that's when i realized that my innocence was lost forever.
Jenna Jameson. yep, i worked with her and a few other features (read: Porn Stars). i've worked with Kobe Tai, Raquel Darrian, Jenna, Victoria Paris, and a few others. Jenna, however stands out for two reasons. she was seeing Tommy Lee at the time, and while he was there he hung out in the DJ booth with me for a bit. After standing there for a bit, Tommy turned to me and said "Hi". That was the most intelligent and/or intelligable thing to come out of his mouth. the rest was some barely coherent drug-addled babble. I nodded and smiled. The second thing was when Jenna got done with her stage and came back to the booth, now Tommy-free. She wanders over to me, naked, and grabs my crotch in a firm, yet gentle way...looks me in the eye and says "What!? not even hard?" I had no idea what to say...so i said it anyway, "Sorry...but after a while you just get desensitized."
Pyromania. a fire show is when a girl takes a metal pan of rubbing alcohol and lights it on fire on the stage. there's a cloth underneath it to prevent it from scorching the stage. when the cloth lights on fire and there's a stripper nearby, they tend to make strange high-pitched noises, panic and run offstage. while running screeching peelers in high heels are funny to watch, nothing inspires fear like knowing that the stage is on fire.
there's more stories...maybe i'll add them later...
User Reviews
Submitted by SarGasm (user info) at 2003-05-08 13:23:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
nope...i work at the Paramount...but not for much longer...i just got hired as a DJ for Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines!!!
Submitted by Hardak (user info) at 2003-05-07 15:54:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Your in BC? Where about? I think I know where you work(ed) Is it a Granville?
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2003-05-07 13:19:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jenna Jameson is an Angel
An Angel that does porn
-Turtle
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2003-05-07 11:07:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cool story.
Submitted by oddzandendz (user info) at 2003-05-07 10:58:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sounds like you have a great job. I love naked women, drugged out drummers AND spitting gum.
Submitted by streetpunk (user info) at 2003-05-07 10:12:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If some porn star bitch walked up and grabbed my crotch, I would deck her to the ground and then fuck her in the pooper. Yeah, that's right, that's what I said. Why is everyone looking at me funny?
No, that's pretty crazy. Almost every stripper I have ever met has been a dumb bitch, are there any intelligent ones?
In the words of ICP "Others say their dancing for college, you know that they lying"
Peace,
STREETPUNK
Submitted by EH (user info) at 2003-05-07 09:11:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
so wait, how would that ruin the strip bar scene? I will continue to go to strip bars and get blow jobs for 50 bucks in the back vip room! I will continue to stalk to show girls, and offer them rides home and get paid back in cheap dirty sex! That didn't ruin anything!
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-05-07 08:52:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
very cool.
Submitted by tartpumper (user info) at 2003-05-07 08:26:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You lucky bastard! Why didnt you carry a video camera around with you? You could have made a nice little sum with the tapes you made. 'Unseen footage of Jenna Jameson's twat!!' Plus when your a dirty old man you would have a load of dirty vids to give to your grand kids.
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2003-05-07 07:58:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You know, nudity is the most boring part of human life.
I don't think I could ever be entertained after watching them gyrate like that for so long.
Submitted by KTMRE (user info) at 2003-05-07 07:48:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow, i can't believe that you endured seeing a girl put her tampon in. I am a girl and i couldnt' even stand to look at another female doing that. That's pretty sick dude.
That fire thing sounds pretty cool though...