At Least You Tried (2147 hits)
Category: UberMadness!Rating: 0.39 on 195 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by UberMadness! (View user info) at 2005-07-25 04:10:02 EDT
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This post is officially part of UberMadness!. Click here for more information on the rules and restrictions. |
Entry 1
The year is 2089. Creation breathes a sigh and watches as her most beloved and troublesome son, the paragon of her intelligence experiment retreats back into the sea from whence he came so long ago - chased there by the rising temperatures and radiation in his earth's atmosphere - the cruel consequences of 300 years of unimpeded industry, warfare, and modernity.He was supposed to rule the universe; he was supposed to find the ends of space and time; he was supposed to live forever...but now Creation finds him limping backward into the protective burrow of the sea floor in bubbles of plastic and steel - the holy grail of balance and harmony with his natural environment having eluded him.
74 million miles away on the planet Mars an army of computerized, solar-powered, autonomous vehicles scrape into the polar surface of a rocky planet. They are melting ice into water and setting up cultures of photosynthetic bacteria. To their south, a host of other solar-powered robots artificially breathe in carbon dioxide and expel oxygen into the atmosphere. They are all the remnants of a forgotten dream - one that was supposed to save the human race and every other species of life that shared his planet - but now they serve only as a moving, silent tribute, an everlasting epitaph on the headstone of humanity - ever-vigilant...never changing...always searching for the end of the program...
--
The year is 2091. The last two human beings to ever share a conversation, or shed a tear, or hold a hand, or say, "I love you" take their last breath together just before a small fissure in their sub-oceanic capsule implodes under the weight of 100,000 semi trucks.
The ocean, the earth, and the universe all fall silent.
Creation weeps.
--
Fast-forward 265 million years ...
A small piece of titanium alloy bearing the carved letters "N.A.S.A." lies peeking from the Martian soil as a young humerion female inspects her find with great curiosity. Much has changed on the Martian surface since the robots began terraforming the planet all those eons ago. What once was a noxious, arid wasteland has been transformed into a veritable Eden.
All manner of strange creatures populate this world, all evolved from the few species of bacteria brought to aid in the terraforming, and a few accidental stowaways aboard the robotic rovers. Most are unique to anything that has ever existed anywhere before. The 'tourquadat', for instance, has a sleek, eel-like body with four powerful legs that help it run at high speeds. With an elongated face, he 'sternotet' is a tree-dwelling creature that lives in swampy areas and possesses webbed claws for both climbing trees and swimming underwater in search of food. The 'bagog' lives in the loose soil and sand on the rocky plains and lies dormant in an air-tight cocoon until conditions are favorable to come out and breed. Behaviorally similar to the locust back on earth, the bagog is actually the only survivor from a previous epoch of life on the Martian planet, before this latest wave of evolution.
Still, some animals might have been recognized had humans survived long enough to see them. The 'plixnie' is very similar to the mosquito; the 'anteoclisp' is like a combination between an opossum and an armodillo, and the 'vitnar' bears a striking resemblance to a small tiger, complete with orange stripes.
The humerions are a shorter, leaner version of a human, similar in their features in that they possess four appendages (two arms and two legs), bipedal mobility, opposable thumbs, and large frontal lobes. But one remarkable thing separates the humerions from their predecessors...
The humerion's skin is composed of cells capable of doing something no animal that has ever existed could do until now: convert sunlight into molecular energy. Through the same process of photosynthesis used by plants, their skin can produce enough carbohydrates to sustain the organism indefinitely. As a result of this evolutionary oddity, the humerion's skin is green and rigid in appearance.
Their average lifespan ranges between 80 and 700 years, depending on how they get their nourishment.
Surviving on sunlight as a primary energy source, a humerion can greatly increase his life expectancy. Sometimes, however, when sunlight is scarce, humerions use their digestive organs to process an all-vegetable diet.
Being an intelligent and civilized race, the humerions have become highly advanced technologically. They have independently discovered the scientific method. They have gone into space and have sent probes into its depths. They have reinvented the computer. They even have microwave ovens and air conditioning.
For all their technological advances, the humerions are still a highly religious race. Not only do they refrain from eating animals, they treat them as equals. They believe that animals possess the same ancient force that dwells within them, and they are careful not to offend this force by intentionally destroying any animal, no matter how insignificant.
There are very few cold-blooded creatures on the planet perhaps because the climate is fairly stable year-round.
The humerions are not a warlike society, and they solve their disagreements with constructive debate rather than high velocity, sharp objects...but for all their progressive thinking and gentle ways the humerion's days are still numbered.
Somewhere in the not-too-distant asteroid belt, a collision has just taken place that has catapulted a mountain-sized chunk of mineral and ice toward the Martian planet.
There is no amount of prudence or virtue that will ever guarantee one safety in a cold and unfeeling universe, and on a sunny spring day, the humerions would look up from their perfect utopian world at their beautiful blue Martian sky, see a flaming-red chunk of imminent doom hurdling toward them, and know that this was the end.
The universe once again falls silent and, again, Creation weeps.
58 million miles away, a group of roving vehicles explores a desert-like terrain beneath a thick atmosphere on a planet 3/4 covered in water. Within each vehicle are the seeds and eggs of an entire world - a miniature Noah's Ark.
--
In the nexus of the universe, there are no tears and there is no laughter; there is only an eternal sigh that radiates outward and inward, breathing and blanketing everything it touches in the warmth of one trillion galaxies. Here, the Mother of all Creation looks down as two spirits kneel in front of her - on the left, the Spirit of the Humerion, humble and pure - on the right, the Spirit of Humanity, flawed and passionate.
With eyes full of wisdom and love and a voice overflowing with compassion she begins to speak: "My most beloved children do not fret; do not feel ashamed, for this is a day of rejoicing. All your woes will not have been in vain."
The two spirits look upward in awe to see the radiant face of Creation as she continues to speak.
"Though this be the end of your journey, your legacy will never die. So long as there are intelligent creatures in the universe, the echoes of your existence here will live on inside of them. Every time they see, you will see. When they hear, you will hear.
Every time they gaze upon their own reflection or look outward into an endless sea of stars and wonder, so will you wonder, for the same ancient force that dwells in them also dwells in you. There is no such thing as failure in this world. Everything is as it should be."
She then turns to the Spirit of Humanity and sees his eyes are welling up with tears.
"You cry now because you think you've failed. You think you could have done something to save your race. The truth is, the only thing that could have happened is what DID happen. You tried to survive, but in the end you perished. This is the way of things. Everything must eventually come to an end. One day even this universe will burn out, and all will silent and frozen.
But, it's not the end that matters, it's the journey. And though your lineage has died away, all that matters is that you tried. You survived. If it were not for you, all would have been lost."
Then the Mother of Creation pointed down from her celestial throne toward a planet floating in the loneliness of the void near the edge of the Milky Way, "There, you see? You have not failed. The force that dwells within you both will live on."
The two Spirits turn to see a planet 2/3 covered in water; it is Earth.
Somewhere upon it, a humerion child is opening its eyes to a strange new world.
- VS -
Entry 2
I didn't.Entry 1:
absolutes
Adamdidit2u
alex.lifeson
Anansie
AsshOly
badassmofo
Berty
Bigmike
Bizdorph
blank_mind
BLITZKREIG_BOB
bob
BobLobla
BuckeyesTHEGAME
c1ndy
Circe
comicbookguy
Confuzitron
corn_nugget
Coyote
Crystle
DanielH
darko
Davros
Divinity
doctorj24
dodahdave
DonovanMD
Ejryuu
electrictoothsyndrome
entrophize
ess-arr
Fabit
fudgepacker
FunnyAsCancer
gamma
Genko
Hirilnara
Ignore_the_Small_Print
intellismartness
Interesting_Pseudonym
jack11058
Jack_McCallum
jgreening
JMG114
JohnGalt
JonnyX
kimmy02721
Kre8rix
LadyPlural
loki
m1rl1n
Magicaddict
MANICMOTHER
Merlina
Method
munkeypants
Natsukau
ParlorTrick
peckerhead
pen_name
Pentameter
potatomanjack
rad1101
RandytheHelpfulPineapple
Razor
rushtawin
ruthless
RyuFu
salmonofdoubt
satchel
shark25
Slighty_Obnoxious
Snark
sparkle_pink
SPECIALk
spedmonkey
SpikeGoddess
stevie_says
Stin
SullyThePirate
supadupapupa
thaumaturge
thecaes
ThineJericho
TigerLilly
tlozoot
Unabonger
Viciousriffs
WildcatMcGee
William_Q_Percy
youarsoghey
YouLookLikeINeedADrink
zakalwe
84 eligible votes (94 total) *
Entry 2:
Bellebrown
BillsSBChamps
CaptainThorns
checkyourmail
DonkeyOnTheEdge
Fabish
Flaahgra
FuckTheArmy
gascs
ih8u2man
Impassive-Digressive
IronRhino
joedaddy
justagirl27
Kaelic
Kracka
MichaelJackson
MrSparkle847
nitty34
Norman
notyou
Phallic_Cymbals
polyamorousaj
sg11588
shandythedog
Slovin
thorpe
tuesdaydelay
Wiggles
williamson
25 eligible votes (30 total) *
* Eligible votes are those made by users who had either (A) posted 3+ messages OR (B) written 100+ [lowered from 750+] reviews as of the beginning of the UberMadness! competition.
User Reviews
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2005-07-29 17:28:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dammit.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-07-28 09:00:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
Submitted by Viciousriffs (user info) at 2005-07-28 02:08:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by YouLookLikeINeedADrink (user info) at 2005-07-28 01:00:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by justagirl27 (user info) at 2005-07-27 23:28:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
lol,i'm sorry. number 2 didn't interest me and i cracked up when i saw 2 :)
Submitted by checkyourmail (user info) at 2005-07-27 18:59:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
The fires are coming!
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2005-07-27 17:59:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2005-07-27 17:07:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by notyou (user info) at 2005-07-27 15:55:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hahahahaha
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2005-07-27 14:34:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Decent story
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-07-27 04:31:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2005-07-27 04:18:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah I was thinking the same thing, but I don't disagree with the rules or anything else decided by The Committee.
*Looks up*
You hear that The Committee? I obey everything you say. You are the deciding factor in my life.
*Shakes fist angrily*
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-07-27 03:53:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no, certainly not a forfeit.
but you would have been disqualified for blabbing anyway i suspect - i'm not sure why either given that you can only see what's in here after you've voted.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-07-27 03:15:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I recant my previous statement. This was actually clever.
I just hate this competition.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-07-27 03:08:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I fucking hate you all.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-07-27 02:23:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2005-07-27 01:43:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2005-07-27 00:27:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's what I was thinking the whole time Shandy. It's not a forfeit.
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2005-07-26 23:39:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Plus 2 for the first entry. I just hope you didn't use up too much energy on this one. Good luck in the next round.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-07-26 23:22:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
excuse me, entry 2 is NOT a forfeit
it's a very pithy response to the title
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-07-26 23:20:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
apologies to author 1, i didn't really read yours, but author 2 made me laugh
Submitted by Norman (user info) at 2005-07-26 18:04:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Best ever.
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2005-07-26 17:46:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Rock.
Submitted by gascs (user info) at 2005-07-26 16:55:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Entry #2 may be the best thing I've ever read.
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2005-07-26 16:35:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well...at least the forfeit was the second one, or I might have missed out on #1. It's the kind of stuff that I wonder about pretty often.
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2005-07-26 15:20:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
#2 was funnier.
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-07-26 15:12:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hahahaha
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2005-07-26 15:11:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-07-25 22:29:12 (#)
Ranking: -2
I hate everyone. Or maybe just the morons who sign up and then decide they dont want to write.
FOLLOW THROUGH. Your word is your bond!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This coming from someone who voted for forfeits. Why should anyone bother? This whole UM thing is fucked anyway. I voted for 1, but I can see where Fabish is coming from.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2005-07-26 15:08:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2005-07-25 04:49:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
Like mine didn't stand out c1ndy?
Even if I wrote a real entry it would've stood out, but I bet you 500 dollars you never would've voted for it. You would've said something like "lay off the acid" like every other voter says to my entries. Now you know why I posted while I was drunk. It would've have matttered either way IMO.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I hear you.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2005-07-26 15:02:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by SpikeGoddess (user info) at 2005-07-26 14:57:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Haha, well at least that's a forfeit with a sense of humor.
Submitted by gamma (user info) at 2005-07-26 14:42:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2005-07-26 14:30:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great balls, number 2.
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2005-07-26 14:19:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by shark25 (user info) at 2005-07-26 13:44:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-07-26 13:19:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by kimmy02721 (user info) at 2005-07-26 13:00:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wtf
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-07-26 12:29:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Although I did laugh at entry #2.
Submitted by thaumaturge (user info) at 2005-07-26 11:56:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2005-07-26 11:42:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Didn't exactly like entry one, but... you can figure it out.
Submitted by Ignore_the_Small_Print (user info) at 2005-07-26 11:31:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I know nobody care about my comment but I am compelled to repost it in a way that makes slightly more sense:
I am so tempted to vote for no 2 because it made me smile but i can't justify doing that to no 1 whose effort alone so obviously deserves to win more!
Submitted by Ignore_the_Small_Print (user info) at 2005-07-26 11:08:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
am so tempted 2 vote 4 no 2 because it made me smiles but i can't justify doing that 2 no 2 who so obviously deserves it more!
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2005-07-26 11:04:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
goot
Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2005-07-26 10:59:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2005-07-26 10:35:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-07-26 10:08:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck i meant #1 but i see it doesnt matter.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-07-26 10:07:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-07-26 10:07:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I hated the phrase "Creation weeps" but apart from that this was some decent Sci-Fi.
#2 was witty. Witty and shit.
Submitted by Hirilnara (user info) at 2005-07-26 09:54:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2005-07-26 09:53:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
PLUS FUCKING 2
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2005-07-26 09:43:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2005-07-26 08:10:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
...Obviously not :(
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2005-07-26 08:09:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And the million dollar question: Does innocent pop star Michael Jackson's vote still not count...
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-07-26 05:29:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHA...
I'm sorry entry one... I know you'll still win, but this was fucking hilarious.
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2005-07-26 04:00:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Just a note on the DQ thing-- my experience from UMII last year was that it wasn't left to the competitors whether or not to accept the DQ or not. I was enjoying the hell out of absolutely crushing my first-round opponent but he got DQ'ed for soliciting votes on AIM and it was decided to make an example of him. Obviously this has little or nothing to do with the way things are being run this time, but it's a historical precedent you might wish to be aware of.
Submitted by ParlorTrick (user info) at 2005-07-26 03:51:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cheers to intergalactic hope.
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-07-26 03:21:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
For crying out loud, number 2.
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2005-07-26 02:35:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-07-26 02:16:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-07-25 11:56:36 (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok, Entry two made me smile a little bit, but obviously Entry one was far superior.
I'M 18 TODAY!
----------------------
SHOW US YOUR TITS.
(Sorry couldn't resist)
-Dave
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-07-26 02:11:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Interesting idea.
There was a temptation to vote for entry 2. It fitted the title well.
-Dave
Submitted by Slighty_Obnoxious (user info) at 2005-07-26 02:10:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by IronRhino (user info) at 2005-07-26 01:57:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-07-26 00:48:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I <3 Fabish.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-07-26 00:46:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Har har.
Submitted by ThineJericho (user info) at 2005-07-26 00:06:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-07-26 00:01:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-07-25 23:48:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"just before a small fissure in their sub-oceanic capsule implodes under the weight of 100,000 semi trucks."
Why was their capsule underneath all those semi's??
Just kidding.
Entry 1, I gotta say, I didn't like it. I'm not sure what it was that didn't work for me, but it just...didn't work. I think it sounded more like exposition than storytelling. It's not easy to write an engaging piece when you have no easily identifiable characters, so hats off for you trying to do something challenging and different.
Turns out, you didn't even have to do that much. Oh well, at least your opponent had the decency to post SOMETHING instead of wait for time to run out. If you're gonna forfeit, that's the way to do it.
Submitted by Slovin (user info) at 2005-07-25 23:42:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No personal offense intended, but I was kind of hoping ETS would lose. His name is slightly too long to fit on the bracket line and resizing it would take an hour.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-07-25 23:01:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's too bad, Fabish. Things will get better, I'm sure.
This competition, like this site, is going through growing pains brought on by the clash of old and new members all the time. That's part of the beauty of it really.
A wise man would not put a blanket statement on his future. Things and people change. When and if you're ever ready to play again, at least it'll still be here.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-07-25 22:57:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Danielh: technically you're right, but there is a usage exception for this word in poetical works. The following is copied from dictionary.com.
"Usage Note: The construction from whence has been criticized as redundant since the 18th century. It is true that whence incorporates the sense of from: a remote village, whence little news reached the wider world. But from whence has been used steadily by reputable writers since the 14th century, most notably in the King James Bible: "I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help" (Psalms). Such a respectable precedent makes it difficult to label the construction as incorrect. Still, it may be observed that whence (like thence) is most often used nowadays to impart an archaic or highly formal tone to a passage, and that this effect is probably better realized if the archaic syntax of the wordwithout fromis preserved as well."
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2005-07-25 22:47:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's a noble thing for ETS to not accept the DQ (if and when it gets called), but this was the breaking point for me. I'd hung around this site because of UberMadness but so much shit has been pulled behind-the-scenes and then right in front of our faces that I just couldn't take this thing serious anymore.
I always felt I was obligated to post an Entry because of all of the hard work The Committee goes through setting this up - and also because my opponent deserves the chance to win just as much as he/she deserves to lose.
It's over for me now, though. I don't want to participate in this UberMadness anymore and I don't want to participate in any future UberMadness competitions.
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2005-07-25 22:45:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Entry 1: Instead of: retreats back into the sea from whence he came
It should be: retreats back into the sea whence he came. (Whence means from.)
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-07-25 22:43:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Slovin (user info) at 2005-07-25 22:37:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
The list of votes should be side-by-side in a table instead of one giant list to scroll through every time. It would also help to better visualize who's winning (this post excluded).
Bart?
------------
That's not a bad idea. Probably too late or too much trouble to implement in this UM, but maybe the next one could have that.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-07-25 22:41:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Slovin (user info) at 2005-07-25 22:37:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
The list of votes should be side-by-side in a table instead of one giant list to scroll through every time. It would also help to better visualize who's winning (this post excluded).
Bart?
------------------
Uh, the number down the bottom?
Submitted by Slovin (user info) at 2005-07-25 22:37:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The list of votes should be side-by-side in a table instead of one giant list to scroll through every time. It would also help to better visualize who's winning (this post excluded).
Bart?
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-07-25 22:36:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
As far as I'm concerned, as I stated before, this is not a DQ.
I should have the ability to bypass my right to DQ my opponent. I told him last night I wanted to just let it ride and see how it plays out. It's the only real sportaman thing to do in situations like this. It's really up to uber anyway.
If he wins, more power to him. He just has to promise to take out the winner of Mike and dodahave, and then Razor in the sweet 16. Then it will have been worth it.
By the look of it now, it probably won't happen anyway. But still, this is NO DQ as far as I'm concerned. If nothing else, Fabish should still be able to participate in future UberMadnesses.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-07-25 22:29:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I hate everyone. Or maybe just the morons who sign up and then decide they dont want to write.
FOLLOW THROUGH. Your word is your bond!
Submitted by Slovin (user info) at 2005-07-25 22:28:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2005-07-25 21:28:08 (#)
Ranking: 0
Uh, I hate to say this, but ETS revealed his identity before Fabish was officially DQ'd. (He hasn't been yet) I believe that means they've both earned a DQ.
_______________________
The matchups are publicly known. If one author is revealed, they both are. The DQ goes to the one who caused the revelation.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-07-25 22:22:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2005-07-25 21:28:08 (#)
Ranking: 0
Uh, I hate to say this, but ETS revealed his identity before Fabish was officially DQ'd. (He hasn't been yet) I believe that means they've both earned a DQ.
--------------
How the hell did I reveal MY identity?
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2005-07-25 21:41:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
good work.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-07-25 21:32:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I doubt that's the case genko.
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2005-07-25 21:28:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Uh, I hate to say this, but ETS revealed his identity before Fabish was officially DQ'd. (He hasn't been yet) I believe that means they've both earned a DQ.
Submitted by Interesting_Pseudonym (user info) at 2005-07-25 21:26:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2005-07-25 21:19:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-07-25 21:12:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ah jeez
Submitted by tlozoot (user info) at 2005-07-25 21:06:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hm.
Submitted by rushtawin (user info) at 2005-07-25 21:01:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Divinity (user info) at 2005-07-25 20:57:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by alex.lifeson (user info) at 2005-07-25 20:41:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-07-25 20:37:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed out loud.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2005-07-25 19:44:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well done, entry 1. Very nice imagination and smooth style.
Entry 2... you must have your reasons, but I hope it's not because of all the front-page turmoil that's been happening.
Submitted by absolutes (user info) at 2005-07-25 17:58:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-07-25 17:34:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No worries dude.
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2005-07-25 16:54:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
As long as we're Kosher, here. I didn't take any of it to heart, it just surprised me you retaliated so harshly. I've been away from Ubersite so long I figured EVERYONE had just stopped caring.
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-07-25 16:51:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dude, (and yes you may call me frankly, though I may not answer as I usually go by 'hey asshole'),
I'm just bitter because I got knocked out first round and so I take it out out on people at random.
Pay no attention.
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2005-07-25 16:46:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Just as well, #2, Entry 1 would have had you beat.
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2005-07-25 16:20:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Kre8rix,
Get off that high horse, man. It's all a big joke! Stop taking this site, this contest, these entries, and all of these words so seriously.
Honestly. You're not going to outwit me by using an intelligent response to my "eat shit my friend" one because I just don't care. And frankly (may I call you frankly?) neither does anyone else.
Let's forget any of this ever happened. By "any of this" I mean life. BALK!
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-07-25 16:09:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2005-07-25 13:49:16 (#)
Ranking: 0
Kre8rix,
Eat shit my friend. I've made it farther in THIS UberMadness competition then you'll ever get. I don't even have to use the past UM's to support my claim. I'm just telling you I could shit on a plate, throw a little tinsel over it and still beat whatever you'd put up.
But let's not get too rational here...
====
Wow, you're right. I don't know why I didn't see it before. I had no idea what I was thinking before but clearly it was the 'eat my shit' rationale that proves, not only to me but to the entire world, that you are superior to me in every conceivable way. You are truly a witty and insightful person, and it is definetly the wise choice for me to never question your infallable sense of humor, wit, and/or style again.
Feel free to go back to shitting on plates and decorating it. I'm sure it would be more enjoyable than your entry.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-07-25 16:09:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by RandytheHelpfulPineapple (user info) at 2005-07-25 15:58:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just noticed my name is the longest on the list thus far.
Food for thought
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2005-07-25 15:47:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The only reason post 1 is going to win is because all of the other Ubermadness contestants would have aneurysms thinking about how they would feel if their enormous, crappy novel lost to a two word blip.
Submitted by RandytheHelpfulPineapple (user info) at 2005-07-25 15:47:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
bah, didn't vote
Submitted by RandytheHelpfulPineapple (user info) at 2005-07-25 15:47:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll admit that I scrolled down to look at the length of the two entries to see if I wanted to judge them because I got burned on reading a short novel in the past. Entry 2 got my laugh first, and Entry 1 got me to read it second. Perhaps this will sway my judgements because that quick Zing of a second entry isn't still in my system.
That being said:
Entry 1 was a beautiful, descriptive, insightful, almost inspirational story that fit the title very well. It was just the right length and grabbed me and didn't put me down until it needed to (the end). The end was perfect for the story, and finished up probably the best entry I've seen.
Entry 2 got me. Ok, I laughed. It took some balls, and I wish I could give a vote to it, but entry 1 was really well crafted. Hats off to you though, you have balls the size of church bells.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2005-07-25 15:01:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-07-25 14:28:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by entrophize (user info) at 2005-07-25 13:56:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2005-07-25 13:49:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Kre8rix,
Eat shit my friend. I've made it farther in THIS UberMadness competition then you'll ever get. I don't even have to use the past UM's to support my claim. I'm just telling you I could shit on a plate, throw a little tinsel over it and still beat whatever you'd put up.
But let's not get too rational here...
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-07-25 13:41:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-07-25 13:38:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I like #1, although the thought of 100,000 semi trucks crushing people under water seems a bit ridiculous...
#2...fuck off. I hate that people like you made it through...your last opponent was a forfiet, wasn't it?
Submitted by satchel (user info) at 2005-07-25 13:31:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by dodahdave (user info) at 2005-07-25 13:28:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Forfeit in round 2?!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
For what it's worth, I liked #1 anyway.
Submitted by doctorj24 (user info) at 2005-07-25 13:06:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It would have been funnier if #2 said "Well, #1, at least you tried." I would have voted for that.
#1 was still mediocre writing. Meh is my response.
Submitted by salmonofdoubt (user info) at 2005-07-25 12:36:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2005-07-25 12:17:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why the hell would I turn this into a series?
It wouldn't get good reviews.
No one would read it.
It'd be complete garbage anyway.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-07-25 11:59:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I hope Author #2 turns this into a series!
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-07-25 11:56:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok, Entry two made me smile a little bit, but obviously Entry one was far superior.
I'M 18 TODAY!
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-07-25 11:51:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ahaha, that was classic author 2. but #1 was good.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-07-25 11:46:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Man I was tempted to vote for #2. TEMPTED!
What balls you have, author #2. Problem is, I don't know if this was a cave-in or a clever calculation.
Having said that... #1 actually put some effort into it, so they get my vote.
Some notes, author #1, purely personal. I liked the here/there/here aspect of the tale, but the whole mystical two spirits and mother creation thing not only detracted from the scientific opening, but pretty much seemed like a heaping plate o' corn to me.
I liked a lot of the story, though. Nice effort in a so far mostly flaccid 2nd round.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-07-25 11:12:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Heh.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-07-25 10:45:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is ridiculous. Nice job number two. This is the second round?
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-07-25 10:42:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Not into the sci-fi stuff, but at least author 1 tried...even though I laughed at the second entry.
Submitted by sg11588 (user info) at 2005-07-25 10:40:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#1 is going to win anyway.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-07-25 10:18:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-07-25 10:09:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-07-25 09:55:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
cmon #2.....what's up with that? I WOULD HAVE voted for you, but......cmon man.
Submitted by Flaahgra (user info) at 2005-07-25 09:47:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2005-07-25 09:36:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
voted #1 but #2 did make me giggle like a schoolgirl.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-25 09:36:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-07-25 09:16:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I laughed my ass off at #2. I would have voted for it over some of the posts this round.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-07-25 09:15:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-07-25 09:02:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-07-25 09:01:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow. Entry two, whoever it is, has just won the second round Electro award.
What a fucking flamer.
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2005-07-25 08:50:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by m1rl1n (user info) at 2005-07-25 08:44:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-07-25 08:38:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's always nice to have a decision made easy.
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-07-25 08:36:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
forfeit in round two? christ.
author 1, you must be pissed to have written something so cool and then not have any competition.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-07-25 08:32:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If entry two wins I will kill someone.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-07-25 08:31:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Entry one just may be my favorite post ever.
What a beautiful story. I can;t wait to see who you are.
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2005-07-25 08:25:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-07-25 08:23:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A forfeit in round two? For shame...
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-07-25 08:18:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No comment.
Submitted by Kracka (user info) at 2005-07-25 08:16:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2005-07-25 08:16:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh my God, Entry 2 was so brilliant...but I just can't...If entry one had even remotely sucked...then sure, but...
Oh man.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-07-25 08:11:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No offence entry one, but the shock value of number two kicked me in the nuts. I'm sure you'll win anyway.
Submitted by blank_mind (user info) at 2005-07-25 07:50:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So tempted to vote for entry 2. Entry 1 was great though, one of the few sci-fi ones I've been able to finish.
Submitted by Natsukau (user info) at 2005-07-25 07:14:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you had written even one paragraph you would have gotten my vote
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2005-07-25 06:52:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I really am sorry.
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2005-07-25 06:51:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I... can't... help... it...
I am so sorry, but number two has had me giggling like a fucking idiot for the last 5 minutes, and I don't think its going to stop any time soon.
I didn't really get into number 1...
I am really, really sorry, but I have to vote for number 2.
Submitted by intellismartness (user info) at 2005-07-25 06:47:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Number 2 was an insight of wit, brought about by those who think posting a blank post for the title "blank" would've won. I have to admit, I almost voted for it.
But then I realised number 1 put effort in.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-07-25 06:20:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by supadupapupa (user info) at 2005-07-25 06:16:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
too bad, could have been interesting
Submitted by Magicaddict (user info) at 2005-07-25 06:15:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-07-25 06:14:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-07-25 05:52:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
C1ndy,
To quote the Mother of Creation:
"The only thing that could have happened is what DID happen. You tried to survive, but in the end you perished. This is the way of things. Everything must eventually come to an end. One day even this universe will burn out, and all will silent and frozen."
Kinda belittles losing in Ubermadness for me. :P
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2005-07-25 05:50:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Marky mark.
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-07-25 05:48:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-07-25 05:39:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
hey ETS if you get knocked out by this....
'at least you tried'.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Blimey
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-07-25 05:39:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hey ETS if you get knocked out by this....
'at least you tried'.
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2005-07-25 05:23:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Man, I could do it right now!
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-07-25 05:20:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just make sure that when you're describing them you use the terms 'basketball-sized' and 'tasty' in there somewhere.
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2005-07-25 05:18:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hahhahaa. I'll make sure everyone knows you've got the biggest balls of them all.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-07-25 05:17:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You caught me, I'm just trying to one-up you.
I will NOT be outdone in the 'balls' category!
Losing in UM...fine. Just let me keep the balls. :P
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2005-07-25 05:10:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ETS, now THAT takes balls. If you waive my DQ and I win, then that's just crazy.
I'm not sure if I could let you pull a crazy stunt like that.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-07-25 05:08:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-07-25 05:04:12 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-07-25 04:55:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Dude, you're sweat'n like a whore on payday!
You +2'd yourself?
Whoa daddy!
<sniff sniff>
I smell FEAR!
----------------
What the hell???
I was +2ing my opponent for the clever use of the title, which is severly lacking in UM so far IMO. As for being a sweating whore...well...what can I say...you caught me.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-07-25 05:05:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wouldn't want to lose to it, but I guess that goes to show that ubersite just might not be the place for a competition like this.
I will waive your DQ. Let's just let uber decide. Fuck it.
I am sure I'll regret saying that later seeing as you already have a lead, but oh well...
Let's just see what happens. If people are going to oust me for trying, then I don't want to continue anyway.
Good luck.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-07-25 05:04:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-07-25 04:55:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Dude, you're sweat'n like a whore on payday!
You +2'd yourself?
Whoa daddy!
<sniff sniff>
I smell FEAR!
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2005-07-25 05:03:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2005-07-25 04:59:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not blaming you c1ndy. I was just stating a point. My last few Ubercompetition entrys didn't get much praise, whether I lost or won. I wasn't pointing you out specifically. And ETS, I'll get DQ'ed, unfortunately, now that I realize I could've won if I'd just shut up. And no, no one left me. I just got really drunk and posted something that should've been posted regularly and not under UM.
But you can't tell me that you wouldn't want to advance vs something like this. Seriously. You tried. I didn't. You wrote a story. I wrote a sentence because I was drunk. You win. I lose. You advance, I sit here and wonder what happened in about 17 hours.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-07-25 04:55:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude, did your woman leave you or something? What's with the defeatist attitude? You could have killed my entry! Shit, man, your one line already IS killing it!
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-07-25 04:53:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll usually +2 one word uber posts if they are funny, but Um is different. I actually liked ETS's story, but wouldn't have read it as a normal post because I generally prefer the funny stuff and non fiction rather than earnest SF. I never read anyhting with a number in the title "Battle of the planet (3)" etc. In the last round a lot of people voted for my oponent because he mentioned Tony Danza and the Boondock Saints- if my entry hadn't been so shit I would have been annoyed, hence my vote for the boy that did try, even now I discover it is ETS.
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2005-07-25 04:49:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Like mine didn't stand out c1ndy?
Even if I wrote a real entry it would've stood out, but I bet you 500 dollars you never would've voted for it. You would've said something like "lay off the acid" like every other voter says to my entries. Now you know why I posted while I was drunk. It would've have matttered either way IMO.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-07-25 04:47:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I really liked entry one- it was different enough from the other stuff I have read to make it stand out.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-07-25 04:43:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FuckTheArmy (user info) at 2005-07-25 04:20:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry, entry one is bad science fiction. I LIKE science fiction, but I can't stand it when you get important facts wrong. For instance, stable climates create cold-blooded creatures.
------
I guess what I should have said was the remoteness of the sun's energy would mean that cold-blooded animals would have a tougher time finding ways to heat their bodies to sufficiently speed up their metabolism to hunt, etc.
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2005-07-25 04:41:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My balls are bigger then Illinois state. Bring it.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-07-25 04:40:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-07-25 04:30:42 (#)
Ranking: 0
I REEEALY wanted to vote for ya, #2 - that took amazing fucking balls.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I got basketballs
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2005-07-25 04:38:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That might be true, ETS, but I'd want you to advance either way. Whether I'm drunk or sober, I'd want to you to move onto round 3 regardless if I had given away my stance or not. Besides, if you really think about it - it's not like it's cheating by doing what I did. Sure it's in the rules and I won't argue with them, but how does announcing the contestants here breach anything? People have to vote before they know I replied that way.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-07-25 04:35:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-07-25 04:35:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fabish, it looks like you shouldn't have said anything. Hell, you might beat me with a one liner.
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2005-07-25 04:33:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You mean for me, right Slovin?
Come on. You don't have to be drunk to vote for this. UM III LIVES! AND IT RULES!
Submitted by Slovin (user info) at 2005-07-25 04:33:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hopefully the people who aren't insane insomniac drunks will vote correctly tomorrow.
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2005-07-25 04:31:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Including myself.
I'm an idiot. I admit it.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-07-25 04:30:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I REEEALY wanted to vote for ya, #2 - that took amazing fucking balls.
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2005-07-25 04:30:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Honestly man. I'm completly drunk.
Had I not been. I'd have never done this. Sorry for the lack of competition, but if you lose, then it proves everyone on Uber is an idiot.
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2005-07-25 04:29:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Entry one just didn't hold me, I'm afraid.
Entry two gets points for outright ballsiness.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-07-25 04:28:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm a night owl, and I have Mondays off...
...ok, so I have no life. :(
I can't believe you did this. I was looking forward to facing you.
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2005-07-25 04:26:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah you'd think that wouldn't you ETS. Go to fucking bed. Jesus, it's 3:26 am where I am. Get a fucking life.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-07-25 04:25:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Guess this is an easy vote.
Submitted by FuckTheArmy (user info) at 2005-07-25 04:20:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry, entry one is bad science fiction. I LIKE science fiction, but I can't stand it when you get important facts wrong. For instance, stable climates create cold-blooded creatures.
More so than this, the opposition had a more entertaining outlook on the subject material, and managed to actually keep my attention properly for the duration of the piece.
I am slightly surprised that both of these made round two.
Submitted by Slovin (user info) at 2005-07-25 04:18:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Entry 2 made me laugh out loud for a solid 30 seconds. I had to vote for it.
Here's hoping you win and I have less competition in later rounds!
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2005-07-25 04:17:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fabit,
ETS wrote it. And he won't. He's a dick. Seriously.
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-07-25 04:16:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Amazing, i hope whoever wrote this will develop a series maybe?
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2005-07-25 04:15:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Buh buh buh ubuh buh buh Suck.
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2005-07-25 04:13:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha, 3-0.
Eat shit.
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2005-07-25 04:12:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2005-07-25 04:12:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I was drunk when I wrote this. Ban me. Disqualify me. I'm Entry 2. I'm drunk. Sorry ETS.
Actually, No I'm not.
Rock.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-07-25 04:11:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm so sorry person 1, but person 2 has guts, and it cracked me up.