Crazy to want this (1983 hits)
Category: UberMadness!Rating: 0.17 on 123 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by UberMadness! (View user info) at 2005-07-25 12:30:02 EDT
 |
This post is officially part of UberMadness!. Click here for more information on the rules and restrictions. |
Entry 1
There was a time in my life when I was free. It wasn't the healthiest time in my life; I was under the common teenage spell of instant gratification that would last itself well past the age of maturation. Socialization with a happy fun time peer group was more important than education at that age; we have all been there at one time or another in our lives, and I certainly hope that most of us have outgrown that time.I'd thought I had.
After I abdicated my chosen life path at the university, I continued to assume the role of "the starving artist", or "the anti-social anti-government anarchist reactionary dope smoker". No doubt many of you adults who have finished their growing up have seen this type of lost soul, this idealistic kid whose ideas are going to change the world on a massive scale; the dreamer who knows just how to solve things and make the apparent decline of our civilization reverse itself into a new progressive utopian paradigm. Many of you reading this right now fantasies you fit this mold. You'll learn.
Brave New World, indeed.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
I was in the middle of writing this little snippet from my life when I happened upon this little post: http://www.ubersite.com/m/71561
This, as with all the other drama about this entire competition, has led me to have some very bad feelings about this now hackneyed internet competition.
I'll be honest. I thought it was a good idea to get involved in the entire madness. Taking a randomly assigned title and writing an Überpost based on that title is a brilliant idea, but things have gone badly here in this 3rd Übermadness. From the really bad stories in the first round to the inability for some committee members to enforce the rules of the competition to this entire Razor issue; what happened to the spirit of the law rather than the letter of the law, people. How ignorant do you have to be? How much of a co-dependant enabler do you have to be to refuse to apply the rules that hold this together? When you fail to hold people accountable for their actions you lose the cohesion of the fabric of society.
Who really wants to be a part of this thing, anyway? This is like the typical dysfunctional family who argues over thanksgiving dinner; drinking and cussing and coming to blows over a nice cranberry sauce mixed in the turkey, gravy, and dressing. I mean, why do we do this to each other? Why do we argue and fight and bicker<staff> when each one of us is capable of entertaining everyone else.
That is what we are here to do, isn't it?
So, from a shit-poster who sometimes actually has a story to tell to the rest of you, my Über-audience, I bid you adieu.
I don't expect this post to beat my opponent's. I expect that the other post on this is a very nice story, perhaps a little too EMO for my liking, but hey, beggars cannot be choosers. Undoubtedly there is a good piece of fiction here, while this is not. This is different. This is an Überpost.
But like I said before, this competition is all horseshit now; the prize is nothing tangible; I'd be crazy to want this.
---
(just a little aside to all of you out there who "don't get this". This is sarcasm. This is not fiction. This is a typical Überpost that you would normally +2. This post is brilliant. DO NOT QUESTION MY GENIUS)
- VS -
Entry 2
On the ninth day, John finally gave up. He had spent more than a week wandering the desert, more than a day without water, and more than two days without food. His eyes were rimmed in red, and coated with a fine film of dust. His lips were dry and sore; the skin was chafing away and created sores that burned painfully in the sun and became caked with sand.For eight days John had walked along the sandy landscape, hoping to see something from the top of a drift. For eight days John had thought about how he came to be here, he remembered the helicopter crash more clearly than he remembered his wifes face. He remembered clambering over the bodies of his crew, frantically trying to find cover before someone found him.
He was always thinking of one thing or the other. His past or his future. With each hill he crested, he saw nothing except more sand, and he slowly began to realize that he might not have much of a future to think about.
When evening fell, on the eighth day, John allowed himself to collapse into the sand. He lay back, watching the darkness soak into the sky, and he resigned himself to his fate. His lack of delusion worried him. If he were dying, he'd be losing the ability to think clearly... he worried that he might not be dying. He worried that he might be forced to endure another day with the sun relentlessly soaking each drop of water from his body.
He prayed for his salvation from this earth, from this misery, from this pain. He closed his eyes, and hoped to never be bothered with opening them again.
That wasn't meant to be. Johns eyes slowly opened the next day before sunrise. He saw the familiar golden glow in the sand, and he knew it was morning. And he was alive. As if death were something one could wish upon themselves, John lay there, praying to the God he had never believed in, for the end to come.
If death was going to be an evasive bitch, John would help it along by giving up. This was the exact moment, on that ninth day, that John gave up. Hours passed while he lay there prone, waiting to die. When he heard noises, laughter and talking, a grin sprang to his face, stretching out his chapped lips and causing them to bleed. He didn't mind.
This was it. He was finally delirious. He was finally having visions. He was dying, finally. He watched the horizon, and his vision become more clear. He started seeing people walking along in a caravan. He saw donkeys, carts and wagons. Involuntarily his arm raised in a meager greeting. He tried to yell to them, but his voice came out as a cough. His ethereal vision became more and more real. He could see the color in their linen robes. He could smell the donkeys.
John smiled and closed his eyes, and welcomed death.
That was the end of John.
That led to the beginning of Emjhan.
The first thing Emjhan saw was his nurse. She was rubbing an ointment on his cracked hands, murmuring something sweet sounding. When she looked up to meet his eyes, she smiled and then offered him a sip of water.
It was dark and cool inside the tent. He couldn't understand anything his nurse said, but her words were comforting, and he found himself enjoying her company. For a week he submitted to her comforting mercies. On the ninth day, he decided it was time to see what lay outside the tent.
He pulled back the heavy fabric of the tents door, and stood on the threshold. It felt as if he had opened an oven to inspect a cake; the hot air rushed in and wrapped itself around him as the sun accosted his eyes. His nurse came to stand beside him as he surveyed his surroundings. There were many tents similar to the one he was standing in. Off to the right there was a tent much larger than the rest. The fabric wasn't the same dull brown, but instead it was a blue that seemed to shimmer in the afternoon sun. The nurse gently lay her hand on his shoulder. She began talking and pointing at different things- first the large tent, then a group of donkeys that lay under an awning to their left, then she pointed to a group of men that stood chatting near the southern most border of the ramshackle camp.
He could feel his anger swelling. He had no idea what the woman that stood next to him was saying, he had no frame of reference as to where he was, or who he was with. Frustration, mixed with anger, helplessness and fear made his muscles tense and his stomach churn. He quickly turned to the woman who had spent time lathering ointment on his dry skin, holding cups of water to his chapped lips, and emptying the pot after he relieved himself. He wanted to lash out. He wanted to chastise her for talking to him in a language he obviously didn't understand. He wanted to slap her pretty face and knock her to the ground.
But then his eyes met hers, and not only did he see love in her eyes, he saw every good emotion he had ever known. Her eyes were pools of understanding, patience, forgiveness and trust. His anger immediately dissipated, and when she took his hand in her own, he did not pull away. She led him across the threshold of the tent, and towards the large tent, about 500 feet away.
She pulled the door open, and gestured for him to step inside. There were nine men in various states of relaxation; some were laying fully prone, others were propped up on an elbow, some sat either in chairs, or leaning against various objects in the room. All at once they turned to look at him. He felt his body tense up and his mind went sharp. He was ready to make his exit or fight for his freedom, he didn't know which he would be forced to do.
Then they disarmed him with their slow smiles and welcoming greetings. They all stood up and came near him, shaking his hand and patting his shoulder. He sensed the same inherent goodness in these men, the comfort that he felt with them was akin to the bond he felt with his nurse. Both unbelievable and amazing.
They began patting their chests and saying things. He realized they were introducing themselves, and tried to remember the names they said. After the men were satisfied with their introductions, he followed suit. He placed his hand on his chest and said, "I'm John".
Their blank stares encouraged him to repeat himself, a bit slower and more articulate, "I'm John".
Suddenly the men sprang back to life, more smiles and laughing, and they began trying to say his name.
"Emjhan!" "Emjhan!" they came over to pat his back and a few of the men hugged him.
"No, No... I'm JOHN... John. John!" he was torn between amusement and frustration.
"Emjhan!" they all cheered.
Emjhan spent the next nine months becoming acclimated to their culture. He noticed that they remained optimistic and happy even during the most treacherous of times. They traveled through the desert during the mornings and evenings, stopping to rest during the blackness of night and the oppressing heat of day. Through everything, his nurse stood by his side, though it was no longer out of necessity.
Nine months later she gave birth to their first daughter. By this time Emjhan barely thought of his past life, and when he did, it was always with thankfulness for his newfound freedom and happiness. Living the life of a nomad suited him well, almost as if it were his true fate. His daughter had raven hair and sparkling eyes, her cry sounded like bells and her skin felt like silk.
The men of the tribe were amused that Emjhan insisted on helping his wife carry their daughter. He'd wrap her in a thin blanket, and then wrap the blanket over one shoulder and under the other, so that she lay nestled on his chest. He spoke to her in English along these long journeys, telling her of his past, and speculating on her future. He did this as much for her as he did for himself, it felt oddly liberating to speak in his first language.
On her first birthday his wife told him she was pregnant again. Nine months later she lay in their tent, screaming and pushing, and she had another baby girl. The next nine years were overflowing with happiness and joy. He saw his daughters turn from malleable babies into beautiful girls. His wife constantly surprised him with her talent at motherhood, and her unrelenting ability to overcome.
His children were constantly exploring, on an undying quest to find something spectacular and new. In the mornings, their caravan stopped to lay down their camp, the men unloaded the supplies from the donkeys while the women began preparing the meals, and the children scuttled off to the rocky embankment,
One day, the children found something. Emjhan was erecting the awning for the donkeys when his oldest daughter ran over to him. She gripped his hand and quietly whispered to him in English.
"Daddy, there are men around the bend. They speak like you. They look like you."
He felt the blood rush from his face, his mouth went cottony, and his palms started to sweat. Men like him. His whole world suddenly seemed like an illusion, like he had been playing house for an extended period of time.
"Are they well? Are they lost?" he asked her. Her answer was a simple shrug, and she pulled him away, towards these men.
He couldn't help but smile at the scene that stood around the bend. There were nine men laying in different states of relaxation. Some were laying prone, others propped themselves up on an elbow, some leaned with their backs against the tires of their green Jeeps. They were surrounded by the children of the tribe, everyone was talking at once. The men were offering sweets to the kids, and the kids were having fun poking at the mens strange looking clothes and vehicles.
All at once they turned to look at him. The children has joy on their faces, which turned to excitement, they wanted to share their find with him. The men had blank looks that turned to surprise, and then cycled into concern.
"Do you speak english?" one of them asked him.
"Yes."
They all stood up and came near him. They asked him a barrage of questions, sometimes taking turns talking, other times they all talked at once. He invited them over to camp, so they could talk in the comfort of a tent instead of standing in the burning sun.
He took them to the blue tent, offered them water and bread, and sat them down to explain his situation. It took longer than it should have for him to tell his story. The men kept interrupting and asking irrelevant questions about the women and the food. They wanted to know why these people chose the nomadic lifestyle, they wanted answers to questions that were unanswerable. By the time he told his tale, the meal was ready. His wife came in, trailed closely by his daughters, and gave each of the men a small portion of food.
The men stayed for the day, enjoying the tales of the desert, and finding relief in the shade of the tent. At nightfall they began packing up their Jeeps. One man came to him and asked where they should leave the rucksacks that they were leaving behind.
"Why are you leaving them behind?" he asked.
"We don't have much room, of course we hadn't anticipated finding you here, so we have to leave a few bags behind for you to fit."
"No, I'm not going back." The men all turned to look at him in unison. Some had smart grins on their faces, others look concerned, but most looked dumbfounded.
"You have to go back. You're American... you're MIA right now."
"No. I'm not going back."
This argument went on for far too long, but the men finally relented, and turned to leave without him. The same man that had asked him about leaving bags behind stopped short, turned to look at the barren surroundings, the braying donkeys, and the tents peppering the area. He used a dirty cloth to wipe the sweat from his brow, and turned to give him one last look, "You must be crazy to want this, John."
He smiled and shook his head, "I haven't been John for a long time".
Entry 1:
Axolotl
badassmofo
blank_mind
CaptainThorns
Coyote
d_prime
darko
DarthFaded
gamma
indoninja
Magicaddict
MANICMOTHER
Merlina
Method
Natsukau
SPECIALk
ThineJericho
Val
Wiggles
18 eligible votes (19 total) *
Entry 2:
absolutes
Adamdidit2u
AshyLarry
AwesomeJohnson
b_badger
baking_Lady
Bellebrown
Berty
Bigmike
BillsSBChamps
BLITZKREIG_BOB
bob
BobLobla
BuckeyesTHEGAME
c1ndy
Circe
comicbookguy
Confuzitron
corn_nugget
Crystle
Davros
doctorj24
dodahdave
DonkeyOnTheEdge
DonovanMD
downerSTAIN
engine13
ess-arr
Fabish
fudgepacker
FunnyAsCancer
Hirilnara
i_walk_alone
intellismartness
Interesting_Pseudonym
jack11058
Jack_McCallum
jgreening
JMG114
joedaddy
JonnyX
JSPANGLER
justagirl27
kimmy02721
Kre8rix
loki
munkeypants
NumLock
OnEdge
ParlorTrick
Pentameter
polyamorousaj
potatomanjack
rad1101
ruthless
RyuFu
salmonofdoubt
satchel
Saxon
sg11588
Slighty_Obnoxious
Slovin
Snark
spedmonkey
stevie_says
Stin
supadupapupa
thaumaturge
thecaes
thorpe
tlozoot
Viciousriffs
WildcatMcGee
William_Q_Percy
youarsoghey
zakalwe
67 eligible votes (76 total) *
* Eligible votes are those made by users who had either (A) posted 3+ messages OR (B) written 100+ [lowered from 750+] reviews as of the beginning of the UberMadness! competition.
User Reviews
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-10-04 05:29:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-07-25 12:51:39 (#)
Ranking: -2
oh for fucks sake
------------
OH FUCK OFF
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-30 01:20:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
<imatrickster>
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-30 01:20:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
whom is he talking to, and why?
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-07-29 21:48:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Joedaddy, what are you talking about, and to whom are you talking?
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-07-29 12:58:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Even though I voted for, and thought this one of the best stories(arguably #1) in the
competition, I owe you an apology.
Two in fact.
I apologize.
I apologize.
<Fme>*
*Not....a request.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-29 03:34:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I appreciate that.
I knew you were looking at the filenames.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-07-29 03:25:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
rad, I only voted for you cause you said please.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-29 03:20:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry about the lack of competition on this one.
I was tapped.
So I got intoxicated and posted whatever came to mind.
BUT I DID A BETTER JOB WITH THE TITLE THAN YOU HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
i need a life.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-07-28 22:44:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
almost everyone whos name begins with "M" voted for you. Munkey was the only M that I got.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-28 16:35:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I cant wait.
I better get an electro award for this
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2005-07-28 11:43:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I must admit, Entry 1 was the most original use of a title I've seen. I would have actually voted for it if it didn't point out that it was a regular Uberpost. I got that much on my own.
Entry 2 was ok.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-07-28 09:18:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-07-28 09:01:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I liked Entry 1 too.
Submitted by b_badger (user info) at 2005-07-28 05:18:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by intellismartness (user info) at 2005-07-28 04:54:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The end of 1 may have been ironic, but number 2 tried harder.
Submitted by Viciousriffs (user info) at 2005-07-28 01:39:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2005-07-28 00:14:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
OH NO, TEH UBRAMADNESS IS RUINED! WHAT R WE GOING 2 DO?!!!????? CLICK CLICK BOOM SPLAT
Submitted by justagirl27 (user info) at 2005-07-27 23:53:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-27 18:27:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
bitch
Submitted by tlozoot (user info) at 2005-07-27 13:40:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Alright.
Submitted by gamma (user info) at 2005-07-27 09:29:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by blank_mind (user info) at 2005-07-27 08:26:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by baking_Lady (user info) at 2005-07-27 08:10:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Hirilnara (user info) at 2005-07-27 04:13:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-07-27 02:06:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2005-07-27 01:56:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2005-07-26 19:24:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hip hip
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-07-26 18:21:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2005-07-26 17:14:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by thaumaturge (user info) at 2005-07-26 15:07:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2005-07-26 13:59:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I had already made up my mind before I read number 2, but the fact that it was a good story made me comfortable with my decision.
Author 1, do you think that you are saying something that has not already been said 100 times before? Fuck off, I dont have time for your shit.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-07-26 13:14:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-07-26 02:23:48 (#)
Ranking: 0
even over "I didn't" ? I think it'll be close.
------------
I agree is DEFINATLY the Elctro award this time around.
Submitted by kimmy02721 (user info) at 2005-07-26 12:59:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-07-26 12:50:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by ParlorTrick (user info) at 2005-07-26 12:47:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Slighty_Obnoxious (user info) at 2005-07-26 12:24:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by ThineJericho (user info) at 2005-07-26 11:21:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
* #1. Damn.
Submitted by ThineJericho (user info) at 2005-07-26 11:20:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
:nods:
Agreed with #2.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2005-07-26 11:18:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-07-26 09:26:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#1 bitch, bitch, bitch
#2 What was the significance of the recurring 9's?
Submitted by sg11588 (user info) at 2005-07-26 08:59:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Natsukau (user info) at 2005-07-26 07:26:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Magicaddict (user info) at 2005-07-26 06:05:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The first time I rate before reading both posts and oh, the foolishness I now feel having done so.
Author #2, I wholeheartedly apologise.
Submitted by Magicaddict (user info) at 2005-07-26 05:58:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2005-07-26 05:00:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I like the sentiments of Poster 1 though.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-07-26 03:25:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-07-26 03:20:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-07-26 03:04:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
#2, I believe you may have just rewritten Dances With Wolves. You were saved because I could not bring myself to vote for #1 - as much as I can see their point.
Submitted by supadupapupa (user info) at 2005-07-26 02:27:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
while number 1 may have small shreds of truth in it it doesn't exempt from the responsibility to write something that entertains me.
well done entry 2
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-07-26 02:23:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
even over "I didn't" ? I think it'll be close.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-26 02:16:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
8-47 holy crap for crap/
this has to be an electro award
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-07-26 02:07:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-07-25 23:53:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't even have to read #2.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-07-25 23:14:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, and I meant to ask...what's the deal with the number "9"? Explain this to me later when this is wrapped up.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-07-25 23:11:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Holy Jesus. I am so sick of people bitching about Ubermadness. What the fuck does everyone expect, a pristine mechanism of justice and fairness? It will never happen. UM will NEVER be perfect because it is run by people and people suck balls. Just go in, write your shit, hope for the best. When did this become a forum for people who like to complain about equality instead of a forum FOR PEOPLE WHO WANT TO WRITE STORIES??
I swear.
Anyway. Entry 2 was excellent. Good use of the title, very creative. I liked the details and the whole concept of trading in a 'good' life for something that seems inferior on the surface, but makes you happier regardless.
Submitted by i_walk_alone (user info) at 2005-07-25 22:00:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-07-25 21:44:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-25 21:07:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-07-25 20:51:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Interesting_Pseudonym (user info) at 2005-07-25 20:44:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by salmonofdoubt (user info) at 2005-07-25 20:29:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-07-25 20:25:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The sentiment of entry 1 wasnt lost on me but entry two was just a briliant peice and a fun pleasant story to read. Bravo!
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-07-25 20:16:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Whew. Good to see other people voting for Entry 2.
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-07-25 20:11:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey, why the fuck not?
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-25 19:59:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
cunt.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-07-25 19:26:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This!!!!! is what it's all about.
<inou>
Submitted by dodahdave (user info) at 2005-07-25 19:07:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by downerSTAIN (user info) at 2005-07-25 18:57:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-07-25 18:17:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-07-25 18:08:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Who gets the electro award, this one of the "I didn't." ??
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2005-07-25 17:39:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2005-07-25 17:27:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
atn;jgopid gdfh jnudc
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2005-07-25 16:59:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Damn pussy entry 1. Ubermadness is Ubermadness. If it bores you at any time, you were never meant to compete (and win) in it.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-07-25 16:34:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
wow, Author #1, way to SUCK! Instead of just writing a story, you chose to be a whiny emo fuck. I didn't think it possible to get 1 cubic foot of sand in one's vagina, but you fit it all in, congratulations!
I'm glad you quit, seriously, less losers like you mean more people will read my posts.
#2, you wrote a good story that would have won anyways, given the small amount that #1 wrote. Good Job!
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-25 16:20:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2005-07-25 15:50:23 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-25 12:48:13 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-07-25 12:40:27 (#)
Ranking: 0
Even if #1 was an actual decent story, I'd choose #2.
Now damnit Youarsoghey, POST ALREADY!
----------
I HEREBY CALL FOR THE DISQUALIFICATION OF JGREENING BECAUSE HE HAS REVEALED THAT NONE OF THE ROUND TWO POSTS UP ARE HIS.
---
Fuck off.
-------------
MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
SHAMONE
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2005-07-25 16:18:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Considering I did something vaguely similar with my post (although very different in style and approach), it would be hypocritical of me to vote against Entry 1. The only other thing I'd mention is that if you're going to blow yourself up, you should at least have fun with it.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-07-25 16:15:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-07-25 16:02:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2005-07-25 16:01:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2005-07-25 15:50:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-25 12:48:13 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-07-25 12:40:27 (#)
Ranking: 0
Even if #1 was an actual decent story, I'd choose #2.
Now damnit Youarsoghey, POST ALREADY!
----------
I HEREBY CALL FOR THE DISQUALIFICATION OF JGREENING BECAUSE HE HAS REVEALED THAT NONE OF THE ROUND TWO POSTS UP ARE HIS.
---
Fuck off.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-07-25 15:49:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Entry #1 was pure awesomeness, and I read #2 just for fucks sakes.
It turned out to be really good.
Circle gets the square
Submitted by OnEdge (user info) at 2005-07-25 15:48:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2005-07-25 15:48:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wah, wah, wah!
Submitted by absolutes (user info) at 2005-07-25 15:43:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2005-07-25 15:32:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by DarthFaded (user info) at 2005-07-25 15:30:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-07-25 15:22:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HAHAHAHAHAHHA
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-07-25 15:14:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by engine13 (user info) at 2005-07-25 15:04:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by JSPANGLER (user info) at 2005-07-25 15:02:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by doctorj24 (user info) at 2005-07-25 14:53:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Most definitely #2, great writing.
#1 did use the title, but with a rant? I guess it was relevant. If I was purely objective, #2 wins. I'll leave it at that.
Submitted by satchel (user info) at 2005-07-25 14:50:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, that was good.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-07-25 14:47:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck you Author #1, you douchebag. From what story there is available in your submission it looks like a snooze anyway. Author #2 reamed you and walked away smiling. Go cry to your momma, you milquetoast!
Author #2, VERY well, done, even though I think this particular John should have been shot as a traitor. It IS based on the real guy, right? Anyhow, that was a good read.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-07-25 14:21:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-07-25 14:11:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Creativity and you did say please.
Submitted by AshyLarry (user info) at 2005-07-25 14:08:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-07-25 13:50:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How could I disagree with this?
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=112231312943779774#1477695
Submitted by NumLock (user info) at 2005-07-25 13:50:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2005-07-25 13:31:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2005-07-25 13:31:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Entry 1 sucked more then my Round Two Entry. And mine was two words.
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2005-07-25 13:29:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Slovin (user info) at 2005-07-25 13:26:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This:
"what happened to the spirit of the law rather than the letter of the law, people."
Directly conflicts with this:
"How much of a co-dependant enabler do you have to be to refuse to apply the rules that hold this together?"
The committee is going by the spirit of the law, INSTEAD of the letter of it, you halfwit. This is because they have taken the rules and applied their own interpretation in the spirit of a better contest.
If you have such a problem with a person we said would decide things like this, deciding things like this, then you can fuck off, you pompous windbag. People like YOU are the whiners we're all complaining about.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-07-25 13:19:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I GET it, but that doesn't mean I LIKE it. I didn't even read Entry 2, but I voted for it anyway.
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-07-25 13:16:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-07-25 13:06:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
fuck you, author 1.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-07-25 13:06:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I didn't even read number two.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-07-25 13:02:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sometimes I fucking love being wrong.
Thanks for surprising me, everyone.
Submitted by Slovin (user info) at 2005-07-25 13:00:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, if you hate the competition, don't expect to be voted into the next round. Even if you're right.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-07-25 13:00:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I refuse to do what I'm quite sure a few other people have done, and vote for entry 1, raving about how right the author is, blah blah.
Entry 2 took effort, so it gets my vote.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-07-25 12:59:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-07-25 12:54:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-07-25 12:51:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
oh for fucks sake
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-07-25 12:50:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i love the ballsiness of entry 1, and entry 2 was too obsessed with the number 9 for my tastes. but i can't in good conscience vote for 1, although i agree with some of the principles expressed therein.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-25 12:48:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-07-25 12:40:27 (#)
Ranking: 0
Even if #1 was an actual decent story, I'd choose #2.
Now damnit Youarsoghey, POST ALREADY!
----------
I HEREBY CALL FOR THE DISQUALIFICATION OF JGREENING BECAUSE HE HAS REVEALED THAT NONE OF THE ROUND TWO POSTS UP ARE HIS.
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2005-07-25 12:47:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I actually had trouble voting on this one. Yes, I'm that stupid.
Then I realized, that post #1 wasn't an entry, and it all became easy.
That said, welcome to the most heated, and welcome to disillusionment for the rest of Uber.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-07-25 12:46:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Entry two had some over the top emotion and a cliched ending, but when I see what it was up against, it looks like a Van Gogh.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-07-25 12:46:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is AJ, isn't it.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-07-25 12:44:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2005-07-25 12:43:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-07-25 12:40:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Even if #1 was an actual decent story, I'd choose #2.
Now damnit Youarsoghey, POST ALREADY!
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-07-25 12:39:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Voting for entry 2 has left me with a disturbed feeling in my gut. The whole story grated against my very soul, everything was wrong and made my head ring like a bell.
I can't vote for that pretentious forfeit though.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-25 12:38:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Good job thar
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2005-07-25 12:35:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment