I Have No Words for This (1293 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.28 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by fudgepacknuts (View user info) at 2005-07-26 13:20:00 EDT
Every once in a while, you come upon a story so unbelievable that you just HAVE to share it with others. This is one of those occasions. And I'd like to first apologize for the lack of an original story, and you might have even read this,but for those who have not, I think you will all appreciate this.
While searching through craigslist today, I happened upon this gem:
http://newjersey.craigslist.org/mis/85637941.html
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to the woman who thought her baby had crapped at express - 23
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Reply to: anon-85637941.at.craigslist.org
Date: 2005-07-20, 1:35AM EDT
We were in line, ready to make our purchases. You were talking on your cell and your adorable baby was in his stroller. My mom dropped one of her all-too-familiar highly offensive deathbomb examples of gasious emmissions. You promptly ended the call, citing the need to go change your baby. My apologies. For losing your place in line. For arriving at the changing station only to find a clean diaper. For my inability to speak up and turn my mother in. She had run out of Beano that morning.
You're not the first mother of a child who has mistaken my mother's obscene farts as those belonging to her child. There was a time at the Shop-Rite where we overheard a mother SCOLDING her child. He was probably about five. Again, I could not bring myself to humiliate my mom like that. I let you and that poor child suffer as a result. Sorry.
I'll make sure she's stocked up with beano the next time I'm home for a vacation.
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God how I love New Jersey.
User Reviews
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2005-11-28 13:31:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Real men floss with spirit and chew souls!
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-08-01 12:39:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Heh. E-mail me when you have a chance.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2005-07-26 17:25:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-07-26 13:29:20 (#)
Ranking: 0
I just realised that for the last month I have been driving home on the A38 distressway in the oncoming lane.
How am I not dead? How have I managed to go this long without slamming into a car? WTF?
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YOU WAHT?????????????
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-07-26 16:05:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Uh huhuhuhuhuhuh
You said, "poop."
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-07-26 14:35:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Poop.
There is a word.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-07-26 14:05:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Near me:
plucking near Paul Brown - m4w - 23
You were performing eyebrow maintenance in your car while at a red light. I too have large eyebrows that occasionally receive grooming. Maybe we can get together and discuss technique?
Btw, that last one looked like it hurt.
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2005-07-26 14:01:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
beauty
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-07-26 13:55:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-07-26 13:48:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OH god that's funny...
Granny-gas is horrid.
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2005-07-26 13:42:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hehehe
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-07-26 13:41:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
that poor 5 yr old is gonna be traumatized forever now..
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2005-07-26 13:32:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mmm...incapacitating.
-- Homer Simpson
The Springfield Connection
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-07-26 13:30:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
eewww!
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-07-26 13:29:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I just realised that for the last month I have been driving home on the A38 distressway in the oncoming lane.
How am I not dead? How have I managed to go this long without slamming into a car? WTF?
Submitted by krissi (user info) at 2005-07-26 13:27:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It made me smile, but at the same time remember how much I loathe my state. I'm ready to leave.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-07-26 13:27:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha! Craig's list sometimes has gems doesn't it?
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-07-26 13:23:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
he probably does.
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-07-26 13:23:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry man. Just doesn't seem very funny to me. Poop stories. Meh.