Meg Griffin: Sperm Dumpster (7142 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.88 on 29 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by checkyourmail (View user info) at 2005-07-26 18:15:12 EDT
For your amusement: a few of my favorite Family Guy quotes
Lois: Oh, what about this, Meg? A pink baby-tee that says "Little Slut." That seems pretty hip.
Meg: I don't know if that's really me, Mom.
Lois: Well, they've got one that says "Porn Star" and another that says "Sperm Dumpster." And they're all written in glitter.
Meg: All right, all right. Give me "Sperm Dumpster."
Lois: That's the spirit!
Stewie: [speaking to a Latina maid] So which of the Latin countries are you from: the one with the civil war, the one with the cocaine, or the one with the fancy hats?
Peter: So uhh, Mr. Pewterschmidt, the big race is tomorrow eh? Bet you're gonna need some strapping men to help you with your boat.
Mr. Pewterschmidt: Are you calling me gay?
Peter: No. No. I just; I just thought you might want some extra seamen on your poopdeck.
Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'
Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.
Peter: Excuse me, is your refrigerator running?
Because if it is, it probably runs like you - very homosexually.
Stewie: Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch.
Peter: I'll handle it, Lois. I read a book about this sort of thing once.
Brian: Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn't nothing?
Peter: Oh yeah.
Stewie (to one of the prostitutes at Cleveland's house): So, is there any tread left on the tires? Or at this point would it be like
throwing a hot dog down a hallway?
Meg: Mom guess what! I made the Flag Girl squad
Stewie: Flag Girl? Ummmm, yes good for you... Now you can be somewhere else when the boys don't call!
Dennis Miller: I don't wanna go on a RANT here but America's foreign policy makes about as much sense as Beowolf having sex with Robert Fulton at the first Battle of Antetum. I mean when a neo-conservative defenstrates it's like Raskalnakov filibuster dioxymonohydrostinate.
Peter: What the hell does RANT mean?
Tom Tucker: And now time for Ollie Williams with the Black-U-Weather Forecast. Ollie?
Ollie: It gon rain.
Tom Tucker: Thanks, Ollie.
Stewie: Hey, mother, I come bearing a gift. I'll give you a hint. It's in my diaper and it's not a toaster.
Stewie: I was under the impression the name of the show was "Kids Say the Darndest Things," not "Old Black Comedians Never Shut the Hell Up."
Lois: You're drunk again.
Peter: No, I'm just exhausted 'cause I've been up all night drinking.
Lois: I guarantee you a man made that commercial.
Peter: Of course a man made it. It's a commercial Lois, not a delicious thanksgiving dinner.
Olivia: You are the weakest link, goodbye. (laughter)
Stewie: Ha ha ha! Oh gosh that's funny! That's really funny! Do you write your own material? Do you? Because that is so fresh. You are the weakest link goodbye. You know, I've, I've never heard anyone make that joke before. Hmm. You're the first. I've never heard anyone reference, reference that outside the program before. Because that's what she says on the show right? Isn't it? You are the weakest link goodbye. And, and yet you've taken that and used it out of context to insult me in this everyday situation. God what a clever, smart girl you must be, to come up with a joke like that all by yourself. That's so fresh too. Any, any Titanic jokes you want to throw at me too as long as we're hitting these phenomena at the height of their popularity. God you're so funny!
User Reviews
Submitted by doctorj24 (user info) at 2005-07-27 23:22:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Duuuuuude, Family Guy rocks. All these fronters are just jealous that they couldn't talk in an accent and make up plans to kill their mother like Stewie.
Submitted by NotSteve (user info) at 2005-07-27 09:08:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You forgot the funniest one:
Quagmire: Meg, 21 yet?
Meg: No.
Quagmire: Chris, how it goin' buddy?
Chris: Well, I haven't been doing...
Quagmire: AllllRiiiiiight!!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-07-27 07:54:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This fucking blew.
Submitted by checkyourmail (user info) at 2005-07-27 02:47:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
laffle
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-07-27 02:41:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-07-27 00:04:59 (#)
Ranking: -2
Family Guy kicks all sorts of ass. Copying your favorite parts of it to share with your Internet buddies really doesn't.
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-07-27 02:28:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ATHF SLAYS FAMILY GUY
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-07-27 00:04:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Family Guy kicks all sorts of ass. Copying your favorite parts of it to share with your Internet buddies really doesn't.
Submitted by doctorj24 (user info) at 2005-07-26 23:46:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HEAT! Oh..
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2005-07-26 23:26:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-07-26 21:41:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Boooooooooooo
Anybody who likes Family Guy enough already has the episodes on DVD.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-07-26 20:27:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was only going to give you +1 since you weren't the creator of the Family Guy, but I do love that show so what the hell.
and I'm fucked up
Submitted by downerSTAIN (user info) at 2005-07-26 20:18:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Um...'false' should be 'negative'.
Maybe I do have teh AIDZ.
Submitted by downerSTAIN (user info) at 2005-07-26 20:03:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Anyone seen the movie leaked on the internet?
"Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story"
It's freakin' sweet. It's like a 90 minute orgasm, after you just shot up the best heroin in the world, and got the news that the AIDS test was false after Glen called you and told you he was infected...
...I mean...it's great.
Hey, look, it's a really fat guy in glasses!
Submitted by SkinnyKenny (user info) at 2005-07-26 19:39:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What was the line where Stewie is trying to gross Brian out, and Brian says something like "Kid, your talking to a guy who wipes his ass with his tongue." or something like that.
Family Guy rules!
Submitted by Freakmagnet (user info) at 2005-07-26 19:13:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
God I love that show.
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2005-07-26 19:00:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
[Quagmire sees a cheerleader tied up in a bathroom stall]
Quagmire: Dear diary: Jackpot.
Submitted by doctorj24 (user info) at 2005-07-26 19:00:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Family Guy = auto +2
I can't wait to catch up later. FAMILY GUY IS THE FUNNIEST SHOW EVAR!
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-07-26 18:56:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For the title/\
How about:
Thermometer in the mouth?
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-07-26 18:42:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'
Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.
______________________
Another good quote from a commercial on Adult Swim:
Stewie: What's going on? How are you? Oh just me, Stewie. Just being myself. Euh, oh what this? Just my package. Just my package. God delivered it, I signed for it. The world keeps on spinning.
Submitted by AndraSidan (user info) at 2005-07-26 18:35:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Stewie (to Jeremy, the babysitter's boyfriend):
Ha! I got your hat! Take that, hatless! Now go back to the quad and resume your hackey sac tourney! I'm not gonna lay down for some frat boy bastard with his damn teether sandals and his Skoal Bandits and his Abercrombie and Fitch long sleeved, open stitched, crew neck Henley smoking his sticky buds out of a soda can while watching his favorite downloaded Simpsons episodes every night! Yes, we all love "Mr. Plow"! Oh, you've got the song memorized, do you? SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE! That is exactly the kind of idiot you see at Taco Bell at 1 in the morning! The guy who just whiffed his way down the bar skank ladder!
Submitted by checkyourmail (user info) at 2005-07-26 18:28:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-07-26 18:24:11 (#)
Ranking: -1
This show is actually pretty stupid - Stewie's funny, but that's about it.
-------------------------------
I'll give you that on the new ones...
Family Guy is like Monty Python. You don't always laugh out loud but its so damn quote-able.
Family Guy is unlike the Flying Circus however, in that the Python's were brilliantly funny and FG is far from brilliant.
Submitted by Rainer (user info) at 2005-07-26 18:24:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The movie was 'leaked'.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-07-26 18:24:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
This show is actually pretty stupid - Stewie's funny, but that's about it.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-07-26 18:20:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well, that's my momma! <fading laugh>
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2005-07-26 18:19:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Family guy is awesomeness manifest in cartoon form.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2005-07-26 18:19:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hmm....
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-07-26 18:19:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-07-26 18:18:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"I know you're a feminist and I think that's adorable....but it's grown-up time and I'm the man"
Submitted by RaineLark (user info) at 2005-07-26 18:16:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
bitch