Regrets (758 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: Favorites Negroes
Rating: 1.93 on 27 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jack McCallum (View user info) at 2005-07-26 19:29:13 EDT
You got your recordin' machine runnin' mistah Federal Agent?
Good.
Now listen up boy, ah likely only got time to tell it once. Ah got tubes up my nose and tubes in my pisshole and they got me trussed up like a baby under this heah sheet cause my bowels is leakin' non-stop now. Doctor said I got a few days left, if that.
You look like a bookkeepuh with them soft hands, but ah guess that's how you tracked me down, huh?
Ah know, ah know, you trackin down everyone in that old photo. Nevah did figure out what happened to Tommy Soames, huh?
Took you a while to get around to lookin for Jimmy Franklin too, course he was just a niggah so we can let that one slide for a few decades, huh?
I know the state police was lookin' into things a while. Gave it up though. An' I guess since we boys was hopping the 'Bama-Mississippi borduh and stringin' up niggahs you Feds had it on your books.
Yep, ah was part of the Franklin lynchin' all right. Last of the bunch, all the rest died long time ago. Ah guess we all never shoulda posed for that photo, huh? Grinnin' and holdin' up bottles of gin. No too smart.
You comin' heah about seventy-foah yeahs too late, son.
All the others is dead.
You awful pale, son. I bet you spend yoah life indoahs, huh? Reading and digging through old books and photos. Uh huh.
Well, you got me. You got me good. Not like you can do nothin' 'bout it now. I'm already six feet down and every breath I take is another shovel fulla dirt on my pine box.
How'd it go down? Simple, boy.
Simple.
Few men. Few drinks. One lone niggah with an attitude. We rolled into town in two trucks. Grabbed that boy and hit his nappy conk with a sap. Tossed him in back. Headed for the woods. Local law saw it, hell, half the town saw it. Ain't nobody spoke up for the niggah. Not then, anyhow.
We pulled off the road, nice and secluded. Before you ask, no, I have no recollection of where. That there stretch of lonely road, yeah, but exactly where, that's lost to time, son.
Now this niggah Jimmy Franklin, he was always stirrin' things up. Talkin' about voting the way he wanted to vote, marchin' into white businesses like he belonged, demandin' all kinds of high minded schoolin' for his children.
You could almost smell it in the air, the way some whites was soilin' themselves by sympathizin' with the boy. Shameful.
Nobody needed that kind'a trouble. Me and the boys had strung up niggahs all over two states, we wasn't gonna put up with lip in our own town.
So we got out to where we was goin' and was having a good ol' time beatin' on Jimmy Jay before hoistin' him up on high when another truck comes barrellin' down the road and Tommy Soames pulls up cussin' us like we was doin' somethin' wrong.
"You don't be hurtin' this boy," Tommy said.
"This here's a good boy and I done grow'd up with him. His momma an' daddy know their place and Jimmy's just goin' through a few loud years. He'll settle down soon enough."
And we said we didn't have no time to waste on this boy and we weren't gonna be beholden to a niggah's timetable. And we got out the ropes.
And Tommy yelled some more and someone yelled back and shoved a rifle butt into his gut.
When he got his wind back Tommy tried to get Jimmy free and we had us a free-for-all what with Jimmy wakin' up from his nap and hollerin' and Tommy shoutin' and half the men there fallin' down drunk and carryin' pistols and rifles.
So one of us gave Tommy a, what do you call it, a ultimatum.
Tommy was told, you shut up and get in your truck and go back to town, or you can swing with the niggah.
And Jimmy said the first thing that wasn't blubberin'.
"Mr. Tommy, you go home now. You go home to your wife and babies. You been a man among men, Mr. Tommy, but you my friend. I want you safe, so go on home now."
And Tommy stood all quiet for a moment and looked at all of us and looked at Jimmy Jay and said, "I can't."
And then he grabbed me by the throat and all I remember thinking was how strong he was and feeling a tree root in my backside as I fell under him.
And then I was okay, and Tommy and Jimmy was bein' strung up to dance in the lantern light.
We tied their hands, got those nooses good and tight and strung up that damn niggah and Tommy Soames.
They kicked and bounced, bumpin' into each other they was strung so close, and some of the men laughed at that. We posed for that picture, too.
Just before the end, when the body takes over and the final dance starts, those boys bumped back to back and grabbed each other's hands. Just for a moment, understand.
And then they kicked and died and we cut 'em down and planted them in the deep woods.
And that's all there is to tell, mistah Federal Agent.
What's that?
Feel guilty? No. Hell no, boy. Feel guilty for stringin' up a niggah and a dirty white race traitor? No suh.
I do feel a bit of regret though.
I got no family. No friends. That's whut took you so long to find me, I bet. I been rotting in this rest home for nine yeahs now. Ain't ever had but one visitor, and that's you, son.
I don't feel guilty.
But sometimes, I do regret that I never had a friend like Jimmy Jay and Tommy Soames had in each other.
Now why don't you go write up your report and leave me alone.
User Reviews
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-05-08 12:44:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yo sho dun know how to wryte niggaspeak, Jack.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-07-28 14:25:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-07-28 14:05:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
wow, you should have no problem advancing to the next round with this Jack, well done!
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Yeah. To hell with UberMadness.
I'll just make up my own contest and play with myself.
I'll call it the '1st Annual Jackoffs.'
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-07-28 14:05:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wow, you should have no problem advancing to the next round with this Jack, well done!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-07-27 16:14:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-07-27 08:36:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm so glad you can't compete. At first it was a bit hard to settle into, but after a few lines it read much more fluidly. Maybe that's just me, and account that it's still morning
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Yeah, it's kinda uneven. Another office quickie... so to speak.
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2005-07-27 10:11:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2005-07-27 09:51:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 cause I know a guy who tells stories like this, +2 more for non ubermadness post.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-07-27 08:36:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm so glad you can't compete. At first it was a bit hard to settle into, but after a few lines it read much more fluidly. Maybe that's just me, and account that it's still morning
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2005-07-27 08:14:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-07-27 06:16:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Brilliant bit of writing.
Submitted by Inanna (user info) at 2005-07-27 02:40:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice work. Dialect isn't easy to pull off; well done.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-07-26 22:58:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by horse87 (user info) at 2005-07-26 22:30:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just came back from South Carolina.
While I was there, I ran into a geriatric good ol' boy who must have been about 90.
When I read this, I could just hear his voice again...
Excellent....
Submitted by blank_mind (user info) at 2005-07-26 22:20:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Good stuff
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-07-26 22:15:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
pwesome
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-07-26 22:10:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-07-26 19:58:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
This was some damn good writing Jack...
Submitted by goose (user info) at 2005-07-26 21:46:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bravo
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-07-26 21:29:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If not for pieces like this, I would stop coming here.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-07-26 20:36:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Joedaddy- coulda been better. Hammered it out at work this afternoon to clear my head of office bullshit.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-07-26 20:27:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
damn.....ok./\
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-07-26 20:22:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-07-26 20:17:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-07-26 20:16:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and this is why Jack is Uberlord..
y'almos made me cry..
Submitted by Freakmagnet (user info) at 2005-07-26 20:08:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well done.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-07-26 19:58:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was some damn good writing Jack...
Submitted by NumLock (user info) at 2005-07-26 19:58:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked it.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-07-26 19:37:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The sad thing is; this pile of shit is better than anything on UberMadness III.
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2005-07-26 19:34:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I do not regret the things I've done, but those I did not do.