It's Time to Panic (1311 hits)
Category: UberMadness!Rating: -0.11 on 77 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by UberMadness! (View user info) at 2005-07-26 22:30:02 EDT
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This post is officially part of UberMadness!. Click here for more information on the rules and restrictions. |
Entry 1
I'm not sure when it all started, but I'm pretty sure it was when I entered high school.
Growing up, I was always the smartest kid in my classes, always the most ambitious. Always got the best grades, always had the best friends. Always was the best at sports.
When I started high school, I learned how little I could do and still get by.
I went to the local private Catholic high school by choice. My parents didn't mind spending the few Gs a year; they knew it was a better education than the lower-middle class public high school which was my other option. I wanted to go because I could play hockey.
It was the first day I stepped foot on the grounds of Bishop Garwan HS that I was recruited for football. I laughed at the captain of the team, and told him I was here to play hockey.
"Not at your size. A 6'1" 230 pound freshman's not something Coach D's gonna wanna pass up on. Just come meet him with me and see what you think."
I met coach D, and I was talked into giving football a shot. As it turns out, I was a natural.
But thats not what this story's about.
It was the first day of classes freshman year of high school, when I learned how little I could do and still get by.
My first class was Math...Algebra I to be specific. I slacked off, made friends, talked to girls, and the next day we had a pop quiz. I aced it. I remember thinking, "wow...that was easy."
And it started.
All through high school, I would do as little work as possible. I would never do homework, unless it was absolutely essential. I would never take notes in class, and I would rarely pay attention. I was pretty much the world champion at TI-86 tetris. I was a slacker.
But I got As. Straight As. And loved every minute of it. While others were studying hard and doing homework, all the way til senior year, I was playing sports, drinking beer, slacking off, and getting hot sophomores to suck my dick.
Yeah, highschool was a pretty good time.
Then it came time to go to college. I got into a good one, one people respected and said would be hard. They said I'd have to work hard. I'd have to study, and do lots of homework. I'd have to pay attention in class, and not skip.
Well...as you could probably guess...not so much. College was like a slackers breeding ground. I tried hard the first half of the first semester, and got As. Actually, it was more like until the first test. After the first test in all my classes freshman year in college, I knew it could be done.
I went back to my old ways. I started skipping class to play wiffleball, I started sleeping in class, and I started not doing my homework.
And I started taking graduate level classes as a sophomore.
I still got by.
I'm not gonna lie to you, I didn't get straight As. I graduated in 4 years with a 3.1 GPA, and 16 credits towards my masters.
Since I was a charming, social butterfly, upon graduation I began what they called "networking." I called up all my old contacts, people I had worked for, people I had met...people my parents got drunk with at a dinner party.
Sure enough, one thing led to another, and I got a job. A good, well paying job, at a great company, with a lot of opportunity for advancement.
Its been two years since I was hired, and I haven't changed my ways.
I still do only what is required to get by, and it seems to be working well. My superiors think I'm a smart, ambitious kid who works hard and gets his job done well. I even got a raise.
But deep down, I'm still a slacker. I surf the internet and email about 5 hours a day, bullshit with coworkers about 2 hours a day, and take an hour lunch daily to go to the gym. I "work" a 9 hour day.
I do about an hours worth of work a day, and get by. And succeed.
But half of me wonders, will I always be a slacker? How can I become rich and famous at this pace? I should own half the company by now, and have a herd of fresh-outs reporting to me.
My ambition is there, but my drive is not. I'd rather be lazy and get by, then work hard and thrive.
And that worries me. When is too late? I'm starting to panic.
- VS -
Entry 2
John Doe YesReally neatly and expertly landed the ship in the exact geometric center of the landing pad precisely as he had planned. It was, he had to admit, the most perfect ship landing ever in the history of ship landings. He turned to give his passengers a chance shower him with the proper accolades and then it hit him. The entire trip something had been nagging at him, but he just couldn't put a finger on it. The trip had been unnaturally quiet in the ship and now he remembered why, all of his passengers were bound, gagged, and as such completely unable to properly praise his magnificent piloting abilities."WE'RE HERE" he announced with a flourish.
The effect seemed to be lost on his audience who continued to struggle and twitch about in the most unseemly manner.
"SILENCE" he yelled stamping his foot in what he hoped would be a menacing way but realized it came across more like the sort of gesture a spoiled child might make upon being denied an all important toy or perhaps spot of ice cream. At the very least, it had the desired result, they all three stopped struggling and looked at him expectantly.
He surveyed the scene with a certain measure of skepticism. This was not at all unfolding the way he had planned it. Well, the landing had clearly gone without a hitch, that much he could take pride in, but the rest of it, well the rest of it not so much. For one thing, he had never planned for his visitors to arrive quite in this tied up and gagged sort of way.
Looking at them now, they did not seem the rich and powerful venture capitalists they purported to be. For one thing, there were the outfits. One of them, Thomas was wearing a chef's hat and cooking apron with "Vote for Pedro" in large red letters on the front. Next to Thomas was Richard clad entirely in a rather clownish looking bicycle outfit. Then there was the other one, Harold. He seemed to be wearing nothing but women's underwear and helpfully enough had already been gagged with a red ball and leather strap when John Doe YesReally had picked him up. In retrospect, perhaps Saturday evening was not the most appropriate time for a business meeting, but it was too late to worry about that now.
Together, they were Tom, Dick, and Harry. The thought of it made John Doe YesReally chuckle but then his amusement was cut short by the rather sharp and hostile way they were looking at him just now. "Oh dear", John Doe YesReally thought, "This might be more difficult that I thought. It all looked so easy on paper too."
"I suppose you're all wondering why I've called you here today" he started. No, that wasn't quite working. At some point he was going to have to untie them and things might just turn ugly quick. He needed a way to keep everything under control.
"All right, I'm going to untie you all now, but before I do so let me just cover a few ground rules. First of all, it will do you no good to scream. There is no one here who will help you even if they hear you so it would just be best if you maintained a semblance of personal control. Secondly, the controls in the ship are biometrically calibrated to only operate for me. This means that even if you figure out the mechanics of flying it and how to get home, you'll never get the ship off the ground so I advise you not to try anything funny. Now then, do we have an understanding?"
John Doe YesReally stared at Tom, Dick, and Harry in turn until they all nodded in apparent assent. Satisfied that the situation was under control, one by one, he untied them all.
"Now then, where were we, ah yes, I suppose you're all wondering why I called you here today."
"No, not really" Tom said, "mostly I was wondering how long this charade was going to go on before you returned us all back to our families or...perhaps, the two of us to our families. I have to admit, I'm not exactly sure what Harold here wants to return to."
"All right look", Harold interrupted, "since you asked, I was on my way to a costume party when this nutcase here burst in and demanded at gun point I might add that I come with him."
"Nobody asked" countered Tom, "and whatever this costume party was about is not like any costume party I for one have ever attended."
"Hey, I know who you are" Dick said rather accusatively, "you're that nutcase who keeps calling my office and trying to set up a meeting. Yea, now I remember, you've been claiming to have some sort of transport device that folds space or some such nonsense and you have a really silly name, John Doe or something."
"John Doe YesReally"
"See I knew it, this is John Doe."
"YesReally"
"That's what I said, John Doe."
"No, John Doe YesReally."
"Fine, John Doe or whatever your name really is, where are we?" Dick demanded moving menacingly closer to John Doe YesReally.
"When"
"What?"
"Not what or where, when and clearly my transport device works as advertised."
"What are you talking about?"
"When am I talking about, when not what or where, WHEN." John Doe YesReally was starting to lose patience. These men were supposed to be the best and the brightest and so far, they were acting far more thick skulled than he imagined.
"You know what" John Doe YesReally decided, "I don't think I'm quite ready to disclose any details of our exact location at the moment. The idea here is to get funding for my project and if any of you decide you don't want in, I'd really rather you not know everything. Let's just take this one step at a time, shall we? For now, let's just say that I now give you......
....THE NEXT BIG THING"
With that, John Doe YesReally hit the display button on his control panel. For a moment, the walls of the ship shimmered slightly and then suddenly and rather abruptly, vanished. Well, vanished may be too sensationalist of a word, mostly the walls just appear to vanish. In reality, the walls are made from clear plexiglas filled with liquid crystals. When John Doe YesReally hit the display button, the current running through the walls aligned the crystals giving the walls the illusion of vanishing. It was just one of the little tricks that he would be more than happy to explain to Tom, Dick, and Harry in the event that they decided to join his little business venture.
At the moment though, they seemed less impressed with the immediateness of the opaqueness of the walls than they were with the fact that they finally, after all this useless wasted time spent bantering about, realized that they were almost entirely surrounded by small, fur covered primates engaged in some type of ritualistic tribal greeting dance.
"What are they doing?" demanded Dick.
Dick, it would seem, was the most demanding one of the lot. "They are" John Doe YesReally explained patiently, "engaged in some type of ritualistic tribal greeting dance."
Dick strode confidently to the door panel, opened it, and walked outside. Tom and Harry followed while John Doe YesReally ran after them in a panic, "guys GUYS I don't really think this is a good..."
When the crowd below saw them they started chanting and banging their wooden staffs on the ground, "UCHA CHA CHA U CHA CHA CHA".
The group stopped at the top of the walkway and turned to John Doe YesReally. Dick seemed to be in charge as usual, "What exactly are they doing now? It's almost like they think we're gods of some kind."
"Ah well, yes umm about that" stammered John Doe YesReally, "well you see when I first got the ship to work and discovered this uh place we'll call it, I was a bit nervous as you might understand at their natural curiosity so well, I just found it easier to pull out a few tricks if you will to more or less win them over. You'd be surprised what a standard cheap plastic lighter will do to elevate your standing with a primitive people."
"So you made fire to make them think you were a god."
"Well that and a few well timed slight of hand tricks. It was never my intention for them to worship me oh goodness no, I just wanted to make sure I didn't end up becoming the main course at a feast you understand."
Tom and Harry shuffled nervously eyeing the approaching crowd. Harry tuned to John Doe YesReally, "it kind of seems like they are expecting us to do something, like perform some sort of trick or something."
"Oh I have an idea Harrry" Tom said, "why don't you pull some beads out of your..."
"HEY I TOLD YOU IT WAS A COSTUME PARTY."
The entire crowd below started whooping and chanting.
COSTUME PARTY
COSTUME PARTY
COSTUME PARTY
"Oh jeez what is this?" Harry demanded
OH JEEZ
OH JEEZ
OH JEEZ
As the whooping reached a crescendo, Harry turned to go back into the ship, but found that Tom had blocked his way, "Come on Harry don't be such a whatever you are, let's go check it out."
Tom, Dick, and Harry walked tentatively forward as the crowd parted to make a path for them. John Doe YesReally followed nervously positive, absolutely positive that this was the worst idea yet and he certainly has had his share of bad ideas.
The group followed the path through the crowd darting occasional glances back at John Doe YesReally. Suddenly the crowd closed around them and started walking around and around them in a circle. Harry tried to make a break for the ship, but the crowd pushed him back in the middle. Tom, Dick, and Harry looked to John Doe YesReally for an explanation, but he just looked miserable and refused to say anything. Then, right when Dick was about to lose patience and start roughing people up, a large man dressed entirely in colorful feathers strode confidently through the middle of the crowd carrying a large, colorfully decorated bowl full of some sort of white, milky liquid.
He stopped right in front of Tom, Dick, Harry, and John Doe YesReally, "UGAAAA UGAAA" and took a drink from the bowl slurping noisily. Then he handed the bowl to John Doe YesReally who nodded at him, tipped back the bowl, and handed it to Dick.
"What is this?" Dick demanded.
"No idea really, I told you all to stay in the ship", John Doe YesREally responded.
"It is some kind of hallucinogenic?"
"Most likely"
"Here" Harry interjected, "hand it over I'll try it."
"What a surprise" countered Tom.
"WHAT A SURPRISE WHAT A SURPRISE WHAT A SURPRISE" chanted the crowd.
The group passed the bowl around and when they finished drinking the rather bitter, obviously hallucinogenic contents, they found themselves lifted off their feet and carried through the jungle by the chanting crowd. At that point, there seemed nothing for it but to play along.
They were taken to a clearing in the jungle and sat down at a long, low table. Several of the man started banging enthusiastically on primitive musical instruments while everyone else spun around and circles in yet another ritualistic dance. Bowls of fruit and platters of meat appeared in front of the group while the crowd continued to dance. The group realized at that moment that they were famished and started digging into the plates of food.
"You know", Dick announced, "this kind of tastes like chicken."
"Everything kind of tastes like chicken", Harold replied.
"No, more than that", Dick said thoughtfully, "it tastes like chicken in a way that I've always imagined dinosaur meat would taste."
"You sit around imagining what dinosaur meat tastes like" Harold asked, "and to think, people call me weird."
"It is dinosaur meat", answered John Doe YesReally miserably.
"WHAT? Ok John Doe if that is your real name cut the crap. Where are we?"
John Doe YesReally sighed, "Well, if you must know, we're in San Francisco. I tried to tell you earlier, the appropriate question is not where are we, but when are we."
"That is completely insane" Dick yelled in panic jumping up from his seat at the table.
Then three rather confusing thing happened. Firstly, Dick was hit with an instant wave of dizziness and sat back down almost as quickly as he had jumped up. Secondly, the entire crowd around them froze in place not moving or making a single sound. Thirdly, the fact that it was instantly silent allowed the group to hear a somewhat familiar sound, in fact it kind of sounded like an engine. Odd that considering that in this time and place there really shouldn't be any engine sounds. In fact, the only engine anywhere around was theirs.
THEIR ENGINE
John Doe YesReally jumped up and looked around, "Where is the chief?"
"Who" asked Tom.
"The guy in the feathers who gave us the drink, where is he now? OH MY GOD!"
John Doe YesReally ran through the jungle in the direction of the noise. Tom, Dick, Harry, and the entire crowd followed him. He got to the clearing and his worst fears were realized. There in the cockpit, he could just make out the rather elated looking fact of the tribal chief as the ship slowly rose to a height just above the trees.
"I thought you said that this ship of yours had a biometrically calibrated control system so that no one other then you could fly it" Dick said accusatively.
John Doe YesReally sighed, "clearly I'm still working out the details of that. Besides, exactly how do you expect me to commercially market a ship that only I could fly, huh ever think of that?"
"So basically, let me see if I have this straight, no offense Harold", Tom interrupted. "that ship is the only way we have of getting home and at this very moment, some feather clad primitive tribal chief is at the helm?"
"Something like that" John Doe YesReally admitted.
Tom and Dick screamed. Harry fainted. The crowd screamed and fainted too and then stood up giggling.
"Hey, wait a minute, I have an idea" said Dick. "John how do you work the controls to land the ship?"
"Well you pull back on the.."
"No, show me. Act it out. Is he standing in the right place?"
"No, he should be about a half step to the left."
"Move a half a step to the left, we'll see what happens."
John Doe YesReally deliberately took a half step to his left. The gathered crowd also all took a rather deliberate half step to the left. Miraculously, so did the chief in the ship above."
"Ok so far so good, now slowly and carefully go through the motions to land the ship."
John Doe YesReally felt silly, but he acted out the landing procedures for the ship. So did the crowd, so did the chief. As they watched in growing excitement, the ship started descending and then landed, perhaps a bit more abruptly than John Doe YesReally would have liked, but land it did.
The chief walked out and raised his arms in celebration. The crowd greeted him with the same enthusiasm that they had greeted Tom, Dick, Harry, and John Doe YesReally "UCHA CHA CHA U CHA CHA CHA".
The chief walked out. Tom and Dick picked up Harry and carried him back on board the ship while John Doe YesReally powered the ship back up and prepared for take-off.
On the way back, John Doe YesReally pondered how badly the trip had gone. He was convinced that not only had he blown any shot of getting the funding for his expeditions, but would probably be facing jail time when they arrived back home.
At some point, Harry woke up, started babbling something about a horrible dream that he had about a tribe of cannibals who stole ships, looked around, screamed, and fainted again.
Dick walked up to John Doe YesReally and sat in what would have been the copilot's seat if there were a copilot on board. "So John old boy, what was your plan with all of this?"
"I didn't have one really. I thought maybe adventure travel or perhaps some kind of resort. I really hadn't gotten that far."
"Well I think we could work with this, don't you Tom?"
"Oh absolutely", Tom answered.
"There are a million things we could do with this. I like the resort idea. I'm also pretty sure we could market that drink we just had. I'll call my people when we get back and set up a meeting." Maybe we should go back to a time before they learned how to fly the ship though, what do you say?"
Entry 1:
absolutes
Adamdidit2u
badassmofo
Bellebrown
blank_mind
Blitzen
BLITZKREIG_BOB
bob
BobLobla
c1ndy
CaptainThorns
checkyourmail
corn_nugget
Crystle
darko
doctorj24
dodahdave
electrictoothsyndrome
ess-arr
Fabit
indoninja
Jack_McCallum
JMG114
JonnyX
Katastrofadark
kimmy02721
krissi
Magicaddict
Method
MrSparkle847
Natsukau
rad1101
rushtawin
Slovin
stevie_says
swamp_donkey
thecaes
thorpe
Val
Viciousriffs
36 eligible votes (40 total) *
Entry 2:
Berty
Circe
comicbookguy
Coyote
dasteve
Davros
domenad
DonkeyOnTheEdge
Harry_Manback
hollygolitely
jack11058
jgreening
loki
MANICMOTHER
munkeypants
MyNameIsTim
Pentameter
polyamorousaj
potatomanjack
satchel
sebcharrot
Snark
SPECIALk
spedmonkey
William_Q_Percy
YouLookLikeINeedADrink
zakalwe
26 eligible votes (27 total) *
* Eligible votes are those made by users who had either (A) posted 3+ messages OR (B) written 100+ [lowered from 750+] reviews as of the beginning of the UberMadness! competition.
User Reviews
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2005-07-28 11:45:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sjzkfc
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2005-07-28 11:40:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-07-28 11:29:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Different, and boy do I ever empathise with it. Though my luck has run out in the last couple of months.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-07-28 11:25:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-07-28 11:07:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
meh to both. Sorry!
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2005-07-28 11:04:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by kimmy02721 (user info) at 2005-07-28 10:10:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-07-28 10:01:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2005-07-28 09:08:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-07-28 08:47:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
meh
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2005-07-28 08:16:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Viciousriffs (user info) at 2005-07-28 02:07:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2005-07-28 01:20:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by rushtawin (user info) at 2005-07-28 00:29:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-07-27 23:46:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I was pretty much the world champion at TI-86 tetris.
_____________
When you consider that we hackers have gotten so bored we've turned arithmetic workhorses into surrogate Game Boys, it is indeed time to panic. The 83+ is cooler and widespread than the 86, and the story didn't have much to it, but it's absolutely you over John Doe NoReally.
Honestly, who'dve thought it's his last name? I thought it was a tragic spelling mistake until it repeated itself.
Submitted by YouLookLikeINeedADrink (user info) at 2005-07-27 23:15:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-07-27 22:28:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#1 the story of my life...
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-07-27 21:33:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-07-27 21:29:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-07-27 20:22:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Identified with number 1.
Number 2 was funny but went on too long for me.
Submitted by checkyourmail (user info) at 2005-07-27 19:02:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2005-07-27 18:50:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Entry 1. This sounds all true. It sounds kinda like my life. I know I have the brains, but boy am I lazy. However, this just wasn't of any... quality. This was more like an email to your mother or something. Sorry.
Entry 2. I liked this. The style was quirky, and worked well. Also, the story worked better for me.
Entry 2 it is...
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-07-27 18:08:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2005-07-27 16:42:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The pics wrecked both of the posts for me, #1 cause it was shorter.
Submitted by Harry_Manback (user info) at 2005-07-27 16:02:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-07-27 15:16:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Number 2 just...I don't know, but I liked it.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-07-27 14:58:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
author 1: bill simmons from espn.com had a quote that seems as if it were stolen from you:
"You might despise me today, but decades from now, I'm going to look like an absolute genius, an inspiration to every lazy person who ever wanted to continue to be lazy through adulthood without accidentally going too far and becoming a homeless person. That will be my legacy. You just don't see it yet"
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-07-27 12:43:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by dodahdave (user info) at 2005-07-27 12:20:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-07-27 12:15:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wow, #2, you must think you're pretty clever
- NEWSFLASH -
'YOU ARE NOT!'
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2005-07-27 11:13:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I could identify with author one. My life was and is very much like that, minus the hot dicksucking sophomores.
But author 2 made me laugh my ass off the whole way through. Yes, really!
Submitted by doctorj24 (user info) at 2005-07-27 11:00:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Um ... hmm. #2 was just worse than #1, IMO.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-07-27 10:21:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The little red numbers on the countdown are causing me stress. How am I going to get through all of this.
damn
At least there isn't a quiz at the end.
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2005-07-27 09:10:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-07-27 08:46:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by blank_mind (user info) at 2005-07-27 08:21:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Terrible stuff, I voted for the picture in entry one. That was the only thing I liked in both pieces.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-07-27 08:11:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-07-27 08:06:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Again, meh. Entry two, try not sounding like a three stooges episode next time.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-07-27 07:49:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-07-27 07:16:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
so is entry one for that matter
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-07-27 07:15:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
entry 2 is shit
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-07-27 07:15:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Not really sure why I am voting for #2.
Parts of it were totally lost on me.
But it just tickled me.
-Dave
Submitted by Natsukau (user info) at 2005-07-27 07:10:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-07-27 06:57:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
They where both shit. I have voted for 2 because the charachter in 1 is a hidious mish-mash of the author's fantasies about his/her life and blatent insecurities that left a bad taste in my mouth.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-07-27 06:47:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Magicaddict (user info) at 2005-07-27 05:33:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2005-07-27 04:10:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-07-27 03:18:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by absolutes (user info) at 2005-07-27 03:03:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not sure I liked the ending of #1, but I voted for it anyway
Submitted by Katastrofadark (user info) at 2005-07-27 02:45:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-07-27 01:41:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#1 resonated with me, because I struglle with the exact same thing. But 2 was just better.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-07-27 01:20:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
quick note, dprime madness will not have nay of these problems.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-07-27 01:19:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Filthy, Circe.... please tell me you had no part in this.
Please!
Tell me it was Mick and his deviously retarded ways or something...
Just not you two!
Tell me they haven't gotten to you too!
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-07-27 01:02:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Do I have to ask again???
Somebody tell me what the fucking FUCK is going on here.
Why are these coming out AFTER the deadline with two entries? Not only is this unprecedented, this is just fucking UNFAIR!
You fucks in the committee better have a goddamn good explanation for this shit, or you better believe I'm going to rip you all a new asshole come time for the breakdown.
Submitted by krissi (user info) at 2005-07-27 00:46:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Slovin (user info) at 2005-07-27 00:46:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-07-27 00:41:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I disliked both, and they both have some variation of the title in their filenames, so I'm just gonan go ahead and vote for the one that pained me less to read.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-07-26 23:59:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry, #2, but I drifted in and out during that read.
#1, this kind of thing is usually blah, but yours was good. I bet a lot of people are like that.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-07-26 23:42:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-07-26 23:27:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Neither of these went anywhere... entry one just made it to nowhere faster.
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2005-07-26 23:21:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-07-26 23:20:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
haha I wonder how many more things will go wrong...?
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-07-26 23:17:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ummm isn't this a bit late?
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-07-26 23:17:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-07-26 23:14:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-07-26 23:14:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What the fuck? I thought the round deadline had passed!!!!
What the fuck is THIS shit!?!?!
FOUL, I cry!
Submitted by swamp_donkey (user info) at 2005-07-26 23:12:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-07-26 23:09:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Blitzen (user info) at 2005-07-26 23:09:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by satchel (user info) at 2005-07-26 23:02:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by dasteve (user info) at 2005-07-26 22:50:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-07-26 22:43:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
<sniff> <sniff>
Yep!
2 piles of shit
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-07-26 22:42:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow, only two forfeits this round.
But whom did it and why???
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-07-26 22:39:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought the deadline was tuesday at noon?
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-07-26 22:38:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Pointless vs choppy&pointless
gack.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-07-26 22:37:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's time to panic because THIS IS WAY PAST DEADLINE!
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-07-26 22:35:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment