I have some MAJOR issues. (1141 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: Best
Rating: 2 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by That Is My Stapler (View user info) at 2005-07-27 11:50:28 EDT
Life is difficult for me, a politically correct terrorist. I'm an emotional mess. You see, I really hate to offend people. God forbid I should ever use a word like "nigger," or even "infidel scum." It's too offensive.
But somehow, everytime I blow random children, women and men into oblivion, I can't help but think they might be a little put-off by that. Perhaps a little offended. Maybe a little upset with me.
And really, I just can't afford a lawsuit right now.
Nonetheless, the work of Allah calls, you Great Satans, er....I mean...Ladies and Gentlemen of the West. I have my duty to love, stay clean, respect the laws of man and God, and blow innocents and American filth....(darnit! I mean people of the United States of America, and also Great Briton and Spain and a whole lot of other places) to as many tiny, eensy-weensy pieces as possible.
Yessir, it's tough being a terrorists in this day and age. I mean, I want to fuck as many virgins as possible, and I'm willing to die for it, by Golly. Yet, there is a nagging little feeling in the back of my mind that...you know...objectifying women in that mannor is perhaps...unacceptable? I mean, can you see the problem here? I want all the fresh, untarnished poontang I can get, but I don't want to see your face in public?!?!
In the words of the immortal Vinnie Barbarino; "I'm SOOOOOOO Confused!"
From what I understand, you can get sued in the USA for serving coffee that is too hot. Man. I totally understand that, and sympathize with whoever is suing, because I HATE it when I scald my tounge. But can you see how this makes me feel about turning a city into a pile of burning rubble with a dirty-bomb?
Well, it's just something to think about. Now I've gotta go kill some people. I hope you have a most pleasant day.
User Reviews
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-08-11 19:24:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It just doesn't get any better than this, folks. End of story.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-07-27 22:12:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked this. I thought I'd already rated it.
Submitted by userpete86 (user info) at 2005-07-27 17:09:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Derka... Derka... Mohamamad Jihad.
"oh! derka derka."
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-07-27 15:14:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
DERKA DERKA BITCHES!
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2005-07-27 15:03:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Derka Allah! Muhammed Jihad!
Submitted by SkinnyKenny (user info) at 2005-07-27 14:58:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is that an electric razor Osama has in his hand?
Submitted by Vulva (user info) at 2005-07-27 14:35:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Are those his real arms? He has the Michael Jackson disease (vittaligo or whatever).
What is it called again MJ?
Submitted by krissi (user info) at 2005-07-27 13:14:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can imagine this being a tough lifestyle. I hope things start to look up for you. :)
Praise be Allah.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-07-27 12:17:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Durka Durka!!!!!!
Submitted by swamp_donkey (user info) at 2005-07-27 12:11:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Allah motherfuckin' Ackbar
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-07-27 12:06:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Excuse me sir... Pardon the intrusion, but would it be too much for me to ask you do die? I mean...if it's not too much trouble???"
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2005-07-27 12:02:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
JIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD
Submitted by NotSteve (user info) at 2005-07-27 11:58:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shalom or shamone
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-07-27 11:54:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
praise be to Allah